# Creepy pest control guy - do I complain? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 14, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473 "2011-06-14T19:40:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/41 "2011-06-15T13:23:14Z")
> [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](#): > > Orkin is supposed to get rid of pests, not send them on house calls. Aaaaaand **Bam Boo Gut** wins the thread. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/42 "2011-06-15T13:34:11Z")
> [@palacheck](#): > > Iā€™ve met a lot of female assholes too ya know. Itā€™s not like enrolling a clueless asshole like that in Being Polite to Women **101** is going to change his behavior. Some people revel in their ugly personalities. Absolutelyā€“but this is a particular type of ugliness thatā€™s directed particularly against women, and itā€™s totally appropriate to call him on it. If heā€™d perceived EmAnJ to be black and had made some comment like, ā€œListen, Sambo, if youā€™re not here in 5 minutes Iā€™m leaving,ā€ itā€™d be totally appropriate to call him on it, too. Thatā€™s great you wouldnā€™t remember an anecdote like that. I sure would. People are rude to me rarely enough that it stands out in my mind when it does, and try as I might, I canā€™t keep it from getting under my skin. > [@jcc](#): > > if youā€™re a woman - especially a young woman - you should note that both women were treated poorly and did not/are unsure how to deal with it effectively. What similarities can be found? Point taken. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/43 "2011-06-15T13:49:15Z")
> [@palacheck](#): > > Iā€™ve met a lot of female assholes too ya know. Itā€™s not like enrolling a clueless asshole like that in Being Polite to Women **101** is going to change his behavior. Some people revel in their ugly personalities. > > I canā€™t even imagine remembering an anecdote like that. I canā€™t imagine crying after an exchange like that either. Iā€™m not saying **EmAnJ** should have screamed the guyā€™s head off, or that she handled the situation wrong at all, but I think once youā€™ve learned to fight back so to speak, incidents like that start to lose their power over you. You are correct - once I became more assertive, things changed and I didnā€™t let them get to me. But this incident occurred about eight years ago when I was 22. I was a small town girl who had moved to a big city and wasnā€™t used to dealing with people who were so rude, plus, I was shy and unsure of myself. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/44 "2011-06-15T13:54:32Z")
> [@j66](#): > > Well, if youā€™re a man that should be your takeaway - treat everyone, particularly customers - with respect. > > However, if youā€™re a woman - especially a young woman - you should note that both women were treated poorly and did not/are unsure how to deal with it effectively. What similarities can be found? > > Women have to find the middle ground between door mat and BBB to be effective in confrontations and other power-struggles. Quiet firmness is very good most of the time; apologizes seldom are. > > (The OP did deal with a possibly danderous situation correctly, of course.) I think this is a pretty insightful post. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/45 "2011-06-15T14:05:01Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > In the future, you may want to consider not putting documents you wish to keep private on display in the main bathroom. You also should make sure there is nothing in the medicine cabinet a casual visitor or tradesman might look at. And make sure you empty the bin on your paper-shredder, as it is possible to collect and reassemble the shreds. Complain. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/46 "2011-06-15T14:45:27Z")
Yes, you should absolutely call to complain - as others have mentioned, you donā€™t want this guy in your house again. If you have not already, I strongly recommend you read Gavin de Beckerā€™s _[The Gift of Fear](https://www.gavindebecker.com/index.php/resources/book/the_gift_of_fear/)_. This is exactly the sort of thing he talks about, and also exactly the sort of thing I had so much trouble overcoming when I taught womenā€™s self-defense. This guy went out of his way to make you feel unsafe. Therefore he is an asshole, and potentially dangerous. At the very least you donā€™t want him near you again. Complain. You have the right to feel safe when service personnel are in your home. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/47 "2011-06-15T14:49:49Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > > [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > > > In the future, you may want to consider not putting documents you wish to keep private on display in the main bathroom. > > You also should make sure there is nothing in the medicine cabinet a casual visitor or tradesman might look at. And make sure you empty the bin on your paper-shredder, as it is possible to collect and reassemble the shreds. Iā€™m surprised Kimmy didnā€™t also tell her to stop dressing so slutty. ---
**Author:** ![Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/48 "2011-06-15T15:14:05Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Iā€™m surprised Kimmy didnā€™t also tell her to stop dressing so slutty. Iā€™m sorry, I donā€™t understand the relevance of this post. Can you explain what you mean? And why you are _surprised_ I didnā€™t say anything about how the OP was dressed? Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![Khendrask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@Khendrask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khendrask)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/49 "2011-06-15T15:33:00Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Stuff in the bathroom that you make available to your guests and invitees (such as tradesman) is on display, whether you like it or not. _ **Especially** _ if it is hanging right there on the wall. > > If you donā€™t want it to be available to othersā€™ inspection, relocate it to a private area of your home, like your bedroom. Totally a non issue when you have somebody crawling around looking for bugs. It wouldnā€™t matter what room it was in. I have a feeling this guy checked through the mail as well. Iā€™d call his boss. ---
**Author:** ![Gagundathar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@Gagundathar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gagundathar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/50 "2011-06-15T15:46:21Z")
My spidey-sense is tingling on this one. You should report him and do so forcefully. He _feels_ like a predator-in-training. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/51 "2011-06-15T16:01:21Z")
