# Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958 "2000-11-06T16:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![St.Attila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@St.Attila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Attila)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/301 "2001-01-18T01:52:33Z")
šŸ™‚ ::deep breath:: ā€¦and now, I am a man. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/302 "2001-01-18T03:12:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by St. Attila \* > \*\*ā€¦and now, I am a man. \*\* Letā€™s not go that far. After all, youā€™re married. What does your wife have to say about that? I remember that I was a man before I moved in with a woman. Then I learned that the _woman_ decides how much of a man you are. Before we split up, I remember the days, longingly looking at my balls - which she kept in a jar on the mantle sitting between my pride and my dignity, across the room from the closet in which was a box containing my self-respect. (She didnā€™t want these things too close together, for fear of what may happen should they all fall into my possesiion at the same time.) She would take them off the mantle and let me have them for short periods of time when she deemed it appropriate. Thank God she only kept some of my CDs when I moved out. ---
**Author:** ![Race\_Bannon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Race\_Bannon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Race_Bannon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/303 "2001-01-18T03:43:47Z")
I nearly ignored this thread, 'till I saw Cruncy rooting for the Rams. Then I got homesick. I can remember watching the Cardinals (football that is) playing at Busch. All that hoopla about building a dome so a real team would come. So I leave town, and StL signs up a home run champ and has a superbowl trophy. Enough to make a sportsfan cry. A few years ago my job moved to Alabama. Now I find myself doing a lot more reading and drinking for some reason. Now I got me this here new cable modem, and here I am doing the doper thing, instead of spending my $ on something useful, like entertainment over at PTā€™s (does Jennifer Blaze still dance ^H^H^H^H work there?) ---
**Author:** ![BrokenInHalf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a3d4f5/32.png) [@BrokenInHalf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrokenInHalf)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/304 "2001-01-18T07:11:24Z")
Okay, I think that little 13(now 14) still qualifies me as a newbie, so here goes: Iā€™m a 20 year old on-again/off-again (mostly off-again these days) college student looking for an easy way out of my parentsā€™ house. I have an unnatural attachment to the music of the Smashing Pumpkins (who broke up last year, sadly), which is I guess somewhat natural for a born and bred Chicago suburbanite. Iā€™m a male, so that means (sadly) no naked pictures. Iā€™ve been studying quite a bit on Taoism the past year or so (old school Chuang Tzu philosophy, not the religion), though I just had to nab the Hagakure (Book of the Samurai) after seeing _Ghost Dog_. This, after being introduced to anime by a friend of mine, officially makes me one of those annoying young white guys who spends way to much time and energy on the far east, I suppose. Sigh. I currently work as a bank teller, a ridiculously easy job full of wonderful people that I will (again, sadly) have to quit soon in the search for something that actually pays money. Sigh. Otherwise, Iā€™m a writer who never actually writes, a musician who canā€™t play more than two or three chords without hurting his fingers, and a philosopher whoā€™s slowly discovering that everything heā€™s ever thought was an original thought had already been discovered and claimed by people long dead. Again, sigh. Anyway, Iā€™ve since passed ā€œa couple quick sentencesā€ and am fast approaching ā€œa novel or anythingā€, so I shall cease and desist from writing more. ---
**Author:** ![Jessity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jessity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jessity)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2001, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/305 "2001-01-18T15:13:42Z")
I am de-virginizing myself here (Which Iā€™ve done before) so be gentleā€¦ Iā€™m a 21 year old female, from Southern Ohio. I live at home with my parents, and I will be going back to college in September for my bachelorā€™s degree. Until then, I am enjoying my laziness to the extreme. I like all things ā€œhomegrownā€ and enjoy almost all kinds of music. I hate horses, but love cats, dogs and cows. Iā€™d like to get married some day, but am still looking for a man that I can hold down long enough to get him properly hog-tied. I am now having a brain fart so I will goā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/306 "2001-01-19T02:05:41Z")
