# Crunchy Frog's New and Improved Welcome Wagon, everyone invited **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067 "2001-04-23T23:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [July 5, 2001, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/201 "2001-07-05T18:44:19Z")
Yay Abby! Yay Me! I’ve _finally_ been welcomed! (happy dance) ---
**Author:** ![JustAskAnyone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b4bc9f/32.png) [@JustAskAnyone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustAskAnyone)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/202 "2001-07-16T12:36:06Z")
I’m a twenty year old tall skinny (male) college student majoring in History (read: unemployment). Welcome me please! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Big\_Cheese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8baadc/32.png) [@The\_Big\_Cheese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Big_Cheese)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/203 "2001-07-16T13:20:27Z")
Welcome me, dammit. OK. My name is, oh you know my name. I’m a 41 yr old programmer in Madison Wis. USA I usually hate my job, I get all the shit work, but I bet I’d hate JAVA even more. I had a question I had to ask a couple months ago so I joined up, the price was right. I still say ‘bubbler’ instead of water fountain. I ride my bike a lot when there isn’t any snow around. I sleep 5 hours a night. I’m always nervous when I post, I’m afraid of looking stupid. I’m a veggie and use salsa as a condiment on veggie burgers-hate mustard. There’s a mustard museum 10 miles from my house. Who is this Opal person and should I bow down in her presence??? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/204 "2001-10-11T03:26:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by JustAskAnyone_ > **Resurrecting this thread > I’m a twenty year old tall skinny (male) college student majoring in History (read: unemployment).** Yeah, gave me a lot to work with there. Thanks a lot, sparky. > [@](#): > > **Welcome me please!** No. You’re boring. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by The Big Cheese \* > **Welcome me, dammit.** Way to get on my good side. > [@](#): > > \*\* I’m a 41 yr old programmer in Madison Wis. USA I usually hate my job, I get all the shit work, but I bet I’d hate JAVA even more. I had a question I had to ask a couple months ago so I joined up, the price was right.\*\* Oh, a doper who hates his job. How new and exciting. ::yawn:: > [@](#): > > \*\*I still say ‘bubbler’ instead of water fountain. I ride my bike a lot when there isn’t any snow around. I sleep 5 hours a night. \*\* This is easy. 1. Stop saying ‘bubbler.’ The proper term is bidet and you’re not supposed to drink from them. 2. I sleep 5 hours a night too, preceeded by 2 hours of sleep and directly followed by another hour and a half. Then I wake up, pee, and go back to bed for another quick hour long nap. > [@](#): > > \*\* I’m always nervous when I post, I’m afraid of looking stupid. \*\* Heed your instincts. > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m a veggie and use salsa as a condiment on veggie burgers-hate mustard. There’s a mustard museum 10 miles from my house. \*\* Ok, I’ll bypass the obvious calling you a cucumber jokes to say EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT CONDIMENTS ALREADY!!! You’re a bunch of sheep! > [@](#): > > \*\*Who is this Opal person and should I bow down in her presence??? \*\* ::sigh:: I explained the Opal thing earlier in this thread. And the only person you bow down to in my thread is ME. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_s\_Company](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@Misery\_s\_Company](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_s_Company)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/205 "2001-10-11T03:43:30Z")
Hey! I was lured here by others who will remain nameless. And I haven’t been able to leave… When I am not doing this, I am an accountant by day, and a musician by night… MLC is my perfect match, because we are so different from each other. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/206 "2001-10-11T04:06:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Misery’s Company \* > **Hey! I was lured here by others who will remain nameless. And I haven’t been able to leave…** Not saying their names here won’t help them. When I find out who it was they shall be duly punished. > [@](#): > > **When I am not doing this, I am an accountant by day, and a musician by night…** An accountant/musician? Do you play elevator music to keep up the boring accountant stereotype? Or do you manage your friends books in exchange for sponging off them with no real job to maintain the musician sterotype? > [@](#): > > \*\*MLC is my perfect match, because we are so different from each other. \*\* MLC? What’s that? Mutton, Lettuce, and Cucumber sandwich? [Billy Crystal] When the mutton’s nice and lean… I love that, it’s so perky. [/Billy Crystal] ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/207 "2001-10-11T04:26:31Z")
I’m a diabetic, stay-at-home game-playing web-surfing Steeler fan. I live in a small town in Central Pennsylvania, and I’m grateful for the contact with the outside world through my satellite dishes. I’ve lived in New York state, Florida, North Carolina, Maryland, and Delaware, but I keep coming back here. Why? Family. Check out my website for my interests. Nice to meet you. ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/208 "2001-10-11T04:34:00Z")
