# Creepy commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817 "2005-06-25T18:17:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ashes\_Ashes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@Ashes\_Ashes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashes_Ashes)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/41 "2005-06-26T07:39:58Z")
Those Enzyte (for male enhancement!) commercials are icky. All that damned smiling. Plus it forces me to think about Bob and Bob Jr. and that’s just not something I want to do. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/42 "2005-06-26T10:16:55Z")
> [@Mirror Image egamI rorriM](#): > > Cannibalism is not funny, Dairy Queen. Are you kidding? Cannibalism is _hilarious_! Except for those lime cola commercials that feature limes drinking the lime cola and commenting on the cannibalistic nature of the act. Totally not funny, not to mention the doubtfulness that any limes died in the making of that soda. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/43 "2005-06-26T17:25:41Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > Has everyone forgotten those creepy **Ray-O-Vac** ads from about 10 years ago? It showed an _entire family_ that looked like the Burger King guy. (creepy) Wasn’t that Duracell? One commercial that freaks me out is for a Sharpie marker. It’s designed like a retractable ink pen; the gist of the commercial is that you no longer have to have both hands free to open a Sharpie. They illustrate this using a mother and a toddler; every time she tries to set the toddler down on the floor he starts wailing, but as long as she holds him he’s happy. The one shot they use of the kid crying makes him look like the spawn of Satan – his face is so horribly twisted and contorted, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that some CGI was involved. Human faces just can’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/44 "2005-06-26T18:29:05Z")
Anyone else remember the one where the sweaty basketball player starts undressing on the court, wringing out each piece of drenched clothing (including his _socks_) into a glass, and then puts the glass to his mouth to drink the sweat??? I think the line went something like “There’s a better way to replace what your body loses through excercise”. It was for one of those -ade drinks, but I swear it put me off all liquids (and solids, for that matter) everytime I saw it. Yeesh!! ---
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/45 "2005-06-26T18:37:49Z")
> [@Mirror Image egamI rorriM](#): > > Male shrimp: Mmm, check out this new popcorn from Dairy Queen. > Female shrimp: (eats) Mmmm…hey this isn’t popcorn. It’s popcorn shrimp. > Pause. > Female shrimp: Oh my god, where are the kids?! > Both shrimp: Aaaaaahhhhhh! 😃 I’ve never seen this commercial, but that’s hilarious! Digger the Dermatophyte needs to die, and I really, really want to kick Enzyte Bob in the crotch. Bet he’d stop smiling then! The King is too creepy for words–I’m going to have nightmares about that thing. I hate the Gatorade commercials, too–the colored sweat is just nasty, and I hate the one with people smashing into little bits. My vote for the creepiest commercial of all time is the Quizno’s ad with the guy who was raised by wolves–he flashes back to his wolf family, and he’s nursing from the mama wolf. Truly bizarre. They didn’t show that one very much. ---
**Author:** ![wolf\_meister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolf_meister/32/15202_2.png) [@wolf\_meister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf_meister)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/46 "2005-06-26T18:49:11Z")
**Jeep’s Phoenix** Yes I’m worng - _you are correct_ - it was **DURACELL** I imagine the commercial was so traumatic, I couldn’t (or never cared to) remember which battery company it was. It is hard to find any information and/or photos of those creepy commercials. They were supposeddly called the Putterman Family and were actually portrayed by real people in very thick, heavy latex disguises. I decided to link to one photo. (although thankfully, I couldn’t find many) This link is work safe but scores close to a perect ten on the Creep-O-Meter™ - well, we warned you: [http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/tv\_zed.jpg](http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/tv_zed.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![ltfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@ltfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ltfire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/47 "2005-06-26T18:59:13Z")
Just remembered this TV show from 2002. Baby Bob had a sitcom. [http://tv.yahoo.com/tvpdb?d=tvi&cf=0&id=1807880617](http://tv.yahoo.com/tvpdb?d=tvi&cf=0&id=1807880617) ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/48 "2005-06-26T19:08:59Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > She wakes up, looks over at the cigarette on the pillow, and suddenly grabs a shoe from beside the bed ( 😕 ) which she uses to violently smash the cigarette to pieces, scattering loose tobacco around like tiny, cured and shredded brains. > > Then she falls back on her pillow with a look of satisfaction on her face. Too bad you never saw the followup commercial…where the woman wakes up again to find her husband beaten to death with a shoe. Brought to you by Eli Lily: Don’t forget to take your anti-psychotics, folks! Not a television commercial, but there’s a series of billboard adds in the LA area by Toyota dealers with the tagline “Real Deals for Real People”, showing pictures of what are presumably the Real People to whom they are offering Real Deals. Most of them look okay (although they all have the “deer in the headlights” look about them) but there’s one that really creeps me out; it’s this kid with spiky hair and no neck, grinning like he just got a cocaine enema. Actually, I believe it’s just a mask for some alien being who is part of the scout mission for a massive invasion. But then, I have a pretty active imagination. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Lisa-go-Blind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Lisa-go-Blind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lisa-go-Blind)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/49 "2005-06-26T20:38:36Z")
The little girl shouting “I’ve got a Splenda Daddy!” sort of creeps me out. And I suppose I’m the only person who finds the Burger King commericals with the Burger King completely hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/50 "2005-06-26T21:14:04Z")
> [@ltfire](#): > > Baby Bob had a sitcom. Bob was originally the mascot for the now defunct online service [FreeInternet.com](http://FreeInternet.com) (His catchphrase was “have a wonderful day”), then starred in a CBS sitcom before becoming Quiznos’s spokesperson. Pretty big career for a talking baby. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/51 "2005-06-26T21:14:42Z")
