# "Creepy men" at Walmart **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 27, 2019, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160 "2019-06-27T15:37:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/41 "2019-06-27T18:28:24Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I often wonder if men like the two fine Drs in this thread have wives, daughters, nieces or actually know any women at all who have come home and told them of the kinds of incidents described in this thread and still can’t stretch their empathy and understanding far enough to appreciate why some women would post hyperbolic rants at the very real risk of sending these two fine and obviously sensitive souls running to their safe spaces… I do. And that’s why I am against bad memes that give bad & unsafe advice. And there’s nothing about “running to my safe space”. It’s that \*\*it is bad fucking, unsafe advice that will get women into trouble and not help them be safe. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/42 "2019-06-27T18:30:20Z")
Right. And we’re just saying, please stop dispensing it. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/43 "2019-06-27T18:31:21Z")
That’s odd. I saw Robert Resslear, then head of the FBI serial killers unit on Oprah, and one of his words of professional advice was “Trust your instincts.” If something seems creepy, go with your feelings." How many women have taken this bit of advice and NOT been a serial rapist or killers victims. ann Rule got thousands of letters in her lifetime from women who thought they had gotten away from Ted Bundy because “he seemed creepy.” And ladies, if you say “no” and a man tries to turn it into a “yes” run like hell or beat the snot out of him. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/44 "2019-06-27T18:34:33Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > Are y’all reading the stories **Kimstu** is posting? > > Look, I’ll be the first to condemn any woman who starts in on the green bean throwing afterunfairly maligning a guy as a creep at Walmart. But until that happens, I don’t have any problems with telling woman to defend herself if a guy does shit like pinch her ass in the check out line after doggedly pursuing her in the store. FFS, the last thing a woman in this situation needs is to second guess the fear she’s feeling when she’s actually in danger. Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just _looked creepy._ Apples and oranges. And indeed, up there I said “If a man grabs some ass, he deserves a hatpin and some time in jail.” Sexual assault deserves defending yourself- even violently, and calling the police. Thinking some guy "_looks creepy" does not. Do we judge people on their appearances or their behavior? Haven’t you said that before,_ you with the face\*\*? Are we now going to judge someone based upon their _appearance_? \*\*It is Ok now, to violently attack someone whose mere appearance you dont like? \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/45 "2019-06-27T18:37:00Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > NOTHING at all, \*nothing whatsoever \*in the meme indicated anything other thna “being creepy”. Well, it’s up to you to decide individually whether you think the person who wrote that meme, and the people who are liking and sharing it, interpreted “being creepy” more like _“unmistakably intimidating, lewd and/or criminal behavior”_, or more like _“perfectly normal unthreatening behavior on the part of an awkward unattractive man because of course all of us ladies concur that awkward unattractive men should be immediately stigmatized as creeps no matter what they’re doing or not doing, and probably hit with cans of green beans too just to be on the safe side”_. But your individual choice of interpretation does not obligate anybody else to agree that you’re interpreting the meme, or the popular reaction to the meme, correctly. > [@DrDeth](#): > > So you can bring in these horror stories- but they have nothing whatsoever to do with the advice given to assault a guy for merely being creepy. Unless, of course, the people giving and reacting to that advice **do** associate the concept of “being creepy” with precisely such “horror stories”. In which case, “these horror stories” **would** in fact have quite a lot to do with that advice. > [@DrDeth](#): > > And I will tell you ladies- that your “creepy radar” is pretty damn worthless. I had to read thru a bunch of fBI cases studies about pedophiles (horrible, nauseating stuff), and in every single case the Mom was quoted as saying that the kiddie rapist “seemed like such a nice man” , never, ever “well, I thought he was creepy from the moment I saw him”. Pedophiles dont _act_ or\* look\* creepy, they\* are \*creepy. Logical fallacy of the converse. Just because women are often wrong when they think a guy’s **not** being creepy doesn’t automatically imply that they’re equally likely to be wrong when they think a guy **is** being creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/46 "2019-06-27T18:37:04Z")
