# Creationist Theme Park?!?!?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 2, 2004, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085 "2004-05-02T01:52:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/21 "2004-05-02T22:18:55Z")
With the Grand Canyon/Water Uphill thing, what Hovind seems to be assuming is that geologist believe that while the _course_ of the river has eroded down to its current level over a long time, the _source_ of the river has always been where it is, meaning that to start eroding the canyon, the river would have to magically flow up to the top level from the source. Of course it’s another moronic straw man argument. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2004, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/22 "2004-05-02T22:53:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Of course it’s another moronic straw man argument. Well, ‘from the mouths of idiots’ and all that. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/23 "2004-05-03T02:17:21Z")
I checked out the website… With the exception of the “fossil hunt” it appears to be a set of park type swing sets, see-saws, monkey bars, slides etc. with the word “asaurus” attached to them. Here’s the [Flingasaurus](http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/dal2.asp?pg=rides&specific=10) and the [Pterodactyl Dive](http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/dal2.asp?pg=rides&specific=4) and the [Springasaurus](http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/dal2.asp?pg=rides&specific=11) [or the Congo Trail](http://www.dinosauradventureland.com/dal2.asp?pg=rides&specific=2) > [@](#): > > This elaborate obstacle course shows many of the dangers missionaries must face – even while trying to traverse the jungle as fast as possible. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/24 "2004-05-03T03:03:54Z")
Is this the first time anyone’s built a theme park to promote a particular opinion? For that matter, is this the first theme park that had a purpose other than to entertain people and make money? BTW… > [@](#): > > Mr. Hovind, a former public school science teacher with his own ministry, Creation Science Evangelism, … Anyone else cringe when they hear the words “science” and “evangelism” that close together? ---
**Author:** ![GorillaMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/50afbb/32.png) [@GorillaMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GorillaMan)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/25 "2004-05-03T03:25:28Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Anyone else cringe when they hear the words “science” and “evangelism” that close together? Yeah, except when they’re accompanied by the words “Former public school science teacher” ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/26 "2004-05-03T07:42:33Z")
From the page for the Pterodactyl Dive: “This giant swing illustrates the law of the pendulum. Hang on for the ride of your life as you trust God’s laws to never change.” I’m still trying to decide which is lamer, the attraction or the ad copy… :wally ---
**Author:** ![Darkhold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@Darkhold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darkhold)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/27 "2004-05-03T07:50:18Z")
I still don’t understand the lessons they try to teach. “God’s Laws never change”? If he’s a spiritual being that controls everything he can change them at whim. The whole miracle thing. Really if they never change then God really doesn’t have any interesting function until you die. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/28 "2004-05-03T13:21:49Z")
What if you take little Timmy and test his faith in God and he fliches? The teasing I got from my old sibs when I was too scared to ride something was one thing but… [Nelson] Ha Ha You had a crisis of faith! [/Nelson] ---
**Author:** ![BrianJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/54ee81/32.png) [@BrianJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrianJ)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/29 "2004-05-03T17:22:39Z")
> [@Darkhold](#): > > I still don’t understand the lessons they try to teach. “God’s Laws never change”? If he’s a spiritual being that controls everything he can change them at whim. The whole miracle thing. Really if they never change then God really doesn’t have any interesting function until you die. Hehe… Not to mention what it does to most of the Genesis stories like the ‘great flood’. Yeah thanks Kent, for provinf the flood never happened… glad ya agree. 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/30 "2004-05-03T17:32:12Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Is this the first time anyone’s built a theme park to promote a particular opinion? For that matter, is this the first theme park that had a purpose other than to entertain people and make money? Why, yes. [Erich von Daniken](http://www.ccgm.org.au/Articles/ARTICLE-0065.htm) has. