# Cruise and Holmes engaged (to be married,obviously!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688 "2005-06-17T11:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/1 "2005-06-17T11:25:48Z")
According to [BBC](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4102854.stm) news, Hollywood star Tom Cruise has become engaged to his girlfriend Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/2 "2005-06-17T11:49:47Z")
In further news, dozens of horrified observers leap to their deaths. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/3 "2005-06-17T11:55:15Z")
I’ll be generous and give 'em 120 days. Any takers? ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/4 "2005-06-17T11:58:45Z")
If we ignore them, maybe they’ll go away. ---
**Author:** ![fiztig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f19dbf/32.png) [@fiztig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiztig)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/5 "2005-06-17T12:05:40Z")
I actually find it a bit creepy. There seems to be this weird edge of desperation to it all, and she seems totally caught up in this “oooo… a big star thinks I’m hot and luvs me and all that kind of cool stuff and he’s got his own plane and everything and it will be real cool!!” type thing. Plus she doesn’t seem to have the presence of mind and strength of will to keep her head when he starts discussing the Scientology crap. “Oh Tom loves me! I have to do whatever he wants to keep him happy!” I feel sorry for his kids - I’d find this embarrassing. At least they have a mother with a little self dignity. Their father seems to have fallen into the Pits of Weirdo. ---
**Author:** ![fiztig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f19dbf/32.png) [@fiztig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiztig)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/6 "2005-06-17T12:08:02Z")
Also, what is this thing Cruise has for Catholic girls - does he enjoy the challenge? It never seems to work out that well for him. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/7 "2005-06-17T12:10:05Z")
Holmes is no longer Catholic. Too bad for her. I’ll take the pedophile priests over the Scios any day of the week. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/8 "2005-06-17T12:17:18Z")
The radio report this morning quotes her as saying she’s wanted to marry Tom Cruise “ever since she was a little girl.” :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/9 "2005-06-17T12:45:40Z")
Yeah. I think she was 4 years old when “Risky Business” premiered. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/10 "2005-06-17T13:09:21Z")
On CNN Headline News this morning, they showed this cutesy photo of a kitten rubbing against an old goat. Then they announced the Tom/Katie engagement. Absolutely brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/11 "2005-06-17T14:04:59Z")
Mmmmmm. . . kittens . . . ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/12 "2005-06-17T14:08:30Z")
She is like playdoh, very moldable. I give them 5 years and no kids. ---
**Author:** ![brianjedi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@brianjedi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brianjedi)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/13 "2005-06-17T14:29:49Z")
I think it’s time to consider the possibility that Tom Cruise has finally punched his crazy ticket. If these two actually get married, I will have a cake made in the shape of a hat and eat it. This is all a stunt, probably to prove that Tom’s the most virile, manly man on the planet. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/14 "2005-06-17T14:35:17Z")
I hope she never suffers from post-partum (or any other type of) depression. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/15 "2005-06-17T14:38:54Z")
Okay, on the bizarre-o-meter, does this outdo Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley (also a Scientologist, probably not coincidentally)? ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/16 "2005-06-17T14:47:39Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Okay, on the bizarre-o-meter, does this outdo Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley (also a Scientologist, probably not coincidentally)? Just imagine if the Michael/Lisa thing worked out. If you think Jacko is fucked up now, wait until he’s had a few hundred hours of auditing. :eek: I don’t even want to think about the things he’d have in his preclear folder… ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/17 "2005-06-17T16:21:00Z")
If they were engaged to be fired out of a cannon into space, I’d be much happier for them. > [@fiztig](#): > > I actually find it a bit creepy. Yeah. A rushed engagement increases the creepy/weird factor in ANY relationship, and it sure does that here. Could they have kept it under wraps for ten minutes? Did they think we didn’t believe they were “in love?” Did they think anybody hadn’t heard about this yet? Fer chrissakes, if _I_ was nailing Katie Holmes I wouldn’t make this big a deal out of it. > [@](#): > > I feel sorry for his kids Me too, but then I already did. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/18 "2005-06-17T18:14:47Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Fer chrissakes, if _I_ was nailing Katie Holmes I wouldn’t make this big a deal out of it. First of all, you’re assuming that Tom Cruise is nailing Katie Holmes. Let’s make it perfectly clear that this fact is still… _ahem_… _disputed in some circles_. Now, if I were nailing Katie Holmes, I would be the coolest guy on the planet about it. “Want a picture of me and Katie? Okay, that’s cool. What? You don’t care? Okay, that’s cool too. Katie, let’s get out of here.” I would not jump on furniture, I would not propose to her somewhere as _tacky_ as the goddamned Eiffel Tower, and I definitely would not confide any of my feelings, or pretend to confide feelings which I may or may not have, in front of Oprah and a studio audience. I would not try to cure Katie of her thetans. I would not steer her away from the path of Xenu. She’s pretty hot, and in this scenario she thinks I’m pretty hot, too, and we are boinking on a semi-regular basis. Taking away Xenu or the thetans might upset the delicate balance and reduce the net amount of nookie, and I am _too cool_ (see above) to let this happen. I feel sorry for Katie, for thinking that this is the “star” she’s hitching her wagon to, in the same way you would feel bad for someone who discovered AOL last week and confides in you that “this internet thing will be a great investment once it takes off.” She has missed the boat and now she must learn to swim. ---
**Author:** ![Wartime\_Consigliori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9d8465/32.png) [@Wartime\_Consigliori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wartime_Consigliori)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/19 "2005-06-17T18:17:45Z")
Maybe all this nonsense will send him to that Magical Land where Ben Affleck has disappeared. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/20 "2005-06-17T18:40:44Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > First of all, you’re assuming that Tom Cruise is nailing Katie Holmes. Let’s make it perfectly clear that this fact is still… _ahem_… _disputed in some circles_. I think it only further illustrates my point. Tom Cruise has been dating her for about two months. Between rumors of her chastity and his sexuality and so on, they may not even be fooling around. Just dating, for two months. And they’ve embarrassed themselves in this public manner. Even if… actually can we change that to a ‘when?’ Yeah. _When_ Katie Holmes and I are an item, _when_ we’re having sex regularly, I will not make a fool of myself in public by jumping around on couches and yelling about it. Maybe I should change that ‘when’ back to an ‘if.’ At this point, I’ve got questions about Katie’s intelligence (to wit, “does she have any measurable amount thereof?”) that would keep me from dating her. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688.md?page=2)