Since being reminded that I still hadnā€™t made my presence known here, I decided to pop my head in, brace for the worst, and then run screaming into the night. _little wave_ Hi all, Iā€™m TruePisces, dragged here kicking and screamingā€¦ I mean, introduced to this wonderful board by lurkernomore, good friend of four years. Iā€™m a single girl down in Florida, originally from upstate New York. I do a little web design (not well) and to make money, I work through a temp agency. Iā€™ve got a sci-fi mailing list that I run (again, not well) and I read almost anything thatā€™s put into my hands. What else do you want to know? _braces for the impact of Crunchyā€™s acerbic wit_ TruePisces ---
**Author:** ![hampster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/53a042/32.png) [@hampster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hampster)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/307 "2001-01-19T02:55:52Z")
Since Crunchy begged so nicely, and Iā€™m blatantly trying to pad my post count-- here goes. First started lurking on these boards when Lurkernomore sent me a link to [Funny things said during love making/intimate momentsā€¦](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=24960) Lurked sporadically since then. Finally joined up when TruePisces did. 21 year old male nerd, Living in central Ontario with my parents. Desperately trying to scrape together enough money to move to Toronto after being left penniless by paying for college; this is complicated by the fact that Iā€™ve been laid off. So Iā€™m stuck in this land of lift-locks, geriatrics, and the highest number of donut shops per capita in the world. Sitting at home for hours on end with absolutely nothing to do and I still managed to lurk, damn Iā€™m good at it. Donā€™t watch TV except for the X-Files mostly, Read too much sf, f, horror and fanfiction. Favorite authors are Spider Robinson, Heinlein Mercedes Lackey, Neil Gaiman and Anne Rice. ---
**Author:** ![MissMisery](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@MissMisery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMisery)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/308 "2001-01-19T04:08:24Z")
I am definitely a newbie due to the fact that I just registered twenty minutes ago. The only reason I did register because I am stalking(I use the term loosely) someone that uses this board often, and the rest doesnā€™t really matter. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/309 "2001-01-19T04:49:07Z")
ā€¦so forgive me if I seem to rush through this. **kellymccauley** > [@](#): > > **I can remember watching the Cardinals (football that is) playing at Busch. All that hoopla about building a dome so a real team would come. So I leave town, and StL signs up a home run champ and has a superbowl trophy. Enough to make a sportsfan cry.** First off ā€“ damn you for making me feel old. I remember the football Cardinals playing at Busch stadium also. I remember being angry that they went to Phoenix. Then the Rams won the Superbowl. All is forgiven now. Oh, Iā€™m sorry, Iā€™m not rubbing it in, am I? > [@](#): > > **A few years ago my job moved to Alabama.** You poor sorry bastard. I had been to Alabama once, while driving to Ft Walton Beach, FL from San Antonio TX. We stoped there for the night on the way back and asked a gas station attendant what there was to do in Alabama. He asked if weā€™d driven through already. We said yes. He said then weā€™d done all there is to do in Alabama. > [@](#): > > **Now I got me this here new cable modem, and here I am doing the doper thing, instead of spending my $ on something useful, like entertainment over at PTā€™s (does Jennifer Blaze still dance ^H^H^H^H work there?)** Been in Alabama a while, have you? ā€œI got me this here new cable modemā€¦ā€ Might as well add ā€œuh-Hyuckā€ at the end of that and change your named to Cletus. And I wouldnā€™t know about Jennifer Blaze, I rarely go to the East Side anymore, and when was she there to begin with? Iā€™m 27, so if this was back in the early to mid 80s, I was too young. **BrokenInHalf** (ouch!) > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m a 20 year old on-again/off-again (mostly off-again these days) college student looking for an easy way out of my parentsā€™ house. I have an unnatural attachment to the music of the Smashing Pumpkins (who broke up last year, sadly), which is I guess somewhat natural for a born and bred Chicago suburbanite. Iā€™m a male, so that means (sadly) no naked pictures.** Ok - one at a time: 1. Getting out of your parents house: Get a job, you slacker! Moping around your parentsā€™ basement bemoaning the fact that you have to live in your parentsā€™ basement will not get you out of said parentsā€™ basement. 