# Cruise and Holmes engaged (to be married,obviously!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 17, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688 "2005-06-17T11:25:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/21 "2005-06-17T18:42:05Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > At this point, I’ve got questions about Katie’s intelligence (to wit, “does she have any measurable amount thereof?”) that would keep me from dating her. Meh, I’d still do her. ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/22 "2005-06-17T18:48:44Z")
> [@Cynical Optimist](#): > > Just imagine if the Michael/Lisa thing worked out. If you think Jacko is fucked up now, wait until he’s had a few hundred hours of auditing. :eek: I don’t even want to think about the things he’d have in his preclear folder… You are missing the obvious here. MICHAEL JACKSON IS XENU !!! You have been warned. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/23 "2005-06-17T18:50:09Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Meh, I’d still do her. You’ve got to admit it’d be tough to maintain, er, focus if she said “Honey, put on your tinfoil helmet on and close the door! I don’t want Xenu to see us!” while you were going at it. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/24 "2005-06-17T18:57:00Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > You’ve got to admit it’d be tough to maintain, er, focus if she said “Honey, put on your tinfoil helmet on and close the door! I don’t want Xenu to see us!” while you were going at it. I’m sure I could manage. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/25 "2005-06-17T19:49:30Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > I’m sure I could manage. “Uh huh. It is some pretty nice weather we’ve been having.” (grunt grunt) -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/26 "2005-06-17T20:32:50Z")
Huh. Y’all realize this is the second Bat-babe nailed by Cruise? I guess his fourth marriage will be to Yvonne Craig. ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/27 "2005-06-17T21:39:43Z")
This whole thing is bizarre, yes, but I’m wondering if maybe there isn’t some kind of calculated plan behind it. Total speculation here, but how 'bout this? The Cruise camp gets wind of somebody getting ready to go to the tabloids with a story about the star. Let’s say…(ahem) a personal trainer or massage therapist about to blab to the tabloids about _his_ affair with Cruise. Well. The Scientologists go into overdrive and find a willing starlet, famous but hardly on the A-list, who just happens to have a summer blockbuster coming out. Be Tommy’s girlfriend, loudly and publically, and you’ll be on every talk show and magazine cover you can imagine. You’ll have to sign a contract and convert to Scientology and everything else will be taken care of. I don’t know. Maybe something like this. It’s the only thing that makes sense with this over-the-top affection these two are displaying with each other. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/28 "2005-06-18T03:19:14Z")
> [@Girl From Mars](#): > > According to [BBC](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/film/4102854.stm) news, Hollywood star Tom Cruise has become engaged to his girlfriend Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. Miss Hilton just _can’t_ keep out of the news can she?! :mad: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/29 "2005-06-18T05:09:10Z")
> [@Jurph](#): > > I would not propose to her somewhere as _tacky_ as the goddamned Eiffel Tower I was just on the top of the Eiffel Tower at night a few weeks ago. It _would_ be a beautiful place to propose marriage, if only we weren’t packed shoulder to shoulder with scores of other tourists. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/30 "2005-06-18T06:28:58Z")
Will Xenu be sitting on the bride’s side or the groom’s side? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/31 "2005-06-18T07:05:37Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > Will Xenu be sitting on the bride’s side or the groom’s side? There won’t be room. Too many thetans were invited. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/32 "2005-06-18T16:38:21Z")
Today the newspapers are saying “well, maybe this love is for real, since they are getting married.” Huh? In real life nobody thinks a love is more “real” if they rush into marriage after dating for just a few weeks. Especially with the big age difference. And a note to Walloon, above - Could it be that’s why he picked a place like the Eiffel Tower? Yes, it may be romantic, but it’ was also crawling with tourists, photographers, reporters… Yes, I’m a skeptic. Yes, I’m still offended by his comments re Brooke Shields use of medicine for depression. and Yes, I still feel sorry for his kids. Lots of money doesn’t entirely make up for an idiot father. ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/33 "2005-06-18T17:20:54Z")
I have not read anything about reporters and photographers being on the top of the Eiffel Tower with Cruise and Holmes. Have you? He said he was up there early in the morning, which is the least busy time of day. Maybe that’s how he avoided the crowds. ---
**Author:** ![sleeepy2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@sleeepy2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sleeepy2)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/34 "2005-06-18T18:14:03Z")
According to Howard Stern (now _that’s_ a dodgy way to start a post) Tom Cruise had an excellent publicist for years, and Tom recently fired her, replacing her with his sister. The old publicist knew enough to keep him mostly under wraps and tight-lipped. The sister is letting him run loose, and we’re all getting to see what an odd duck he’s been all along. Makes sense to me. If I were Katie’s dad, I’d be arranging the kidnapping/deprogramming right about now. ---
**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/35 "2005-06-18T23:09:00Z")
Hey Walloon – Yes the reports I read did say there were crowds around them. Obviously these reports (and I) could very well be wrong about the crowds. Sorry. Anyway, I still stand behind the rest of my post - skeptical, and amazed that anyone has such faith in such a short romance. I know there are some people who have fallen in love, married two weeks later and stayed married 50 years. But, like I say, I’m very skeptical that this is one of those instances. And I wonder what Tom will do next to embarassas his kids. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/36 "2005-06-19T00:16:55Z")
I agree with hat Jurph said above. Also the bit about the publicist seems to make sense. Perhaps Nicole has a few more brains than I ever gave her credit for. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/37 "2005-06-19T00:18:46Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > Perhaps Nicole has a few more brains than I ever gave her credit for. You didn’t see her on Letterman last week, I take it? Maybe it’s just the “Letterman Effect”, but she could’ve given Katie a run for her money on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy that night. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/38 "2005-06-19T00:39:16Z")
> [@sleeepy2](#): > > According to Howard Stern (now _that’s_ a dodgy way to start a post) Tom Cruise had an excellent publicist for years, and Tom recently fired her, replacing her with his sister. The old publicist knew enough to keep him mostly under wraps and tight-lipped. The sister is letting him run loose, and we’re all getting to see what an odd duck he’s been all along. Makes sense to me. I think you can find the same news from other sources, as I also heard it somewhere. Posted here via something else, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/39 "2005-06-19T04:58:45Z")
Has anyone else noticed that Tom is doing the comb forward version of a combover? Yep, I think he’s having a little mid-life crisis. Since Katie seems to think she’s going to be having babies sometime soon, I wonder whose sperm they’re going to use? Do Scientologists do cloning like that wacky French “religion”? Perhaps they can just extract some of his DNA from some cells and get the ball rolling that way? ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [June 19, 2005, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688/40 "2005-06-19T08:47:38Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > You didn’t see her on Letterman last week, I take it? > > Maybe it’s just the “Letterman Effect”, but she could’ve given Katie a run for her money on SNL Celebrity Jeopardy that night. Well, no. I don’t think we get Letterman here. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cruise-and-holmes-engaged-to-be-married-obviously/308688.md?page=3)