Howdy Y’all! I’m a 20 year old male from Virginia, a student at a community college who has no idea what he wants to do with his life. I live in a yuppie ass community with my family, I work in a convenience store as a stocker and as a manager in Paintball/Skateboard shop. I have never really had any meaningful conversation with anyone here, so I would doubt that anyone really knows anything about me (or cares), so I figured I’d toss in my app with a friendly “WELCOME ME\< DAMMIT!” for good measure 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/209 "2001-10-11T04:37:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steelerphan \* > **I’m a diabetic, stay-at-home game-playing web-surfing Steeler fan.** I feel sorry for you on so many levels right now. It’s almost enough to forgo my usual treatment of the newbies I lure into these threads. Almost. \*\* > [@](#): > > Check out my website for my interests.\*\* ::sigh:: Another newbie who has yet to realize my Center-of-the-Universeness. > [@](#): > > \*\*Nice to meet you. \*\* Ok, I think it’s fairly obvious to all who’ve read these threads know how mistaken he is with this statement. ---
**Author:** ![Shera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Shera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shera)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/210 "2001-10-11T04:39:14Z")
I have been posting here for about five months, but no one knows who I am. That is my fault though becuase I haven’t really been trying to get myself known. I don’t have a witty sense of humour or anything productive to say. I am 20 years old and I am a waitress at a Chinese restaurant even though I am not Chinese. Oh, and I thought the condiment thing got old on the first page of this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/211 "2001-10-11T04:41:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TheOtherOne \* > **Howdy Y’all! > I’m a 20 year old male from Virginia, a student at a community college who has no idea what he wants to do with his life.** Welcome to the real world. > [@](#): > > \*\*I live in a yuppie ass community with my family, I work in a convenience store as a stocker and as a manager in Paintball/Skateboard shop. \*\* You live in an ASS?! > [@](#): > > \*\*I figured I’d toss in my app with a friendly “WELCOME ME\< DAMMIT!” for good measure 😃 \*\* Yeah, cuz the “welcome me dammit” line worked so well for the last guy. Just for that, I’m ending this welcome post prematurely. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/212 "2001-10-11T04:44:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shera \* > **I don’t have a witty sense of humour or anything productive to say. I am 20 years old and I am a waitress at a Chinese restaurant even though I am not Chinese.** I’m guessing by your condiment remark that you read this thread. If so then you know the rule about the nude pics. Get with the sending of said nekkid pics before I unleash my wrath, which I have named Fred, in your direction. > [@](#): > > \*\* Oh, and I thought the condiment thing got old on the first page of this thread. \*\* THANK YOU! For this line alone, you are spared the usual sarcastic quips. Now send the pix or your computer will self destruct in 5 days. ---
**Author:** ![sandpiper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@sandpiper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandpiper)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/213 "2001-10-11T04:56:50Z")
Hi - I’m a 38 year old female living in South Carolina. I’m a native Californian, I work in retail and I’m a mom to the coolest kids around. I’m addicted to coffee, online scrabble, …and now SDMB. It’s very nice to meet you 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kritter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a587f6/32.png) [@Kritter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kritter)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/214 "2001-10-11T07:41:14Z")
Hello crunch. I am 28. I live in middle Tennessee. I work in a factory. I have a wife and 4 kids. I lurked here for quite some time before posting not the friendliest place i’ve been but the posters are a little brighter and I realy enjoy that. oh, and lets stay away from the name. I’ts been done. ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/215 "2001-10-11T08:50:52Z")
Crunchy, I have been posting here for a month and a half, and thought it was time to come in here for your special brand of abuse. I am in my mid-20s and live in a crappy apartment in Western Canada (where it rains all the time) with my 2 roommates, who do not read the Straight Dope even though I leave the books conspicuosly lying around. I am a theatrical technician and a scenic painter. I have a cat. That’s about all. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Wump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ed655f/32.png) [@Wump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wump)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/216 "2001-10-11T09:31:08Z")
