# Crunchy Frog's Welcome Wagon (newbies take note) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 6, 2000, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958 "2000-11-06T16:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/41 "2000-11-06T21:01:42Z")
Welcome to all the new posters. Count yourselves lucky people you got here at the right time. We’ve just managed to get rid of a real pain in the ass called Bratman 😉 And if the frog gets to heavy you could always blow very hard when your down there kissing his ass. _pop_ ---
**Author:** ![jesuslynch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e99b99/32.png) [@jesuslynch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jesuslynch)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/42 "2000-11-06T21:02:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tygr \* > **Aw, how cool is _this_… > A real opportunity to be welcomed (and be-rated) by a living SDMB legend.** You don’t know the half of it. Hey, bring me my booze ya brat. Man, what does someone have to do to get a drink around here? ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/43 "2000-11-06T21:10:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nymysys \* > \*\*In the spirit of tongue-in-cheek I must state that really I never expected to rouse YOUR interests in stating mine. Perhaps I’m using this thread to pick up new guys. French-Dude-With-The-Fucked-Up-Name, for instance. Or perhaps I thought someone…I dunno…INTERESTING would also post after seeing how cool I am. Someone who has something to do with their days. Someone with a sense of humour. \*\* I’m _really_ starting to like you, Nymysys. So far you’ve implied: you’re not interested in me at all, I’m not interesting, I have nothing to do with my days, and I have no sense of humor. Cool. I like a person who can dish it out as well as take it. **vix** > [@](#): > > \*\*Anyway, I’m not as bright and shiny new as some of the respondents here, but I’m feeling slightly masochistic, and I haven’t had a bite of ass for a while… > > And now for the introductory facts… actually, scratch that. Since you’re feeling so witty today, I’ll give you a little challenge. Can you think of any facts about me without searching??? There’ll be some kind of prize if you can\*\* 10,000+ memebers and I’m supposed to know shit about you? Guess I just have to make stuff up, since I’m not supposed to search and all. **Vix** is the offspring of an IRS agent and a pig farmer. By day, Vix’s father may do boring accounting stuff, but at night, he became AuditMan, and fought crime in the streets. Vix wanted to be a superhero too, longer for the days when Unlce Clem could bathe himself, cuz quite frankly Vix didn’t like the lecherous looks received from Uncle Clem during the sponge baths . . . Vix’s only escape is the internet, and has landed here. Welcome semi-newbie, and bite me, but brush your teeth first, I don’t know where you’ve been. **Just A Girl** \*\* > [@](#): > > I’m 17 years old and a junior in High School in a suburb or Atlanta, GA. A short description: 5’5, 120lbs., light brown hair with blond highlights, green eyes, freckles. I would consider myself sort of a typical “girl-next-door” type bc I’m very laid back and I relate to guys much easier than girls. (That doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or anything…make no mistake ) I’m an aspiring journalist (preferably of the broadcast persuassion) and an aspiring writer. I love reading, writing, music, sports, and I appreciate almost nothing more than intelligence and a sense of humor in any person. So that’s me in a nutshell…Hope to find some common ground with the rest of you. \*\* Ok, enough of the small talk, when are you gonna email me nekkid pix of you? Too bad about you not being a lesbian, you just ruined the fantasies I was planning on having before bed tonight. I’m an aspiring novelist myself. I’ve written two things so far: Jack and shit. So that’s you in a nutshell, huh? I thought you in a nutshell – aw, nevermind, I’m not gonna rip off that joke from _Austin Powers_. You want to find something in common with the rest of us? Do you enjoy felching? Welcome aboard and I’m really getting bored with the “Bite me, newbie” line, so for now on I’ll just say BMN. **Tygr** \*\* > [@](#): > > I’m male, firmly entrenched in the last year of my twentys. > Live in Raleigh, NC. > Married to jkayla (Hey, baby - grrowr!) > Work as a graphic designer (nothing TOO graphic, if you please…) > Working up the nerve to buy our first house before the year is out (jkayla _insists_ we move into some place that’s large enough to accomodate a Christmas tree before 12/25). > First encountered Straight Dope in a free newspaper seen around NC State campus about 10 years ago. Found SD online a coupl’a years ago and have lurked the boards since then. > The wife posted here over this past weekend for the first time, and I’m _certainly_ not gonna be outdone by a GIRL, so here I’ve strapped on my water wings and dove right in. > Oh, yeah, I’m a terrible typist (it’s taken me 1/2 an hour just to bang this note out) but I’ll try to post whenever somebody says something interesting. > … and $10 and a smack on the bottom says you can’t tell where MY sig line is from. > > Give little\*bit a squeeze for me. (where you squeeze her is at your discretion) \*\* Ok, Tygr, sparky, buddy. You only need to hit the “Submit Reply” button once. I know it sometimes looks like your post didn’t go through, but it almost always does. You’re married to who? Is **jkayla** a user name or did you drop the mouse on your keyboard? **cykrider** \*\* > [@](#): > > I’m a college student @ Texas A&M Galveston, but I’m transfering to Miami University in Oxford, OH. I love long distance bike rides such as the MS-150 and the such. I also like volleyball, soccer, and marching band. I was the drum major in my high school band and played trumpet. I hate Texas and I hate GEORGE W. BUSH even more. If he can’t govern this dam state, how is he going to take care of a nation? [/rant] If their is anything I hate more than Texas, it’s Texas A&M and the studpid ass Aggies. No flame intended, but I can’t stand the South in general! 