# Creepy commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 25, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817 "2005-06-25T18:17:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/61 "2005-06-27T02:01:53Z")
> [@RandMcnally](#): > > Dude, she’s hot. Yeah, I’d like to find out just how dirty her mouth is…oops! Was that out loud? As bad the Enzyte people are the moms and kids in those Ovaltine commercials, with their enthusiasm turned up to 11. What’s in that stuff, meth? ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/62 "2005-06-27T02:08:22Z")
I believe it was the history channel. My memory is a little fuzzy, so it may not have been the history channel. The main point, however, is true and I remember it sparkliingly cleart. Let me just set the stage for y’all… Patriotic music is playing. American flags flash over a white background. It’s all very patriotic and passionate. Then comes the ‘creepy’ part. Narrator: The History Channel’s new series is all about finding the greatest American. Will it be Abraham Lincoln (flashes a picture of Lincoln)? Maybe Albert Einstein (This time a picture of Einstein)? Or how about Benjamin Franklin (you know the drill)? Join the History Channel as we find out who is the greatest American."\* Now, weird enough. I mean, obviously there is no ‘greatest American.’ But that’s not the problem. In fact, I like list shows. The problem is Albert Einstein is not an American!. I later saw a different version of this commercial, where Einstein was omitted. \*Liberties (haha, get it? Liberties? America!? Hahaha!) have been taken with some of the details of this commercial. ---
**Author:** ![RitzyRae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/aca169/32.png) [@RitzyRae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RitzyRae)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/63 "2005-06-27T02:16:12Z")
there’s a commercial that starts out “Don’t you hate it when your [menstrual] pad gets all wet and sticky?” Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![ZebraShaSha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/eada6e/32.png) [@ZebraShaSha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZebraShaSha)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/64 "2005-06-27T02:28:50Z")
> [@Sunshine and Smiles](#): > > I believe it was the history channel. My memory is a little fuzzy, so it may not have been the history channel. The main point, however, is true and I remember it sparkliingly cleart. Let me just set the stage for y’all… > > Patriotic music is playing. American flags flash over a white background. It’s all very patriotic and passionate. Then comes the ‘creepy’ part. > > Narrator: The History Channel’s new series is all about finding the greatest American. Will it be Abraham Lincoln (flashes a picture of Lincoln)? Maybe Albert Einstein (This time a picture of Einstein)? Or how about Benjamin Franklin (you know the drill)? Join the History Channel as we find out who is the greatest American."\* > > Now, weird enough. I mean, obviously there is no ‘greatest American.’ But that’s not the problem. In fact, I like list shows. The problem is Albert Einstein is not an American!. I later saw a different version of this commercial, where Einstein was omitted. > \*Liberties (haha, get it? Liberties? America!? Hahaha!) have been taken with some of the details of this commercial. Actually, he was an American citizen. (This was discussed here recently) If you had watched the Discovery Channel more, you would know that doesn’t even come close to the creepiest form of “The Greatest American” - even when considering Albert to be non-American. There is one form that has Oprah, George Bush, Bill Gates, and Thomas Edison all on the same one. I think. Regardless, it was one really important figure, George, and 2 iconic pop culture ones. I shouldn’t really get anymore into it, though, but there you have it. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/65 "2005-06-27T02:32:47Z")
**Wolf\_meister** , I had managed to forget about their faces…the only thing I could remember were the huge Duracells where their spines should have been. :shudder: > [@Chanteuse](#): > > Did I miss something? Because I cannot _believe_ the thread has gotten this far without someone mentioning that ghastly Mucinex commercial. Creepy _and_ disgusting in one shot! > > :eek: He leaves little snot footprints when he walks off! :o \<—(puke smiley) I do like how the commercial insinuates that the guy had to hock a big loogie though. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/66 "2005-06-27T02:43:09Z")
> [@MagicEyes](#): > > My vote for the creepiest commercial of all time is the Quizno’s ad with the guy who was raised by wolves–he flashes back to his wolf family, and he’s nursing from the mama wolf. Truly bizarre. They didn’t show that one very much. Oh, thank heavens! I thought I was alone in this one! Although it gave me a laugh, there was something truly disturbing about the image of that skinny-assed dude, writhing on the ground with his arms at this sides, fighting his litter-mates for a teat – dressed in khakis and a short-sleeved button-down. I only saw it on Cartoon Network, after 10 pm. For those that didn’t catch it, two guys are eating lunch on a park bench. One is eating a Quizno’s sub, the other a generic sub. The first asks, “Ugh! How can you eat that processed crap? What, were you raised by wolves?” The second replies, real smarmily, “As a matter of fact, yes – yes, I was!” And then the flash back… to what was probably that morning. And the word “crap” was indeed used. ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/67 "2005-06-27T03:07:52Z")
> [@](#): > > There was a jeans ad a while back (for Levis, I think, but maybe it was Lee) in which a guy swiped a pair of jeans from a store mannequin and the mannequin proceeded to follow him all over the place to the accompaniment of a song that was distinctly creepy in that context. (It had the words “I put a spell on you”; unfortunately, I don’t know what it’s called or who performed it.) The commercial closed with the image of the shadow of the mannequin standing over the sleeping jeans-buyer on a stormy night. One of my favorite commercials of all time. CCR does the song. Totally awesome juxtaposition of image and music. > [@](#): > > “Don’t you hate it when your [menstrual] pad gets all wet and sticky?” This is the commercial that I came here to mention. IIRC, a short, perky female interviewer approaches random shoppers in the grocery store, asking, “Can I ask you a question?” “Sure.” “Does your maxi pad get wet and sticky?” At which point any sane shopper would say, “Do you think I’m going to discuss this with you on camera? Get the f\*ck away from me, you sick freak!” But they don’t. They discuss their wet sticky pads with her on camera. Yuck. ---
