# creative swearing. \[warning. er... swearing\] **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 18, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212 "2008-11-18T00:59:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/1 "2008-11-18T00:59:56Z")
I just got called a ‘fucktard’ on another messageboard. It occured to me that this was a pretty lame sweary name. I accosted the person for not thinking of something better like ‘cumsocket’ or ‘dickbag’ Then I thought to myself: Those people at the SDMB would probably be good at creative swearing. And then this thread happened. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/2 "2008-11-18T01:06:45Z")
Thank you for the explanation as I’ve often wondered how some of your threads get started. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/3 "2008-11-18T01:07:40Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > Thank you for the explanation as I’ve often wondered how some of your threads get started. I assume you’re being sarcastic as I often explain my reasons for a thread. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/4 "2008-11-18T01:30:14Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I assume you’re being sarcastic as I often explain my reasons for a thread. I’m sorry you had to assume, I thought the sarcasm was clearer. My apologies. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/5 "2008-11-18T01:35:26Z")
My former boss once commented that if a certain decision didn’t go our office’s way we were going to be “el fucko”. I still use that phrase sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/6 "2008-11-18T01:38:30Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I’m sorry you had to assume, I thought the sarcasm was clearer. My apologies. Y’know, for a thread about swearing, this is pretty mild. I’d have expected something more like: “Thank you for the explanation as I’ve often wondered how some of your threads get started, _ya’ great moldy penile excrescence_” “I assume you’re being sarcastic as I often explain my reasons for a thread, _you undersexed barnacle larvae_” “I’m sorry you had to assume, I thought the sarcasm was clearer. My apologies, _you dog-vomit slime mold, you_.” Just trying to stay in the spirit of the OP 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/7 "2008-11-18T01:44:45Z")
I like “dog-vomit slime mold” because I’m too much of a knob-gobbler to really understand the other two. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/8 "2008-11-18T01:50:50Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I’m sorry you had to assume, I thought the sarcasm was clearer. My apologies. If it wasn’t for the fact that I fear there could be malice in people’s sarcasm then I wouldn’t expose my naivety by asking if something was meant to be sarcastic. You see I pathologically fear people being nasty to me because it makes me wonder what horrible thing I’ve done to them to deserve it. Have I done anything horrible to you? ---
**Author:** ![Taenia\_spp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5e925/32.png) [@Taenia\_spp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taenia_spp)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/9 "2008-11-18T02:26:13Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > Have I done anything horrible to you? Yeah, you said my mother was a hamster and my father smelt of elderberries! Now get on with you, you \*cum dumpster!\*\*. \*Not a personal attack, just in the spirit of the OP. ---
**Author:** ![SuntanTigerTamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@SuntanTigerTamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SuntanTigerTamer)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/10 "2008-11-18T02:30:05Z")
I care a great deal for “motherbitchass!”… ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/11 "2008-11-18T02:54:41Z")
I like your basic old fashioned cursing, but tarted up a bit; ‘Perform fellatio on a deceased woodland creature’, instead of ‘Go blow a dead bear’. ‘Ingest excrement and expire’ That sort of thing; people find it … very disturbing. For basic low level annoyance not worth the effort, my favorite is “Go fuck yourself sideways with a dead wolverine”. Basic naming calling? It’s not very creative, but I find ‘shit-licker’ particularly offensive. I can’t use it. I’m a bit handicapped by my parents’ advice that as soon as one descends to swearing, one has lost the argument. ---
**Author:** ![dawson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@dawson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dawson)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/12 "2008-11-18T03:26:09Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > If it wasn’t for the fact that I fear there could be malice in people’s sarcasm then I wouldn’t expose my naivety by asking if something was meant to be sarcastic. > > You see I pathologically fear people being nasty to me because it makes me wonder what horrible thing I’ve done to them to deserve it. > > Have I done anything horrible to you? What’s with the grovelling?!? Pro Choice Poster Boy! or girl, as the case may be ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/13 "2008-11-18T03:31:10Z")
Stolen from Deadwood: “You undertaker-lookin’ son of a bitch!” ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/14 "2008-11-18T03:35:15Z")
I had a gym teacher who used to call us "dickhole’ when we screwed up. I don’t hear that one enough anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/15 "2008-11-18T03:37:49Z")
I like ‘assbitch’ and ‘asstard’, personally. Also ‘fucknugget’. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/16 "2008-11-18T04:00:55Z")
My personal fave is twatwaffle. I learned it here. I love the SDMB. \*\*j666 \*\*- not swearing, but I frequently say “I must get all my waterfowl in proper alignment” before I can do something. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/17 "2008-11-18T05:03:28Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > And then this thread happened. Then what happened? _You seismic douche trundler!_ Meh, that’s the best I’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/18 "2008-11-18T05:24:31Z")
I turned into a supermarket aisle just in time to hear a guy say “Yes, dear” to his wife and then turn and say, under his breath, “slutbitchcuntwhorelesbocow”. I couldn’t help but laugh, and when she gave me a funny ‘why the hell is this guy laughing?’ look I totally lost it. Personally, I prefer to make people have to _think_ in order to be insulted. Refering to someone’s ‘notable paucity of distinct ancestors’ is my favorite. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/19 "2008-11-18T06:53:01Z")
Syphilitic Assblaster! It’s the first thing that popped into my head. ---
**Author:** ![Merhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2008, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212/20 "2008-11-18T08:42:10Z")
> [@Lobsang](#): > > I like “dog-vomit slime mold” because I’m too much of a knob-gobbler to really understand the other two. You’re a knob-gobbler??? First Wanda Sykes, now you? Wow 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creative-swearing-warning-er-swearing/473212.md?page=2)