# Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958 "2000-11-06T16:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![wolf189](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c67d28/32.png) [@wolf189](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolf189)\ **Post date:** [January 1, 2001, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/261 "2001-01-01T22:24:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*I love when they ramble incoherently! :rolleyes: > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by wolf189 \* > > **Handle: wolf189 (long story, don’t ask…)** > > Why would I ask? I don’t give a shit. Call yourself squidphucker for all I care. > > > [@](#): > > > > **Alternate identities: Stiff n’ Bloody (from my days with the Madison Hash…), Nonny (bonus points to anyone who can correctly identify the origins of this handle…), and Bosco Hugo (who may still be wanted by the police for minor mischief in several states…)** > > Ok, I just gave myself a headache trying to think why any of this has any relevance to anything whatsoever. > > My brain hurts now. > \*\* Ahhh… well then, my job is done now… =) > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Dimensions: 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th (with occasional forrays to the 763rd on slow days) \ Age: 69.314159 zeeps (as counted on my own personal alendar otherwise, 30 yrs old as reckoned by those less enlightened souls still following the more traditional system)** > > Oh great googly moogly! > Apparently you _do_ go insane after dropping acid too many times. Here I thought it was just a UL. > Tell us **squidphucker** (that’s my new nickname for you :D), what is an _alendar_? Anything like an abacus? > \*\* If i didn’t leave typos in then there would be that much less material for the rest of the world to kick me about and we can’t have THAT now can we? > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Gender: male (allegedly)** > > Well, even though I’m no doctor, I think I can help clear this up. Drop your pants. Now drop your underwear. Look between your legs. Do you have an innie or an outie? If you see an outie, you’re a male. If it’s an innie, you’re a female. If you’re still not sure, consult your local physician. > \*\* well… let’s just say that I know for sure, but a little bit of uncertainty helps to keep my enemies guessing (“waitaminute! i have ENEMIES??? eep!” _runs and hides under the sofa_) > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **Last Know Location: N 40 45.524 W 89 40.572 (elevation: 718 ft). Originally a resident of the Windy City, i escaped and spent several years hiding behind the Cheddar Curtain (in Madison, WI) but recently returned to the Land of Lincoln Logs and can occasionally be found at the location mentioned above (plus/minus 16 ft).** > > Thanks for the precise info. It makes programming the smart bombs that much easier. > \*\* we aim to please. (please note that this appears to be in direct contradiction to the assertion above that uncertainty is preferred to accuracy, however it actually helps since there now exists a high degree of doubt as to whether ANY of this material is to be trusted… doubt is good…) > [@](#): > > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > **more to come later, must go annoy the neighbors a bit for now.** > > Yes, please. Why should we have all the fun? > \*\* it’s only polite to share. wolf189 ---
**Author:** ![MissBHaven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missbhaven/32/7170_2.png) [@MissBHaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissBHaven)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/262 "2001-01-02T17:03:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\*…And I keep telling you people, I don’t make up the rules about the nekkid pix. You can say no to me all you want, but the rules is the rules is the rules and eventually I must see every last female poster nekkid. > \*\* Nekkid Pix? I missed this rule! I’m sorry, I’ll get right to work trying to find one. Does it have to be a picture of me? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/263 "2001-01-02T17:10:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miss B. Haven \* > \*\*Nekkid Pix? I missed this rule! I’m sorry, I’ll get right to work trying to find one. Does it have to be a picture of me? \*\* Yes, it does have to be of you. How did you miss this rule? It’s posted throughout the thread? I also realize there’s some newbies waiting to be welcomed. I’ll get to that as soon as I have some more time. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/264 "2001-01-02T17:55:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rotisivian \* > **Err… hi. I’m something that AndYrAStar dragged in.** Thanks for the tip. Now I know who to blame. > [@](#): > > **I’m not really sure why I’m here, but I do indeed appear to be here, so… oh well.** I believe that was also the original philosophy of Rene Descartés. > [@](#): > > \*\*I live in Northern Virginia. I’m female. I’m a student. I waste most of my free time online. The rest of the details of my life are pretty boring, so I’ll just end this post here. \*\* Ah, Virginia. The lovely landscape, the trees, the river, the twang of _Dueling Banjos_. . . So as a woman in Virginia, I gather you’re safe from the unwanted advances of men as long as you stay near the livestock. And just so you know, no time on this board is wasted so long as you interact with me. 