# Crunchy Frog's New and Improved Welcome Wagon, everyone invited **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067 "2001-04-23T23:51:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/161 "2001-05-16T01:40:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jesse Custer \* > \*\*Sorry to be so arcane, Crunchy. “Lemon curry?” was one of those incongruent tag lines at the end of a Python episode. \*\* I see. I don’t have cable, so I rarely get to see the old shows. I mostly catch whatever Python I can find on video. Chalk that up to one of the episodes I missed. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/162 "2001-05-16T02:16:14Z")
**Crunchy Frog** … Such a sweetie… taking all of your time to welcome all of us so nicely! I looove checking into this thread every once in awhile to see what you’re tormenting us newbies with!! Keep up the good work! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/163 "2001-05-16T03:37:20Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > No shit. I’d have never guessed. \*\* well, I said that just in case: sometimes, if the light hits the monitor just right, it can cause a glare only in the spot where it has my posting number…and maybe instead of 3, you might have read 30000. and you would have said to yourself, “Self, who is this and why don’t I remember her?” and you would have gone through hours upon hours of excruciating mental anguish, trying to remember one of my old posts. It could happen, you know… so you see, I said I was a newbie… trying to be helpful and this is my thanks. (ha ha! I rolled my own eyes at that one,too! hey, that’s why I’m a newbie, dammit) \*\* > [@](#): > > Does this mean you design psuedo buildings where psuedo people can go to their psuedo jobs and earn a psuedo living?\*\* yes, indeed. It’s like the Sims. but better. cause it’s psuedo, baby. actually this means that I am not licensed to be a ‘real’ architect. my true job title is “Intern”. but people think one of two things when I say intern: 1. I am in high school and the most meaningful thing I do is fetch coffee. or 2. Monica Lewinski. thus, pseudo architect is a moniker I prefer. That, or CADjockey. \*\* > [@](#): > > Ajax? I use that shit to clean my tub! You mean we’re supposed to _eat_ that?!\*\* oh my but yes! You simply have not lived until you have a BLTA (bacon. lettuce. tomato. ajax). geez, what rock have you been living under? The Ajax corp has been trying for YEARS to sell the public the idea, but their slogans have failed miserably: Ajax- it’s not just for breakfast anymore. Ajax- The other white Meat that turns blue when wet. hey Ajax… Ajax, a little dab’ll do ya. In the city and in the woods, Ajax keeps America…eattin’ good. (hoot hoot) Ajax fights the cavity creeps (we make holes in teeth) Mickey likes it. (such a misconception about his death…pop rocks and coke. it was Ajax and coke) and one last thing. somebody help a dense newbie out. Where are the smiley faces, etc for the mac? or is that only a peecee thing? \ ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/164 "2001-05-16T04:58:24Z")
_ **Creaky** _ - what’s with you? Stop kissing my ass. If I want that much saliva on my anus, I’d grab $50 and head downtown. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*sometimes, if the light hits the monitor just right, it can cause a glare only in the spot where it has my posting number…and maybe instead of 3, you might have read 30000. and you would have said to yourself, > “Self, who is this and why don’t I remember her?” > and you would have gone through hours upon hours of excruciating mental anguish, trying to remember one of my old posts. \*\* And here you make the age old gaffe of believing I give a crap… I liked your bit about the Ajax, though. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/165 "2001-05-16T18:06:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > **_Creaky_ - what’s with you? Stop kissing my ass. If I want that much saliva on my anus, I’d grab $50 and head downtown.** $50?? I get at least $100 for a professional job. The guys where you live must be REAL cheapskates! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2001, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/166 "2001-05-16T23:16:31Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Creaky \* \*\* > [@](#): > > $50?? I get at least $100 for a professional job. The guys where you live must be REAL cheapskates! \*\* Really? I’d think $100 is a bit overpriced just for some spit on your butt. Now if there was more to it than that… ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/167 "2001-05-17T02:39:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* Really? I’d think $100 is a bit overpriced just for some spit on your butt. Now if there was more to it than that… \*\* [/QUOTE] Well, uh, come on over here, to my, er private office, and we’ll um, negotiate. I just sent away today for a new set of “Stick’em and Yowl” Pre-Greased European Anal Probes… Hey, a working girl’s gotta keep her stock current to be competitive in an increasingly specialized market. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/168 "2001-05-17T03:00:56Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Creaky \* \*\* > [@](#): > > I just sent away today for a new set of “Stick’em and Yowl” Pre-Greased European Anal Probes…\*\* **Creaky** , dear, there’s a fine line between playful, suggestive flirting and just creeping someone out. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/169 "2001-05-17T03:45:27Z")
