# Creepy Sauna Troll, Go Away! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 7, 2001, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229 "2001-09-07T14:11:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/41 "2001-09-09T22:04:25Z")
Cum here often? was more like it. grienspace-your argument sounds just like, boys will be boys, men can’t help it, the guy/girl was asking for it. Sexual harassment sucks. Period. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/42 "2001-09-09T23:11:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Cum here often? was more like it. \*\* Ah, _cum_ as in ejaculate. Damn am I slow. Sorry **gobear** , your reaction was warranted. **Guinastasia** , I agree that sexual harrassment sucks, but all too often I fear that any approach by people that society scorns for their looks or lack of self esteem is met by discomfort. For example a fat man with an acne encrusted face who is digging a ditch while a sexy looking coed walks by would be best to just ignore her . She will be discomfitted by any approach he makes. If a young good looking professor stops her, comments on her appearance in a sauve and debonair fashion prior to asking here out for dinner, she will feel no offense at all. I’m a sort of defender of underdogs that are not fashionably supported by todays “liberals”. Yes , sexual harrassment sucks, But the severity of the offense varies depending on the situation, and to suggest that in some cases the sexual harrassee is just as responsible as the harrassor would not seem unreasonable. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/43 "2001-09-09T23:25:58Z")
**grienspace** , are you selectively not reading the part where **gobear** has said (several times) that the same actions by a guy he was attracted to would have been met with the same revulsion? Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/44 "2001-09-09T23:26:42Z")
And a guy waving his shlong around in a sauna at someone is unwarranted. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9fc348/32.png) [@The\_Flying\_Dutchman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Flying_Dutchman)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/45 "2001-09-10T00:54:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\ ***grienspace** , are you selectively not reading the part where **gobear** has said (several times) that the same actions by a guy he was attracted to would have been met with the same revulsion? > > Esprix \*\* **Esprix** , I was under the illusion that the encounter pariticularly the initial rebuff was in response to a friendly gesture. With that in mind, I only sought to put into a possible perspective that the subsequent gestures were not trolling but a return of contempt by an immature person and that the offense was mitigated somewhat in that respect. I was well aware of **gobear** ’s complete statement, and my challenge only suggested that he may be deluding himself, by not giving enough weight to the impact of his initial response. We all have to be very careful here I think. As it has been suggested that some trollish behavior is deserving of violence, the term gay bashing comes to my mind. Certainly in some cases the bashing is in response to trollish behavior or **perceived** trollish behavior, but as far as I’m concerned,where no harm was done, live and let live. **Guinastasia** , I grew up in a time when the women’s locker room had individual showers and the men’s were communal. After some rigorous physical activity we would have a lot of horseplay in the showers, pissing on each other etcetera and those of us who were particularly proud of our manhoods would spend an inordinate amount of time soaping and stretching them. If one of us had a hard-on, I’m sure we all would have ran. Having said that, **Guinastasia** , may I point out that the lech in question never pulled out his dick, and no indication was given that tumescence was involved? The guy was in street clothes and grabbed his crotch. Check the OP. I’m left wondering if drawing attention to his crotch is any more trollish than say a woman drawing attention to her boobs by any number of methods that are considered perfectly acceptable by society. A later reference to penile exposure was merely a generalization and put down of trollish men with small dicks. ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/46 "2001-09-10T03:01:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*At JR’s, a popular gay bar in DC, if you’re not an A&F wearing twink, you might as well be invisible. If you go to the DC Eagle, however, all the leathermen and bearlovers will make you feel like Britney Spears. Guys who wouldn’t give me the time of day would be buying you drinks and scribbling their phone numbers. So it’s just a matter of environment. After all, somebody is buying all those copies of Bear, American Grizzly and Bulk Male! 'sides, you know I dig ya! \*\* 😊 I know about the Eagle and such…there’s just nothing like that around here. The Bearidise thing I mentioned in another thread is the only comparable thing and it’s only ever two months or so. But thank you. 