# Critical Life Decision: Help Me Choose \[Career-related\] **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519 "2013-11-22T15:02:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/61 "2013-11-23T15:57:35Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > A partial list of tangible benefits, for **Merneith** : > > [ul] > [li]Shorter hours[/li][li]More responsibility and independence[/li][li]More opportunity for courtroom work, which is a strength for me[/li][li]More interesting work (which is easier to do than boring work, for me)[/li][li]Not keeping track of every tenth of an hour (!)[/li][li]I choose the clients instead of vice versa[/li][li]More diversity of tasks (current job is very similar tasks each day and will be for a while)[/li][li]Opportunity to do outreach and advocacy in addition to litigation[/li][li]Media appearances, which I enjoy[/li][li]Less travel (no more having to spend weeks away to third-chair some trial in Omaha)[/li][li]More opportunity to explore academic side of law, probably to write some law review articles[/li][/ul] Well, it’s not really for _me,_ of course. Those sound like some real advantages to the new job - especially picking your own clients and not having to travel for weeks at a time. Are those things worth the price of your pay cut and the hit to your savings and so on? Well, only you can say. But I think it’s good to have specifics. Are there any other specific disadvantages about the job, aside from the money? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/62 "2013-11-23T17:08:30Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > Yeah, probably. I haven’t given it that much thought yet, but some people in these positions take low-hour adjunct positions at law schools. I could always tutor LSAT courses. Tutor for LSAT courses. That would be my pick. You put in your hours, and when you’re done, you’re done. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/63 "2013-11-24T04:44:08Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Tutor for LSAT courses. That would be my pick. You put in your hours, and when you’re done, you’re done. That defeats the purpose of less working hours though. Look, I don’t want to play the role of negative Nancy but you need life experience to fully understand what you are doing with these ideas. I have made two huge mistakes by switching jobs for greener pastures that didn’t materialize in either the short or long term. I was worse off almost immediately and even that was for more pay. The point to these kinds of threads is not to get all positives or negatives but to get a balanced view of the risks and rewards. Many people get sucked up in the false promise of positive thinking and raw faith when that can be your worst enemy in reality. You have to hear out both sides of the argument and then make a calculated judgement based on what you know about yourself and the situation at hand. After you have thought it all out, I like the idea of a coin toss. Get someone to flip it and promise you will obey whatever the results are. You will know in mid-air what you are truly wishing for so just go with that. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/64 "2013-11-24T15:28:36Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > The point to these kinds of threads is not to get all positives or negatives but to get a balanced view of the risks and rewards. I agree. I appreciate your stating and defending your opinion (and everyone else doing so, as well). As you suggest, there are innumerable factors and subtleties that only I can really weigh, not the least of which is my own risk preferences. But here’s where I’m at right now: [ul] [li]I need to make sure that the change in income is “merely” a lifestyle change (e.g., no restaurants, different vacations, no cable) and not economically irresponsible (e.g., risking months where we couldn’t pay the bills, making sacrifices to my kid’s opportunities). I’ve looked closely at monthly spending on that front, but so far I’ve only estimated our tax burden, along with some other factors. So I need to look more closely to see how close we’d actually be cutting it. I hadn’t considered, for example, some sporadic sources of income we have.[/li] [li]I need to spend more time investigating the unknowns of this job. Find people who can tell me the couple people in the organization I don’t know, and find anyone in similar positions in different offices who have been dissatisfied. I think I have a very good sense of it, but there’s always more to learn and any more information I have is helpful if this is a close call.[/li] [li]Get a firmer idea of what kind of candidate I would be on the job market with my resume and then a year or two of new job, so I know how hard it would be to retreat.[/li][/ul] I’m trying to keep an open mind about those investigations, though as I think I’ve betrayed a bit I want to be able to take this job. I have a couple of weeks before any decisions need to be made. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/65 "2013-11-24T18:58:51Z")
Okay, here;s my take. Short version - do it. Do it now while you and your wife are young. If everything goes south and one of you needs to go back to the higher-paying soul-sucking job later, you have time to make up for it. If both of you are skilled professionals you can always find some money through additional contract work if you need it. My husband tossed his well-paying, much hated, promising career at 35 to become a professional helicopter pilot. Even though we paid for the training as he got it, we still had to move to a new state and take a big dive in income for several years afterwards. he has never regretted the change, and I knew that if I had insisted he stay for the sake of money, he would have been miserable, probably dropped it eventually anyway, and missed his window of opportunity to get into something he loved. Nobody knows you situation better than you and your wife, and if you are both on board with it, I say hell yes, enjoy it. I work in non-profit and know that money to do the mission is always a concern, but I’ve also worked in plenty of for-profit companies that were entirely focused on money and whether there was enough to pay the bills, pay the staff, while still sucking out every cent possible for the owners or stockholders. Personally, I know I could make more money somewhere else, but I love what I do and I love what the organization produces, which is more than I could ever say about manufacturing widgets, picking up garbage, or selling office supplies (all worthy businesses, but nobody does them for love). ---