2 more months till I can move up to civilization! > > Anyways, I’m 6’5, blonde hair, male who is going to major in MIS. I like designing web-pages, coding, and making fun of stupid people (I get lots of practice down here).\*\* What can I say, I was stationed at Brooks AFB in San Antonio for four year. I feel your pain. I treat you as disrespectfully as I have the other newbies, but being trapped in Texas is bad enough, you don’t need anymore grief from me. (I find it’s always best to treat the unstable people with a gentle touch.) I hope your medication kicks in soon and you have fun in Florida. And **Zenster** , you’re not upset are you? You’re aren’t getting jealous, right? For those who don’t know, I had once called **Zenster** my favorite new poster. It was, in fact, at one time part of his sig. He’s since changed his sig, so now the position of **Crunchy Frog’s favorite new poster** is once again open. And what an honor that is :rolleyes: No offense, **Zenny** , you know I like you when I lump you in with ClogBoy and the Evil One. **Dr\_Paprika** > [@](#): > > \*\* I am a 28 and currently working as an intern in Spittleville, Canada. Before studying medicine, I got a degree in engineering physics. Before that, I was still the same sarcastic, slicked-back smart-ass that I am today. > > I enjoy jazz, some blues and alternative music. I have been reading the Dope for about twelve years. My favourite movie might be “The Big Sleep”. The last book I read was Robertson Davies’ “The Cunning Man”. I like to cook and plot how to blow up moons.\*\* Spittleville, huh? You know, if you don’t want to tell us where you live, that’s fine but there’s no need to get all smart-asstic about it. I live in Bumblefuck, Mo BTW. Welcome and BMN. I’m _seriously_ thinking I got in over my head with this thread! ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/44 "2000-11-06T21:40:08Z")
In over your head, eh? Not enough ass for all of us to bite? Funny how quickly you boys give up when things don’t run smoothly. “It’s not PREMATURE, it’s EFFICIENT!” Apropos of nothing, yet amusing, yes? ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/45 "2000-11-06T21:44:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cykrider \* > \*\*No flame intended, but I can’t stand the South in general! 2 more months till I can move up to civilization! > > I like designing web-pages, coding, and making fun of stupid people (I get lots of practice down here). > > I can’t think of anything else…better go to class before someone sees what I said about this dam school. \*\* Hey, “no flame intended,” but as someone born in Texas, and raised in Georgia, and I’m gonna have to defend the South for a minute. First off, this is very much “civilization” thank you very much. Last time I looked outside, there weren’t any cavemen sitting around banging rocks together. Second, it’s absurd to denounce an entire section of the country as “stupid” as if there has never been an idiotic person in the north. Sure, the south is known to have “rednecks” but here in the south, we have a word for obnoxious Yankees. You may have heard it before - “Jackass.” Now before you jump all over me, let me point out that I’m not generalizing all northerners as jackasses, only the obnoxious ones who come down to the South and then complain about our culture. Newsflash: Nobody down here is in great awe of your “superior” presence. If you don’t want to be here, and no one’s holding a gun to your head to stay, then by all means - go! P.S. To the best of my knowledge, Texas A&M isn’t a dam (as in a structure that holds back water) school, but an agricultural school. If you were trying to use the word in the derogatory sense (i.e. the curse word), it’s spelled “damn.” Imagine that, a “dumb southerner” who can spell… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/46 "2000-11-06T21:49:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nymysys \* > **In over your head, eh? Not enough ass for all of us to bite? Funny how quickly you boys give up when things don’t run smoothly.** Tsk, tsk, **Nymysys** , so quick to assume the worst of people. I **never** give up! I’m too damn stupid to know when’s the right time. I started this, I’ll stay with it to the end (or until it gets to 10 pages, at which point code problems begin to occur and the thread gets locked). It just dawned on me that I can only post from work, and I’m off work in about 30 minutes. That leaves all night for newbies to post here waiting for me to welcome them. I’ll get to work tomorrow only to find a backlog and while I try to catch up, more post may flow in. See? It’s a viscious cycle. BTW, for the newbies who don’t get the joke in **yojimbo** and **jesuslynch’s** posts, I am the poster formerly known as **BratMan007**. I never really liked that name and switched to this one after a couple of months. ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/47 "2000-11-06T21:56:36Z")
Crunchy ~ So I hear the favorite newbie spot is open? If I take you up on the nekkid pix, do I get the position (no sexual pun intended…well actually…) How bout if i just send you some dirty messages from time to time? Would that make you RANDY baby? 😉 (I’m not too ashamed to blatantly rip off Austin Powers…hehe…) ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/48 "2000-11-06T22:01:05Z")