2. _ **Any** _ attachment to the Smashing Pumpkins is unnatural. Iā€™ve never liked them and what the hellā€™s with Billy Corganā€™s(sp?) whole _Nosferatu_ look heā€™s got going on? 3. Being male does not exclude you from sending nekkid pix. Just donā€™t send them to me. Male newbies must send nekkid pix to Shayna, Silly Rabbit, evilbeth, and any other female poster who decides they need to see your willy. If a picture of your willy is not sent within 15 days, I pity the man for what will befall him. > [@](#): > > **Iā€™ve been studying quite a bit on Taoism the past year or so (old school Chuang Tzu philosophy, not the religion), though I just had to nab the Hagakure (Book of the Samurai) after seeing Ghost Dog.** Ghost Dog? You mean Space Ghost has a pet? > [@](#): > > **I currently work as a bank teller, a ridiculously easy job full of wonderful people that I will (again, sadly) have to quit soon in the search for something that actually pays money.** A bank teller moaning about needing money. How ironic. you know, maybe if you finished collegeā€¦ DAMMIT! Sorry, I was channelling my mother there for a second. Wonā€™t happen again. > [@](#): > > \*\*\*Blah blah blah, my life sucks, Iā€™m pitiful, blah blah blahā€¦ \* Again, sigh. \*\* Whatā€™s with all the heavy breathing? Thereā€™s phone lines for that sort of thing, you know, Iā€™ll not have it going on in my thread! **Aphrodite** - Iā€™m liking you already just cuz of the name šŸ˜‰ > [@](#): > > **I am de-virginizing myself here (Which Iā€™ve done before) so be gentleā€¦** So, you want to drop me an email telling me all about how you de-virginized yourself the first time? > [@](#): > > **I like all things ā€œhomegrownā€ and enjoy almost all kinds of music.** Iā€™m cool, I understand what you mean. I like mine ā€œhomegrownā€ too. I do you enjoy your ā€œhomegrownā€ with some Bob Marley playing in the background? Thatā€™s the way I do it. > [@](#): > > **Iā€™d like to get married some day, but am still looking for a man that I can hold down long enough to get him properly hog-tied.** Oooooh, and sheā€™s into bondage! Donā€™t forget to send me your nekkid pix like all the other female newbies. **TruePisces** - about damn time! > [@](#): > > \*\*Iā€™m a single girl down in Florida, originally from upstate New York. I do a little web design (not well) and to make money, I work through a temp agency. Iā€™ve got a sci-fi mailing list that I run (again, not well) and I read almost anything thatā€™s put into my hands. What else do you want to know? \*\* I donā€™t know, maybe something interesting? _And you signed your post!_ I guess you didnā€™t bother to read the part of the thread where I mentioned that thatā€™s a pet peeve of mine. You see the box to the left of your post? It has your name right there! Plus you introduced yourself in the post! Then you SIGNED your post. You appear to be a touch egocentric with all these mentionings of your own name. I, Crunchy Frog, do no such thing. I am willing to let people see the name **Crunchy Frog** to the left of my posts and have them sort out for themselves that it was I, Crunchy Frog, who wrote the post. I donā€™t go plastering the name Crunchy Frog all over my posts, do I? Of course we seem to have something in common as your work ethic appears to be the same as mine ā€“ ā€œIf a thing is worth doing, itā€™s worth doing a half-assed job on.ā€ And what the hellā€™s up with that sig? Brilliant! I think I may make yesterdayā€™s phone conversation with my mom into my next sig: My Mom: I talked you into buying a vegetable tray, maybe Iā€™ll call your girlfriend and tell her, although itā€™s really not that big of a deal. Me: If itā€™s no big deal, why did you run up and down the isles of the store shouting ā€œMy son bought vegetablesā€ for 20 minutes, hmm? My Mom: Well itā€™s not a big deal now, but wait till she moves in with you. What do you think? Great isnā€™t it? **Scralden** - and the same goes for you too! > [@](#): > > **Since Crunchy begged so nicely, and Iā€™m blatantly trying to pad my post count-- here goes.** Interesting. I donā€™t recall _begging_. In fact, hereā€™s what I said: ā€œAnd TruePisces, funny, I donā€™t recall seeing your name in the Welcome Wagon thread. I advise any newbies going there to read the rules on the first page so you know itā€™s all meant in fun - just some harmeless teasing. If you read the posts youā€™ll see as much of my self-depricating humor as there is of my sarcastic humor aimed at the newbies. Remember itā€™s all tongue-in-cheek, so donā€™t take it too seriously.ā€ Just for that libelous remark about begging, you wonā€™t be welcomed. šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/310 "2001-01-19T04:57:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MissMisery \* > **I am definitely a newbie due to the fact that I just registered twenty minutes ago. The only reason I did register because I am stalking(I use the term loosely) someone that uses this board often, and the rest doesnā€™t really matter.** Ok, spill it, who are you stalking? And if you want to be properly welcomed, I need some more info. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/311 "2001-01-19T13:20:45Z")
