# Crunchy Frog's New and Improved Welcome Wagon, everyone invited **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067 "2001-04-23T23:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/301 "2001-11-13T13:03:46Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by saffostarr \* > [@](#): > > ::peek:: Come out and play! \ > [@](#): > > Um, hi. I’m new. ::shuffling of feet:: And very nervous. Don’t have an accident, I just mopped up after **Crunchy** > [@](#): > > I’m Saffs. Long-time lurker who finally got some chutzpah and registered and has been posting WAY too much in the twelve hours I’ve been registered. Welcome to the carmel covered crack that is the SDMB. Already dependent? We hooked another one, tee hee. > [@](#): > > I know classics and Greek and stuff, so if you’ve ever wondered what John 3:16 sounds like in Greek I’m your man. Er, woman. What a cowinkydink, I know Greek too! Oh, you mean the literature, not the sex act. Oops. Seems like you got some gender confusion issues. When you figure them out, send the naked pics to the appropiate greeter. > [@](#): > > I consider myself a writer; others consider me a hack. I consider myself normal, YMMV. > [@](#): > > I roleplay online on AOHell – their roleplaying forum is the ONLY reason I hang around there so don’t get any funny ideas about me based on my dependence upon inferior Internet software or any of the other stuff people spew at me when lambasting my AOL-ness. Whoo hoo, another RPG geek. Please do not attack me with your powers of magic. > [@](#): > > I am a college student and quite lacking in funny at 1:30 in the morning. Otherwise, I’m quite mundane. Mundane? Naah, you’re extra super geeky. > [@](#): > > And I shall now wait to be greeted. w00t. NO LEET SPEAK! Death to the next leet speaker! I have a hockey stick and PMS, do NOT test me ---
**Author:** ![Gartog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/22d042/32.png) [@Gartog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gartog)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/302 "2001-11-13T13:13:58Z")
h@r5ygrr7 r0x! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2001, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/303 "2001-11-13T23:40:16Z")
Wow. Two missed Python references and a ton of missed cheap shots. If I wasn’t so doped up on meds right now, I’d jump in here just to post about how badly **hardygrrl** sucks at this. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/304 "2001-11-14T02:31:26Z")
**Crunchy** , you just _wish_ I sucked. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/305 "2001-11-14T04:46:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gartog \* > \*\*h@r5ygrr7 r0x! \*\* ::Skates in. Spots Leet Speaker. Goes into **Denis Savard** Mode and beats Gartog into a toothless, whimpering heap:: NEXT! ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/306 "2001-11-14T05:25:12Z")
Eep! ::quivers properly in the face of **hardygrrl** ’s fury:: Yes ma’am! Whatever you say ma’am! No more l33tsp34k, I promise. Just don’t hurt meeee! :😭: ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/307 "2001-11-14T14:44:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > \*\*::Skates in. Spots Leet Speaker. Goes into **Denis Savard** Mode and beats Gartog into a toothless, whimpering heap:: > > NEXT! \*\* See what I mean? Resorting to violence instead of using her wit. ::sigh:: And I’m assuming Denis Savard is either a hockey player or a wrestler… ---
**Author:** ![Rae\_of\_Dawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce7236/32.png) [@Rae\_of\_Dawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rae_of_Dawn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/308 "2001-11-20T17:43:28Z")
I was given a link to this place by a friend, who I will beat with a wet noodle the next time I see him, it’s not nice to send addictive material through the net. 🙂 I’m married, I have 2 children (both boys), I grew up in Louisiana and I’m presently living in Washington State. Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know the answer too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DrFrasierCrane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@DrFrasierCrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFrasierCrane)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/309 "2001-11-20T18:33:56Z")
Since I’m the one who introduced Rae of Dawn to the site, I’m just wondering how serious she is about that wet noodle comment… Growl! ---
**Author:** ![Rae\_of\_Dawn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce7236/32.png) [@Rae\_of\_Dawn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rae_of_Dawn)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/310 "2001-11-20T18:48:57Z")
That’s a promise. But you know it’s me who likes the spanking. 🙂 Is turn about fair play? ---
