# Creepy or not? Waiter getting someone a date. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 12, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933 "2012-06-12T18:16:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/101 "2012-06-18T20:23:05Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > Rape jokes? Really? NO! And I’d like an apology. It was an abduction joke. No mention of rape. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/102 "2012-06-18T20:44:42Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > But of course! You’re at the SDMB where rape jokes are always HILARIOUS! I wouldn’t say _always_, but then I wouldn’t say _never_. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/103 "2012-06-18T20:49:35Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > Pretty damn well. He’s really psyched up on this. Today he brought it up again. He’s ready to give her my phone number the next time he sees her; I had to talk him down. I told him that if I see her again and am in the mood, I might talk to her. He is not at all satisfied by this course of action. He really wants to see this thing happen. I guess that beats the alternative. If that guy waited tables where I ate, I’d find a new restaurant. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/104 "2012-06-18T21:42:31Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I wouldn’t say _always_, but then I wouldn’t say _never_. For the last time, it wasn’t a rape joke. I would never, NEVER make a rape joke. Abduction jokes, now them I find funny as all fuck. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/105 "2012-06-18T21:45:07Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > For the last time, it wasn’t a rape joke. I would never, NEVER make a rape joke. > > Abduction jokes, now them I find funny as all fuck. This is true, I didn’t see \*\*kayaker \*\*mention handshaking at ALL in his post. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/106 "2012-06-18T21:48:30Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > For the last time, it wasn’t a rape joke. I would never, NEVER make a rape joke. Okay, okay, I _consent_ already! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/107 "2012-06-18T22:18:55Z")
Seriously. Creepy come on leading to abduction joke = funny (ok, ymmv). But rape? Rape is seldom funny. Seldom. Rarely. Maybe even never. I do not endorse rape. Abduction? Sure. ETA: we cool, **hermette**? ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2012, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/108 "2012-06-18T22:52:04Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I wouldn’t say _always_, but then I wouldn’t say _never_. Well thank goodness you weighed in to let me know. ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/109 "2012-06-19T00:50:00Z")
No, no, you don’t get it. It’s stupid, _and_ you don’t like it! Joke! ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/110 "2012-06-19T02:46:31Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > NO! And I’d like an apology. It was an abduction joke. No mention of rape. Well, mine _did_ imply murder. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/111 "2012-06-19T10:18:24Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Seriously. Creepy come on leading to abduction joke = funny (ok, ymmv). > But rape? Rape is seldom funny. Seldom. Rarely. Maybe even never. I do not endorse rape. Abduction? Sure. > > ETA: we cool, **hermette**? We cool bro’ 🙂 But from a feminist point of view, why would someone be abducting a lady they were sexually attracted to, without rapey-thoughts? Or would the hypothetical someone be assuming the lady would be wooed by his manly white van 😉 Edit - oh, I just noticed post 101. You still after that apology? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2012, 10:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/112 "2012-06-19T10:33:14Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > . . .why would someone be abducting a lady they were sexually attracted to, without rapey-thoughts? I just reread the OP. He said she was “cute” and “dining alone”. No where did he mention sexual attraction! As far as the OP’s thoughts are concerned, [“rapey” is not a word recognized in Scrabble.](http://www.anagrammer.com/scrabble/rapey)😉 ETA: apology accepted. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [June 20, 2012, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/113 "2012-06-20T18:11:52Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > Which one is going to make your feel more special? I know that I’m special, just like every other person is special in some way. Which one is going to make you want to learn more about them? Which one seems more interesting to spend time with? Why would whether or not they made me feel special have anything to do with whether I would want to go out with them? And why would I feel that the person was interesting when they are just making me talk about myself? I honestly think it’s one of those things where women and men just think differently. Or at least I think differently than you: I don’t care whether you think I’m special, and really don’t understand why I should. And interesting means you telling me stuff I don’t know, not you being fascinated by what I say. The main reason I would respond badly to a compliment is that I just have a hard time believing that the woman actually means it. I know what I look like, and, say, “sexy” is not it. If I were sexy, than telling me that wouldn’t bother me at all. ---
**Author:** ![BlakeTyner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@BlakeTyner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlakeTyner)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/114 "2013-04-11T00:09:46Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > [Rhubarbarin](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/85503.html) Eh… I suppose it depends on the pool of competition, no? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/115 "2013-04-11T00:16:09Z")
> [@StusBlues](#): > > There is a nice little Thai place where I often go for lunch. The other day I noticed this very cute woman dining alone. I know the head waiter very well, and was going to ask him if he knew her (since he knows a majority of the people who eat there), but didn’t get the chance. I brought it up to him in passing today, and he said that next time I could pay for her meal and he would give her my phone number. > > I’ve heard of folks doing stuff like this, but it seems a little off to me. What do you all think? Is it straight up creepy, is it innocuous but ineffective (i.e., no woman would ever call a guy under those circumstances even if she wasn’t exactly freaked), or is it a sweet idea? I’d say do it. But at least be there when it happens. Otherwise, you don’t even get to introduce yourself and I doubt she’ll take the initiative to follow up on it. Oh, and money talks. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/116 "2013-04-11T00:22:15Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > I’d say do it. But at least be there when it happens. Otherwise, you don’t even get to introduce yourself and I doubt she’ll take the initiative to follow up on it. > > Oh, and money talks. Your advice to offer a wad of bills to the woman in exchange for a sexual romance is top shelf, of course. Unfortunately, both the original poster and the object of his affection perished suddenly in a freak Dungeness crab swarm three months ago. It was both tragic and delicious. God rest ye, merry gentleman (and woman). May they get their bone on in heaven (after the appropriate cash exchange, of course). ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/117 "2013-04-11T00:27:31Z")
It’s equivalent to buying a drink at a bar, not soliciting her for sex. Lighten up, please. ETA: I haven’t read the thread. Looks like there’s drama. I’m responding only to the OP. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/118 "2013-04-11T00:29:39Z")
> [@panaccione](#): > > It’s equivalent to buying a drink at a bar, not soliciting her for sex. Lighten up, please. God, you’re right. Why am I always so _serious_ all of the time. Thank you for showing me the way. I honor you and I cherish our friendship. ---
**Author:** ![BlakeTyner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@BlakeTyner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlakeTyner)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/119 "2013-04-11T00:30:56Z")
> [@colander](#): > > God, you’re right. Why am I always so _serious_ all of the time. Do you wanna know how I got these scars? ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 11, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933/120 "2013-04-11T00:36:24Z")
> [@colander](#): > > God, you’re right. Why am I always so _serious_ all of the time. > > Thank you for showing me the way. I honor you and I cherish our friendship. Got you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-or-not-waiter-getting-someone-a-date/624933.md?page=7)