Iā€™m 40, work as an editor, am the owner of a large-ish dog. I play guitar, collect things that make noise or music, prefer world music or anything with guitar in it. I follow politics and world affairs. I have 4 tatoos and my left ear is pierced in two traditional places (both in lobe). I was a Spanish/Sociology major, donā€™t know how I ended up in publishing. ---
**Author:** ![Grimace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@Grimace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grimace)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/312 "2001-01-19T16:58:09Z")
Well, lets see, post #4ā€¦yeah, Iā€™m a newbie! Although iā€™ve lurked these boards for close to 7 months, I decided to jump on in. BTW, Heya Crunchy, you just picked up another fellow St. Louisian (heh is that even a word?). Iā€™m 30, work in IT/IS field, and have been called sick, twisted, demented, and halarious, so I should fit in nicely here šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/313 "2001-01-19T18:46:36Z")
_Crunchy Frog:_ \*\* > [@](#): > > First off ā€“ damn you for making me feel old. I remember the football Cardinals playing at Busch stadium also. I remember being angry that they went to Phoenix. Then the Rams won the Superbowl. All is forgiven now. \*\* Want 'em back? Please? Maybe then Arizona can get a real team. ---
**Author:** ![Clairmont](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@Clairmont](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clairmont)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/314 "2001-01-19T23:26:13Z")
My name is Steve Clairmont (yeah, thatā€™s my real name, and what can you do to me?) and Crunchy Frog said I should sign in. Iā€™m an instrument technician working for a chemical company. Iā€™m 41 years old, have a wife, a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I also have a dog named Hawkins and a mortgage up to here. Try to contain your excitement. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/315 "2001-01-19T23:26:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jadailey \* > \*\*Want 'em back? Please? Maybe then Arizona can get a real team. \*\* No, thatā€™s okay. Iā€™ve grown accostomed to seeing Faulk, Warner, Bruce, Holt, et al. Now that Iā€™ve adapted, Arizona can keep the Cardinals. **Chrome Spot** says: > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m 40, work as an editor, am the owner of a large-ish dog. I play guitar, collect things that make noise or music, prefer world music or anything with guitar in it.** Wow, it seems we would have much in common ā€“ if only I was interested in any of those things. I play Playstation and collect comic books and baseball memorabilia. So what is ā€œworldā€ music? I work as a computer tech, but my hobbies are baseball, drawing, writing, and masturbation (which I hope to do professionally one day). \*\* > [@](#): > > I follow politics and world affairs.\*\* I follow the St Louis Cardinals and the Rams. I do occasionally pay attention to world affairs though. Did you hear about Yassir Arafat and that diplomt from Jordan? Itā€™s really juicy! Or were those not the kind of affairs you were referring to? > [@](#): > > **I have 4 tatoos and my left ear is pierced in two traditional places (both in lobe).** Ha ha! I win! I have 6 tattoos and at one time had my left ear pierced three times and my right ear once. I donā€™t wear any jewelry now, though. **Grimace** - why, are you in pain or something? > [@](#): > > **BTW, Heya Crunchy, you just picked up another fellow St. Louisian (heh is that even a word?).** No it isnā€™t. You make me sad. Here I am trying to prove that Missourians arenā€™t all simple farming Bible thumpers, that some of us do think and then you show up and donā€™t even know what to call yourself. Any self-respecting person from St Louis knows we are called St Louisitian-type-people. You know you just missed a DopeFest donā€™t you? You couldā€™ve met me, Palandine, Miss B Haven, Kunilou and his wife, Dyno Saur, and schief2. Oh well, your loss. > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m 30, work in IT/IS field, and have been called sick, twisted, demented, and halarious, so I should fit in nicely here.** I see how youā€™re gonna be. [John Wayne] I donā€™t think these boards are big enough for two sick, twisted, demented St Louisans, pilgrim. [/John Wayne] BTW - note what I called people from St Louis, just for future reference. Welcome aboard people. BMN ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2001, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/316 "2001-01-19T23:32:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clairmont \* > **My name is Steve Clairmont (yeah, thatā€™s my real name, and what can you do to me?) and Crunchy Frog said I should sign in.