# Crunchy Frog's Bachelor Party!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402 "2000-10-10T14:51:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/1 "2000-10-10T14:51:46Z")
Yes, that’s right, everybody’s favorite amphibian is getting married to none other than little\*bit! Sure, they’re a cute couple, but, as the best man, it’s my job to get as close to ruining the wedding in one night as possible, without actually doing so. So, currently, we’re set up in an old, abandoned airplane hanger. Don’t worry, I “talked” to the cops, we shouldn’t have a problem. Now, as for the goods, we’ve currently got: a freight trains of booze, to guaruntee and inexhaustable bar, tended by yours truly. An entourage of strippers, though we could always use some more, if any of yooze ladies are interested. Any kind of junk food imaginable, be it ice cream, pizza, or Ukelele Ike’s lard-fried chicken. And, of course, polaroid cameras for everybody, case ol’ Crunch decides to embarrass hisself. So, come on in, grab a drink, and lets see if we can’t find a use for all these discarded airplane parts. Ooh! A jet engine! ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/2 "2000-10-10T14:53:48Z")
\*grabs a drink, starts a’ singin’ and wondering what would happen if we hooked up that jet engine to… hmmmm… ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/3 "2000-10-10T14:55:55Z")
I suggest you try Zoggie as a stripper. She’s already declared her intention to try & seduce Ron before the wedding. Might as well give her a fair shot.😃 I’m not too worried. I’m pretty sure I can think of _something_ to keep his interest. The suggestion in my sig was one of my more tame amusements. ---
**Author:** ![Cumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@Cumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumber)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/4 "2000-10-10T14:58:36Z")
Is the bride supposed to turn up to the bachelor party? ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/5 "2000-10-10T14:59:57Z")
Little\*bit–do like my wife did before my bach bash–give him the best tied-up-and-blindfolded full-body massage and blowjob ever. He won’t care about the strippers a bit. Unless he’s got a quick recoup time, in which case you might have to do him twice. Count me in on the party, though. Hell, the married guys are who it’s for anyhow, not the groom. He’s getting some tomorrow night and we’re probably not. ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/6 "2000-10-10T15:00:17Z")
No she’s not!!! Go away little\*bit!!! You know we love you BUT… Go to your hens night already!! And no, we’re not mixing the two ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/7 "2000-10-10T15:13:26Z")
Ok, here I am! Where’s the strippers? Where’s my gifts? Where’s the strippers? What the hell is my virtual fiance doing here? Where the hell are my strippers!?!? ---
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/8 "2000-10-10T15:20:32Z")
_escorts the fiancee outside_ Soory little\*bit but rules is rules. Now back to the drinking. I might have to leave early if I get this other gig… Cheers Crunchy _signals the two ‘cheerleader’ strippers to come over and start for us_ ---
**Author:** ![Cumber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5ac83/32.png) [@Cumber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumber)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/9 "2000-10-10T15:22:53Z")
And was I supposed to be invited or can I just turn up for free food/drinks/polaroid cameras/airplane bits? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/10 "2000-10-10T15:24:16Z")
hey, we need to settle the entertainment… …drinks? Take a seat at the bar on the left… …food? Take a seat at the buffet on the right… …dancers here for an audition? Take your seat on my lap right here… ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/11 "2000-10-10T16:09:25Z")
dpr - Pass me that lampshade. _Carves two holes in it with a pocketknife. Places lampshade firmly on head._ Hey, look guys! I’m that weird dude from Fat Albert. Who wants to do flaming 151 shots? And where the hell are those strippers? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/12 "2000-10-10T16:14:36Z")
I’ll do some shots with you **Thespos** since there’s _no strippers to be seen anywhere_. Do you see any strippers? I don’t see any strippers. Oh **JESTER**. . . ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/13 "2000-10-10T16:23:51Z")
::walks in with a projector and banker box:: I brought the stag films. What the fuck do you mean, “They have those on tape now!”? I just spent all day trying to find a damn bulb for this projector. No. Trust me on this. You’ve never seen anything till you’ve seen one the size of the side of a hanger. It’s just like you could walk inside of the sucker. ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/14 "2000-10-10T16:33:00Z")
Get over here, Crunchy Frog. You have to pay the price for leaving the ranks of the cyber-single. _pours two double shots of 151_ And now, a toast. Here’s to the breezes That blows through the treezes And lifts the skirt above the kneezes (unintelligible drunken mumbling) Down the hatch! _slurp_ Wooooo Hooooo! Jester, where in the heck is the “entertainment?” I’m losing my freaking mind over here. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/15 "2000-10-10T17:46:45Z")
If this party doesn’t get overrun with nekkid wimmins soon, I may have to find a new best man. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/16 "2000-10-10T17:49:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jesuslynch \* > \*\*::walks in with a projector and banker box:: > > I brought the stag films.\*\* [Hank Hill] What the hell . . . [/Hank Hill] What are we watching here? Um, **jesuslynch** , I’ve only been to a couple bachelor parties in my time, but it’s always been my understanding that the stag films didn’t involve any actual deer. ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/17 "2000-10-10T17:55:35Z")
Hey, **jesuslynch** , how 'bout you thread up this film? **"Debbie Does Dopers"** This better not be one of those bulimic bachelor parties. I didn’t come here to see the cake jump out of the girl. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/18 "2000-10-10T18:22:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > \*\*…dancers here for an audition? \*\* You know, if you all expected to hold auditions, you should have done that in advance… ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/19 "2000-10-10T18:27:05Z")
Ok. I got this threaded up. chi,chi,chi,chi… See! See! Look at the size of that! Let’s see someone do that with a vcr. OMG, **she is** doing it with a vcr. Debbie! Debbie! Debbie! Nice choice **Wolf**. **Crunchy** , I’m gonna show the stuff with the stags around midnight. You better stay sober for that. Now, where’s the keg? ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2000, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402/20 "2000-10-10T18:31:49Z")
Hey, is the the party that’s looking for a stripper? 38-26-38, does that mean anything to you fellas? Since it’s Crunchy Frog’s big night, then I’ll be the entertainment. (even though the groom already had a preview in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28363) thread 😉 ) I’m wearing tight silver spandex pants with a smokey grey see-through top that shows my black peek-a-boo bra. My long mahogany brown hair alternately covers and reveals my “charms” as I sashay into the room. :looking around: So will someone get the music ready? Don’t forget your dollar bills, gentlemen. 😉 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-bachelor-party/36402.md?page=2)