# Crunchy Frog's New and Improved Welcome Wagon, everyone invited **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067 "2001-04-23T23:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/41 "2001-04-24T04:19:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Arden Ranger \* > \*\*All we got was the ever so melodious “Bite Me!” \*\* Hey Arden, good luck on getting a “bite me” now or even a lick for that matter. Is it just me or does Monsieur Frog seem just a wee bit cranky tonight? 😛 Welcome back Crunchy. [sub]bite me[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![eunoia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eunoia/32/97_2.png) [@eunoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eunoia)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/42 "2001-04-24T04:59:54Z")
You did say “everyone invited”… Here goes, I’m male, mental age 17, homeless, I created this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68257](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=68257) rated “Worst Thread Ever” by Comic Book Guy Likes: 1. Dover Thrift Editions 2. inside jokes 3. Hi Opal! 4. caramel corn I’m from Montreal and Cecil’s column hasn’t been published here in over five years, but I never forgot, so go easy on me… Self-Referential Quote: “I’m not a creep, but I play one on the 'net.” ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/43 "2001-04-24T04:59:56Z")
It seems people from the old thread want the “Bite Me” back. So here it is: Mercutio, GilaB, Wastrel: I hereby decree that thouh shalt Bite Me. Farren, MsRobyn: I just checked the clock, it’s half past Bite Me. a special one for hardygrrl: Bite My Assclown. Totoro, arisu, and katiekilldare: Arrivus, Posticus, Masticatimus. Translation, You came, you posted, you Bite Me. ---
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/44 "2001-04-24T05:01:45Z")
I’ve been mostly lurking… my husband and I enjoy reading all the clever posts from you amazingly intelligent people. I can’t see myself actually posting much, but I thought I’d introduce myself anyway. I’m from Ohio, went school in Utah (English major/Korean minor) have been to Korea three times for a total of about 2 1/2 years and most recently was in Newfoundland for three years for my husband’s grad school. We’re in Washington state now. We drove all the way here from Newfoundland in our little green truck, named Lukey. We don’t have any kids yet but we ocassionally name our appliances. I do pencil portrait drawings from photos, and I’m also a published scrapbook artist. My husband plays fiddle and cittern and recently taught me how to say Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwlllantysiliogogogoch. We are both big fans of Lois McMaster Bujold and Terry Pratchett. I do have one question! I loved all the stories about Halvsie the two-legged dog, but I must admit the “paddling around in circles like Curley” reference quite escapes me. Like GilaB, my religion also proscribes the taking and/or sending of nekkid pics. Alas. (That wasn’t too long, was it?) –Helena (eagerly waiting to hear what happens when Astrogirl’s oma finds out what’s going on!) ---
**Author:** ![Rose\_Red](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/96bed5/32.png) [@Rose\_Red](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rose_Red)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/45 "2001-04-24T06:11:24Z")
I feel like being knocked down a few pegs, so here I go! Hi! I’m a college student living in Washington. With red hair. I’m also 17, so the living in Washington is actually “living with my parents.” Oh, and I like dill hummus and driving slow. That enough ammo? 😃 And, I seriously doubt you’d want anything involving me naked. ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/46 "2001-04-24T06:21:41Z")
**Rose Red** , you are being impertinant! Only the **Crunchy-Assclown of Evil** gets to decide if he wants to see anyone naked, errr…I mean _nekkid_. It’s a rule, you see. We all had to do it. Same for **Helena**. Rules is rules. And in absence of **Crunchy** , I shall be the first to say “Bite me!” Hey, **The Mermaid** …[sub]he does seem a little cranky, don’t he?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/47 "2001-04-24T07:16:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rose Red \* > **I feel like being knocked down a few pegs, so here I go!** Well, CF and I could just knock you up, but the mods might be a bit irked. Plus I think Coldie would want first dibs, but that’s just my twisted, 3-o’clock-in-the-morning-and-I-should-have-been-asleep-three-hours-ago logic. **"Hi! I’m a college student living in Washington. With red hair."** The Washington bit can be forgiven. So long as it’s DC, that is. The red hair will brand you in this here place. Are you always that fucking perky, though? That’s gonna wear on people something quick, seriously. Better adapt a “I’m just a lonely girl” attitude quick, and all will be forgiven. **"That enough ammo?"