# Crunchy Frog's New and Improved Welcome Wagon, everyone invited **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067 "2001-04-23T23:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Essured](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Essured](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Essured)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/221 "2001-10-12T04:55:29Z")
Ha ! šŸ˜ƒ I just might use your poem as my sig line **Crunchy Frog** ā€¦ umm, where does the toffee nosed bit come from ? And the cloth-eared bit ? And whatā€™s a bint ??? Thanks for the welcome, anyway ! ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/222 "2001-10-12T05:34:15Z")
Iā€™m here to climb on the welcome wagon and receive my share of welcome abuse from the **Great and Powerful CRUNCHY FROG**. šŸ™‚ Iā€™m an MIS manager for a small Native American tribal government just outside of Albuquerque, NM. I also do network administration and database design consulting in my copious free time. Iā€™m a musician (vocalist and lyricist) currently in between gigs, other than some studio work. Iā€™m also a member of the [S.C.A.](http://www.sca.org), a medieval re-enactment group, and I have been a fencer for approximately the last 14 years. If that isnā€™t enough to work with, **Crunchy** , youā€™re losing your touch. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Ibme](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Ibme](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibme)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/223 "2001-10-12T06:09:47Z")
hellooooo, well, I figure this is the best place for a first post, so here goes. I am 29 and live and work in the Nashville TN area as an accounts manager for a cleaning service and at night I work in manufacturing. Iā€™m single _hello ladies_ and very out going ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/224 "2001-10-12T06:23:46Z")
Hi, my nameā€™s Asylum and I like Parcheezi. Well no, not really, nevermind that last bit. Iā€™m a twenty-six y.o. undergrad at UMBC majoring in sociology. Most people who go to school for eight years are doctors, me, I just decided to make school my career. Iā€™m currently behind in all my classes and posting here doesnā€™t help. But I canā€™t stop and now know what heroin is like. I work too many hours in a crappy job with good pay (yay unions!). And other than that have no real social life anymore due to my being sick of my current career of student and am actually now putting effort into my education along with working too many hours at my crappy job. ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/225 "2001-10-12T06:37:04Z")
Oops. Forgot to mention that Iā€™m also a male. And probably going to receive abuse for this. Well, at least I donā€™t have to send naked pics of myself. ---
**Author:** ![tavalla](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tavalla/32/89_2.png) [@tavalla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tavalla)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/226 "2001-10-12T07:09:39Z")
If you have a spare bit of sarcastic venom, Crunchy, you can send it this way. Female (you donā€™t want to see nekkid pics, just take that on faith), I have tattoos on my back and am a professional driveller of crap (ie commercial radio announcer). Iā€™ve been posting here only a few short months, and have committed grievous foot in mouth once that I know of in addition to posting unmitigated guff. And I love the mood jacket. Velvet, you said? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/227 "2001-10-12T22:37:50Z")
_ **Stiletto** _ says: > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m an MIS manager for a small Native American tribal government just outside of Albuquerque, NM. I also do network administration and database design consulting in my copious free time.** MIS? Man-boob International Society? Matadors for the Internment of Salamanders? Monkey Impregnation Service? > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m also a member of the S.C.A., a medieval re-enactment group,** A re-enactment of the medieval times. Something I never understood. Did they not get the medieval period right the first time, so it needs a remake? Considering some of the stuff that went on during that time, youā€™d think people would let it go already. Why the focus on medieval times? You never see anyone re-enacting Cro-Magnon Man banging a couple rocks together. Youā€™d never catch _me_ running around in weird clothes pretending to be in the medieval period. Unless I can be Robin Hood. Then Iā€™m all for it. Do you do the Spanish Inquisition