# Create the All-Dreamy Baseball Teamy! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423 "2001-04-26T17:00:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/21 "2001-04-27T07:19:35Z")
Hi, **DRY**! Long time no see! ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/22 "2001-04-27T07:34:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monster104 \* > \*\*Hi, **DRY**! Long time no see! \*\* Thanks, **Monster104** , I hope you are well! Oh, and re \*\*minty green’s \*\*list, I largely agree, except I’d go with Pedro at pitcher, Delgado or Bagwell at first, Edgardo Alfonzo or Alomar at second. You could also make a case for Troy Glaus at third, but probably a better case in a year or two. Piazza’s obviously a viable option at catcher, Vladimir Guerrero in the OF. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/23 "2001-04-27T14:21:00Z")
I’d like to emphasize ONCE AGAIN, (for the torture of Geobabe) that I have been within pinching distance of one Mr. Brady Anderson while he was signing autographs, dressed all in black, his hair still wet from the shower. He looked at me, said “hey baby, c’mere at let me give you a tour of my pants.” And I said, “Sorry, I’m married.” OK…that last part didn’t happen. MY TEAM: **Brady Anderson times three**. Mark Grace of course…that…traitor. Check out the new li’l Cubs shortstop Augie Ojeda…he’s short and he’s not…DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, but his face is real cute and he’s sort of soft spoken…someone you could corrupt. Gabe Kapler I’m still on the fence about Ryan Klesko. Ladies, is he cute? He looks cute from far away. Can we put Doug Weight of the Edmonton Oilers on the team? I mean, he’s a hockey player, but he’s dreamy. God, my mind is drawing a blank. I think Kerry Wood is sexy, but that’s just because he’s so good. Guys who are really good at what they do are sexy. jarbaby \<-- saw Brady Anderson wet. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/24 "2001-04-27T14:32:33Z")
I think you have to inclue Mike Mussina (pitcher for the Yankees). I was watching him pitch the other week and thought he was pretty damn cute. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/25 "2001-04-27T14:45:05Z")
THANK GOD FOR MR. JARBABY. He read this thread and reminded me of two of my faves that I left off. GOOD LORD…Cal Ripken Jr.! He’s DREAMY AS ALL GET OUT! He must be on the team… And, of course…Bobby Higgonson of the Detroit Tigers. He looks…rough, like he could throw you around a li’l bit, pull your hair and stuff. He’s dreamy. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/26 "2001-04-27T15:02:45Z")
**jarbabyj** , I am _almost_ ashamed to admit that I have a thing for Ryan Klesko. Why? The strange pattern of facial hair that he insists on keeping. Is it a beard? Is it a goatee? Is it just really runaway sideburns? For cripe’s sake, either grow it all or shave it all! That aside, he’s got one hell of a body. Big, muscular arms. Kind of guy that I’d love to have overpower me, if you know what I mean. I had considered offering him up with my other Padres, but it was the funky facial hair that stopped me. Didn’t want you all to think I had wacky taste. But since you suggest him, I reconsider. I offer up a hearty, “Hell Yeah! Bring on Ryno!!” ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/27 "2001-04-27T15:03:57Z")
**Crunchy** and **minty** : Hey, who says I’m not a “real” baseball fan? I am, and I shouldn’t have to defend that. Were I to start a thread in which talent mattered, I wouldn’t have put “DREAMY” in the thread title, for chrissakes. And as far as my ogling tendencies, gimme a break. Do guys watch Anna Kournikova only for her forehand? Please. **jarbabyj** wrote: > [@](#): > > Check out the new li’l Cubs shortstop Augie Ojeda…he’s short and he’s not…DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, but his face is real cute and he’s sort of soft spoken…someone you could corrupt. I dunno. He’s sorta cartoony to me. > [@](#): > > Gabe Kapler I concur wholeloinedly. > [@](#): > > I’m still on the fence about Ryan Klesko. Ladies, is he cute? He looks cute from far away. Not as far as I can tell, but that’s just me. The goofy facial hair makes me think of the Backstreet Boys. > [@](#): > > Guys who are really good at what they do are sexy. I agree, but exceptions, in my opinion, have to be made for the mediocre-but-pretty guys. Like my little love puppy Davey Martinez. **DRY** wrote: > [@](#): > > Dante Bichette See, that’s just wrong. **Geobabe** wrote: > [@](#): > > You want a “real” baseball thread, get outta here and go start one of your own! A-bleeding-men. **deb2world** quote: > [@](#): > > A pitcher that my Mom (age 74) and I have drooled over is Ismael Valdes Hmm. He doesn’t really do it for me… > [@](#): > > 1st: Mo Vaughn – even though he is injured, I have a soft spot for a big muscular man, mmmmm. Well, he is big and muscular, but by that token, McGwire’d have to count too, and he’s just…McGwirey. Enh. > [@](#): > > For outfield gotta go with Garret Anderson Now him, I can see making the cut. But Ivan Rodriguez? And Jason Giambi? Am I missing something? **minty green** wrote: > [@](#): > > You people suck. Was Babe Ruth easy on the eyes? Is Pudge Rodrigez sponge-worthy? How many times did Ty Cobb have to wait until closing before somebody found him shagadelic? Hey, who cares? I could understand your irritation if this began as a “real” fantasy team thread and devolved into a drool-fest. But…duh, DREAMY. > [@](#): > > Besides, even Johnny Damon’s mother thinks he’s one ugly s.o.b. That picture does not do him any justice. If you actually watch him play, you’ll see what I mean. Even my straight boyfriend admits it. **Geobabe** wrote: > [@](#): > > Oh, and second on my list, a