> [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](#): > > Iā€™m sorry, I donā€™t understand the relevance of this post. Can you explain what you mean? And why you are _surprised_ I didnā€™t say anything about how the OP was dressed? They are implying you are ā€œblaming the victimā€ (something often heard in sexual harassment/assault cases is that the victim was asking for it by dressing so slutty, hence the poster thought your comment was analogous to that). ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/52 "2011-06-15T16:11:27Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > They are implying you are ā€œblaming the victimā€ (something often heard in sexual harassment/assault cases is that the victim was asking for it by dressing so slutty, hence the poster thought your comment was analogous to that). Yep. ---
**Author:** ![Johanna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johanna/32/8318_2.png) [@Johanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johanna)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/53 "2011-06-15T16:12:03Z")
Yeah. One time they sent us a guy who never took his eyes off our boobs. You better believe we complained and made sure they never sent us that guy again. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/54 "2011-06-15T18:17:54Z")
> [@moejoe](#): > > Iā€™m not sure why you didnā€™t call him on it in the moment. > > Maybe itā€™s outside of your comfort zone, but I would have said yes, you are creeping me out and it sounds like youā€™re doing it on purpose. Letā€™s call your customer service line right now and see how they feel about it shall we? > > Itā€™s not rude to call out a creep if heā€™s standing right there in your home. She didnā€™t call him on it because she was alone and he creeped her out. He knew sheā€™d be alone for awhile until Dave got back, so pissing him off by threatening to call customer service would definitely be outside of the comfort zone. Creepy is bad enough. Creepy AND pissed off is even worse. ---
**Author:** ![Toucanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Toucanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toucanna)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/55 "2011-06-15T18:46:34Z")
I agree with **Kimmy\_G** in that one is best advised not to leave items one wishes to keep private in areas of oneā€™s house one makes available to the public. That said, the contents of a cabinet or drawer are completely out of bounds and rummaging through them is not analogous to reading written material left out in a (semi-)public area. Be aware that some service companies have a policy that their personnel are not to use customersā€™ bathrooms. On top of creeping out the OP, the Bug Guy may have violated company policy. My advice is to bring this incident to managementā€™s (Orkinā€™s) attention, advise management that this specific tech is no longer welcome in your home, and +1 on reading deBeckerā€™s _Gift of Fear_. Whether you inform your landlord depends, IMO, on how sympathetic/understanding you think your landlord will be. Regards, ---
**Author:** ![partlycloudy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/partlycloudy/32/3114_2.png) [@partlycloudy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/partlycloudy)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/56 "2011-06-15T19:45:15Z")
Wow! So many responses - thanks folks. Iā€™d respond to em one-by-one if I were more than just one human being. To summarizeā€¦ 1- **moejoe** was surprised I didnt call him out on it right away. Well, I often wish I had the balls to do such things, but I just donā€™t. In fact, Iā€™m ashamed to say my reaction to such things is often a little bit of a nervous chuckle and a kind of sideways look. I need to get better at those things. I AM ā€œtoo niceā€ and not wanting to be rude, even to someone whoā€™s really asking for it. Maybe the **Gift of Fear** book will help with that. Itā€™s actually been on my wish list for some time, so I think Iā€™ll bump that up to the top. Thanks **Shodan**. 2 - Also, I just wanted to point out that I wasnā€™t being flirtatious - at least, if I was perceived that way, then I think it would have been entirely due to a misinterpretation made by the receiving party. I find that I sometimes accidentally convey a flirtatious vibe, so in a situation like this (guy who is already cocky and overconfident and in my home), I make a concerted effort to be dull, but cordial - pretty unfantastic (which is hard for me, but, ya know šŸ˜‰ ). I was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt - not something most people would consider provocative by any means. 3 - It definitely did occur to me that he probably got a kick out of trying to ook me out. That makes me pretty mad actually. Grrrrā€¦ 4 - **Martin Hyde** suggested that I ask my landlord to complain to Orkin. My landlord is actually the guy who owns the house in front of me, and my apartment is a garage apartment behind his house. He doesnā€™t rent any other properties. He does have an annual contract with Orkin though. 5 - Re: the calendar. You know, at first when pesty guy said he saw it on the calendar, I was thinking, ā€œeh, alright, it IS on the calendar.