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/31 "2004-05-03T18:14:51Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Is this the first time anyone’s built a theme park to promote a particular opinion? [Certainly not](http://www.zentropolis.net/logs_2003_09_22.htm). However, this so-called Dinosaur Adventure Land sounds more like a tourist trap designed to catch Creationists. > [@Darkhold](#): > > I still don’t understand the lessons they try to teach. “God’s Laws never change”? If he’s a spiritual being that controls everything he can change them at whim. The whole miracle thing. Really if they never change then God really doesn’t have any interesting function until you die. It’s not even uniformly applied. > [@](#): > > Rubberband Shooting > > Learn to shoot a rubberband the scientific way by applying an important scientific lesson. Rubberband shooting is scientific but swinging objects aren’t? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/32 "2004-05-03T18:28:18Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Genesis is definitely not 6,000 years old, it’s maybe half that. Common exaggeration arising from Phil Collins premature balding. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/33 "2004-05-03T18:31:53Z")
Oh, and I found [an article on the IRS investigation](http://www.guardian.co.uk/worldlatest/story/0,1280,-3989075,00.html). ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/34 "2004-05-03T19:28:05Z")
C’mon, this isn’t so bad a concept. At least I get a new sig out of it. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2004, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/35 "2004-05-03T19:29:48Z")
I sympathize with the real victims here–the kids who get dragged to this jumped-up playground. Calling Dinosaur Adventure Land a “theme park” is a gross exaggeration that completely distorts the picayune, down-market quality of the place. Imagine being some bright-eyed young Christian who’s been promised an exciting trip to a fundy amusement park, only to find out the so-called rides are just crappy playground slides and jungle gyms that must be a sore disappointment. How can you call the “Nerve-Wrecking Ball” a ride? All the kid does is stand still while some clueless volunteer launches a bowling ball at his face. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/36 "2004-05-04T00:23:43Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > I sympathize with the real victims here–the kids who get dragged to this jumped-up playground. Calling Dinosaur Adventure Land a “theme park” is a gross exaggeration that completely distorts the picayune, down-market quality of the place. > > Imagine being some bright-eyed young Christian who’s been promised an exciting trip to a fundy amusement park, only to find out the so-called rides are just crappy playground slides and jungle gyms that must be a sore disappointment. That’s exactly what I was thinking. I didn’t want to stay at the website for too long but in some of those pictures it looked like this dump might actually be located at Hovind’s house. > [@](#): > > How can you call the “Nerve-Wrecking Ball” a ride? All the kid does is stand still while some clueless volunteer launches a bowling ball at his face. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/37 "2004-05-04T01:13:21Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Imagine being some bright-eyed young Christian who’s been promised an exciting trip to a fundy amusement park, only to find out the so-called rides are just crappy playground slides and jungle gyms that must be a sore disappointment. Not only that, but where the hell are the _dinosaurs_? If I’m going to “Dinosaur Adventure Land”, I damn sure want to see some dinosaurs and have some adventures, not play on crappy playground equipment! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/38 "2004-05-04T13:40:13Z")
> [@Darwin's Finch](#): > > Not only that, but where the hell are the _dinosaurs_? If I’m going to “Dinosaur Adventure Land”, I damn sure want to see some dinosaurs and have some adventures, not play on crappy playground equipment! Does that mean you can do without the land part? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/39 "2004-05-04T14:03:31Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > That’s exactly what I was thinking. I didn’t want to stay at the website for too long but in some of those pictures it looked like this dump might actually be located at Hovind’s house. I think you’re right. Mapquest puts his house on the opposite side of the same block. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2004, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085/40 "2004-05-04T14:38:02Z")
> [@](#): > > How can you call the “Nerve-Wrecking Ball” a ride? All the kid does is stand still while some clueless volunteer launches a bowling ball at his face. Good point. Not to be too Seinfeld about it, but it definitely cannot be considered a ride if you just stand there. In fact, having some fundie idiot chuck a bowling ball at my face would make the whole thing even _less_ fun than just standing there; on the whole I’d rather stand around than have bowling balls fly at me. Unless I got to throw the bowling ball _back_… then I could do it all day. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creationist-theme-park/243085.md?page=3)