There’s a battery commercial where a little girl sings the words, “coming home.” I think it’s “coming home” because she cannot be saying what it _sounds_ like she’s saying. “Glory hole! Glory hole!” And she looks like such a sweet child too. ---
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/52 "2005-06-26T21:21:10Z")
> [@Wolfian](#): > > In **I Hated, Hated, Hated, Hated This Movie** Roger Ebert says something similar. Babies acting like babies= cute. Babies acting/talking/etc. like adults= creepy. I think it was his review for Baby Geniuses. > [@Roger Ebert](#): > > Every time the babies talk to one another, something weird happens to make it look their lips are in synch (think of talking frogs in TV commercials). And when the babies do things that babies don’t do (hurl adults into the air, for example), we lose all track of the story while trying to spot the visual trick…[_Baby Geniuses_] proves something I’ve long suspected: Babies are cute only when they’re being babies. When they’re presented as miniature adults…there is something so fundamentally _wrong_ that our human instincts cry out in protest. ©2000 Roger Ebert **Biggirl** , the lyric is “Going home.” From the _New World Symphony_ by Dvorak. ---
**Author:** ![marque\_elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71c47a/32.png) [@marque\_elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marque_elf)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/53 "2005-06-26T22:49:16Z")
> [@mobo85](#): > > **Biggirl** , the lyric is “Going home.” From the _New World Symphony_ by Dvorak. Not that anybody asked me but the commercials for that sugarless gum where an annoying washed out blonde dressed in a Carnaby Street vintage outfit watches people get covered in filth and then gets them to smile. She then smiles and says “Fabulous.” I don’t think dirt and gum chewing go all that well together and everything about that woman, especially her voice and pommy accent, sets my teeth on edge. She is the human equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard for me. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/54 "2005-06-26T23:03:12Z")
> [@Mirror Image egamI rorriM](#): > > Cannibalism is not funny, Dairy Queen. > [@Otto](#): > > Are you kidding? Cannibalism is _hilarious_! Except for those lime cola commercials that feature limes drinking the lime cola and commenting on the cannibalistic nature of the act. Totally not funny, not to mention the doubtfulness that any limes died in the making of that soda. What DQ did wasn’t really that original. A few years back, there was an m&ms commercial featuring Patrick Warburton that showed large CG chocolate, peanut, and crispy m&ms eating, respectively, bags of chocolate, peanut, and crispy m&ms until they’re told by Warburton they “shouldn’t eat their own kind.” The large m&ms then switch bags only to have them confiscated by Warburton who shudders at how disturbing the whole scene is. ---
**Author:** ![Khan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3ab097/32.png) [@Khan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khan)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2005, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/55 "2005-06-26T23:06:55Z")
> [@wolf\_meister](#): > > **Jeep’s Phoenix** > Yes I’m worng - _you are correct_ - it was **DURACELL** > I imagine the commercial was so traumatic, I couldn’t (or never cared to) remember which battery company it was. > It is hard to find any information and/or photos of those creepy commercials. > They were supposeddly called the Putterman Family and were actually portrayed by real people in very thick, heavy latex disguises. > I decided to link to one photo. (although thankfully, I couldn’t find many) > This link is work safe but scores close to a perect ten on the Creep-O-Meter™ - well, we warned you: > [http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/tv\_zed.jpg](http://www.podster.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fotos/tv_zed.jpg) Primus used the same technique in their video for Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver. I thought it was CGI until I saw a “making of” documentary for the video. None of the commercials mentioned so far freak me out. That Burger King isn’t funny per se, but it always elicits a chuckle. Those spongmonkeys only made me want to smash the TV. What I always find disturbing are commercials where a mascot also happens to be whatever it’s trying to sell. Take Charlie the Tuna: he’s telling us to feast on his own kind. It strikes me as rather ghoulish. Is he selling out his neighbors to save himself? Does he take some kind of Hannibal-style satisfaction from seeing members of his species shredded, mixed with mayonnaise, and served to their predators between two slices of rye? Every time I see such an ad I think, “you murderous traitor.” ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/56 "2005-06-27T00:08:48Z")
I used to love Raisin Brand Crunch cereal. Ate it almost every morning. Until I saw that disgusting commercial where the guy puts it into a blender and then _drinks_ it. Gaah. I haven’t eaten it since. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/57 "2005-06-27T00:18:33Z")
> [@marque elf](#): > > everything about that woman, especially her voice and pommy accent, sets my teeth on edge. She is the human equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard for me. :dubious: Dude, she’s hot. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/58 "2005-06-27T00:29:36Z")
Did I miss something? Because I cannot _believe_ the thread has gotten this far without someone mentioning that ghastly Mucinex commercial. Creepy _and_ disgusting in one shot! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/59 "2005-06-27T01:14:10Z")
> [@Greywolf73](#): > > I used to love Raisin Brand Crunch cereal. Ate it almost every morning. > > Until I saw that disgusting commercial where the guy puts it into a blender and then _drinks_ it. > > Gaah. I haven’t eaten it since. Speaking of which, what about the commercial for Total where the guy puts a fish in the blender, plus a lot of other nasty crap, and drinks it down afterwards? That has literally made me vomit before. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/60 "2005-06-27T01:48:01Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > Speaking of which, what about the commercial for Total where the guy puts a fish in the blender, plus a lot of other nasty crap, and drinks it down afterwards? That has literally made me vomit before. I thought that was for orange juice. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817.md?page=4)