**Author:** ![PapSett](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@PapSett](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PapSett)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/68 "2005-06-27T03:48:30Z")
A lot of the commercials you guys brought up give me the eebie-jeebies , especially the plastic Burger King and the Gatorade colored sweat . My own original contribution is the Kibbles N Bits with the CGI dogs singing and dancing about their food , with the weird maniacal expressions on their faces . Now , personally , if my dogs started standing up on their hind legs and bending in ways dogs were never intended to bend because of their food , I would run, not walk out of the house never to return . But that’s just me . ---
**Author:** ![pasunejen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/58956e/32.png) [@pasunejen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pasunejen)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/69 "2005-06-27T03:53:11Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > One of my favorite commercials of all time. CCR does the song. Totally awesome juxtaposition of image and music. Yeah, I actually loved the commercial in terms of its artistic value. It’s just that I could never avoid being freaked out by it. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/70 "2005-06-27T03:57:51Z")
I can’t believe no one mentioned the guy in the (I think) Brawny ad who is making a cake and wiping up frosting and cleaning the dog’s nose, with a really nasty voice-over; makes my skin crawl! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/71 "2005-06-27T03:58:43Z")
Two that creeped me out that nobody’s mentioned yet: 1. Another one for Quizno’s, featuring the chef who was so obsessed with making subs that he forgot about everything else in his life–including his pet canary, which was shown dead in its cage. I thought that one was pretty tacky. 2. A recent one for some kind of sports drink where they show actual footage of a marathoner or triathlete or something who was unable to finish a race–they show him staggering around like he’s about to keel over dead. Very skeevy. ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/72 "2005-06-27T04:13:29Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > This is the commercial that I came here to mention. IIRC, a short, perky female interviewer approaches random shoppers in the grocery store, asking, “Can I ask you a question?” > > “Sure.” > > “Does your maxi pad get wet and sticky?” > > At which point any sane shopper would say, “Do you think I’m going to discuss this with you on camera? Get the f\*ck away from me, you sick freak!” But they don’t. They discuss their wet sticky pads with her on camera. Yuck. What gaks me about that one is she takes the pad and hits it against her shoulder to show how dry it stays. For some reason, that freaks me out. And one I saw today for the first time - one of those commercials that asks why you should have to wait for your rewards from your credit card. I didn’t think the ones before were that great, but this one ooked me. It shows a woman making a smoothie for her husband - but since they didn’t have the blender that they would have gotten with their rewards points, the wife makes it by putting the fruit - in the garbage disposal. Ewwww. Susan ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/73 "2005-06-27T04:15:08Z")
There was an ad for Prilosec a while ago that depicted a cuddly animated stomach, with cuddly animated fountains of acid gently gushing forth. After the stomach took a Prilosec pill, the stomach got extra super cuddly and settled down for a cute nap. Thanks to that heartburning commercial, I use Tagamet. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/74 "2005-06-27T04:24:55Z")
Attractive woman on TV: I have herpes. Me and my housemates: GAH! The commerical (for herpes medicine) blindsides you. No lead-in or anything like that. Just herpes. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/75 "2005-06-27T05:11:27Z")
> [@Glassy](#): > > One of my favorite commercials of all time. CCR does the song. Totally awesome juxtaposition of image and music. > > This is the commercial that I came here to mention. IIRC, a short, perky female interviewer approaches random shoppers in the grocery store, asking, “Can I ask you a question?” > > “Sure.” > > “Does your maxi pad get wet and sticky?” > > At which point any sane shopper would say, “Do you think I’m going to discuss this with you on camera? Get the f\*ck away from me, you sick freak!” But they don’t. They discuss their wet sticky pads with her on camera. Yuck. First thing I thought of was this scene: _Homer and Abe set up a stand at the Springfield Mall._ Homer _[walking up to man at the mall]:_ Sir! Uh, hello sir! Yes, you look like a man who needs help satisfying his wife. So – _[Man slugs him in the face]_ Even though the exchange in the commercial was between two women, I still think what you suggested would be one of the milder responses someone like that would get. ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/76 "2005-06-27T14:55:44Z")
I used to be creeped out by the Burger King Plastic Head ads until they got Hootie/Darius/Whoever stoned out of his mind to do a commercial for them. Now the newer ones seem so sad… But the one I’ve found tasteless was for the Saturn Vue: Four guys camping in the woods when, at the sound of _Dueling Banjos_ they hurredly tear down camp and speed off. Considering how few SUVs ever go off-road it seems a little silly to advertise your product for escaping from rural Romeos. ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/77 "2005-06-27T14:58:18Z")
> [@PapSett](#): > > My own original contribution is the Kibbles N Bits with the CGI dogs singing and dancing about their food , with the weird maniacal expressions on their faces . > > Now , personally , if my dogs started standing up on their hind legs and bending in ways dogs were never intended to bend because of their food , I would run, not walk out of the house never to return . > > But that’s just me . And one of those dogs is an Australian Shepherd (like my dogs.) For some reason, that makes it worse for me. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/78 "2005-06-27T15:21:33Z")
Wasn’t the Six Flags dancing guy just convicted for killing those civil rights activists in the 60’s? ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/79 "2005-06-27T15:28:28Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > I cannot even hear the words “Digger the Demataphyte” without shuddering. God, my toenails are feeling squinchy just writing it. That’s exactly the commercial I was going to mention when I saw the thread title. I’m feeling a little whoozy just thinking about it. ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817/80 "2005-06-27T15:44:42Z")
What about the Pepto-Bismal commercial featuring people doing a Macarena-style dance to illustrate Pepto’s affects? We get what it does-you don’t need to grab your ass to illustrate diarrhea. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-commercials/309817.md?page=5)