# Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958 "2000-11-06T16:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/201 "2000-12-14T21:21:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sasquatch! \* > \*\*Crunchy, to tide you over while you’re waiting for nekkid pics from the female newbies, I offer you an _au natural_ pic of myself. \*\* You been working out? And I’ve got two words for you: hot fuckin’ wax. ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/202 "2000-12-14T21:30:06Z")
New here. Started the Martha Stewart post next door: man some people are so passionately anti- you’d think she was the hall monitor. Married, no kids, four rescue critters two dogs, two cats. Just bought 1884 farmhouse on a few acres in town, active in historic preservation. Experience on Feline Diabetes Message Board. There were a couple of banned wackos there causing trouble last spring. I eat meat when convenient: wife is ovo-lacto veg. Did you know that Worcetshire Sauce has anchovy paste, and anchovies have nerve endings and moms? Didn’t bother me when I drank, and sobriety hasn’t help me feel squeamish either. I compromise: red meat gets cooked outside on the grill, and rarely (medium rarely). ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/203 "2000-12-15T14:52:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dustMagnate \* > \*\*New here. Started the Martha Stewart post next door: man some people are so passionately anti- you’d think she was the hall monitor. \*\* Ok, just for the record, people are making fun of Martha Steart’s attitude and personality. If a man acted the same way, he would also be considered an ass and made fun of at every chance. It has nothing to do with gender, IMHO, as your OP there implies. > [@](#): > > \*\* Experience on Feline Diabetes Message Board. There were a couple of banned wackos there causing trouble last spring.\*\* And now you’ve come here since they banned you? > [@](#): > > **I eat meat when convenient: wife is ovo-lacto veg.** Your wife’s name sounds like a Star Wars character: **ovo-lacto veg** of the Dodecahedron system. > [@](#): > > **Did you know that Worcetshire Sauce has anchovy paste, and anchovies have nerve endings and moms?** Did you know my whole stance on the vegetarian front is that if God didn’t want us to eat animals, he wouldn’t have made them so tasty. ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/204 "2000-12-15T15:06:02Z")
Well said Crunchy Frog. Here’s a bit about me (just to boost the no. of posts) My names Anthony Smallwood (some call me Ant) My nickname originates from the mistyping of Punk I play drums in a band. I’m British to the core. Our band web site (unfinished) is [http://www15.brinkster.com/nbm](http://www15.brinkster.com/nbm) please sign the guestbook to make us seem more popular! ---
**Author:** ![dustMagnate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/fbc32d/32.png) [@dustMagnate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dustMagnate)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/205 "2000-12-15T15:13:26Z")
If I were to get banned from a board I would probably stay banned. Something about ‘not going home again’. I probably couldn’t bring myself to grovel and beg forgiveness. But I’ve never been banned from anywhere (boring), probably for the same reason I don’t get moving violations on the highway (knock wood). Dumb luck and resistance to engage in conflict. ---
**Author:** ![Sasquatch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@Sasquatch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sasquatch)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/206 "2000-12-15T17:01:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pnuk Guy \* > \*\*My nickname originates from the mistyping of Punk > > I play drums in a band. > > I’m British to the core. > \*\* Oi, Nancy! ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2000, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/207 "2000-12-18T13:53:51Z")
nancy? In this neck of the woods that’s an insult. as is dumbass. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2000, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/208 "2000-12-19T15:37:05Z")
Hey, look! I missed one! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pnuk Guy \* > \*\*Here’s a bit about me (just to boost the no. of posts) > > My names Anthony Smallwood (some call me Ant)\*\* My nickname originates from the mistyping of Punk I play drums in a band. I’m British to the core. Our band web site (unfinished) is [http://www15.brinkster.com/nbm](http://www15.brinkster.com/nbm) please sign the guestbook to make us seem more popular! \*\* [/QUOTE] Ah, another newbie who’s already mastered the art of the self-promoting post. Well done, sir! Do you mind if I call you Antie-baby? You know I used to play drums. Actually, I used to bang on my mom’s pots and pans with a spoon, but it was playing drums to me. My mom put an end to it because she said I was getting too old for that sort of thing, plus she needed the pots to cook dinner last night. And I think the “Oi, Nancy” thing might have been in reference to Sid and Nancy, as opposed to calling you Nancy. Bite me, punk boy drummer newbie. ---
