# Creepiest Commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 11, 2005, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717 "2005-10-11T04:54:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/21 "2005-10-11T15:43:17Z")
The singing belly buttons from a few years ago (advertising low-cut jeans??) were creepy. And I thought there was something kinda creepy about the battery-powered family in the Duracell (??) ads (also a few years ago). ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/22 "2005-10-11T15:50:03Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > The ones where they’re encouraging parents to take out a life insurance policy on their child. There’s some situations where reassurances of financial reimbursement could’t possibly even be a consideration, thank you very much. I gotta say, that’s so tasteless it’s hilarious! It sounds like something off a sketch comedy show. Then again I found the list detailing the payments my parents got if I got injured when I went to a private high school (for six godawful months) funny too: I believe it was 80 grand a limb and 400 grand for death, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/23 "2005-10-11T15:53:16Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > That Brawny commercial. Do the makers of Brawny want me to clean with the paper towels or masterbate with them? The cleaning up of the big, white dollop of “frosting” goes beyond suggestion. That’s the one that freaks me out. “Somebody’s been a naughty boy”, “Happy Birthday to you Mrs. Parker” Ick. That guy has psycho killer written all over him. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/24 "2005-10-11T16:05:32Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > And the “Eat Beef” Boston Market commercial. I just can’t watch that woman chowing down on a big ol’ piece of cow flesh. Yuck. I think it was _Time_ that pointed out that the lyrics of _Eat Steak_ go on to comment on how cows are chopped up and made into steak. Obviously, those lines aren’t used in the commercial. > [@Zebra](#): > > Those faces are hard and you’ll hurt your hand. Kick them in the shins and run. Why not just hit them in the groin with a baseball bat? Preferably a wooden one…kids today with their aluminum this and their George W. that… ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Wing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/51bf81/32.png) [@Little\_Wing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Wing)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/25 "2005-10-11T16:21:05Z")
> [@Honey](#): > > That’s the one that freaks me out. “Somebody’s been a naughty boy”, “Happy Birthday to you Mrs. Parker” Ick. That guy has psycho killer written all over him. If you happen to catch the full version of this commercial, at the end, as creepy guy is walking towards the camera, you’ll see him, ahhh…well, let’s just say that a cute puppy and a birthday cake isn’t the only thing Mrs. Parker will be getting. This was something that was pointed out on another message board. I had never noticed it before but now I can’t look away. ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/26 "2005-10-11T16:34:42Z")
> [@h.sapiens](#): > > The stupid talking baby on the Quizno’s commercials. A second vote for the talking Quizno’s baby. Man, he just freaks me out - especially in the one ad where he’s sitting poolside and seems to be hitting on the woman next to him. ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/27 "2005-10-11T16:36:04Z")
> [@Little Wing](#): > > If you happen to catch the full version of this commercial, at the end, as creepy guy is walking towards the camera, you’ll see him, ahhh…well, let’s just say that a cute puppy and a birthday cake isn’t the only thing Mrs. Parker will be getting. This was something that was pointed out on another message board. I had never noticed it before but now I can’t look away. I’ve seen the full version. When I see it again I’ll be looking for Mrs. Parker’s 3rd gift. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/28 "2005-10-11T16:37:08Z")
This one was so twisted that, after seeing it only once, I still remember it years later. It was a PSA for safe sex. The ad started with a young couple in their underwear, on a large spread of white sheets, kissing and clearly getting things started. Suddenly, from around the perimeter of the sheets, other men and women start crawling toward them, clearly representing their past lovers. The couple looks down, and find that there are shackles on their ankles. The shackles are connected to the ankles of their past lovers, with clear plastic tubing running between them. A red fluid starts to flow down the tubing. And, that’s pretty much the ad. “Remember, you swapped germs with all these nasty people in the past, and so did your new lover.” Pretty chilling way to deliver the message. ---
