# Create the next Godwin's Law **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 28, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843 "2008-05-28T02:38:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/1 "2008-05-28T02:38:59Z")
Inspired by [Why would anyone counterfeit a new bill?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=469601) > [@](#): > > So long as there are dull retail clerks, there will be forgers. > > – Boyo Jim’s Law ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/2 "2008-05-28T03:02:01Z")
Whenever there’s a thread asking if a photo is real or fake, somebody will ALWAYS say “that’s the worst photoshopping I’ve ever seen” (or something very similar), even when the photo is 100 percent genuine and unaltered. – Revtim’s Law ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/3 "2008-05-28T03:04:07Z")
When the weight of famous females is mentioned, someone will bring up Marilyn Monroe’s dress size (and a debate will ensue about how big she ‘really’ was). -Cat Fight’s Law ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/4 "2008-05-28T03:50:45Z")
The number of times that an order has to be repeated in a fast-food restaurant is inversely proportional to its accuracy. **chaoticbear** ’s law ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/5 "2008-05-28T03:54:17Z")
Whenever there is a “system”, someone will try to game it. **Beowulff’s** Law ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/6 "2008-05-28T04:34:22Z")
The farther you drive looking for a gas station with a good price, the more likely it will be that the very first place you passed was the cheapest. – Diceman’s Law ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/7 "2008-05-28T04:40:12Z")
Every SD thread will have at least one post by a smart-arse who thinks he’s clever, but which everyone else just rolls their eyes at. **Askance’s Law** Oh, and to prove it: Chopped cabbage with mayonnaise **Cole’s Law** ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/8 "2008-05-28T05:54:45Z")
If there are four or more people sharing a meal in a restaurant, there will always be at least three ways of splitting the check. –Tapioca’s Law ---
**Author:** ![The\_Them](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/898d66/32.png) [@The\_Them](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Them)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/9 "2008-05-28T09:13:34Z")
The clarity of the noise from a car engine is proportional to the inverse of the square of the amount it will cost to fix. –What They Say ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 9:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/10 "2008-05-28T09:21:14Z")
[QUOTE=Tapioca Dextrin] If there are four or more people sharing a meal in a restaurant, there will always be at least three ways of splitting the check. –Tapioca’s Law [/QUOTE] You overworked it. If there are two or more people sharing a meal in a restaurant, there will be at least four ways of splitting the check. –Tapioca-Nava’s Law (One pays everything; split down the middle; split according to income [Ogette is my witness, my mother has been known to do this]; each pays his own) The amount of noise produced by a motorbike is inversely proportional to its cc’s and the brain-cc’s of the monkeybrick driving it –GG’s Law, GG being my BASIC teacher. ---
**Author:** ![MovingTarget](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@MovingTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovingTarget)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/11 "2008-05-28T12:13:41Z")
Any time you forget to check your take out bag before getting home, your order will be screwed up. - MovingTarget’s law ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/12 "2008-05-28T12:21:35Z")
[QUOTE=Nava] The amount of noise produced by a motorbike is inversely proportional to its cc’s and the brain-cc’s of the monkeybrick driving it –GG’s Law, GG being my BASIC teacher. [/QUOTE] Ludovic’s corollary: The amount of noice produced by a motorbike is inversely proportional to the need to hear it for “safety”. (i.e. at a stoplight you can hear them just fine, especially when they accelerate out of the red light, but you don’t _need_ to hear them cause most everyone has situational awareness at a red light. But on the highway, when the loud engine advocates say they need their loud rumbly ear splitting engines to prevent collisions, they are almost inaudible over the highway noise.) ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/13 "2008-05-28T12:47:54Z")
[QUOTE=MovingTarget] Any time you forget to check your take out bag before getting home, your order will be screwed up. - MovingTarget’s law [/QUOTE] Corollary: When you do check the bag, the order is perfect, but you will burn your hand on some stray sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/14 "2008-05-28T13:06:54Z")
Easy: Whenever someone ever mentions Hitler, Nazis, Germany, or anything even vaguely pertaining to the subject, _even if it’s a perfectly good example of what they’re talking about,_ someone will scream “Godwinizing! Godwinizing! WAAAHHH!!” as if no reference to Hitler and Nazism can ever be relevant to any social debate, and might as well be forgotten forever and never mentioned again. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/15 "2008-05-28T14:28:46Z")
Clothahump’s Law: the farther in advance a movie is promoted, the worse it will suck when released. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/16 "2008-05-28T14:37:51Z")
[QUOTE=Clothahump] Clothahump’s Law: the farther in advance a movie is promoted, the worse it will suck when released. [/QUOTE] **Ding ding ding** We have a winner! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![IncompletIdiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7cd45c/32.png) [@IncompletIdiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IncompletIdiot)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/17 "2008-05-28T14:48:58Z")
[QUOTE=Askance] Every SD thread will have at least one post by a smart-arse who thinks he’s clever, but which everyone else just rolls their eyes at. **Askance’s Law** Oh, and to prove it: Chopped cabbage with mayonnaise **Cole’s Law** [/QUOTE] Yep! you forgot the carrot and onion… which leads to mine:- Everyone has their own version of a simple recipe, and no two versions in a group coincide. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/18 "2008-05-28T14:52:22Z")
The length of time you spend sitting and thinking before posting to a thread is inversely proportional to the quality of said post. - **Really Not All That Bright’s** Law ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/19 "2008-05-28T14:59:54Z")
[QUOTE=Really Not All That Bright] The length of time you spend sitting and thinking before posting to a thread is inversely proportional to the quality of said post. - **Really Not All That Bright’s** Law [/QUOTE] Damn, missed the edit window. **Really Not All That Bright** ’s collary to **Really Not All That Bright** ’s Law: The longer it takes you to think of something funny to say, the less likely it is that what you thought of is actually funny. ---
**Author:** ![Borborygmi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/borborygmi/32/217_2.png) [@Borborygmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borborygmi)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843/20 "2008-05-28T15:07:58Z")
The more you swerve in attempting to avoid a pothole, the more likely you are to hit it squarely. - **Borborygmi** ’s Law [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/create-the-next-godwins-law/450843.md?page=2)