# Criminal offenses NOT committed by the VILLAINS in movies! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 16, 2011, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495 "2011-09-16T07:59:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/41 "2011-09-17T06:36:57Z")
**Superman:** for all you know, the Fortress of Solitude could be in Alaska–or even Greenland. 🙂 Jill Young **(Mighty Joe Young):** It would seem to me a foreign national could not enter the United States alone (with no other family members), if she were underage (Jill was about 19). **The Caine Mutiny:** The last name of José Ferrer’s character was Greenwald (in the novel and the movie), not Rosenfeld. Oh, please–don’t get me started on the\*\* Blues Brothers…\*\*:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/42 "2011-09-17T06:49:43Z")
**Gremlins:** Trafficking with a rare, endangered species. Breeding lethal animals that actually escape and kill several people. **Gandhi** Disturbing the peace. **Short circuit** Stealing US military property. Aiding and abetting a fugitive. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/43 "2011-09-17T08:03:22Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > Might want to watch the ending again. They point the finger of blame at Fred MacMurray’s character. As noxious as Queeg is, none of his orders or actions are really out of line for a ship that’s basically on extended training maneuvers. The ball bearings were disconcerting, but when ball bearings are outlawed, only outlaws will have them. Bah. Queeg was still a paranoid incompetent who should never have been in command of anything. Barney Greenwald notwithstanding, Queeg was paranoid even before his officers turned against him. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/44 "2011-09-17T10:28:47Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > First tell me which of the folks in WATCHMEN weren’t villains, and then I’ll tell you which crimes they committed… Try finding a crime the Comedian didn’t commit. Rape (SilkSpectre I) Murder (casually opening fire on protestors) Arson (his display/ half of Vietnam) Robbery (looting the unconscious) Burglary and forceful entry (Breaking in to Molochs house) Manslaughter (The vietnamese girl with the bottle) Terrorism/Assassination (President Kennedy) Illegal Firearm possession (His massive gunlocker) ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/45 "2011-09-17T10:53:41Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Bah. Queeg was still a paranoid incompetent who should never have been in command of anything. Barney Greenwald notwithstanding, Queeg was paranoid even before his officers turned against him. Wouk’s point, however, is that in wartime, people assume responsibilities that they may not be ready to handle, but nonetheless they deserve the respect and obedience that their ranks receive. Junior officers in wartime are not to go around undermining their captains because they have defects in their personalities–they’re supposed to salute and say “Yes, sir” and carry out their lawful orders. The mutineers failed to do that. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/46 "2011-09-17T12:16:07Z")
E.T.: Concealing an illegal alien. Flying without filing a flight plan or using safety gear of any kind. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/47 "2011-09-17T12:28:00Z")
_Terminator_: Unauthorized manufacture and use of explosives. _The Return of the King_: Unauthorized border crossing, destruction of private property. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/48 "2011-09-17T12:31:53Z")
Starman: Running a red light. (“I watched you drive. Green means go. Red means stop. Yellow means go very fast.”) ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/49 "2011-09-17T12:33:50Z")
**It’s a Wonderful Life:** 1. Vandalism (breaking the window of the old Granville house) 2. Breaking and entering (his wedding night); Bert and Ernie are his co-conspirators 3. Bert-Extortion and civil rights violation-the sign maker wanted to keep his posters; Bert:"How would you like a traffic ticket?’ 4. Didn’t he co-mingle funds when there was the run on the bank? hh ---
**Author:** ![Pitchmeister](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pitchmeister/32/3459_2.png) [@Pitchmeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pitchmeister)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/50 "2011-09-17T13:02:21Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Not to mention the sheer amounts of property damage that gets done. Especially in superhero movies. I know you’re saving everyone, Superman, but you REALLY didn’t need to use that skyscraper as a cudgel. Not sure if you know that, but that’s precisely the premise of Pixar’s _The Incredibles_. Superheros destroy too much stuff during their rescues, and so have to go into hiding and are barred from saving people. > [@dougie\_monty](#): > > Jill Young **(Mighty Joe Young):** It would seem to me a foreign national could not enter the United States alone (with no other family members), if she were underage (Jill was about 19). Maybe I’m missing something here, but that simply ain’t true - I came to the US as an exchange student when I was 16, just like about 100,000 other exchange each year. Why would it be illegal? ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/51 "2011-09-17T13:05:04Z")
> [@Evil\_Captor](#): > > E.T.: Concealing an illegal alien. Flying without filing a flight plan or using safety gear of any kind. I’m pretty sure that bike had reflectors on it… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/52 "2011-09-17T14:47:28Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > _Terminator_: Unauthorized manufacture and use of explosives. > > _The Return of the King_: Unauthorized border crossing, destruction of private property. It was wartime. Unauthorized border crossing seems beside the point. Assuming by destruction of private property you are referring to the Ring, no. In the first place, Frodo _didn’t_ destroy it; that was either the subtle intervention of Providence or random chance. In the second place, I’m in the camp that says that the Ring was legally Frodo’s. Isildur took it from Sauron’s corpse as wergild for his father and brother, in accordance with the laws and customs of his people. Sauron no longer owned it at that point. When Isildur died and the Ring was lost, no one owned it. Deagol claimed it by right of salvage. Admittedly Smeagol/Gollum was a flat-out murdering thief, so it’s reasonable to say that title was never his. If it wasn’t it belonged to the next person who claimed it, which was Bilbo; and Bilbo explicitly gave it to Frodo. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/53 "2011-09-17T18:01:12Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > Bah. Queeg was still a paranoid incompetent who should never have been in command of anything. Barney Greenwald notwithstanding, Queeg was paranoid even before his officers turned against him. First, I apologize for my gross memory failure. How Barney Greenwald became Barney Rosenfeld in my head is beyond me. (Oddly enough, I saw Michael Moriarty as both Queeg AND as Barney Greenwald in a revival of “The Caine Mutiny Court Martial” at the Circle in the Square Theatre decades ago.) My take is, Queeg was probably a perfectly competent (probably a bit overbearing) peacetime quartermaster who was promoted waaaay above his competence due to the exigencies of war. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [September 17, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/54 "2011-09-17T20:14:58Z")
Han Solo murdered a bounty hunter, illegally blasted his way out of a spaceport, broke a prisoner (and suspected terrorist) out of jail, and attempted to kill a high ranking government official while aiding other terrorists in destroying a government facility (with an even higher ranking government official inside). And that’s just in the first one. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/55 "2011-09-19T14:13:30Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Han Solo murdered a bounty hunter, illegally blasted his way out of a spaceport, broke a prisoner (and suspected terrorist) out of jail, and attempted to kill a high ranking government official while aiding other terrorists in destroying a government facility (with an even higher ranking government official inside). And that’s just in the first one. Yes, but are those criminal actions or just day-to-day life in the Star Wars universe? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2011, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495/56 "2011-09-19T14:29:42Z")
In his rush across town to stop a wedding, Harold Lloyd in **Girl Shy** , stole cars, a motorcycle, a streetcar, even a team of horses. The marraige would have been annuled anyway, as the groom was already married. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/criminal-offenses-not-committed-by-the-villains-in-movies/596495.md?page=2)