**Author:** ![Millit\_the\_Frail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Millit\_the\_Frail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Millit_the_Frail)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/29 "2005-10-11T17:03:44Z")
I don’t exactly know why, but I hate, hate, hate the [America’s Best](http://www.twopair.com) ads. The disjointed movement and giant photographic heads on tiny animated bodies thing creeps me out. They’re all grinning to beat the band, but their faces don’t actually move, they just jump from one expression to the next. Eeeee. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/30 "2005-10-11T17:17:51Z")
The little car that loved [kitties](http://media.ebaumsworld.com/sportka.wmv) and [birdies.](http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=123) ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/31 "2005-10-11T17:21:26Z")
I can’t watch the smoothie commercial. And there’s another one that I find really disturbing but I can’t remember what it is. I’m blocking it out. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/32 "2005-10-11T17:54:13Z")
> [@Little Wing](#): > > a cute puppy and a birthday cake This commercial bothers me for another reason: [Pets do not make good gifts](http://www.cyberpet.com/cyberdog/articles/lexi/cmgifts.htm), and I don’t like to see anything that encourages people to think that surprising someone with a puppy or a kitten for their birthday or Christmas is a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/33 "2005-10-11T17:55:43Z")
> [@Millit the Frail](#): > > I don’t exactly know why, but I hate, hate, hate the [America’s Best](http://www.twopair.com) ads. A-MEN! Plus there is the one where the store falls on the guy, and his legs stick out and keep “twitching.” Yeah on the smoothie commercial too. But I like Enzyte Bob, because I make a game of trying to count how many things are sticking up in the background. Subtle, I tells ya! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/34 "2005-10-11T18:25:40Z")
My two are both older: 1. A Quizno’s ad from a couple years back showing how dedicated the Quizno’s cook was to making sandwiches, to the point where he ignored everything else in his life–including his pet bird, which was shown keeling over in its cage. That one always creeped me out and made me sad thinking about how that poor bird must have suffered in the hands of this idiot. (Yeah, I know it’s just a commercial and a stunt bird–it still bothered me.) 2. Anybody else remember [Herb](http://www.tvacres.com/admascots_herb.htm)? The King wasn’t the first creepy mascot BK tried. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/35 "2005-10-11T18:27:15Z")
> [@Chanteuse](#): > > That new Bailey’s Irish Cream commercial–the woman wants that last drop of Bailey’s hanging from the bottle, but instead of just swiping it with her finger, she lays back with her mouth open wide so the bartender can pour it in (someone else catches the drop in his glass before it reaches her mouth). Yeah, yeah, I get the blow job reference, but that ain’t what I want to imagine when I’m drinking. > > (OK, giving or getting head, maybe–drinking jizz from a bottle, no thanks!) Oh, good–it’s not just me with a dirty mind. That commercial squicks me out ever time I see it! ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/36 "2005-10-11T20:18:11Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **astro** sez:_ > The little car that loved kitties and birdies. Wow. I actually regret watching that. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/37 "2005-10-11T20:25:23Z")
> [@5que](#): > > But I like Enzyte Bob, because I make a game of trying to count how many things are sticking up in the background. Subtle, I tells ya! Oh, good. I thought I was Bob’s only fan. ---
**Author:** ![priapus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ed655f/32.png) [@priapus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/priapus)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/38 "2005-10-11T20:34:32Z")
Johnny Cochran,the lawyer,died last year (I think it was last year).Anyway,his law firm inserts him into their commercials,ala, Forrest Gump.Yikes,dead man walking,indeed ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/39 "2005-10-11T20:39:52Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > The recent commercials for **Burger King** and **Quaker Oats** with those oversized, immobile plastic faces are way beyiond creepy. If I saw one of those suddenly appear in front of me, I’d instinctively punch them in the face and run. At least the Quaker Oats guy is just statue. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2005, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717/40 "2005-10-11T23:55:42Z")
I’ve actually been fascinated by the Enzyte ads ever since I noticed that “Bob”'s wife in the ads looks almost exactly like “Bob” in drag. What sort of narcissistic paramasturbatory message does _that_ send? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepiest-commercials/325717.md?page=3)