** A man can never have enough ammo. Or beer. Just ask **UncleBeer**. **"And, I seriously doubt you’d want anything involving me naked."** Oh, there you go getting down on yourself. That fucking pisses me off, newbies thinking they’re allowed to piss on themselves. Didn’t you read the rules, lady? Brighten up, for fuck’s sake! And, on behalf of CF, bite me;) [sub]I don’t have it in me to flame a redhead in MPSIMS . . . [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/48 "2001-04-24T08:58:57Z")
Last time the famed Welcome Wagon was up an’ rolling, I didn’t have the guts to join in (approach the great and mighty **Crunchy Frog**? He who is beyond goddom? No way! I’d go blind!). And according to the rules, I can’t get a welcome _now_ either it seems because I not only don’t have a nekkid pic of my womanly self – publishing one would _definitely_ not be the interests of CF’s mental health. Trust me on this. So ::sigh:: I slink once more into the shadows. Oh, hey, welcome back, **Crunchy Frog** (and no, you don’t need to send a naked picture of yourself for that welcome. I’m cheaper). Luv ya. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/49 "2001-04-24T09:09:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ice Wolf \* > And according to the rules, I can’t get a welcome _now_ either it seems because I not only don’t have a nekkid pic of my womanly self – publishing one would _definitely_ not be the interests of CF’s mental health. Trust me on this. Mine’s already shot. My email’s in my profile, or you can send it to me via AIM, and my SN there is also in my profile. ::hoping he gets email . . . hoping he gets email . . . hoping he gets email:: Oh, shit, I have to be rude, too. Well, then: **"I’m cheaper."** Than a free lunch. [sub]I can’t find Barry . . . [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/50 "2001-04-24T11:29:15Z")
Welcome back **Crunchy** , dahlink!! I didn’t realize how much I’d missed you till you returned and I noticed that you’d been gone for a while… uh, there is a certain logic in there somewhere. Anyway, I ask for nothing but the chance to worship you from afar. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![hardygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@hardygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hardygrrl)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/51 "2001-04-24T11:54:45Z")
Crunchy…I’ll send the naked pics if you send me a picture of you living up to the title assclown:) Don’t forget the red nose either. ---
**Author:** ![Evnglion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f04885/32.png) [@Evnglion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evnglion)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/52 "2001-04-24T11:55:33Z")
\<---- Evnglion…hello all. I suppose I am a bit new, but pretty experienced for a newbie, so I can’t call myself that. Everyone welcome me!!! I am into anime, cars, baseball, and computers. I liev in North Carolina, in crummy Winston-Salem. I suppose that is all…oh yeah…if anyone can tell me what my sig means, that person is awesome! ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/53 "2001-04-24T12:53:20Z")
Hi, I’m frobozz, and I work in the Department of Redundancy Department. No, really, I am a civil engineer from New Jersey. Condolences are in order for either of those reasons. I’ve been lurking since about September of last year. I wasn’t going to register becasue I do all my surfing at work and the SDMB is more addictive than heroin. But then, I figured, if I’m going to get fired for too much internet usage, it might as well be for something good, right? I mean, any novice can get fired for surfing porn all day. Also, I’m engaged to the cutest girl in the world. We’re getting married next summer. So, shall I bite you? ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/54 "2001-04-24T14:18:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GilaB \* > \*\*Oooh ooh! I get to be one of the first newbies… (Well, I’ve been here for a month, but still… Welcome me, dammit! \*\* Welcome, **GilaB**! I’ve been looking for the chance to tell you that I really appreciated [your thoughtful answer here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=66464#post1240760), but the thread was kinda dead when I read it and I didn’t want to bump. Hi Crunchy–how’re you perseverin’ on your novel? ---
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/55 "2001-04-24T20:29:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I am a sophmore Classics major.\*\* > > Let’s stop right here for a second. I now direct you to rule #7. I’ll be expecting to see an email from you soon. The first person you choose to remind about this is… me. What, you have a thing for dull, bespectacled chicks wasting their precious youth learning about dead people and their languages? > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I attend Boston University and live among the rats on Bay State road.\*\* > > You live on the street?! You poor thing! One question though, how do you have access to the internet if you’re homeless? You’ve got it backwards. The rats have grown to enourmous siae and invaded the dorms on Bay State. My roommate is one in a cleverly designed human-suit. > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > _curtseys deeply_\*\* > > And as far as that cu\*\*(r)\*\*tsey goes, I much prefer a woman on her knees. 😉 Come on, you’d have to at least buy me dinner first…😛 ---