**Author:** ![DrFrasierCrane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@DrFrasierCrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFrasierCrane)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/311 "2001-11-20T19:13:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rae of Dawn \* > \*\*That’s a promise. But you know it’s me who likes the spanking. 🙂 Is turn about fair play? \*\* Ohhhhh, yeah… 😛 But I think we’re getting this thread off-topic. ---
**Author:** ![Lagasek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e99b99/32.png) [@Lagasek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lagasek)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/312 "2001-11-20T19:14:38Z")
Hi folks, My name is not Lagasek, but it’s what they call me, pilgrim. I’ve been a Straight Dope reader for some years, and finally decided to join in. I workeded for Cecil’s juvenile Feline Cousin… Dr. Universe, (www.wsu.edu/druniverse) and realize I’d found my true home with the Straight Dope. Anyway… WELCOME ME, DAMMIT! ---
**Author:** ![BarbieOrBritney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47774/32.png) [@BarbieOrBritney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarbieOrBritney)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/313 "2001-11-20T20:57:02Z")
Hi _smiles_ I’m a tiny blonde high school student from the Jersey Shore, I’m very involved in my school (it’s Catholic…but I’m not going to say which) and I’m a cheerleading coach during the summers. I like going out, shopping, Disneyworld, tropical locations, chocolate, make-up, talking to my friends, and generally having fun. I’m single as of now, and I absolutely love pop/dance/Top 40/80s music, and even some rock and rap. ---
**Author:** ![Jonno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f19dbf/32.png) [@Jonno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonno)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/314 "2001-11-20T21:25:28Z")
And here we go. I’m 33 at last count, live in sunny southern California, and work part-time at lots of different stuff. I’m indecisive about a career, leave me alone. I read LOTS, sing, act, blow things up, love roller coasters, football, rodeo and camping. I LOVE black jelly beans and Tori Amos. Introduced to the Straight Dope many years back by a good friend, ended up here lurking amongst ya’ll for quite a while. Finally decided the water actually looked fine, and dove in. Here I am, apparently attending my first Dopefest thing soon. Oh, and Crunchy Frog is my hero[sub]working on my ass kissing, how was that?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/315 "2001-11-23T22:51:52Z")
Oh look! A herd of newbie! And yes, these guys get the real deal, **Crunchy Frog** himself to welcome you instead of that hockey stick wielding, WWF watching psycho **hardygrrl**. **Rae of Dawn** says (after I make the obligatory comment about wanting to wake up to the crack of Dawn, yada yada yada): > [@](#): > > **Wonder if this is still being watched… > I was given a link to this place by a friend, who I will beat with a wet noodle the next time I see him, it’s not nice to send addictive material through the net.** This is being watched like a… er… like a… big giant watched thing… or something. Ah, fuck it. And wet noodles beatings are _so_ 5 minutes ago. Today the truly hip use a shoelace with the little plastic thing missing and the end all frayed. And yes, I know the little plastic thing is called an aglet, so we don’t need any newbies seeing that line as an opportunity to show off their vocabulary. > [@](#): > > **I’m married, I have 2 children (both boys), I grew up in Louisiana and I’m presently living in Washington State.** Mm-hmmm. Nothing to work with there, **Rae-Rae**. I’m fresh out of Creole jokes and Washington is to dull to even look at on a map without getting drowsy. Go away and come back when you have a personality. > [@](#): > > **Don’t ask questions you don’t really want to know the answer too.** Oh yeah? Well you’re not the boss of me! I’ll ask whatever I want! Watch: Do these pants make me look fat? Is this zit on my nose really that noticeable? Was it good for you too? Heh. That’ll learn ya! **DrFrasierCrane** is listening: > [@](#): > > \*\*Promise? > Since I’m the one who introduced Rae of Dawn to the site, I’m just wondering how serious she is about that wet noodle comment… > > Growl!\*\* Oh shut up and do your flirting somewhere else. This is the Welcome Wagon, not a playground for lonely horny guys trying to get some cyber action (myself excluded). **Rae of Dawn** returns: > [@](#): > > \*\* Growls > That’s a promise. But you know it’s me who likes the spanking. Is turn about fair play?\*\* See my message to your cyber boyfriend. Do not hijack this thread or I will be forced to spank the lot of you. **Lagasek** comes in with a welcome dose of in-check hormones: > [@](#): > > **Hi folks, My name is not Lagasek, but it’s what they call me, pilgrim.