# Cringe Time: The Cheesiest / Worst Lyrical Lines (In Honour of Warburon's List) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 10, 2004, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187 "2004-12-10T19:09:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/21 "2004-12-11T05:53:27Z")
When Doves Cry - Prince \*Touch if you will my stomach Feel how it trembles inside You’ve got the butterflies all tied up Don’t make me chase you Even doves have pride \* Huh? Of course there is always Warrant’s Cherry Pie (the entire song is bad, but this line is sub-lyrical) _Swingin’ in there 'cause She wanted me to feed her So I mixed up the batter And she licked the beater_ Huh? The Beatles are always a fair bet for stupid lyrics. \*Do you, dont you want me to love you. I?m coming down fast but Im miles above you. Tell me tell me tell me come on tell me the answer. You may be a lover but you aint no dancer. \* ??? _Sitting on a cornflake - waiting for the van to come. Corporation teeshirt, stupid bloody Tuesday man you been a naughty boy You let your face grow long._ ??? - look at you all see the love there thats sleeping While my guitar gently weeps. I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping Still my guitar gently weeps.\* ??? ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/22 "2004-12-11T06:44:59Z")
> [@](#): > > But you know what truth is? > It’s that little baby you’re holding, and it’s that man you fought with this morning, > the same one you’re going to make love with tonight. That’s truth, that’s love. I win! 😃 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/23 "2004-12-11T08:10:08Z")
I’m gonna go with an obscure one: the Alan Parsons Project’s _Ammonia Avenue_. The opening stanza: Is there no sign of light As we stand in the darkness Watching the sun arise? ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/24 "2004-12-11T10:52:42Z")
All Saints, “Never Ever”: “Vexing vocabulary runs right through me The alphabet runs right from A to _Zee_!” and then later: “Sometimes vocabulary runs right through my head The alphabet runs right from A to _Zed_!” True trans-atlantic crapiness. U2 are also fairly reliable for some shit lyrics. From “Kite”: “Did I waste it? Not so much I couldn’t taste it Life should be _fragrant_ Roof top to the basement” Fragrant? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![dearissues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/919ad9/32.png) [@dearissues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dearissues)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/25 "2004-12-11T12:14:03Z")
I shudder everytime I hear this: _“This is the Casper slide… (snip) … one hop!”_ Blech. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/26 "2004-12-11T13:04:50Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey”. All the lyrics, but especially: > > “She wrecked the car and she was sad > And so afraid that I’d be mad > But what the heck > Though I pretended hard to be > Guess you could say she saw through me > And hugged my neck” We have a winner! My first thought on seeing the thread title… ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/27 "2004-12-11T13:05:55Z")
On a seasonal note, how about: > [@](#): > > You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen > Comet and Cupid and Donder and Blitzen. > _But do you recall > the most famous reindeer of all?_ Sorry, no. I just remember the obscure ones. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/28 "2004-12-11T13:22:34Z")
Early **ABBA**. My my at Waterloo Napoleon did surrender (oh, yeah) And I have met my destiny in quite a sim’lar way. The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself… I guess they could argue a lack of knowledge of English history and language. ---
**Author:** ![look\_ninjas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b2d939/32.png) [@look\_ninjas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/look_ninjas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/29 "2004-12-11T13:39:07Z")
I was watching The Princess Bride the other day, and as the credits rolled, this little stinker jumped right out at me: “Our love is like a storybook story But it’s as real as the feelings I feel.” Is that an echo, Mark Knopfler? Jeez! ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/30 "2004-12-11T14:24:14Z")
Certainly not the worst, but “Crash Into Me” is up there, or is it “down there”? Hike up your skirt a little more And show your world to me. So that’s what the young people are calling it nowadays. “Hey baby, we’ve been dating six months already! Gimme some world, huh?” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/31 "2004-12-11T15:27:51Z")
How about: Steve Miller You’re the cutest thing That I ever did see I really love your peaches Want to shake your tree. By the way, this never ever works as a pick up line in a bar. ---
**Author:** ![Glassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Glassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glassy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/32 "2004-12-11T16:30:25Z")
In the category of “Song lyrics never ever to use as pickup lines,” I nominate these from Foreigner: “Are you hot, mama? You sure look that way to me.” and “Come on, baby, do you do more than dance?” ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/33 "2004-12-11T17:08:13Z")