Violently attack them? No! Tell them to get away from you and if they put up an argument, scream at them? You betcha. ETA: you know, the guy who came out of the gas station with a full tank of something and started pouring fluid on the ground could have been totally innocent. It could have been water. Maybe I shouldn’t have called 911, knowing the fire department was right up the block and would come in about a minute, which they did. And I shouldn’t have taken the next bus out of there. Yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/47 "2019-06-27T18:37:35Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > In a world where women are indeed treated like prey, fear is a gift. > > Asking a woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance is beyond ridiculous. Women don’t confront men they can easily escape from, it’s too often life threatening. You can certainly \*\* escape \*\*if you feel threatened. But you can’t **assault** someone based upon their appearance. No one is asking " woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance ". You can certainly leave if it makes you uncomfortable. What you _can’t_ do is _“choke him out with a belt”_ just because of his appearance. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/48 "2019-06-27T18:38:18Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just _looked creepy._ Apples and oranges. > > And indeed, up there I said “If a man grabs some ass, he deserves a hatpin and some time in jail.” > > Sexual assault deserves defending yourself- even violently, and calling the police. > > Thinking some guy "_looks creepy" does not. Do we judge people on their appearances or their behavior? Haven’t you said that before,_ you with the face\*\*? > > Are we now going to judge someone based upon their _appearance_? \*\*It is Ok now, to violently attack someone whose mere appearance you dont like? \*\* Did someone really get beaten up for looking creepy? Or is this all hypothetical? That it might happen at some point in the future? If so, yeah, I’m outraged!! We should start a campaign against hypothetically beating up a guy because he looks creepy. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/49 "2019-06-27T18:42:21Z")
> [@wguy123](#): > > Did someone really get beaten up for looking creepy? Or is this all hypothetical? That it might happen at some point in the future? If so, yeah, I’m outraged!! We should start a campaign against hypothetically beating up a guy because he looks creepy. No, but that was suggested as the proper action(s) to take. I mean, you read the Op right? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/50 "2019-06-27T18:45:02Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just _looked creepy._ Where does it say that? Are we talking about this same meme that I quoted earlier? > [@](#): > > It I see one more “I was followed at such n such Walmart by some creepy dude", I swear I‘m going to lose my shit. If yall women dont learn how to turn around in aisle 13 and ask a mf what his problem is,. Call the police while in the store. All this “I went up to an associate. I spoke to a manager.“ Tf. They dont get hazard pay for that mess. Go grab a can of green beans and smack the dude in the face. Spray him in the eyes with some cooking spray. Choke him with a belt from the accessory aisle. Anything. SOMETHING. Then post that. Yall act like you’re helpless. WE’RE NOT HELPLESS.” #repost I mean I carry, but even if you don’t, you got a whole store of weapons at your disposal. Better beep bop, meep mop the floor with that man. The meme is explicitly about being **“followed at a Walmart by some creepy dude”**. You seem to be insisting that what the author and sharers of the meme meant by that phrase is simply **“seeing some dude in a Walmart who looks creepy”**. But you have no authority to make that call. Of course you can argue that you think the author of the meme should have been more specific about the particular type(s) of creepy behavior that she thinks justify physical assault. But you are talking out of your ass when you try to declare categorically that what she actually **meant** was merely “looking creepy”. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/51 "2019-06-27T18:45:29Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > You can certainly \*\* escape \*\*if you feel threatened. But you can’t **assault** someone based upon their appearance. > > No one is asking " woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance ". You can certainly leave if it makes you uncomfortable. What you _can’t_ do is _“choke him out with a belt”_ just because of his appearance. ^^ IANAL, but I am pretty sure the only time violence is legally allowed in self-defense is 1) if violence is committed by perp or 2) violence is imminent. Someone looking creepy doesn’t count. ---
**Author:** ![wguy123](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wguy123/32/3161_2.png) [@wguy123](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wguy123)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/52 "2019-06-27T18:46:18Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No, but that was suggested as the proper action(s) to take. I mean, you read the Op right? :rolleyes: Glad to hear that no “creepy” looking guy has been beaten up due to some random person writing that suggestion on the internet! We really dodged a bullet there. ---
**Author:** ![snoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@snoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snoe)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/53 "2019-06-27T18:47:06Z")
The OP is a complaint about comments by some people on a viral social media item that the OP wouldn’t link to. I’m at a loss about what kind of responses the OP thought they’d get. I am all for not using grocery items to attack people at WalMart for merely being creepy, but as I understand it that didn’t happen in the case of the viral social media item. This might be a topic worth discussing, but I don’t see how this post, as written, leads to that. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/54 "2019-06-27T18:50:00Z")
> [@snoe](#): > > The OP is a complaint about comments by some people on a viral social media item that the OP wouldn’t link to. I’m at a loss about what kind of responses the OP thought they’d get. … > > This might be a topic worth discussing, but I don’t see how this post, as written, leads to that. I explained that I didnt want to give out the name of a non celebrity/politician, it’s just not ethical. Apparently you dont hold to the same code of ethics. However, later, a link was given by another poster and you can read in full. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/55 "2019-06-27T18:50:10Z")