Oh, man, **Crunchy** … Bwahahaha! Sorry if I grossed you out, but I simply could not resist messing with you! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/170 "2001-05-17T03:58:22Z")
**Creaky** - check your Yahoo messenger. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/171 "2001-05-17T16:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Thanks for adding to the confusion factor around here. As you may or may not know, we already have a **monster** and a **Monster104** Well, we’re not moving in too quickly, lest we give away our secret plans for world domi… er… nevermind, that’s a secret… > [@](#): > > Well, youngster, had you bothered to _read_ the thread, you would have noticed that I announced a while ago that I was on vacation and would not be posting for a while. C’mon!! That’s the best you can do? Weak… You must have forgotten the barbed ammo and opted for the nerf bullets instead. Not even one Bite Me?! Sheesh! I may just have to start biting everybody else… Monstre \<— wondering if Froggie just came back from Mother’s Day with too much love in his heart. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/172 "2001-05-17T17:04:08Z")
Well, I’ve been here for a little while… but nice to know the Welcome Wagon exists. I’m 27, I live in Charleston, South Carolina… Home of rednecks, Hootie and the Blowfish, and unfair 2 AM bar closings. I work in a psychiatric hospital, in the research division. Basically I make medicine all day for drug studies. I have a 22 pound cat. His name is Benvolio. I only eat kosher hot dogs, regardless of the fact that I am Lutheran, and I put mustard and ketchup on them. I’m deathly allergic to feta cheese and any type of wine. I’m on the verge of getting fired for reading the SDMB all day instead of pretending to do ‘real work’. That’s all for now… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/173 "2001-05-17T22:49:40Z")
_ **Monstre** _ says \*\* > [@](#): > > C’mon!! That’s the best you can do? Weak… You must have forgotten the barbed ammo and opted for the nerf bullets instead. Not even one Bite Me?! Sheesh! I may just have to start biting everybody else… \*\* Here’s some advice, newbie: When someone let’s you slip by with a mistake (such as making a comment that shows that you haven’t read the thread you’re posting to) you let it go. You shouldn’t push the issue. If you were caught posting to the SDMB at work instead of working and your boss simply let it go by saying, “We really need the MacMullin account finished, didn’t you see my email?” Would you then stop him and call his attention to the fact that you were slacking off and ask why weren’t you punished more harshly? Therefore, your actions lead me to believe you belong to one of two groups: You’re either a masochist or a moron. Seeing as the latter group outnumbers the former in this world, my money’s on moron. And in case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t told anyone to Bite Me for some time. That was the old Welcome Wagon (which was also previously discussed in this thread - you _can_ read, can’t you?) I never really liked “Bite Me” and I still don’t like it. Now be gone, little pin worm, before I unleash Beatrice. (And since you obviously haven’t read the thread, I will explain that Beatrice is my wrath which was formerly named Fred, but is currently going through a period of self-discovery, hence the name-change.) > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > **I’m 27, I live in Charleston, South Carolina… Home of rednecks, Hootie and the Blowfish, and unfair 2 AM bar closings.** And there’s three reasons not to like you right off the bat. \*\* > [@](#): > > I work in a psychiatric hospital, in the research division. Basically I make medicine all day for drug studies.\*\* Do you meet a lot of Hootie and the Blowfish fans there? I would imagine a psychiatric hospital is where they mostly are nowadays. Occassionally, you’ll find a Hootie fan who has slipped back into society, but mostly they’re in asylums. \*\* > [@](#): > > I have a 22 pound cat. His name is Benvolio.\*\* You have a 22 pound pussy named Benvolio?!! Doesn’t that freak people out. If I met a person with a 22 pound pussy, I’d be amazed. How do you ride a bike? ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2001, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/174 "2001-05-17T23:48:07Z")