** I’m confused. Do they call you **Lagasek** or **pilgrim**? If so, why? Who are they? What do they want? Tell them to _leave me alone_!!! They’re always talking, always in my head!!! Um… sorry about that. It appears to be medication time. > [@](#): > > \*\*Anyway… > WELCOME ME, DAMMIT! \*\*Just for that, no. At least you didn’t mention mustard. **BarbieOrBritney** says: > [@](#): > > **Hi _smiles_ I’m a tiny blonde high school student from the Jersey Shore, I’m very involved in my school (it’s Catholic…but I’m not going to say which) and I’m a cheerleading coach during the summers.** In high school? Damn. Ok, then keep your nekkid pix for a few more years and email me when you turn 18. > [@](#): > > **I like going out, shopping, Disneyworld, tropical locations, chocolate, make-up, talking to my friends, and generally having fun.** Oh look, another teen stereotype shattered. :rolleyes: I don’t suppose _reading_ ever crossed your mind or watching educational documentaries on PBS. It’s always party, party, party for you kids today! It’s not like when I was a kid and we used to do worthwhile things in our spare time! For example, we would… er… look this isn’t about me anyway! Go read a book! > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m single as of now, \*\* Yeah, I didn’t know too many married girls in high school either. It tended to get in the way of dating. BTW, you do realize your username is going to be abbreviated as BOB, right? **CelticCowboy** bellies up to the bar: > [@](#): > > **I read LOTS, sing, act, blow things up, love roller coasters, football, rodeo and camping. I LOVE black jelly beans and Tori Amos.** Dude! We are so alike! Can we, like, be best friends and shit? We like all the same things - except for the bit about singing, blowing things up, roller coasters, rodeo, camping and Tori Amos. But I like black jelly beans. I hate Tori Amos. Bitch gave me the clap. (For **BOB** above, the clap is this thing that happens sometimes when grown-ups are naughty and do the special Hug of Love without protection.) > [@](#): > > \*\*Oh, and Crunchy Frog is my hero [sub]working on my ass kissing, how was that?[/sub] \*\* Dude, ya don’t announce you’re kissing ass, you just kiss it! And just cuz I’ve been away for a bit and am feeling better now: You can all bite me. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/316 "2001-11-23T23:01:54Z")
Hey, **Crunch** , can I try out for a positin as a Welcome Wagoneer? For qualifications, I’ve got lots of bottled-up aggression and bitterness, and feel like taking it out on some defenseless newcomers. Am I in? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/317 "2001-11-23T23:11:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jester \* > \*\*Hey, **Crunch** , can I try out for a positin as a Welcome Wagoneer? For qualifications, I’ve got lots of bottled-up aggression and bitterness, and feel like taking it out on some defenseless newcomers. Am I in? \*\* There’s no try outs. When I was out cuz of the surgery, **hardygrrl** just showed up to welcome people, it wasn’t a pre-planned thing. And don’t get cranky if I rip on you as much as anyone else in here. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2001, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/318 "2001-11-23T23:47:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \*Oh look! A herd of newbie! And yes, these guys get the real deal, **Crunchy Frog** himself to welcome you instead of that hockey stick wielding, WWF watching psycho **hardygrrl**. Small typo there **Crunchy**. It’s _punk rock girly girl_, not _psycho_. And is “WWF watching” supposed to be an insult? :rolleyes: [sub]Pats herself on the back for resisting the temptation. She _could_ have hit him with her hockey stick or given him the Van Daminator, but she successfully resisted, oh shit am I typing this?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/319 "2001-11-24T00:13:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hardygrrl \* > **And is “WWF watching” supposed to be an insult? :rolleyes:** No, that’s supposed to be _you_. Or have you suddenly stopped watching WWF and playing hockey? When I insult you, you’ll know. ---
**Author:** ![DMAAN](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/278dde/32.png) [@DMAAN](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMAAN)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2001, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/320 "2001-11-24T00:23:31Z")
I’m a frenchman educated in english so I’m not really sure of what I am. I out-geek most people as I was a tech on computers when 1K of mem was a lot. The darn things were big. I’m 41, married and the dad of one girl of 8 yrs. I write sf shorts and have had 5 published to date. SDMB rules!! d [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=17)