😉 BMN ---
**Author:** ![SpecialKaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SpecialKaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpecialKaos)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/265 "2001-01-02T21:26:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \***Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > I don’t know if you’re the first newbie of the new year, but you’re the first one to post to this thread this year.** Well That’s good enough, then. > [@](#): > > _I am a 33 year old single female from Las Vegas. > I have never been a cocktail waitress or topless dancer._ > \*\* > But you don’t see anything morally wrong with that do you? I mean, you wouldn’t have a problem stripping down to nothing and dancing on a table in front of me, pressing your cleavage into my face. . . > ::drool:: > > Sorry, sorry I’m ok now.\*\* Yeah, but now you have ME all riled up!!!1!! > [@](#): > > _I play guitar,and write music. > I have a cushy job that allows me to goof away my afternoons on the computer. > The year 2000 ended on an up note, I hope the trend continues._ > > **You play guitar? Did I mention I play drums? Not real drums, but I bang away at my mom’s pots with a wooden spoon. What kind of music do you write? It better not be that crap I hear Barney singing, or anything remotely related to anything I’ve heard from Yoko Ono.** I write really quirky subtley pissed-off girly stuff,…think Lisa Loeb and Natalie Merchant’s not-so-serious 2nd cousin, I guess. Also some kvitch-y blues stuff. > [@](#): > > \*\* > As you can see from my many posts here, I also have a cushy job. It’s nice isn’t it? \*\* Yep it is! And thank you Mr. Frog (or can I call you Crunchy?) for the warm welcome. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/266 "2001-01-02T21:41:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpecialKaos \* > \*\*And thank you Mr. Frog (or can I call you Crunchy?) for the warm welcome. 😉 \*\* _ **Warm** _ welcome?! Did I forget to tell you to bite me or something? I think I’m losing my touch. ---
**Author:** ![SpecialKaos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@SpecialKaos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpecialKaos)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/267 "2001-01-02T21:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Miss B. Haven \* > > \*\*Nekkid Pix? I missed this rule! I’m sorry, I’ll get right to work trying to find one. Does it have to be a picture of me? \*\* > > Yes, it does have to be of you. How did you miss this rule? It’s posted throughout the thread? > > I also realize there’s some newbies waiting to be welcomed. I’ll get to that as soon as I have some more time. \*\* I missed it, too. Is there any kind of grace period? .gif or .jpg? WHERE’S the airbrush button on my PaintShopPro??? Arrrggghh, the pressure! ~Spesh ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/268 "2001-01-02T21:46:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > I’m not really sure why I’m here, but I do indeed appear to be here, so… oh well. > > I believe that was also the original philosophy of Rene Descartés.\*\* Crunchy, my dear, you absolutely, positively made my day with this line… Is it any wonder I secretly lust after you?? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![SallySimpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@SallySimpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SallySimpson)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/269 "2001-01-02T22:50:59Z")
I’m 18, I’m going to start college in 14 days, and I don’t think I will make many friends. Not that this is of any importance, I just really want to see how you all are going to quote parts of what I have to say to make fun of me. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. If i wasn’t so unmotivated, I would do the same to you all. Oh, and I celebrated New Year’s by dying my hair blue which may or may not have been a mistake. I haven’t decided yet. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/270 "2001-01-03T00:12:16Z")
**FairyChatMom** - “Crunchy, my dear, you absolutely, positively made my day with this line… Is it any wonder I secretly lust after you??” The only thing I wonder about is why you’re so secretive about it. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SallySimpson \* > **I’m 18, I’m going to start college in 14 days, and I don’t think I will make many friends. Not that this is of any importance, I just really want to see how you all are going to quote parts of what I have to say to make fun of me.** Yeah, I’d like to see that too. Oh, shit, that’s MY job! Let me get started: First of all, I’m hardly the most slender of men, but I hardly think I’m large enough to be consider “you all.” Maybe you would make some friends if you stopped randomly insulting people’s weight. > [@](#): > > **If i wasn’t so unmotivated, I would do the same to you all.** You still seem a bit confused sweetie - there is only one of me. Unless of course you’re referring to my heat-seeking moisture missle, my twig and berries, my wonder-weasel, the old one-eyed trouser snake. In that case, feel free to address us individualy. He makes me refer to him in the 3rd person all the time. In fact, it’s gotten to the point where I have to call him _ **Mr.