“Out through the back door of Rose’s I ran Out where the horses were ti-i-i-i-ed I caught a good one, it looked like it could run” From Marty Robins “El Paso” A desperate rhyme if ever there was one… ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/34 "2004-12-11T17:10:36Z")
“All by myself, don’t wanna be all by myself…” Maybe not cheesy, but horrible and trite and way overused. Also, anything and everything by the horror known as Celine Dion. ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/35 "2004-12-11T18:03:41Z")
Only time will tell if we stand the test of time. ~Why Can’t this Be Love (I think), Van Halen ---
**Author:** ![casdave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@casdave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/casdave)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/36 "2004-12-11T19:59:06Z")
The Eurovision contest that gave the world ABBA also gave the world some pretty cheesy stuff. IMHO the most cheesy was a little number by an Israeli duo called Milk and Honey which actually won. The name of the duo itself is too much, being obviously related to the view that Israel officially views its territory, despite centuries of killing and a tragic recent history. The competition itself is highly politicised and talent free, its usual that the best song does not win because ot the small politics being played out. The only reason this won was that there was an air of optimism over the Camp David agreement, and the prospect of peace in the ME region, which also makes me ask, what the hell has Israel to do with a European song competition anyway ? Given that this song was carrying so much baggage, surely it had to have something special to justify it ? Sadly not. Hallelujah for the world Hallelujah, everyone will sing With one single word The heart fills with much gratitude And it also pounds: what a wonderful world ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/37 "2004-12-11T20:13:29Z")
The 70s were the heyday of bad lyrics, and y’all are missing some classics: _One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do Two can be as bad as one It’s the loneliest number since the number one_ and also _I… I’m hooked on a feeling I’m high on believing That you’re in love with me_ And then here’s a gem from the 80s, courtesy of Culture Club: _Because time won’t give me time And time makes lovers feel Like they’ve got something real But you and me we know They’ve got nothing but time_ …Huh? Was really that hard to find something that rhymes with “time”? > [@Khadaji](#): > > You’re the cutest thing That I ever did see I really love your peaches Want to shake your tree. I say we cut Steve Miller some slack. He’s just doing a riff on a traditional blues lyric (and the name of the game in blues was not-very-obscure references to sex). You can also hear a riff on this lyric in the rocked-up version of the blues song “Matchbox” as sung by Carl Perkins, Jerry Lee Lewis and The Beatles, among others: _If you don’t want my peaches honey Please don’t shake my tree If you don’t want my peaches honey Please don’t shake my tree I’ve got news for you baby I’ll leave you here in misery_ ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/38 "2004-12-11T21:41:20Z")
A few atrocities committed by Madonna, courtesy your friendly neighbourhood Madonna Fanatic, kfl: From _Love Profusion_, off the much-hated _American Life_ album: _And I know I can feel bad when I get in a bad mood and the world can look so sad only you make me feel good_ More craptacular examples from _AL_’s _Intervention_: _I got to save my baby because he makes me cry I got to make him happy I got to teach him how to fly I want to take him higher way up, like a bird in the sky I got to calm him down now I got to save his life_ What the hell is that?!?! 20 years in music and this is what she comes up with? Maybe her pregnancy made her stupid. from _Impressive Instant_: I like to singy singy singy/ Like a bird on a wingy wingy wingy/ I like to rhumba rhumba rhumba/ Dance to a samba samba samba\* Or this gem, from the glaringly awful _Like A Virgin_ album: _Shoo-be-doo-be-doo doo ooh la la, come to me, baby/ Shoo-be-doo-be-doo doo, don’t say maybe_ It’s almost bad enough to make you wish you were never born. I’m sure there are more examples but I’m too busy to do anything more than throw some out off the top of my head. I know everyone hates the “rap” in the title track for _American Life_, but I refuse to include it because it was meant to be a parody. Only simple-minded people would take it seriously. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/39 "2004-12-11T21:57:58Z")
This one makes me angry because I like the song and then she sings this line and I wanna smack her. _Open up your morning light And say a little prayer for I._ ---
**Author:** ![DougC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@DougC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DougC)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2004, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187/40 "2004-12-11T22:03:50Z")
- - - Grand slam- - Sammy Hagar Incomprehensible #1: from _Heavy Metal_, “…(she) moves through the crowd just like a wedge…”. A wedge of what? Cheese? - Sammy Hagar Incomprehensible #2: from _Why Can’t This Be Love_, “…only time will tell if we’ll stand the test of time…” -Hmmmm, deep. - Sammy Hagar Incomprehensible #3: from _Can’t Get Loose_, “…who will rescue her one day…while time keeps _going_ against her…” -ugh. ~ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cringe-time-the-cheesiest-worst-lyrical-lines-in-honour-of-warburons-list/279187.md?page=3)