**Author:** ![Pnuk\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Pnuk\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pnuk_Guy)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2000, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/209 "2000-12-19T15:50:35Z")
**Crunchy** , consider yourself bitten. and i’m sorry for my outburst on the ‘nancy’ issue but it was a spur of the moment thing, i not a fan of being insulted. You may call me Antie-Baby if you can provide a sig line for me. (Hows that, self-promotion and haggling, all in one thread, not too shabby for a newbie) Oh and you can add boastful to my list of qualities. ps. I hate Titanic, Leo DiC looks like a sprout. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2000, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/210 "2000-12-19T16:21:14Z")
Excuse me **Crunchy,** but I just gotta comment on this guy’s sig. > [@](#): > > “I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I’m more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves.” > > - Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead) Of that 23%, 7% are members of Congress, 13% are in the military, and the remaining 3% are on television screaming: “Keep those cards and letters coming in, brothers and sisters!” Sorry **Crunch,** but sometimes the spirit just _moves_ me. (It moved me to Michigan once, but I found my way back.) **Pnuk Guy:** Yer OK kid, welcome aboard. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/211 "2000-12-21T02:53:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > you may be in the running for my new favorite Doper!_\* wahoo. I think you’re lying though. Especially since it took me, what, 2 weeks to check this thread again? > [@](#): > > **I see you move around a lot. What are you wanted for? Murder? Embezzlement? Statutory rape? If you need to pack it up and go on the lam again in May 2002, may I suggest Nebraska?** HEY, they said they sealed those records. I don’t want to talk about that. It was years ago. And I was 16. How do you know about that? > [@](#): > > **What do you do as an auditor anyway? Is it like accounting? I used to have an accountant. Then I bought a calculator.** I audit financial statments, operations, etc. I make sure they are doing their job right. 😛 Of course, that doesn’t takes into consideration the fact that I don’t know what I’m doing half the time. > [@](#): > > \*\*Bite me, newbie. 😃 \*\* grrrrrrr 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_and\_I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Cat\_and\_I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_and_I)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/212 "2000-12-23T19:32:17Z")
Hi, I’m a female 45-year-old electronic technician. You do not want to see nekkidpix of me, unless someone can find some from 25 years ago. I read a lot, right now I am in the middle of a fairly sympathetic biography of Catherine de Medici, but mostly I read science fiction and fantasy, with the occasional mystery. If you writers need someone to look at your stuff and give you opinions, I’ll be glad to do that for you. I realy appreciate good writing! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/213 "2000-12-23T20:11:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cat and I \* > \*\*Hi, I’m a female 45-year-old electronic technician. You do not want to see nekkidpix of me, unless someone can find some from 25 years ago. I read a lot, right now I am in the middle of a fairly sympathetic biography of Catherine de Medici, but mostly I read science fiction and fantasy, with the occasional mystery. If you writers need someone to look at your stuff and give you opinions, I’ll be glad to do that for you. I realy appreciate good writing! \*\* Wow, talk about deja vu! I just searched this whole thread, cuz I could’ve worn I welcomed you already. I distictly remember asking “Catherine de who?” Excuse me now, I think I need to wash my brain, it’s apparently due for a cleaning cuz things are getting jumbled up there. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/214 "2000-12-23T23:26:12Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by eulalia 12-03-2000 04:13 PM_ > \*\*Hi, I’m a female 45-year-old electronic technician. You do not want to see nekkidpix of me, unless someone can find some from 25 years ago. I read a lot, right now I am in the middle of a fairly sympathetic biography of Catherine de Medici, but mostly I read science fiction and fantasy, with the occasional mystery. If you writers need someone to look at your stuff and give you opinions, I’ll be glad to do that for you. I realy appreciate good writing! \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cat and I 12-23-2000 01:32 PM \* > \*\*Hi, I’m a female 45-year-old electronic technician. You do not want to see nekkidpix of me, unless someone can find some from 25 years ago. I read a lot, right now I am in the middle of a fairly sympathetic biography of Catherine de Medici, but mostly I read science fiction and fantasy, with the occasional mystery. If you writers need someone to look at your stuff and give you opinions, I’ll be glad to do that for you. I realy appreciate good writing! \*\* And your search wasn’t sucessful? ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/215 "2000-12-23T23:37:24Z")
Well, after a breif exchnge elsewhere I went and found something else to read of yours and I’m immensely happy that I did, though it took up a good chunk of time, very fun reading. _note to all: do not clean your screen before reading a thread started by Crunchy Frog, and especially don’t be drinking hot cocoa while reading_ I think I’ve already divulged TMI in many threads else where, so I’ll just spend my fiftieth post here with a brief overview. My name’s Doug, I’m a computer consultant, which can translate as mentor, speaker, analyst, guy we pay way to much to do such easy stuff, and most frequently as contract programmer. I’m 35, male, seperated, straight (or you can consider me Bi, but not having met the right guy yet) and poly. I have two cats, one of which is usually on my lap while typing at home. I’m online way too much, consider pizza the worlds most perfect food and play Age of Empires (Conqueror’s Expansion) nearly as much as I read here. My life goal is to win the lottery so I can follow Crunchy’s wonderful suggestion > [@](#): > > I’m done peservering, I want to sit around the house all day in my underwear scratching my balls, playing Playstation, smoking cigarettes, and masturbating while watching lesbian porn. Now that’s a man’s life, mate With the slight modification that I smoke a pipe (yea, normal tobacco, thank you ;)) and want a playstation 2 and while I’m draming, a sypro sequel that’s as good as the last three. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2000, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/216 "2000-12-23T23:40:31Z")
