# Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958 "2000-11-06T16:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/181 "2000-12-13T22:11:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > > Ok, first of all, who the hell is Dan Savage? Syndicated sex columnist whose “Savage Love” column is available from several “alternative” papers, such as _The Onion_ ([www.theonion.com](http://www.theonion.com)). (I’m not putting a direct link here since I’m not sure whether the content qualifies as “objectionable”, but I’m sure you can find the link on the right side of the page.) He claims it’s his real name. > [@](#): > > Second of all, you can understand how different the situations are. Sure I can. Doesn’t prevent me from being amused by the comparison. That said, I get the impression that you may not be taking the teasing in the lighthearted way I intended it, so I’ll drop it. I really am harmless, but I’m afraid that I’m not coming across that way. Back to your regularly scheduled Welcome Wagon. ---
**Author:** ![Sasquatch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@Sasquatch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sasquatch)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2000, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/182 "2000-12-13T22:15:07Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Of course we can see you’re new, **Sasquatch!**. We can also see you’re somewhat irritating and quite possibly not the brightest rhinestone on the county singer’s shirt.\*\* Ah, phooey. Truth be told, I didn’t have anything **that** mega-witty to say, so I figured that I’d just reduce it to a one-liner. So, uh…guess it didn’t bring the house down, eh? I would be more tempted to flame you back if it wasn’t for the fact that I have to agree with you: my few posts here **have** been minorly irritating. Oh well…the day that I get upset because someone named “Crunchy Frog” insulted me will be a sad day indeed. So on a more serious note (and in hopes of becoming at least the second- or third- dullest rhinestone, rather than **the** dullest: - Born on the mean streets of LaGrange, IL (no, not the town that ZZ Top is singing about in their song by the same name) in 1971. I still live in the Chicago 'burbs, and probably always will. - Married to a **very** cool woman, who takes all of my idiosyncrasies in stride. No kids, but we have a dog that’s probably better-looking than my offspring would be. - Been reading SD for a while, and started lurking on the forums a few months ago. You guys are a mighty tough bunch to “nail down”, tho… - Work as a Sys Admin for a manufacturing company. (“Sys Admin” is a much fancier way of saying “The Computer Guy”, don’tcha think?) - I’m a complete geek when it comes to classic arcade gaming. I love spec’ing out original cabinets and reading up on restoring/building them. - I float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. So there’s Intro v2.0. Submitted for your disapproval. How do you like **them** apples?? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl\_26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl\_26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl_26)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/183 "2000-12-14T04:39:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Just\_A\_Girl\_26 \* > **I am a 27 year old mother of the two most wonderful children in the world (when they are not fighting, talking incessantly, annoying me, destroying my house and are sound asleep).** Dear Froggie, you are not paying attention. You just didn’t read the whole sentence. This was my obviously poor attempt at humor. My children ARE wonderful when they are not exhibiting the aforementioned traits that they must have inherited from their father. hehe AND, I have been wondering why I can’t post. It is all your fault! So I’m off to look for the nude pics so that the great Crunchy Frog will allow me to post more. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/184 "2000-12-14T10:25:39Z")
Sorry Crunchy I have counter blackmail that is currently stopping him from displaying those photos. However I guess if someone upped the price enough he would probably cave in. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/185 "2000-12-14T14:54:16Z")
**Eft** - no worries, I’m not taking you seriously. The sad thing about this medium is that you miss the tone of voice in which some things may be said to let you know I’m joking. And just what the hell sex are you anyway? I need to know if I can comment on that tongue-in-cheek remark or not! **Sasquatch!** - that was not me flaming you. That’s me playing with you. There’s a lot of newbies here, it’s hard coming up with something different for everyone, and you gave me one sentence to work with that sounded as if it was written by the cute diaper-wearing mouse from Tom & Jerry cartoons. If you read a few of the things I say about myself, hopefully you’ll see I meant no harm. **Just\_A\_Girl\_26** - I did too read the whole sentence, but I have to pick and choose what to respond to, or else I don’t have a responce. It was easier for me to respond if I dropped the bit in parentheses. **wyldelf** - How much do you think he’ll need? And since **Sasquatch!** did all this writing, I’ll resond (again). But just this once, **Sassy!** You’re stuck with this welcome, even if you don’t like it! 😛 > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Sasquath!