# Crunchy Cheetos are EVIL! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889 "2003-09-26T02:34:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ultraviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c77e96/32.png) [@Ultraviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ultraviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/1 "2003-09-26T02:34:56Z")
I’m sitting here, feeling physically ill due to the huge amount of these bastard Crunchy Cheetos I have eaten. And yet, I literally cannot stop eating them! What do they put in them, some kind of addictive drug?!? Help me!!! ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/2 "2003-09-26T02:41:25Z")
The secret ingredient is heroin! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/3 "2003-09-26T02:49:32Z")
(Crunchy Cheetos are EVIL!) …as opposed to squishy Cheetos? ---
**Author:** ![Ultraviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/c77e96/32.png) [@Ultraviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ultraviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/4 "2003-09-26T02:55:49Z")
Crunchy Cheetos are different from regular Cheetos. They are, well, crunchier (surprise!) and look different. I can stop eating regular Cheetos, but seem to have a problem with the crunchy ones. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/5 "2003-09-26T02:58:13Z")
Cheetos don’t faze me. I used to have a jones for Doritos, but now I can take them or leave them – usually leave them. No, as long as you keep away from me Terra Chips’ onion and garlic chips… (wiping drool off keyboard)… Excuse me. I have to go to the store. ---
**Author:** ![scotcho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/858c86/32.png) [@scotcho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotcho)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/6 "2003-09-26T05:54:59Z")
The worst are the “Flaming hot” cheetos. You eat a few and then your mouth starts burning… Soon you find yourself eating more and more of them because for some reason your mouth doesn’t burn when you’re eating the cheetos but then when you stop it just gets worse! Coming down off flaming hot cheetos is the worst thing ever. _dashes off to store_ –Scotcho ---
**Author:** ![TeaElle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8491ac/32.png) [@TeaElle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TeaElle)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/7 "2003-09-26T07:18:52Z")
Taking a cue from the people at KFC, they’ve added a special secret chemical which makes you crave them fortnightly, and eat them compulsively once you have them. It’s all a part of the great plan of the Triumvirate, a secret organization made up of the richest and most powerful people in the world, of which The Colonel was a member, that bastard with his wee, beady eyes. ---
**Author:** ![terd\_ferguson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@terd\_ferguson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terd_ferguson)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/8 "2003-09-26T07:20:20Z")
One of the most impressive eating feats I have witnessed was watching a friend of mine put away a whole bag of cheetos. Not that it is an excessive amount of food, just after a while the cheesey artifical flavoring kind of gets to you. Or me at least. It would be like drinking a gallon of milk in one sitting. ---
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/9 "2003-09-26T07:23:32Z")
What’s so wondrous about Cheetos is not the addictive nature, but that after you eat them, you have a cheesy coating on your fingers that you can lick off. It’s kind of like dessert after your Cheetos. ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/10 "2003-09-26T07:46:14Z")
That would be the affliction known as _fromage digititus_. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/11 "2003-09-26T08:17:26Z")
The most evil thing is that you can’t do anything else when you eat them. Unless you want some f.d. all over your keyboard, your mouse, your remote, your fly, in your hair. Unless your a man and you’re planning on cleaning those pants tonight anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-cheetos-are-evil/203889/12 "2003-09-26T08:20:44Z")
Ick. That’s all I have to say. Somehow, I am immune to the call of the Crunchy Cheeto. Though they do come in gnarly, twisted shapes. As a kid, our babysitter used to serve them with lunch, and may sister and I had much more fun playing with them than eating them. “Ooooh, big club! Og smash! Rowwwwr!”