** Actually, I said since youā€™re already rather familiar already with the boards, my welcoming you would be redundant. > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m an instrument technician working for a chemical company.** So what, you fix, like, trumpets and stuff for the companyā€™s glee club? > [@](#): > > **Iā€™m 41 years old, have a wife, a 17 year old daughter and a 13 year old son. I also have a dog named Hawkins and a mortgage up to here.** So both the dog and the mortgage are up to there? What kind of dog is it, St Bernard? Great Dane? Mastiff? Grizzly? Great White? > [@](#): > > **Try to contain your excitement.** Iā€™m trying, but I just canā€™t wait till she turns 18. Oh, sorry, you meant contain my excitement about _you_. Ok, thatā€™s a done deal then. ---
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2001, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/317 "2001-01-22T21:30:55Z")
CF, thank you for giving me the opportunity to make myself a target for you. Someone whoā€™s unbiasedly sarcastic is either very admirable or very bored. I am a 33 year old woman with gray hair and acne. Sucks to be me šŸ˜› I sorta wandered into the dopers page and have been glued here since. (The first 4 days were the worst, but now Iā€™ve realized when I sleep, the page will be here when I wake up) I have to young children and an evil tazmanian devil dog, I mean a minature pinscher whoā€™s favorite foods include leather belts and shoes. Okay enough about me. Thanks for the chance to say a big olā€™ HELLO to everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2001, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/318 "2001-01-23T23:34:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tequila Mockingbird \* > \*\* Someone whoā€™s unbiasedly sarcastic is either very admirable or very bored. \*\* Canā€™t I be both? > [@](#): > > \*\*I am a 33 year old woman with gray hair and acne. Sucks to be me \*\* Iā€™m a 27 year old with the body of a 77 year old. My hairā€™s going gray at the temples, I have a trick knee, a bad shoulder, and chronic bronchitis. I donā€™t dance anymore because my bodyā€™s so beat up I sound like a bowl of Rice Krispies on the dance floor. _Acne_! Luxury, sheer luxury says I! > [@](#): > > **I have to young children and an evil tazmanian devil dog, I mean a minature pinscher whoā€™s favorite foods include leather belts and shoes.** Mmmm, leather shoes. Reminds me of the days growing up in that cardboard box at the bottom of the lake. Me and my twenty siblings and mom and dad. We used to have to wake up and 12:30 am, a half an hour after going to bed, work for 20 hours at the mines, then come home clean the lake with our tongues and if we were lucky have a bowl of stewed shoe sole for dinner before Dad came home and beat us till we fell asleep. Ah, those were the good daysā€¦ And you think it sucks to be you. Bite me, newbie. ---
**Author:** ![Wytehawk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Wytehawk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wytehawk)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/319 "2001-01-24T02:10:07Z")
Well, it look like this thread is still going, so Iā€™d better make my appearance here too. Iā€™m a 25y/o male, living in Melbourne, Australia. I have just quit my job as a public servant to take up a new career as a firefighter. I spend way too much time reading assorted science fiction/fantasy, or surfing the web while I should be working. (But hey, Iā€™m still a public servant at the moment, thatā€™s part of the job description, right?) I still live with my parents, but thatā€™s only 'cos itā€™s cheaper than renting (Iā€™m trying to save for a house, trying being the operative word). ---
**Author:** ![Clucky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@Clucky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clucky)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2001, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/320 "2001-01-24T04:29:59Z")
Okay, itā€™s time to face the music (cue Peace Frog, by the Doors). CF, it seems youā€™re swamped (get it? swamped? eh-heh, eh-heh ā€¦ eh-heh, uh, anyway) with responses, but could you see fit to give me a virtual spanking? THANK YOU, SIR, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER? Iā€™m 30. I married in September 1999. We have a baby, Jessica, born Nov. 2, 2000. I do P.R. for a city near St. Louis. Iā€™m not a tall man. Iā€™m not a brilliant man. My only talent to speak of is that I can write reasonably well. I do have three annoying but lovable cats: Theo, Peanut and Waggs. I desparately want to write a book, but Iā€™m also pretty sure I have A.D.D. Anyway, where was I? Iā€™m also a huge St. Louis Rams fan (and I have the old, worn Rams jacket to prove I was a greeter on the bandwagon last year.) The sig is from _Caddyshack_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=17)