🙂 jayjay ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/47 "2001-09-10T03:19:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grienspace \* > When I was a teenager, I was hit on by more guys than girls, but never felt the need to go on about it like **Gobear** > Now that I think about it, the encounters were all very similar to the sauna episode,(NO HARM DONE) and all the men were well past their prime. If I, a heterosexual, can have such tolerance for these “washed up queens”, what does that say for you guys? Should we all send you an email before posting a rant about something, just in case you’ve lived through worse, and it would be inappropriate for us to “go on about it”? Is that the measure of what’s OK to complain about? ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/48 "2001-09-10T08:50:17Z")
To tell the truth I think that creepy unwanted sexual advances are rather more common in the heterosexual world than the gay. Some years ago I went to a work drinks event at one of the fashionable pubs in town, and I noticed a bunch of men who were hanging around the door of the womens toilet. As women came through the bar to use the ladies, or to return, they would have to pass through this group, who would look them up and down in what I found a very obvious way. They were the worse for drink and for group bravado, and I couldn’t help but think what kind of a weirdo wants to scope chicks just after they’ve finished urinating? What they were doing wasn’t threatening, or probably even unattractive to many of the women there. But to me it seemed very creepy - there was a kind of imbalance, lack of equality or openness about it. I mentioned to one of my colleagues how the place seemed like an obvious a pick-up joint . Well, she said gay bars are are no better. She seemed angry and I was confused. I suppose you do see men on the prowl in gay bars, but I’ve always felt that on the whole gay encounters are more equal to equal. Like the best sort of heterosexual encounters. But I’m baffled by the man in street clothes in the sauna. I mean talk about desperate! What must he look like when he gets back to the office? Redboss ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2001, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/49 "2001-09-10T11:23:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Redboss \* > \*\*To tell the truth I think that creepy unwanted sexual advances are rather more common in the heterosexual world than the gay. > > Some years ago I went to a work drinks event at one of the fashionable pubs in town, and I noticed a bunch of men who were hanging around the door of the womens toilet. As women came through the bar to use the ladies, or to return, they would have to pass through this group, who would look them up and down in what I found a very obvious way. They were the worse for drink and for group bravado, and I couldn’t help but think what kind of a weirdo wants to scope chicks just after they’ve finished urinating? \*\* Oh yeah. This is exactly like someone trying to have anonymous sex with you at the gym. > [@](#): > > \*\* > What they were doing wasn’t threatening, or probably even unattractive to many of the women there. But to me it seemed very creepy - there was a kind of imbalance, lack of equality or openness about it. \*\* You’ll have to explain the inequality to me. Were the women not capable of looking at the men in an equally creepy manner? Were the women such delicate flowers that they wilted at the very sight of a man leering at them? > [@](#): > > \*\* > I suppose you do see men on the prowl in gay bars, but I’ve always felt that on the whole gay encounters are more equal to equal. Like the best sort of heterosexual encounters. \*\* Now why would you automatically make that assumption? Are homosexual relationships more equal then heterosexual relationships? Marc ---
**Author:** ![Redboss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8baadc/32.png) [@Redboss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redboss)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/50 "2001-09-14T08:24:39Z")
Dear MGibson, Thank you for your interesting reply. Yours, Redboss ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/51 "2001-09-14T10:46:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grienspace \* > \*\*…Its been years since I’ve received a pass from a gay guy. I’m feeling old. \*\* I can spot a cry for help from a mile away. C’mon over here, I’ll buy you a beer then whisper lecherous nothings in your ear. There, feel better now? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2001, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229/52 "2001-09-14T13:29:47Z")
**Grienspace** Last night I needed to get out of the house and away from CNN, so I went o Omega, a gay bar in DC. I was drinking a beer and casually flirting with a hot muscle guy at the bar. Without so much as a by-your-leave, he reavhed down my shorts and grabbed my package! I was really mad and told him to get the fuck away from me. So you see, I don’t even let really hot bodybuilders pull that crap. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/creepy-sauna-troll-go-away/80229.md?page=2)