re-enactments? _That_ would be something to see. > [@](#): > > \*\*and I have been a fencer for approximately the last 14 years. \*\* We do not discuss illegal activities in this thread. [sub]Psst, Iā€™d like a new stereo. Let me know if you come across any that ā€œfall off a truckā€[/sub] _ **Ibme** _ says: > [@](#): > > **hellooooo, well, I figure this is the best place for a first post, so here goes. I am 29 and live and work in the Nashville TN area as an accounts manager for a cleaning service and at night I work in manufacturing. Iā€™m single hello ladies and very out going** Ya got me. I see the ā€œhelloooooā€ and just dismiss everything that follows. All those ā€œOsā€ what could they mean? Is it code? Is it symbolic for something? Did the keyboard get sticky after downloading porn? Itā€™s a riddle inside of a mystery wrapped in an enigma. _ **Asylum** _ says: > [@](#): > > \*\*Hi, my nameā€™s Asylum and I like Parcheezi. Well no, not really, nevermind that last bit. \*\* Thereā€™s naught wrong with a game oā€™Parcheezi, lad! > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m a twenty-six y.o. undergrad at UMBC majoring in sociology. Most people who go to school for eight years are doctors, me, I just decided to make school my career. Iā€™m currently behind in all my classes and posting here doesnā€™t help.** Thereā€™s a cure for that, you know. Go into the Pit and start calling mods Nazis or Commies or something like that. Pretty soon, youā€™ll be able to focus on your classes again. > [@](#): > > **And other than that have no real social life anymore due to my being sick of my current career of student and am actually now putting effort into my education along with working too many hours at my crappy job.** Gee, what a sad, sad life you must lead. Hold on, Iā€™ll go light a candle and mourn for you. Ok, done. Now you can piss off and be happy. _ **Asylum** _ returns: > [@](#): > > **Oops. Forgot to mention that Iā€™m also a male. And probably going to receive abuse for this. Well, at least I donā€™t have to send naked pics of myself.** Didnā€™t I just tell you to piss off? \ ***tavalla** \* > [@](#): > > \*\*Female (you donā€™t want to see nekkid pics, just take that on faith), \*\* Look, as Iā€™ve said before (doesnā€™t anyone READ?) itā€™s not a matter of _wanting_ to see nude women. Itā€™s my job here. I have to examine all female newbies. I donā€™t like this any more than the next guy, but itā€™s my cross to bear.\*\* > [@](#): > > I have tattoos on my back and am a professional driveller of crap (ie commercial radio announcer). \*\* Tattoos on your back huh? I have tattoos on my back, arms, legs, and chest. I also have two extra nipples. Iā€™m not saying where though. ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/228 "2001-10-12T22:39:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Asylum \* > \*\*Oops. Forgot to mention that Iā€™m also a male. And probably going to receive abuse for this. Well, at least I donā€™t have to send naked pics of myself. \*\* Well, **Asylum** , since **Crunchy** hasnā€™t seen fit to come and abuse us yet, I just couldnā€™t wait any longer for this one. How do you forget that you are male? šŸ˜‰ Forgetting to mention it is one thingā€¦but just plain forgetting? Wowā€¦ (There are just so many places I could take this. šŸ˜ƒ ) * * * [sub]And of course, in order to cover my own assā€¦since I forgot to mention it earlier, Iā€™m male.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Asylum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@Asylum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asylum)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/229 "2001-10-12T23:13:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stiletto \* > > Well, **Asylum** , since **Crunchy** hasnā€™t seen fit to come and abuse us yet, I just couldnā€™t wait any longer for this one. How do you forget that you are male? šŸ˜‰ > > Forgetting to mention it is one thingā€¦but just plain forgetting? Wowā€¦ (There are just so many places I could take this. šŸ˜ƒ Hmm. Methinks someone posted a little quickly and is gonna get chewed out by **Crunchy**. As to how I can get my gender confused, well, weā€™ll have to start a thread on this later since **Crunchy** told me to piss off. ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/230 "2001-10-12T23:23:09Z")
Iā€™ve been posting since August, lurking long before that. Iā€™m male, 47, grad student in applied geography (whatever that is), married, two kids. Mustard is for hotdogs, along with dill pickle relish and chopped onions, unless you put saurkraut on it, when you just eat it that way. Welcome me, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![Payne\_N.Diaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b77776/32.png) [@Payne\_N.Diaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payne_N.Diaz)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/231 "2001-10-12T23:26:14Z")