And for those that don’t know who [Catherine de’ Medici](http://www.bartleby.com/65/ca/Cathrin-deM.html) is. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/217 "2000-12-24T02:42:49Z")
**dublos** Thank you for finding that post for me. It’s nice to know it wasn’t just me. When I did a search for the other post, I didn’t want to read everything here again, so I just scanned down the side looking for the name **Cat and I**. And thanks for the Catherine de Whosists link. Ahem . . . now then: > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dublos \* > **I’m 35, male, seperated, straight (or you can consider me Bi, but not having met the right guy yet) and poly.** Look, I’m sorry, but I’m just not interested! Why is it people always think I’m gay? Is it the way I dress? Do I dress too well for a straight guy? Is it my hair? Do I have gay hair? Here’s a true story I don’t know if I’ve told before: My uncle Marty (my mom’s brother) was gay. He was sitting around talking with my mother and grandfather and mentions he thinks I may be gay. My mother speaks up in my defense by saying, “Oh, he’s not gay Marty. He may be bi, but he’s not gay.” Thanks for the Steel Curtain-like defense of my character, Ma. I appreciate that. > [@](#): > > \*\*I have two cats, one of which is usually on my lap while typing at home. \*\* It’s name isn’t anything like _Princess Penelope Prissypants_ is it? If so, you may want to re-examine that whole being straight thing you mentioned earlier. > [@](#): > > \*\*With the slight modification that I smoke a pipe (yea, normal tobacco, thank you ;)) and want a playstation 2 and while I’m draming, a sypro sequel that’s as good as the last three. \*\* You know, if you get a PS2, I may suddenly have to re-examine that whole being straight thing I mentioned earlier. That’s right people, for the low, low price of a PS2, I’ll be a whore and have no pride whatsoever. ---
**Author:** ![dublos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f08c70/32.png) [@dublos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dublos)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2000, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/218 "2000-12-24T03:05:50Z")
Wel, I didn’t name the who I got custody of… but they are Adam and Tawny. Or full registered names Daywarhim Kismet Of Ghattiscurl (Adam) Hunters Glen Harmataan (Tawny) And Crunch… I did follow a link to your pic, and I can definitely say the only 2 player game I wanna play with ya would be on the playstation 2 so no need for you to re-examine that whole being straight thing. I still haven’t “met” a man I’m sexually attracted to. ---
**Author:** ![robgruver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@robgruver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robgruver)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/219 "2000-12-28T01:04:00Z")
Greetings and salutations. My name is Robert Gruver, 24, married with no children. I am a baseball fan, play a lot of computer games, and work in a technical support center for an East Coast DSL provider. I do own a PS2 (got lucky at Best Buy), and no Crunchy, you can’t have it. Even if you bent over an… err… Nevermind. Glad to be posting and hope everyone has a wonderful New Year! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/220 "2000-12-28T14:53:28Z")
**dublos** - don’t flatter yourself. You’re not the only one I’m whoring myself out to. You here me, people?! Anyone with a PS2 willing to sell it to a desperate frog can have your own Crunchy Bitch! > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by robgruver \* > **Greetings and salutations. My name is Robert Gruver** So tell us, where’d you get the idea for that highly original and bizarre username? Be careful about getting hooked here, many people do and they begin to introduce themselves as their username. Try not to let it happen to you too, cuz at that point, there’s no turning back - the SDMB has you. > [@](#): > > **I am a baseball fan, play a lot of computer games, and work in a technical support center for an East Coast DSL provider.** So which team do you like? I always love talking baseball with people. (Which reminds me, the football season is over, the playoffs begin, which means the worst time of the year is nigh - that dreaded wait between football season and baseball season. :sigh: I hope I don’t do anything desperate this year like I did last year. I’m not proud of this or anyhting, but it was so bad last year that I . . . I went downtown and, and then I went to the YMCA, cuz you can always find men there, you know? Well, I was so desperate, I offered these young men money to play a game of baseball. When I couldn’t get enough guys for a team, I offered one kid $50 to pitch a ball at me so I could take a couple swings. I’m so ashamed of myself!!! > [@](#): > > **I do own a PS2 (got lucky at Best Buy), and no Crunchy, you can’t have it. Even if you bent over an… err… Nevermind.** You tease! Just for that, you have to bite me twice, but strictly in a platonic, I-hate-you-cuz-you-got-a-PS2-and-I-don’t sort of way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=12)