_ > \*\*- Been reading SD for a while, and started lurking on the forums a few months ago. You guys are a mighty tough bunch to “nail down”, tho… \*\* I know what you mean, I’ve been trying to nail **evilbeth** and **Nymysys** for a while now but they keep mentioning my GF and . . . oh, um, you were talking about something else, weren’t you? I really need to quit doing that. > [@](#): > > **- Work as a Sys Admin for a manufacturing company. (“Sys Admin” is a much fancier way of saying “The Computer Guy”, don’tcha think?)** And an even fancier way would be System and Network Administrative Managing Officer. Put that on a business card and watch the women swoon! > [@](#): > > \*\*- I’m a complete geek when it comes to classic arcade gaming. I love spec’ing out original cabinets and reading up on restoring/building them. \*\* I was going to make some geek jokes here when I remembered my comic book collection and Looney Tunes Special Edition of Monopoly, so I’ll just slowly back away from this. ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/186 "2000-12-14T16:03:22Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* **Eft** - no worries, I’m not taking you seriously. The sad thing about this medium is that you miss the tone of voice in which some things may be said to let you know I’m joking. And just what the hell sex are you anyway? I need to know if I can comment on that tongue-in-cheek remark or not! [quote] You’re more than welcome to comment, since the description I gave (the one that didn’t have me sounding like a pillow) was accurate–you’re safe no matter which way you bet. To paraphrase a post of yours from earlier in the thread, “Gee–you straight people are so close-minded!” 😉 If you ever wonder, I’m nearly always either soberly factual or teasing. I’m just very careful about not hurting people’s feelings unintentionally. (When it’s intentional, it will be very obvious.) > [@](#): > > I was going to make some geek jokes here when I remembered my comic book collection and Looney Tunes Special Edition of Monopoly, so I’ll just slowly back away from this. Wise, coming from someone with a leatherbound special edition of THGTTG. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/187 "2000-12-14T16:39:33Z")
Hey Crunchy Frog… I guess it’s time for me to step up to the plate. I could give you the URL to my website with my naked pix, but I know you must have some work to get done, so I won’t bother you with it now 😃 I grew up on the coast of California and moved to Canada in my teens. Went to college back in California, got bored of it and moved back to Canada again. I work part time as a legal secretary/receptionist, volunteer for my sons outdoor education club and I am studying Karate. So be nice to me, or else 😃 I also work on my website from time to time. I secretly follow your posts because I love your wit and humour… really!! I am ready to bite you, doll… but before you ask me to, becareful what you wish for 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/188 "2000-12-14T17:17:32Z")
**Eft** – you know my fiance is bisexual maybe we could - :: a cordless phone hits **Crunchy Frog** in the temple :: Ow! Dammit! Ok, so the fiance says no. Nevermind about that. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silly Rabbit \* > **Hey Crunchy Frog… I guess it’s time for me to step up to the plate. I could give you the URL to my website with my naked pix, but I know you must have some work to get done, so I won’t bother you with it now 😃** Nice try. You would think I had work to do, but then you may continue thinking and realize if I had work to do, I wouldn’t be on this message board 6 hrs out of my 8 hour day. Cough up with the links, newbie. > [@](#): > > **I grew up on the coast of California and moved to Canada in my teens. Went to college back in California, got bored of it and moved back to Canada again. I work part time as a legal secretary/receptionist, volunteer for my sons outdoor education club and I am studying Karate. So be nice to me, or else 😃 I also work on my website from time to time.** I fear not your karate. Since you people are new, you probbly don’t realize what I used to do in the Air Force. I have been trained to defend myself, so bring it on. And what’s an outdoor education club? My first thought is Monty Python (the larch), my second thought is some guy outdoors with kids saying, “Ok, um, now, this is what we call grass. Not the kind you hear about people smoking, but just regular grass. Over there you will see a bush - now stop giggling, Trevor, it’s really is called a bush - and just behind that to the left is a tree. A _tree_.” > [@](#): > > \*\*I secretly follow your posts because I love your wit and humour… really!! I am ready to bite you, doll… but before you ask me to, becareful what you wish for 😉 \*\* Secretly? Are you embarassed by me? Are you ashamed to admit you like anything about me? What have I done to be ostracized so?! Bite away, newbie. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/189 "2000-12-14T17:53:57Z")
**Attention female newbies!