** _ Dick in front of company. > [@](#): > > \*\* Oh, and I celebrated New Year’s by dying my hair blue which may or may not have been a mistake. I haven’t decided yet. \*\* You obviously have a problem thinking for yourself. From now on I will do your decision making for you. We’ll start with the hair. Mistake. Now go dye it back. When you’re done with your hair, bite me like all the others. ---
**Author:** ![Rally\_Vincent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c37758/32.png) [@Rally\_Vincent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rally_Vincent)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/271 "2001-01-03T01:35:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > > * * * > > > [@](#): > > > > I enjoy skiing, rollerblading, crochet, beadwork, reading and anime (Japanese animation). > > We have absolutely nothing in common. Except the reading thing. I like to read. Does Mad Magazine and Hustler count as reading? > > \*\* Well, you never know what else we might have in common that I neglected to mention. I really love your dry wit! ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/272 "2001-01-03T01:40:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rally Vincent \* > **Well, you never know what else we might have in common that I neglected to mention.** You mean you like masturbating to lesbian porn too?! ---
**Author:** ![Rally\_Vincent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c37758/32.png) [@Rally\_Vincent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rally_Vincent)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/273 "2001-01-03T01:53:21Z")
_looks startled_ how…how did you know, Crunchy Frog? _leaves topic, blushing_ ---
**Author:** ![schief2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@schief2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schief2)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/274 "2001-01-03T02:39:39Z")
Well, crud. I guess if I’m going to be coming to the [St. Louis Dopefest](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53545), I might as well take the plunge and drop an introduction, so’s I’m not a _total_ stranger if/when we meet IRL **Crunchy**. Here goes… I’m 22 and I live in Columbia, Missouri, USA. I’ve been registered since August, but I’ve been doing a lot more lurking than posting. I’m going to see if I can’t change that, now that I’ve had 4 or 5 months to get my feet wet. I hail from Arizona originally; I came out here to go to Mizzou, and then ended up getting a job. (I’m a photographer – or if you prefer, the artsy-fartsy term is _photojournalist_, for the local newspaper.) This damned winter has reminded my precisely why I’d love to move back. My most notable accomplishment of late was finishing the “World Beer Tour” at the local Old Chicago; 110 different beers down the hatch (not in one night, of course), and now my name adorns the plaque they’ve got over the bar. I live with 3 roommates, 2 of whom are female - which surprisingly doesn’t seem to bother my girlfriend, in a duplex on a cul-de-sac that the city has yet to plow once this winter. Our neighbors caused me to open my sole [pit thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=50513) to date…the newspapers still pile up, but not at the rate they used to. What else…I drive a '73 Dodge Dart Swinger which sometimes starts, if it’s in a good mood. To date, 2 other cars have been totaled when their drivers ran into me, but the Dart marches proudly on. (Albeit with a lot of lingering battle scars from its last encounter, back in October.) I was once chased by a mob of angry Turks across the border into Syria. It’s a long story; maybe I’ll tell it sometime. I guess that’s a start. Take your best shot. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2001, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/275 "2001-01-04T14:48:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by schief2 \* > **Well, crud. I guess if I’m going to be coming to the [St. Louis Dopefest](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53545), I might as well take the plunge and drop an introduction, so’s I’m not a _total_ stranger if/when we meet IRL Crunchy. Here goes…** Yeah, good call. So you post here, I tease you, we all go to the DopeFest, _someone_ gets drunk and starts yelling at me, “Ya know what Frog-Boy? You’re a smart-ass! Who the hell are YOU to tell me to bite you? Why don’t you open wide and take a nice big bite of my --” That sounds like a fun night. > [@](#): > > **I’ve been registered since August, but I’ve been doing a lot more lurking than posting. I’m going to see if I can’t change that, now that I’ve had 4 or 5 months to get my feet wet.** 4-5 months to get your _feet_ wet? Son, in that amount of time you could’ve > [@](#): > > **I hail from Arizona originally; I came out here to go to Mizzou, and then ended up getting a job. (I’m a photographer – or if you prefer, the artsy-fartsy term is _photojournalist_, for the local newspaper.) This damned winter has reminded my precisely why I’d love to move back.** Not to mention the fact you’re in COLUMBIA! When you’re in the journalism bix, you need to go to the big cities, where the action is - like Farmington or Branson! You know when I was stationed in Texas for 4 years, I used to miss this snow shit. Just goes to show how stupid I was in my youth. I live with 3 roommates, 2 of whom are female - which surprisingly doesn’t seem to bother my girlfriend, in a duplex on a cul-de-sac that the city has yet to plow once this winter. > [@](#): > > \*\*What else…I drive a '73 Dodge Dart Swinger which sometimes starts, if it’s in a good mood. To date, 2 other cars have been totaled when their drivers ran into me, but the Dart marches proudly on. \*\* Too bad I don’t have my old '66 Chevy II. I bet that monster could put an end to your Dodge’s run. As long as you did’t hit the passenger side front fender, which was sculpted almost completely out of Bondo. Bite me, psuedo-newbie. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/276 "2001-01-05T21:56:37Z")