> [@snoe](#): > > I am all for not using grocery items to attack people at WalMart for merely being creepy Well, that depends on what the phrase “being creepy” actually means. Nowhere in the meme that the OP is complaining about does it claim that merely “looking creepy” is a justification for physically attacking someone. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/56 "2019-06-27T18:55:28Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > No, but that was suggested as the proper action(s) to take. I mean, you read the Op right? :rolleyes: The OP with the most charitable possible interpretation of the ‘creepy guy’ and the worst interpretation of the women :rolleyes:? Literally no one is suggesting assaulting an innocent stranger for looking a bit weird. They’re encouraging women to call out and stand up to actual creepy threatening behaviour. Which is not rare. Notice how many of those stories **Kimstu** has posted feature women doing their utmost to give the creeps benefit of the doubt? Women already tend to do that, actual creepy guys count on that, so we really don’t need you doing it on our behalf, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/57 "2019-06-27T18:59:42Z")
[It’s not that hard to make a fake facebook post, either.](https://i.imgur.com/Oa6UooC.png) ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/58 "2019-06-27T19:00:25Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Where does it say that? Are we talking about this same meme that I quoted earlier? > The meme is explicitly about being **“followed at a Walmart by some creepy dude”**. You seem to be insisting that what the author and sharers of the meme meant by that phrase is simply **“seeing some dude in a Walmart who looks creepy”**. But you have no authority to make that call. > > Of course you can argue that you think the author of the meme should have been more specific about the particular type(s) of creepy behavior that she thinks justify physical assault. But you are talking out of your ass when you try to declare categorically that what she actually **meant** was merely “looking creepy”. Being followed in a store, where there are aisles, where you go up and down? Again, not a crime. Neither is “looking creepy” . Hell, I “follow” other shoppers all the time, then. Nor should anyone shoot that black kid as he “looked suspicious”. Or do you think that’s OK, then? if we add in some unrelated horror stories about bad deeds done by black guys, it’s then ok to gun some other perfectly innocent black kid down? Because that’s really what you are suggesting here. I am saying “dont shoot that black kid for 'looking suspicious”, and then you are bringing in a whole slew of horror stories that have \*absolutely nothing whatsoever \*to do with that black kid looking suspicious, and then saying, based upon those unrelated horror stories, it’s Ok to gun that kid down. In context, using “suspicious black youth” instead of “creepy dude” kinda makes the point clear. Judge people by THEIR actions. Not by how they look. Not by other peoples actions. Dont resort to violence until their ACTIONs make it necessary. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/59 "2019-06-27T19:03:05Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Well, that depends on what the phrase “being creepy” actually means. Nowhere in the meme that the OP is complaining about does it claim that merely “looking creepy” is a justification for physically attacking someone. Yes, that’s exactly what it does. It never alleges illegal assaults by the “creep”. It mentions looking creepy and “following around in the store”. And it sez that those are justification for choking a man out with a belt. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2019, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160/60 "2019-06-27T19:06:59Z")
> [@Velocity](#): > > ^^ > > IANAL, but I am pretty sure the only time violence is legally allowed in self-defense is 1) if violence is committed by perp or 2) violence is imminent. > > Someone looking creepy doesn’t count. This is such a bizarre phenomenon. **DrDeth** has entirely made up the idea that anyone is just looking creepy and getting beat up for it. He is making it up. It is not anything that has happened. It is not something anyone has said they support. It is something that several people have specifically said they obviously do not support, because of how stupid it is. You and he just keep pounding that drum. Stories about a guy following a woman around and masturbating, and following a woman around and touching himself and then grabbing her ass, which have been brought up as examples of the kinds of things the obviously hyperbolic meme villain (that **DrDeth** was I guess referring to) was in response to, are not examples of someone just “looking creepy.” And they seem to be the only actual example of a real thing someone has talked about. And if someone follows you around masturbating and then puts his hands on your ass, guess what, it’s reasonable to assume that violence is imminent, because it’s already happening. And if it’s reasonable to assume that violence is imminent, then… ? So what we’re left with, I suppose, is the general cautionary tale that it isn’t a good idea to literally perform cartoon violence and mayhem upon a person in Walmart if they’re masturbating super close to you but not actually menacing you, because you probably won’t get away with self defense for your outlandish act of violence that nobody has ever done before. Is that a good point? I have a hard time telling anymore. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-men-at-walmart/836160.md?page=4)