# Crunchy Frog is getting married... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 9, 2000, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309 "2000-10-09T21:05:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/21 "2000-10-09T22:57:09Z")
it it damn ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2000, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/22 "2000-10-09T23:13:05Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by little_bit \* > \*\* > Zoggie - listen here you little under-aged trollop. Don’t make me shove boquet down your throat. 🙂 (actually, I’m not worried. I’ll keep the groom so worn out he won’t have the strength for anyone else) \*\* Ohh, sounds like quite the challenge I need! Why is it i have already managed to alienate two other female Dopers, over a guy matter? Is it something innately Zoggie? ---
**Author:** ![Lnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/fbc32d/32.png) [@Lnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lnix)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/23 "2000-10-10T00:14:42Z")
Ooooh Ooooh (raises hand) Can I be the slutty cousin with purple hair who may or may not be drunk and sits with a sneer on her face the whole time and you had to invite her cause your mom would be pissed if you didn’t? Please? ---
**Author:** ![Silo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@Silo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silo)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/24 "2000-10-10T00:28:38Z")
OOooH! Can I be the guy that throws rice! ---
**Author:** ![deb2world](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@deb2world](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/deb2world)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/25 "2000-10-10T00:44:46Z")
I do not approve of any of this. The engagement should last at least 2 weeks, what is happening to the world young people just going off to get married. So I can be that guest that is never satisfied and sorta gossipy. I will of course have to go out and buy some support hose. What shade of wig should I get? ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/26 "2000-10-10T00:51:52Z")
I’d like to state my willingness to be the lesbian therapist. (I’ve been told that it’s redundant, but hey.) Crunchy Frog: I was going to actively persue you, based on the fact that we could ogle breasts together… but then I realized your destiny of true love. Besides, quietgirl would smack me. ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/27 "2000-10-10T01:11:15Z")
little\*bit - As your maiden of honor - I have the emergency kit, including, but not limited to: [ul] [li]two extra pairs of stockings (ALWAYS carry extra pantyhose - just a rule of life)[/li][li]club soda for cleaning off the dress when someone spills something on it (seen it happen at every wedding I’ve attended)[/li][li]extra safety pins and sewing kit for when Jack Batty goes to dance with you and drunkenly steps on the train, leaving a 2-foot long gash in the material (aunt’s wedding, 1972)[/li][/ul] I’ve also taken the liberty of sewing the rings down to the ringbearer’s pillow, so there won’t be any panic looking for them when the ringbearer throws a temper tantrum and runs down the aisle (cousin’s wedding, 1981 - ring rolled under the 4th pew and everyone had to get up to look for it.) Bad news - the church soloist has quit - mortified after accidentally belching into the microphone at the start of the processional (cousin’s wedding, 1987). Found a possible replacement - college group - harp and recorder (friend’s wedding, 1994. Better than the church organist who launches into ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ halfway through the processional. (UL/snopes) Unsolicited advice - avoid a cake with pillars supporting the upper layers - they tend to topple (cousins’ and friends’ weddings in 1972, 1977, 1984, 1985 [ya think they’d learn by now], 1988, 1991, 1993, 1996, 1999). I was nowhere near the table for those. Only my 2nd cousin’s wedding in 1968. That one was me. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/28 "2000-10-10T02:05:05Z")
Awright. If I can’t be in the band, can I be a groomsman? I’d like to be the perverted one that hits on all the bridesmaids and makes the mother of the bride roll her eyes. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@The\_Asbestos\_Mango](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Asbestos_Mango)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/29 "2000-10-10T02:14:57Z")
:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![LazarusLong42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/87869e/32.png) [@LazarusLong42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LazarusLong42)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/30 "2000-10-10T02:16:51Z")
Still in need of another bridesmaid? I’ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid, but all of my girl friends seem to want _females_ as their bridesmaids. I don’t understand why. \ I’ll wear a dress!! Really I will!! LL ---
**Author:** ![hypergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/49beb7/32.png) [@hypergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hypergirl)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/31 "2000-10-10T02:26:30Z")
I’ll be a bridesmaid, I guess. I’m sure I’ll look better in the dress than Lazarus would? Just one question? Can I wear fishnets under my dress? I just got them and I love them and they make my legs look hot. ---
**Author:** ![cheezit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@cheezit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheezit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/32 "2000-10-10T02:35:34Z")
Ummm…Anybody seen the groom? When is this shindig going to be, anyway? Hope he gets here on time. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309/33 "2000-10-10T05:23:02Z")
To everyone who replied to this thread, I’m sure we can find a place for all of you in the wedding. I just need you all to please move to [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=41575) thread. I’m going to ask that this one be closed because it’s too hard for me to keep track of both of them & it was really started as more of a wedding announcement. See you in the other thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frog-is-getting-married/36309.md?page=1)