**Author:** ![velomont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/8491ac/32.png) [@velomont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/velomont)\ **Post date:** [November 25, 2013, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/66 "2013-11-25T00:24:07Z")
One thing I would think about are your ages - you say you both are in your 30s. My wife and I are in our mid 50s now and what I found is that once I hit my 40s the probability of stupid physiological things happening to us increased. In our case a significant and non-stupid thing happened to us - my wife got cancer and had an extremely aggressive treatment protocol which will probably prevent her from ever working again. And a couple we know, in which the husband works huge overtime to support their lifestyle, suffered a hit when the wife had to severely curtail her hours because of significant back issues. I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t do this but you should factor this into your calculations. And, as others have said, there is a level of risk associated with this. ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 26, 2013, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/67 "2013-11-26T02:49:17Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > I very much expect this will cause financial worries, though I don’t know it for certain. The #1 source of problems in a marriage. It’s not much good having 10 hours more per week with your family if they’re spent worrying about how to pay the electric bill. I guess I favor comfort and stability over unicorns and promises, if you know what I mean. Either way, good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/68 "2013-11-27T05:33:54Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > None of them would consider a lawyer; lawyers were snobby creeps who had no time for such as them. Mr. Winston Van Snooty had lawyers; but Joe Blow, who worked the assembly line at Consolidated Industries, didn’t deserve one. > > I disagreed. These guys needed somebody who doesn’t care what tattoos they have, or what bands they listen to, or what truck they drive. I was one of them once–I know where they come from. So I went to law school, got my degree, and did the bar courses and exams. I got my license to practice. That’s me exactly. I’ve always subscribed to the idea that no matter my age, I’m not getting younger. I’ve made good money in my younger days doing soul-sucking jobs. The rest of my life will be doing things that can pay the bills while doing things that I enjoy. I don’t plan on having a boss again for the rest of my life. Further, at least around here, retirement for lawyers is overstated. When lawyers retire, they tend to die very soon. When you get older, you simply take on fewer cases and hand off most to other firms or to your associates. It’s what I enjoy doing, so when I’m 70, I won’t work 1/3 as hard as I do now, but I’ll still be at the office. But, it is really your own personal choice. Nobody can persuade you otherwise because there is no correct answer; just a question of which things in your life are more valuable to you. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/69 "2013-11-27T07:26:14Z")
I left a well-paying job for family reasons to ‘do the right thing’. It was the worst decision I even made. The economy crashed, I couldn’t get back in to work, and I almost lost everything. Unless you have additional income somehow, you will regret this. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 27, 2013, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/70 "2013-11-27T07:42:46Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > That’s me exactly. Thank you, friend; I’m glad to know that I am not the only one. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Parker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@Richard\_Parker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Parker)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2013, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/71 "2013-12-16T21:25:37Z")
My follow-up inquiries, research, and salary negotiation went better than expected. So…I’m doing it. I’ll let you know if it destroys my marriage and poisons my child against me, or, conversely, if I experience sudden enlightenment with bluebirds coming to rest on my shoulders as woodland animals gathering to hear my wisdom. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/72 "2013-12-17T02:48:26Z")
We’ll be waiting for your posts asking for tips on living frugally. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2013, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519/73 "2013-12-17T04:03:15Z")
> [@Richard\_Parker](#): > > My follow-up inquiries, research, and salary negotiation went better than expected. > > So…I’m doing it. I’ll let you know if it destroys my marriage and poisons my child against me, or, conversely, if I experience sudden enlightenment with bluebirds coming to rest on my shoulders as woodland animals gathering to hear my wisdom. Good for you and I mean that in all honesty. Just let us know how it goes over time. You may just be one of the lucky ones. Always remember, the only thing worse than a plan that isn’t working is one that you stick with just through sheer determination. I am not saying that is going to happen here. You made a convincing case why it won’t - It may be the best decision of your life, the worst, or something in the middle but the problem with dream jobs is that you don’t really have anything to shoot for after you get it. Always remember, you still need fallback plans and an exit strategy even if this ones goes well for an extended period. There is no such thing as job that lets you sit on clouds and eat ambrosia infinitely. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/critical-life-decision-help-me-choose-career-related/674519.md?page=3)