I just wanted to thank Crunchy for the welcome… Nice to know I can be treated like everyone else here. Just to clarify one thing, though… I am NOT happy that Charleston is the home of rednecks, Hootie, and early bar closings… Rednecks get on my last nerve, Hootie sucks a big one, (should have been the suckfish) and I work in food and beverage on the weekends, so there goes all the extra tips I could have made off the tourists. Oh, and just so you know… I ride a bike like everyone else… Ass on the seat and peddles under my feet! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/175 "2001-05-18T00:17:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\*Oh, and just so you know… I ride a bike like everyone else… Ass on the seat and peddles under my feet! \*\* But what about the 22 pound pussy? Does it make squooshing noises or anything? ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2001, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/176 "2001-05-18T06:36:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > You’re either a masochist or a moron. Seeing as the latter group outnumbers the former in this world, my money’s on moron. Well, that’s more like it – I knew you could summon up more vitriol than in your first reply! (But you still lose your money…) > [@](#): > > Here’s some advice, newbie: When someone **let’s** you slip by with a mistake (such as making a comment that shows that you haven’t read the thread you’re posting to) you let it go. You shouldn’t push the issue. > > And in case you haven’t noticed, I haven’t told anyone to Bite Me for some time. **That was the old Welcome Wagon** Really?! Looks like somebody hasn’t read his **own** thread. Although it’s not the only one, you might tune in to a post in this thread dated 04-24-2001 06:28 PM, in which the esteemed Crunchy Frog said, “ **You are all cordially invited to Bite Me.** ” (By the way, no apostrophe in “lets”, but I’ll let it slip by… 😉 ) Monstre ← glad to see Crunchy is feeling like himself again. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/177 "2001-05-19T01:16:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > > You’re either a masochist or a moron. Seeing as the latter group outnumbers the former in this world, my money’s on moron. > > Well, that’s more like it – I knew you could summon up more vitriol than in your first reply! (But you still lose your money…)\*\* Whether or not I would lose money on that bet has yet to be proven. > [@](#): > > **Looks like somebody hasn’t read his own thread. Although it’s not the only one, you might tune in to a post in this thread dated 04-24-2001 06:28 PM, in which the esteemed Crunchy Frog said, "You are all cordially invited to Bite Me."** Jesus, boy, I’m not here to fucking **debate** this with you! On the first page, I did a quick series of “Bite Me” comments because some people from the first thread kept mentioning it. I followed it up in the post which you quoted. I think the line may be in there once, maybe twice after that. The point is, it was mentioned that I only did it a few times because people from the first thread kept bringing it up. \*\* > [@](#): > > (By the way, no apostrophe in “lets”, but I’ll let it slip by… ;)\*\* If you were truly letting it slip by, you wouldn’t have mentioned it at all. Why not point out where I fucked up the vB code on page two? And I think there’s another typo of mine near the top of page 3! I’ll be sure to not point out any of your typos I see in the future in much the same way, you’ve let mine ‘slip by’ ---
**Author:** ![frock75](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ad7895/32.png) [@frock75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/frock75)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/178 "2001-05-19T01:34:33Z")
Hello. I’m a cook from Philadelphia. I’ve been watching these posts for about a week now. I think i have found a good place to hang. I like lasagna, poetry, moonlit walks in the park and good ass spanking by Ron Jeremy, at the end of the night. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/179 "2001-05-19T05:14:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Jesus, boy, I’m not here to fucking **debate** this with you! Yikes – I’ve been going by rule 4, but it sounds like somebody is taking all of this way too seriously… > [@](#): > > If you were truly letting it slip by, you wouldn’t have mentioned it at all. :::sigh::: Missing the point… I really don’t care about typos - honestly, I don’t. But I found that sentence ironic… humorous… A sentence, stating that you were letting a mistake slip by, which had a mistake – it made me laugh. Hence my reply. Monstre \<— wondering if rule 4 only applies if the greetee doesn’t joke back. ---
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2001, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067/180 "2001-05-19T18:24:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > I would think an English major, albeit one with a Korean minor (and what do his parents think about that, anyway?!) would be able to read and comprehend. Go back to the OP. Check out rule #2. Beg forgiveness and send nekkid pix. > > WHAT!? How do you grow up in America (from Ohio, school in Utah) and not be able to catch a Three Stooges reference? Please tell me you’ve heard of Larry, Moe, and Curley.\*\* What’s this? You think I’m a him and you’re still asking for nekkid pics? Hmmm… Oh, THAT Curley. He paddles around in circles, does he? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-new-and-improved-welcome-wagon-everyone-invited/63067.md?page=10)