# Crossfire: Why won't you fucking die? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 22, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780 "2005-03-22T21:34:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/1 "2005-03-22T21:34:19Z")
Alright, I watch TV at work, as do all of my colleagues. Yes, I realize that it is unusual. Most of the time I simply watch CNN on a small tv, just to keep up with breaking news. But come 4:30 pm each day, that insipid program comes on. Yes, Crossfire. The show that makes otherwise intelligent (if partisan) hosts look like monkeys flinging their dung on the “B” list political commentators that they fool into having the stupid show. Yes, Crossfire, the show in which former Washington insiders go to in order to get a fat paycheck and hurl as many senseless, uninforming questions at partisan dullards and hacks, who get to yell back answers that are mostly not complete sentences, but instead mostly made of buzzwords and exclaimations: “Liar! Democrat evangelical death tax Vietnam pro-Life? Halliburton filibuster! Liberal sneaky Red Chinese terrorist tax-and-spend obstructionist right wing! CHENEY!!! BLAME BLAME BLAME!” Who the fuck watches this crap? It makes the McLaughlin Group look like a goddamn seminar by Richard Feynman. And how much ether must CNN buy each week to abduct people from the streets of Washington, DC to force them into that studio so that Bob “Senility” Novak and James “Skeletor” Carville can have a few dozen mouthbreathers to clap every now and then? Then I was teased, months ago, by [this](http://www.realitytvworld.com/index/articles/story.php?s=1000982) news: Tucker “Shit for Bowtie” Carlson was fired, and the whole freaking program was canned. Joy of joys! I foresaw an end to the afternoon scramble when that horrible, horrible theme music sends me scrambling to change the channel. But now, more than two months have passed since the fantastic announcement of Crossfire’s well-earned demise. SO WHY THE FUCK IS IT STILL ON TV? Won’t this talking head cockknocker yelling program go to the grave that it deserves? Fuck you, CNN, and double fuck Crossfire. ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/2 "2005-03-22T23:51:09Z")
Because we secretly keep hoping that a “Jerry S” fight will break out? ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2005, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/3 "2005-03-22T23:53:34Z")
You do know that set has an “off” button, don’t you? Or are you required to have it on for some reason? It probably has a channel selection mechanism, too. I do agree with you on that program, though. I can’t stand those “arguing” shows. My husband, OTOH, loves them. He’s like the stereotyped housewife hooked on soap operas. I always leave the room. Once, at the conclusion of an episode that was especially filled with dung-flinging, I asked him if he had learned anything. “No.” Changed your mind? Gotten a new thing to thing about? “No,” and “No.” So why watch it? He explained that it was like watching a football game – you want to see your side take down the other side. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/4 "2005-03-23T00:10:04Z")
This OP made me go back and watch the clip of Jon Stewart on Crossfire tearing Tucker a new one. Man that was the best 13 minutes of TV ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/5 "2005-03-23T00:48:44Z")
[http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2652831?htv=12](http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2652831?htv=12) ---
**Author:** ![Brutus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Brutus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brutus)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/6 "2005-03-23T00:59:32Z")
I thought it was cancelled? ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/7 "2005-03-23T01:51:41Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > You do know that set has an “off” button, don’t you? Or are you required to have it on for some reason? It probably has a channel selection mechanism, too. I refer the Right Honourable Gentlelady to the comments I gave some moments ago: > [@Ravenman](#): > > Then I was teased, months ago, by this news: Tucker “Shit for Bowtie” Carlson was fired, and the whole freaking program was canned. Joy of joys! I foresaw an end to the afternoon scramble when that horrible, horrible theme music **sends me scrambling to change the channel.** > [@Brutus](#): > > I thought it was cancelled? Cancelled like a Night of the Living Dead zombie that time and again rises from the grave todemand, “Braaaaaaaains!” in order to sustain its wretched, immoral purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 8:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/8 "2005-03-23T08:53:07Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > I thought it was cancelled? So did the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/9 "2005-03-23T10:44:58Z")
> [@Brutus](#): > > I thought it was cancelled? Citing “serious questions and substantial doubts”, Bush signed midnight legislation to insert a feeding tube to keep it alive. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/10 "2005-03-23T15:11:29Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Citing “serious questions and substantial doubts”, Bush signed midnight legislation to insert a feeding tube to keep it alive. THAT is funny!!! 😃 All I can say RE Crossfire is thank God for Chris Matthews. HARDBALL now reigns in my heart where CROSSFIRE once did. And it occasionally has Pat Buchanan! Yay! ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2005, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/11 "2005-03-23T16:41:11Z")
Hilarious OP. I remember when this show used to be good in the mid 90s (after Pat Buchanon left for the first time so he could run his \ presidential campaign.) But it’s been in the crapper for awhile now. I haven’t watched it in ages. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 24, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crossfire-why-wont-you-fucking-die/295780/12 "2005-03-24T18:27:33Z")
This is why the only political talk show I watch is Count-Pointercount. “They bought their tickets. They knew what they were getting into. I say, _let_ 'em crash!”