# Creationism firestorm coming? Human-chimpanzee hybrids for 4 million years? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277 "2006-05-18T16:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/1 "2006-05-18T16:36:33Z")
This might get ugly. This[_Los Angeles Times_ story](http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-chimps18may18,1,7248345.story?coll=la-headlines-world) says that the human chimpanzee split started about 6 million years ag and took about 4 million years to accomplish with probable interbreeding during that 4 million years. Coult this mean a possible human-chimpanzee hybrid by artificial insemination? I know the DNA match is quite close. Is it as close as, say, the horse-donkey match? I couldn’t find a definitive rundown of horse-donkey DNA match through Google. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/2 "2006-05-18T16:56:32Z")
I don’t have an answer, but I think I already hear Ann Coulter screeching. It hurts. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/3 "2006-05-18T17:13:49Z")
I think it’zs wonderful. Not only are humans descended from apes – some apes (i.e., chimpanzees) are descended from humans. So: if all humans have souls, do those chimpanzees have souls? ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/4 "2006-05-18T17:25:25Z")
Oh c’mon. Don’t tell me for one minute that anyone on this board has not Googled “Humanzee” at least once. We all know you’re lying. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/5 "2006-05-18T17:42:37Z")
> [@Athena](#): > > Oh c’mon. Don’t tell me for one minute that anyone on this board has not Googled “Humanzee” at least once. We all know you’re lying. **I** haven’t. **I** use Ask Jeeves for _all_ my Humanzee Man-Ape shopping needs. 😉 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/6 "2006-05-18T17:49:45Z")
I, for one, welcome our new … oh, nevermind. Would that really be any different than what we have now? ---
**Author:** ![Figaro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ea666f/32.png) [@Figaro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Figaro)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/7 "2006-05-18T18:09:12Z")
The report I heard made a point of emphasizing that the two species being discussed were _very distant_ ancestors of modern-day chimp and human species, not at all like their present-day descendants, and that interpreting the story as meaning “humans and chimps used to interbreed” would be totally misleading. In otherwords: no hybrids. The species mentioned no longer exist. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/8 "2006-05-18T18:37:40Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > I, for one, welcome our new … oh, nevermind. > > Would that really be any different than what we have now? A _bit_ hairier. Just a bit. Maybe. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/9 "2006-05-18T19:00:52Z")
Actually, I believe that _Bonobos_ (originally called _Pygmy Chimpanzees_) are more closely related to us. Say… What if the closest human relatives to Bonobos lived in Turkey, and the hybrids were a littler mentally unbalanced. Daffy. Then you could legitimately call those hybrids… …Naahhhh. I can’t say it. Too awful a pun. And too obscure for a lot of Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/10 "2006-05-18T19:07:59Z")
Once you go Chiman You’ll live to make semen. Grok. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/11 "2006-05-18T19:11:48Z")
Too easy. Try: Once you go chimp, you’ll never be limp. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/12 "2006-05-18T19:23:16Z")
Erectus? Darn near crossbred us! ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/13 "2006-05-18T19:41:10Z")
Hmmm, I’ve got a question: Are we talking about TWO distinct species? If they were two distinct species, wouldn’t it have been impossible fo rthe two to mate? I’m missing something here… ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/14 "2006-05-18T19:44:50Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Actually, I believe that _Bonobos_ (originally called _Pygmy Chimpanzees_) are more closely related to us. > > Say… What if the closest human relatives to Bonobos lived in Turkey, and the hybrids were a littler mentally unbalanced. Daffy. Then you could legitimately call those hybrids… > > …Naahhhh. I can’t say it. Too awful a pun. And too obscure for a lot of Dopers. Oh, c’mon - the suspense is killing me. I can’t work it out for myself, got the brain shivers today. Pleeeeeeease? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/15 "2006-05-18T19:48:28Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Once you go chimp, you’ll never be limp. Once you go-rilla it’s always a thrilla. ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/16 "2006-05-18T19:54:30Z")
> [@YaWanna](#): > > Oh, c’mon - the suspense is killing me. I can’t work it out for myself, got the brain shivers today. Pleeeeeeease? BONOMO TURKISH TAFFY (DAFFY) ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/17 "2006-05-18T19:58:15Z")
> [@Mindfield](#): > > I don’t have an answer, but I think I already hear Ann Coulter screeching. > > It hurts. I don’t know about the chimps, but Ann Coulter’s face is good evidence for the existence of human-_horse_ hybrids. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/18 "2006-05-18T20:07:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by YaWanna > Oh, c’mon - the suspense is killing me. I can’t work it out for myself, got the brain shivers today. Pleeeeeeease? > > BONOMO TURKISH TAFFY (DAFFY) Almost. It’d be: **Bonobo-Turkish Daffy** Which, of course,recalls this treat ftom my youth, which is apparently poised to make a comeback: [http://www.bonomosturkishtaffy.com/](http://www.bonomosturkishtaffy.com/) If you smack a Bonomo-Turkish Daffy hard against a wall, does it split into bite-sized pieces? ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/19 "2006-05-18T20:15:04Z")
Chimp is some prime mate. ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2006, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277/20 "2006-05-18T20:26:33Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > Almost. It’d be: > > **Bonobo-Turkish Daffy** > > Which, of course,recalls this treat ftom my youth, which is apparently poised to make a comeback: > > [http://www.bonomosturkishtaffy.com/](http://www.bonomosturkishtaffy.com/) > If you smack a Bonomo-Turkish Daffy hard against a wall, does it split into bite-sized pieces? I think you have to freeze it first. (I have this vague feeling that I had the stuff long ago, myself.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationism-firestorm-coming-human-chimpanzee-hybrids-for-4-million-years/357277.md?page=2)