**Author:** ![frobozz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ed8c4c/32.png) [@frobozz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frobozz)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/56 "2001-04-24T20:35:32Z")
Oh, and one other thing: I have this mysterious ability to kill a thread with one post. No matter how popular it is or how long it has been around, it will invariably sink off the fist page within 1 day of me posting to it. Take this fine thread, for example. I found it at the bottom of page 2 _six hours_ after I posted. I am the typhoid mary of the message boards. ---
**Author:** ![Sweet\_Walter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7cd45c/32.png) [@Sweet\_Walter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweet_Walter)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/57 "2001-04-24T21:09:57Z")
I scare tourists into giving me money. An evil nazi goose is stalking me. I was blind once but now I can see with one eye. My little sister once choked me so hard I puked. I ripped my brothers toenail off. I like ugly motorcycles and pretty red-headed wimmins. I got funny lookin’ tan lines. A picture of my nekkid mom is on the way. Nyah… ---
**Author:** ![Citygirl852](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@Citygirl852](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Citygirl852)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/58 "2001-04-24T21:42:55Z")
Hi… Delurking for a minute. I peek into SDMB every day but rarely post because although I always have something to add, I think better than I write. Anyway, I’m a 20 something female (cityGIRL kinda gave it away, huh?) in Chicago, and according to my latest personality test/horoscope, I am: **of unusual beauty, does not want to impress, well-developed sense of justice, vivacious, interested, a born diplomat, but irritates easily and sensitive in company, often due to a lack of self confidence, acts sometimes superior, feels not understood, loves only once, has difficulties in finding a partner.** That’s pretty accurate… especially the unusual beauty part. 😉 - Sorry no nekkid pictures. The closest I can get you is a bra and panty shot from behind. 😃 I also have a deep hatred for all condiments, especially mustard. I don’t like tomatoes either. Now, with all that done… WELCOME ME, DAMMIT!!! ---
**Author:** ![Rose\_Red](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/96bed5/32.png) [@Rose\_Red](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rose_Red)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/59 "2001-04-24T21:55:27Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by iampunha \* **"The Washington bit can be forgiven. So long as it’s DC, that is. The red hair will brand you in this here place."** Nope. I’m in Washington state. I lead a pathetic life. My hair will brand me in what way? **"Are you always that fucking perky, though? That’s gonna wear on people something quick, seriously. Better adapt a “I’m just a lonely girl” attitude quick, and all will be forgiven."** First, you tell me to quit being so perky. Then, you get on my case for wanting to save poor Crunchy’s sanity, and tell me to brighten up. Okay. I cannot please you, can I? DAMMIT. I’m such a failure. **"Oh, there you go getting down on yourself. That fucking pisses me off, newbies thinking they’re allowed to piss on themselves. Didn’t you read the rules, lady? Brighten up, for fuck’s sake!"** Why? Oh, that’s your job, the pissing on people. I’m terribly sorry for taking away your fun. I’ll stop it, I promise. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![seawitch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@seawitch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/seawitch)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2001, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/60 "2001-04-24T22:05:40Z")
I am a 40-ish chatty redhead, prone to making disparaging remarks about the unseemly personal habits of others. I’m a Wiccan, a real estate professional, a masseuse in my spare time, and I have the following hobbies: 1. Winemaking 2. Younger men 3. Hi, Opal! 4. Naming inanimate objects (my toaster is called Pop-Up Willie). Nekkid pictures of me are an abomination, but I have a hot neighbor without bedroom curtains - can I submit a proxy? And finally, the first time I read the name **Crunchy Frog** the first thing I thought about was toad-licking. Where would you like that bite? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=4)