Oops, I forgot to mention that I live in El Paso (no, I do not go to the sucky school, UTEP). Now, you may welcome me. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2001, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/232 "2001-10-12T23:28:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stiletto \* > \*\*How do you forget that you are male? \*\* From what I understand, the #1 cause of that form of amnesia is marriage. And **Stiletto** , you obviously donā€™t know my posting habits cuz youā€™re new, so Iā€™ll just explain the long wait for my reply: I post from work mostly. I hooked up WebTV at my house last week, but without the ability to cut & paste, I would have to quote and respond to each newbie individually. Thatā€™s a hassle and time-consuming, so I respond to multiple newbies from work only. ---
**Author:** ![Stiletto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@Stiletto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stiletto)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/233 "2001-10-13T03:34:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*MIS? Man-boob International Society? Matadors for the Internment of Salamanders? Monkey Impregnation Service? > \*\* Man-boob International Society? Wow, I guess they must have let you in without paying your dues, huh? Two extra nipples, indeed. > [@](#): > > **Why the focus on medieval times? You never see anyone re-enacting Cro-Magnon Man banging a couple rocks together. Youā€™d never catch _me_ running around in weird clothes pretending to be in the medieval period. Unless I can be Robin Hood. Then Iā€™m all for it.** What I wanna know is, why doesnā€™t anybody ever study _visigothic_ architecture, dammit? > [@](#): > > **Do you do the Spanish Inquisition re-enactments? _That_ would be something to see.** Yes, as a matter of fact, we _can_ do the spanish inquisition. Just please sign the waiver form _here_ and weā€™ll be on our way. šŸ™‚ I absolutely guarantee that it will be one of the most lifelike re-enactments youā€™ve ever seen. You have named a next-of-kin, havenā€™t you? I mean, itā€™s just a formalityā€¦ > [@](#): > > \*\*We do not discuss illegal activities in this thread. > [sub]Psst, Iā€™d like a new stereo. Let me know if you come across any that ā€œfall off a truckā€[/sub] \*\* Well, Iā€™m afraid Iā€™m a little busy to be going shopping for a new stereo for you, **Crunchy**. So I think Iā€™ll just have to take a rain-check, and respond with a hearty **Bite Me**. (I mean, after all, frogs donā€™t have the teeth for itā€¦reallyā€¦ [see for yourself](http://www.frogs.org/library/). šŸ˜ƒ Thanks for the ā€˜welcomeā€™ abuse **Crunchy**. ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/234 "2001-10-13T19:14:15Z")
Hello All, I work for a small helcopter company in Arizona. Iā€™m a veteran of the S.E. Asian war games. I Drive an old car, (1962 Hawk). I donā€™t have any hobbies, and I canā€™t sing or dance. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/235 "2001-10-14T06:45:56Z")
Iā€™m a 21 year old female who has no nekkid pics. I donā€™t like the St. Louis Cardinals, Iā€™m a cheap date, and I like to kiss up to **Crunchy Frog** (except where it concerns the Cardinals). Oh yeah, I have multiple careers and thereā€™s absolutely nothing notable about me. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/236 "2001-10-14T22:24:37Z")
**_Payne N. Diaz_ says:** > [@](#): > > **Iā€™ve been posting since August, lurking long before that. Iā€™m male, 47, grad student in applied geography (whatever that is), married, two kids.** What the hell? Thatā€™s all you have to say? I stopped masturbating to read _this_? And what do you mean youā€™re married to kids? Thatā€™s disgusting you perv! Kids shouldnā€™t be ā€“ oh, wait, I read that wrong. Nevermind. > [@](#): > > \*\*Mustard is for hotdogs, along with dill pickle relish and chopped onions, unless you put saurkraut on it, when you just eat it that way. \*\* Okay, all newbies pay attention. Are all the newbies reading this? Good. _The next person to mention condiments will NOT be welcomed._ _ **DaToad** says_: > [@](#): > > **I Drive an old car, (1962 Hawk).