Well, i’ve been a member for a bit over a year now, and i figure i haven’t really been “welcomed” per se, so yeah… Boo hoo poor wump… whatever I’m a 6 foot 4, 18 year old male, i live in Calgary, Alberta, my house looks like a barn, but isn’t one,and i very rarely capitalize my "i"s’. I’m a cook in a restaurant (Chili’s texas grill) and have been for bout 10 months. it sucks, but that’s life, it sucks. No, wait, life would be good if it sucked, then i would spend less on hookers. Therefore, life must blow. Anyways, i’ve graduated high school, but that’s bout it for now. i’m taking a year off to decide what i want to do with my life. So far it’s not working at all. At the moment i’m trying to get a job out at a ski hill for the winter. i could write more about me here, but then, i could also go to sleep. Hmmmm, it’s 3:24am right now, easy decison. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/217 "2001-10-11T21:50:24Z")
> [@](#): > > _ **sandpiper** says:_ > \*\*Hi - I’m a 38 year old female living in South Carolina. I’m a native Californian, I work in retail and I’m a mom to the coolest kids around. I’m addicted to coffee, online scrabble, …and now SDMB. \*\* Ok, you’re female, so yada yada yada, send the nude pix, yada yada yada, something rude about working retail, yada yada, send nekked pics, yada. > [@](#): > > \*\*It’s very nice to meet you \*\* No it isn’t, as anyone who’s met me IRL can verify. I smell funny, 60% of my body is covered in boils, the other 40% is leaking some kind of pus. I have leprosy, crabs, lice, and pin worms. I have only 10 teeth total (7 of which I keep in my hip pocket) and I fart a lot. Nice to meet me indeed. > [@](#): > > _ **Krotchkritter** says:_ > **I live in middle Tennessee. I work in a factory. I have a wife and 4 kids.** I’m reading this and I get the exact same cadence in my head as, “Krotchkritter J. Fudd, millionaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.” > [@](#): > > **oh, and lets stay away from the name. I’ts been done.** Let’s stay away from the name? Well, I’ll do what I can, but posting in a thread like this with a name like that… so tempting… Let’s see, something simple, just to get it off my chest… _Krotchsniffer!_ Whew, I feel better now. Sorry man, I tried, but my willpower gave up on trying to help me back in the mid-90s. > [@](#): > > _ **meyer** pops in:_ > **I have been posting here for a month and a half, and thought it was time to come in here for your special brand of abuse.** Oh, I see. I _real_ adventure seeker! You want the _special brand_ of abuse and not the same old crap I spew at the other newbies, huh? Ok, take off your shirt and grab your ankles. We may have to continue in e-mail from there or risk getting the thread closed. > [@](#): > > \*\*I am in my mid-20s and live in a crappy apartment in Western Canada (where it rains all the time) with my 2 roommates, who do not read the Straight Dope even though I leave the books conspicuosly lying around. I am a theatrical technician and a scenic painter. I have a cat. That’s about all. \*\* Trade the cat in for a personality. It may help in your future endeavors. > [@](#): > > _ **Wump** posts:_ > **it sucks, but that’s life, it sucks. No, wait, life would be good if it sucked, then i would spend less on hookers. Therefore, life must blow.** Psst, young’in, c’mere. Blowing is good too. > [@](#): > > \*\*i’m taking a year off to decide what i want to do with my life. So far it’s not working at all. \*\* That’s what I want to do too. Figured that out a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![sandpiper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@sandpiper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandpiper)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/218 "2001-10-11T22:25:29Z")
Picture on it’s way … ---
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/219 "2001-10-12T02:18:19Z")
I wanna get welcomed by the one and only **Crunchy Frog** 1. Female 2. IRL, I’m married, but I have a virtual crush on **Mangetout** 3. Hi Opal! 4. Interests : travelling, scuba diving, sky diving, reading, studying, endurance riding. 5. The best sig I’ve seen so far was “Lurk before you leap” but I have no idea who had it. 6. The nekked pics are in the post 7. I’m an Australian _sniff_ : looks around furtively to see if anyone heard 8. The last time someone told me to bite them, I actually did, and their upper arm still bears the scar… so think before you say " bite me newbie" Go for it, Crunchy 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/220 "2001-10-12T04:11:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Goo \* > **1) Female > 2) IRL, I’m married, but I have a virtual crush on Mangetout** I refuse to recognize any crushes in this thread except those on me. > [@](#): > > **6) The nekked pics are in the post** And she gets -20 points for lying. Not a good start. Luckily, you’ll be able to raise your average for this course with the extra-credit handjobs. > [@](#): > > **8) The last time someone told me to bite them, I actually did, and their upper arm still bears the scar… so think before you say " bite me newbie"** _sigh_ Newbies acting tough again. Yeah, I love when this happens. I stopped with the “Bite Me Newbie” stuff a while ago. I tired of it in the first thread and it was brought back briefly in this thread just to shut some people up. But for your case, I’ll make an exception. _ahem_ **Goo** : Roses are red Violets are blue Rhymes fail me So just bite me, you toffee nosed, cloth-eared bint! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=12)