Now that I’ve had my first GQ thread go past 25 replies (the People Kibble thread, at [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53966](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53966)), and gotten in a fight in the Pit, I figured I’d get in line for my required abuse. I’m in Tucson, Arizona, and I have hobbies. I also spend too much time making a living, and not nearly enough goofing off. I hope the SDMB can cure me of that, though. Anyone want to adopt me? Andy Looking forward to a big bite of Crunchy Frog ---
**Author:** ![SallySimpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@SallySimpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SallySimpson)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/277 "2001-01-06T09:10:05Z")
You obviously have a problem thinking for yourself. From now on I will do your decision making for you. We’ll start with the hair. Mistake. Now go dye it back. When you’re done with your hair, bite me like all the others. \*\* [/QUOTE] Actually, I like it, Mr. Dick. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/278 "2001-01-07T22:59:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mrvisible \* > **Now that I’ve had my first GQ thread go past 25 replies (the People Kibble thread, at [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53966](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53966)), and gotten in a fight in the Pit, I figured I’d get in line for my required abuse.** [Graham Chapman] Oh, no, no. This is Sarcastic Welcoming. Abuse is down the hall, room 2A. Stupid git. [/Graham Chapman] > [@](#): > > \*\*I’m in Tucson, Arizona, and I have hobbies. I also spend too much time making a living, and not nearly enough goofing off. I hope the SDMB can cure me of that, though. \*\* Ok, people, I know I asked for a _few_ sentences, but you have to realize the more you give me to work with, the better I can welcome you. Oh. **mrvisible** has hobbies, does he? Well thank you for allowing us tha ever-so-brief glimps into your world, in which are are obviously not worthy to tread. :rolleyes: So, since **mrvisible** has seen fit to give me free rein here, let me elaborate on what a couple of those hobbies are: When he goes shopping, he accepts only plastic bags, which he is saving up in order to make his own inflatable “partner”. He enjoys going to the zoo to taunt the monkeys about knowing how to use his opposable thumbs. He also thinks dodging as they throw their feces at him is a fun game. > [@](#): > > **Anyone want to adopt me?** You’re in the wrong thread for that, newbie. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![KitKhat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b3f665/32.png) [@KitKhat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KitKhat)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/279 "2001-01-08T00:14:17Z")
I’ve been lurking around for over a year from work and when they finally blocked the site altogether, I bought a computer for home at last. I was so mad at them for adding this expense to my budget that I handed in my resignation. (Okay, there were many other reasons.) I’m now working part-time at a coffee shop in Chicago while taking writing and photography classes. I’m hoping it will take 6 months or less to start a new career that’s much less stress and aggravation than there was at the bank where I used to work. You’ll probably be seeing a lot more posts from me now that I only work 20 hours a week! I hope from my user name you can tell I’m female. I’m 30 and not sure I like it yet. I live in the LakeView neighborhood in Chicago and love it here. I also love the snow and don’t have a car. I know this is long. Crunchy, be careful who you invite to bite. I’ve been known to draw blood! And I like to be bitten back… ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/280 "2001-01-08T00:42:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KitKhat \* > \*\*I’ve been lurking around for over a year from work and when they finally blocked the site altogether, I bought a computer for home at last. I was so mad at them for adding this expense to my budget that I handed in my resignation. (Okay, there were many other reasons.) \*\* I’m thinking of turning in my resignation too. Was one of the other reasons the same as mine? My boss overheard me call him too stupid to pick his own nose without written instructions, and now he says it’s a problem that I relax at work by dressing up as Liza Minelli and singing _Cabaret_ while lifting my skirt to show my co-workers that I’m not wearing any underwear and rubbing myself down with hot oil and melted chocolate. Coincidence? I think not. > [@](#): > > **You’ll probably be seeing a lot more posts from me now that I only work 20 hours a week!** Well, I look forward to seeing more of you (especially the obligatory nude pix :)) > [@](#): > > **I hope from my user name you can tell I’m female.** Actually, I thought you just had a thing for chocolate-cover wafers. > [@](#): > > **I know this is long.** I’m a little brain fried right now, so insert your own awkwardly flirtatious sexual innuendo here. Then email me, tell me what it was and whether or not it turned you on. 😃 > [@](#): > > **Crunchy, be careful who you invite to bite. I’ve been known to draw blood! And I like to be bitten back…** Um, damn, I wish I wasn’t so tired. Insert another sexual innuendo, something to do with teeth and biting and, oh to hell with it – Bite me, newbie. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=15)