** You drive a Studebaker? Ok, **Toad** , you suck. I wonā€™t make fun of a vet, and the Hawk is a cool car so I canā€™t make fun of that. So you just suck. I have nothing to make fun of you about. Youā€™re a big pile of suck. Thereā€™s so much suck on the screen right now, my monitor is caving inwards. To paraphrase Homer Simpson, youā€™re the suckiest suck who ever sucked. \*\*\*lel \*_says:_ > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m a 21 year old female who has no nekkid pics.** Iā€™ll remedy that situation if we ever meet. šŸ˜‰ > [@](#): > > **I donā€™t like the St. Louis Cardinals, Iā€™m a cheap date, and I like to kiss up to Crunchy Frog (except where it concerns the Cardinals).** Two out of three ainā€™t bad. I donā€™t blame you for rooting for the D-backs. Somebody has to, right? ---
**Author:** ![goonhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ebca7d/32.png) [@goonhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/goonhead)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/237 "2001-10-15T05:55:57Z")
Ok, Iā€™m a 31 year old male from Utah, I work for an aerial photo / mapping company (as a GIS Technician, for those of you who know what that is). The most odd thing about me with regard to the straigthtdope boards is that I discovered them via the straigthtdope chatroom on Undernet. Most people find the chatroom after familiarizing themselves with the boards and the people posting therein, Iā€™m going at it backwards. And as for how I discovered the chatroom, letā€™s just say I sort of followed someone there who was chatting in another room I was in. Iā€™ve enjoyed the amount of lively chat in the chatroom, which makes the boards all the more overwhelming as there are lot more people to get to know, but Iā€™m up to the challenge. And not to blow my own trumpet, but Iā€™ve already got my own thread going šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Alma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alma)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/238 "2001-10-16T05:42:57Z")
Hi. Iā€™m in my late 20s, female, and from St. Louis. Along that line, Crunchy, Iā€™ve really enjoyed what youā€™ve said in other posts about the St. Louis _choke_ Blues. Uh, Iā€™m also the manager of a supposedly art-house chain movie theater (though not the coolest one in town, by far). And I guess thatā€™s probably all youā€™ll want to hear about. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Caiata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e56c9b/32.png) [@Caiata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caiata)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 7:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/239 "2001-10-16T07:39:09Z")
23-year-old female here, Iā€™ve not been abused yet so Iā€™m very much looking forward to it! [sub](about those nekkid pics ā€¦ uhh ā€¦ we like to pretend they donā€™t exist! So shhh! _nods_)[/sub] I havenā€™t read the whole thread 'cause 200+ posts is a _lot_, so I donā€™t know whatā€™s up with the St. Louis Cardinals thing, but Iā€™m originally from St. Louis and the Cards are in my blood, I think Iā€™m going to cry now ā€¦ damn Arizona ā€¦ _sniffle_ I am a 14-year member of the S.C.A. as well, except I donā€™t fence _grins - Iā€™m sweet and innocent, I dun do nothinā€™ illegal-like!_ ā€¦ I was, however, a dance instructor. Ooh, I belly-dance, does that help? ;D > [@](#): > > _From Crunchy!:_ > > A re-enactment of the medieval times. Something I never understood. Did they not get the medieval period right the first time, so it needs a remake? Considering some of the stuff that went on during that time, youā€™d think people would let it go already. Yeah, pretty much. They left in all the death and the plague bits, and we take them out šŸ˜‰ It makes it more fun. Oh, and we add more massive orgies ā€¦ _nods solemnly_ Currently work for the post office (yes, thatā€™s right, Iā€™m an easy target!), living in the Tropical Cornfields of Indianalia (er, Indiana) and planning to move to Australia at the end of 2002. 'Cause like. Cricket rules šŸ˜ƒ Ohyeah. And Crunchy Frogs are sexy. _nods_ There. I think Iā€™m done now. _kneels and lowers her head and submits to the abuse!! šŸ˜ƒ_ ---
**Author:** ![Rye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e56c9b/32.png) [@Rye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rye)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/240 "2001-10-16T07:43:11Z")
Hi Iā€™m a 12 year old little bastard in california. I have a disease called fibor myalgia and it causes me to be in a lot of pain, loss of sleep, and tired all the time. I canā€™t go to school and I donā€™t have any friends, I like to read these boards because itā€™s about the only time I can ā€œTalkā€ to other people besides my family. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=13)