** This is a message from the Department for the um…Protection of Endangered um…Frogs. Due to Mr. Frog’s recent illness, we fear the consequences to his health if he is forced to view any more pictures of um…unclad individuals. Therefore you are hereby directed to e-mail any and all pictures of yourselves in dishabille to: [bumbazine@ilikesmesomenekkidwimmens.com](mailto:bumbazine@ilikesmesomenekkidwimmens.com) I’m sure we can all sleep better at night knowing that Mr. Frog will be spared this taxing duty in future. Thank you very much, Your Gummint ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/190 "2000-12-14T18:12:01Z")
Thank you veddy much, Mr. Bumbazine, but you’re about a week too late for that. I’m at the peak of health again (well, as peaked as I get nowadays) and fully capable of viewing female in the buff. Here is my doctor’s note: To Whom It May Concern, Mr. Crunchy Frog has recovered completely from his most recent bout with bronchitis as is once again at the peak of health. I heartliy agree, and in fact recommend, that he see as many nude women-type folks as possible to aid in his healing process. Signed, Crunchy Frog’s doctor. So keep 'em coming, ladies. Send them to [IreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallywannaCUnekkid@crunchyfrog.com](mailto:IreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallywannaCUnekkid@crunchyfrog.com) ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/191 "2000-12-14T18:17:46Z")
Well… I mailed them there and they all came back undeliverable. **sigh** Oh well… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/192 "2000-12-14T18:26:08Z")
**Silly Rabbit** – nobody likes a tease. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/193 "2000-12-14T19:07:23Z")
For reasons of my own, **Silly Rabbit** is now my new **Favorite Newbie** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![stargazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb8c5e/32.png) [@stargazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stargazer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/194 "2000-12-14T19:13:22Z")
**Crunchy,** I don’t have a camera. If you send me a digital camera, a really cool one, I’d be able to send you nekkid pics. Well, assuming my fiance doesn’t mind. Maybe he’ll mind less if I let him be the photographer. I’ll have to explore those possibilities. Anyway, just send that digital camera on over, and I’ll see what I can do… er… you’ll see what I can do. Right. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/195 "2000-12-14T19:20:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stargazer \* > **Crunchy, I don’t have a camera. If you send me a digital camera, a really cool one, I’d be able to send you nekkid pics.** Sure I’ll get right on that. Cuz you know, I have that kind of money to buy digital cameras for anyone who needs one to take pix of themselves here. And my fiance wouldn’t mind at all if I spent that kind of money to send another girl a digital camera so I could see nekkid pix of her. So yeah, you can expect it in the mail in about 6-8 weeks, cuz I can’t think of any problems with that plan. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Silly\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Silly\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silly_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/196 "2000-12-14T19:32:07Z")
😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b782af/32.png) [@Eft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eft)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/197 "2000-12-14T20:43:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Sure I’ll get right on that. Cuz you know, I have that kind of money to buy digital cameras for anyone who needs one to take pix of themselves here. And my fiance wouldn’t mind at all if I spent that kind of money to send another girl a digital camera so I could see nekkid pix of her. So yeah, you can expect it in the mail in about 6-8 weeks, cuz I can’t think of any problems with that plan. 😉 **Crunchy** , you sound less than thrilled with this idea. Surely you could claim the cameras (plural–I’ll be needing one too if you’ve decided that it’s safe to ask for the nekkid pix) are a legitimate business expense and therefore tax-deductible. 6-8 weeks is a bit long, though. I think you need to find yourself another carrier, since the one you’re planning on using seems slow. Tell your fiance that she should support you in your efforts to improve yourself professionally, and see what she says. I’m sure she’ll understand. . . . And if she does, then be sure to tell me how you phrased it so I can use the same line on my SO to explain why I’m taking the pictures. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sasquatch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@Sasquatch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sasquatch)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/198 "2000-12-14T20:54:09Z")
Crunchy, to tide you over while you’re waiting for nekkid pics from the female newbies, I offer you an _au natural_ pic of myself. Brace yourself. Don’t say I didn’t warn you: [http://www.arcadeparadise.org/temp/sasquatch.jpg](http://www.arcadeparadise.org/temp/sasquatch.jpg) Enjoy. ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/199 "2000-12-14T21:15:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > [B **wyldelf** - How much do you think he’ll need? > \*\* mmm I guess it depends on what you are offering. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wyldelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@wyldelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wyldelf)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/200 "2000-12-14T21:20:16Z")
damn - like giving me lessons in how to hit preview buttons or code. _blush_ I guess that proves I am a newbie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=11)