ā€ But then I went downstairs to look at the calendar, and realized you know, there is stuff written on most days on that calendar. He wouldā€™ve undertaken more concentration than I was comfortable with to READ the calendar and notice that Dave was out of town. That was when I felt even ickier about it. I also never would have thought of that being a potential danger - putting something on a calendar that a maintenance person sees, and then they know more about your life and eep! :eek: that Iā€™m staying here alone for the next few days! I think of not leaving credit card statements lying around, not leaving passwords on sticky notes next to computers, making sure my underwear isnā€™t laying on the top of my laundry basket, things like that. Not calendars. 6 - **Bam Boo Gut** - Cute šŸ˜‰ 7 - And on the safety thing - you know, I watch too many of those murder shows on Investigation Discovery. And a lot of them have situations where the perpetrator is a service industry person who has trusted access to peopleā€™s homes. Itā€™s a pretty good job to have if youā€™re into stalking, raping, or doing otherwise creepy things to people. The more of your posts Iā€™ve read, and the more Iā€™ve thought about it, someone needs to get this guy in check. And as I mentioned before, at least if something more serious ever _has_ happened with this guy, or ever _did_ happen, then my complaint is on record. 8 - And finally, on the complaint - Iā€™m researching who best to complain to at Orkin, and when the boyfriend is back, am going to file the complaint. I also received a helpful tip via PM that I should check to see if thereā€™s a local bureau for regulations that I can send a complaint to, since this guy may actually be licensed by the state, and well, they might wanna know too. And thanks again to everyone who responded. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/57 "2011-06-15T20:35:07Z")
First of all, pest control guys are just creepy. Second, he could have just been bored or overly loquacious, or just socially immature. Either way, you could complain. Service people who enter others home should be very respectful of the owners and their property. Heā€™s probably in the wrong line of work. You could also forget about it. You may never see him again. If you get along well enough with the landlord you could tell him about it. He may not normally use that company, or a different guy comes every time, at which point complaining might be pointless. ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/58 "2011-06-15T20:56:13Z")
That Gavin de Becker guy always says that women are brought up not to complain, not to make trouble, to be polite, etc. and put themselves in danger this way. Having said that, I donā€™t know if I think the guy is actually a danger to you, just an immature twit. However, I would recommend that you report him to his company in writing just for your own peace of mind. Clearly itā€™s bothering you and this way you can have some closure. Donā€™t be shy about it! I once had a cable guy start telling me about how his marriage was breaking up. I donā€™t for an instant think he was flirting with me or anything; just wanted somebody to talk to and missed a clue somewhere about appropriate boundaries. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/59 "2011-06-15T22:24:17Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > That Gavin de Becker guy always says that women are brought up not to complain, not to make trouble, to be polite, etc. and put themselves in danger this way. Since this thread has turned into a hijack about the problems with female upbringing and their social programming, Iā€™ll add my two cents. IMO, it isnā€™t that women are too weak to stand up for themselves compared to those ballsy, straight talkinā€™ menfolk who donā€™t take crap from anyone. Men donā€™t deal with this kind of shit because _men donā€™t act creepy around other men like this_. Thatā€™s all it is; it has nothing to do with women being too nice or too polite. Seriously, think about it. What male exterminator is going to peek at another guyā€™s calendar, pretend to magically know certain things about his girlfriend that he shouldnā€™t know, and then play coy when confronted about this knowledge? We all know this scenario would never happen to a guy, and itā€™s not because guys speak up for themselves. Itā€™s because creeps arenā€™t trying to creep out guys. Doesnā€™t matter if the guy was raised to be the most non-complaining, non-fuss making individual on the planetā€¦he wonā€™t be a magnet for creepiness like a woman will. A guy isnā€™t going to call a male customer ā€œsweetieā€ either in a patronizing way when a miscommunication occurs. These things happen to women because jerks often relate to women in jerkish ways. Sorry if my tone is less than sugary here, but I get a headache when I see psychobabble arguments offered about how women are raised to be nice and polite as a way of explaining why bad things happen to them more than men. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2011, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473/60 "2011-06-15T22:58:02Z")
As someone who sometimes goes into strangerā€™s home as part of my job, the pest control guy wasnā€™t acting appropriately. It doesnā€™t matter _what_ you see when youā€™re in someone elseā€™s home - you _ignore_ it, unless it directly pertains to your job. Iā€™ve seen all sorts of things, from innocuous to hair-curling. Clientā€™s son walks in with a monitoring bracelet on his ankle from the department corrections? Say nothing. See sex toys on the kitchen counter? Say nothing. See recently used sex toys on the kitchen counter? _Say nothing_. Green fuzz on dishes in the sink? Say nothing. Rotting pizza boxes under the couch? Say nothing. Residents have horrific taste in interior decorating? Say nothing. If they ask you about something you say the best phrases are usually either ā€œI didnā€™t see anythingā€ or ā€œI wasnā€™t paying attention to that.ā€ Man beats his wife and dogs? Say nothing - but report later as appropriate. Yes, please tell his employer that the way he handled himself made you uneasy. Whether heā€™s a predator or a nice guy with poor social skills, his employer needs to know. Meanwhile - donā€™t engage in idle conversation workmen in your home. You can stop at any time and say ā€œI donā€™t think this is an appropriate topic for discussion.ā€ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-pest-control-guy-do-i-complain/585473.md?page=4)