man I would be stalking today if only [expletive deleted] Peter Angelos hadn’t let him go, would be Rafael Palmeiro. Slurp. He’s not a bad player either. Maybe it’s 'cause I’m Mexican, but the moustache makes him look like my grandfather. Not that that doesn’t turn me on…oh jeez, did I say that out loud? **robgruver** wrote: > [@](#): > > At 2nd Base you should include Craig Biggio of the Astros. Not only is he an awsome second basemen, a wonderful provider for the community (does a lot of work for the Make a Wish Foundation), he is amazingly cute as well. If I were to construct an actual fantasy team, I would most certainly include Biggio at 2B. But as far as dreaminess, he’d be sidelined with Bagwell. Know what I mean? **iampunha** wrote: > [@](#): > > P Pedro Martinez. Dude, the guy’s cute. You think? > [@](#): > > RP Sidney Ponson. Guy’s got an ass. That’s all I have to say. Much as I am loath to admit it, I haven’t noticed. I’ll reserve my judgment. **scout1222** wrote: > [@](#): > > Any good baseball team is going to need a closer. I nominate Trevor Hoffman. Mmm, legs and ass. > [@](#): > > As for second base, I’d like to nominate, especially when he smiles, the damn cutie, Damian Jackson. Yeah, he sorta looks like a troublemaker. I dig that. > [@](#): > > I’m also fond of El Duque in a strange, exotic, he speaks little English sort of way. No need to converse with these Dreamy Team members, right? Converse? What for? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/28 "2001-04-27T15:11:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gundy \* > Converse? What for? Right. Unless it’s DIRTY Conversation…yum. Thanks scout…I think I’ll give Ryan Klesko another look. Baseball arms are really what does it for me. And I agree Gundy. I am a HUGE baseball fan, have been since I was twelve (witness my contribution to several baseball threads this season). It’s just a bonus that as a hetero woman I can also appreciate the scenery 😃 jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/29 "2001-04-27T15:13:34Z")
Just a joke, **Gundy**. You don’t really suck, even though you’re deluded that Johnny Damon is dreamy. Sorry, that boy is ug-lee. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/30 "2001-04-27T15:22:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by minty green \* > \*\*Just a joke, **Gundy**. You don’t really suck, even though you’re deluded that Johnny Damon is dreamy. Sorry, that boy is ug-lee. 😉 \*\* Oh man, are you ever on my list. Next you’ll be telling me that Mark Grace isn’t the best 1st baseman that ever lived…and if you do…::brandishing fist:: Any Oakland fans here who can back me up on Johnny? See, I think Cal Ripken is a pretty damn attractive older man, but my boyfriend balked. Naturally he has better taste in men than I have, so I second guessed myself. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/31 "2001-04-27T15:24:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gundy \* > > See, I think Cal Ripken is a pretty damn attractive older man, but my boyfriend balked. Naturally he has better taste in men than I have, so I second guessed myself. Gundy, my ridiculously straight husband met Cal Ripken, actually helped him pick out books…and even HE, MY HUSBAND said, “That’s a good lookin’ guy” 'nuff said. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/32 "2001-04-27T15:28:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gundy \* > > Any Oakland fans here who can back me up on Johnny? ooooo… I don’t know Gundy. If I have to go by [[http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/5484.html](http://espn.go.com/mlb/profiles/profile/5484.html)]this]( [url) pic, I’ve got to say…he’s no Brady Anderson. And Gundy…since you’re a big Cub fan…what about Brant Brown??? He was DRE-----------AMYYYYYY…and, he had a habit of shaving his entire body. HIS ENTIRE BODY. Think about THAT. jarbaby ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/33 "2001-04-27T15:31:04Z")
Good coding! [sub]idiot[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/34 "2001-04-27T16:01:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gundy \* > **P:Greg Maddux** , Atlanta Braves. I just love the professorial look he has with his glasses on. When he opens his mouth, it’s another story…but hey, this is about looks, and he’s a cutie. Don’t know if this bursts your bubble, but Maddux had the LASIK surgery done about a year or so ago. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/35 "2001-04-27T16:07:52Z")
I don’t know if THIS bursts your bubble, but he’s also ugly as sin. 🙂 He looks…dorky d&r ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/36 "2001-04-27T16:29:07Z")
All right, all right. Johnny Damon IS good looking! Dammit! He looks like a browner Dean Cain! The picture on ESPN is dorky! Re: Greg Maddux, maybe it’s just my little pre-teen obsession with him, back when he was a Cub. And to be honest, the LASIK stuff passed me by, but thanks, mouthbreather. My bubble remains intact. So ha! ::goes off to weep miserably:: ---
**Author:** ![minty\_green](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@minty\_green](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minty_green)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2001, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423/37 "2001-04-27T18:35:55Z")
Sorry, Gundy, but Johnny has that Neanderthal thing going even in his [official A’s photo](http://athletics.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/oak/team/oak_player_bio.jsp?club_context=oak&playerid=113028). Of course, there’s no accounting for taste. For instance, I vastly prefer Lindsay Davenport to Anna Kournikova. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-all-dreamy-baseball-teamy/63423.md?page=1)