**Just A Girl** and **cykrider** please don’t get into a debate about the merits/disadvantages of living in the South or Southeners in general, okay? I’d like to keep this a friendly (ok, somewhat rude on my part) thread. Besides, **Just A Girl** aren’t you supposed be getting some nekkid pix of you ready to email to me? That’s standard procedure for female newbies you know: They must all email me nekkid pix of themselves. Like it or not, those are the rules. I don’t make these things up. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/49 "2000-11-06T22:07:18Z")
**Just A Girl** - I just re-read your post and saw you’re 17. Receiving nekkid pix of a minor makes me feel kinda creepy, so we’ll skip that in your case. **Nymysys** has no excuse, however. I will however accept emails from anybody. I am an email slut. I love getting email that isn’t spam or work-related BS that usually has nothing to do with my job anyway. ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/50 "2000-11-06T22:09:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > 10,000+ members and I’m supposed to know shit about you? Guess I just have to make stuff up, since I’m not supposed to search and all. > > **Vix** is the offspring of an IRS agent and a pig farmer. \*\* Pah! Don’t use that lame 10,000+ members excuse. It’s not like they all post. And truth may be more stranger than fiction… I’m actually the daughter of a former spy who then became a reporter, then a senator’s press secretary, then a governor’s energy guru, and who now runs a state recycling program. (Guess he’s getting less exciting in his old age…) And since that’s not much of a real intro, I’ll add that I’m an editor, I just moved to Brooklyn, and I can give a backrub that’ll make your hair stand on end. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/51 "2000-11-06T22:12:26Z")
And I will further add that I’m not much of an editor, apparently. D’oh! ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/52 "2000-11-06T22:20:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Crunchy Frog \* > Hey, I’ll give you a quarter if you know where my username comes from! (Actually, if a person knows where this username comes from, they automatically make my ‘cool’ list.) Welp, if it’s not from my favourite Monty Python sketch, I don’t want to know where it’s from. Let’s see, a bit about me: I’m originally from Los Angeles, but have thankfully escaped and now I live in Phoenix (with a brief year in Detroit). For work I put together submittals for the sales staff (light fixtures and lamps), not as boring as it sounds. I like to refer to myself as the Submittal Queen. I am female, not married, but I live with my boyfriend, no kids (at least that I know about). I’ve been a SD fan since the late 80’s. Anything more you want to know, you’ll have to ask. ---
**Author:** ![RickQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/35a633/32.png) [@RickQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickQ)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/53 "2000-11-06T22:31:31Z")
Well, I’m a bank clerk in a call centre. 24, live in the UK and yes, it is always wet over here. I enjoy reading Sci Fi and watching films, going to the gym and chatting (when i get the time). Not much else to tell really. I have lurked for a while, and only posted a bit, but I am getting the hang of it (Read: “jumping in with both feet”) though I don’t know many of you that well (your dossiers are still being completed by my network of spies 😃 TTFN RickQ ---
**Author:** ![Just\_A\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@Just\_A\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Just_A_Girl)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2000, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/54 "2000-11-06T23:10:14Z")
Glad to know that you’re not a pedofile, Crunchy. Also, I apologize for posting the whole North/South debate thing, but the dude somewhat annoyed me and I wanted him to see it. If he replies I’ll take it to the BBQ pit. P.S. Hopefully the whole age thing won’t affect my chances of holding the favorite spot. I can just make carefully masked sexual inuendos that hopefully you’ll catch on to - if it helps my chances, that is. ---
**Author:** ![little\_bit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@little\_bit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/little_bit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/55 "2000-11-07T00:12:10Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Tygr \* > Give little_bit a squeeze for me. (where you squeeze her is at your discretion) **I’m still waiting for this one.** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vix \* > … and I can give a backrub that’ll make your hair stand on end. **Sweetie, if your backrubs only make his hair stand on end you’re not doing it right.** 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/56 "2000-11-07T00:31:31Z")
Maybe I should start my own welcome thread . . . I’m a guy, and as such don’t know my own measurements, but my waist is around 30 inches. I live in VA and go to [GMU](http://www.gmu.edu). I’m virtually married to **Pamlyra** , the virtual daughter of **Jim B**. ---
**Author:** ![maidenunicorn41](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@maidenunicorn41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maidenunicorn41)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/57 "2000-11-07T04:15:12Z")
Crunchy Frog, we share a name, my last name is Frogoza.so I am a member of the Frog family. I live in Texas. 41/female married one son, 18 Best friend is Purplebear. Guess that is all for now. really not much to say, since everyone pretty much welcomed me in the party thread that PB had for me. ---
**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/58 "2000-11-07T04:28:47Z")
> [@](#): > > Le Sang > AKA - French-Dude-With-The-F\*\*ked-Up-Name (FDWTFUN for short) – many thanks to Crunchy and Nymysys When I joined the SDMB, my screenname was Ai\ Yue- Ha Yes, with all the punctuation. I quickly became “New\ Guy/ with\ the/ Fucked-up\ Name” –John ---
**Author:** ![Belle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a698b9/32.png) [@Belle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belle)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/59 "2000-11-07T04:38:08Z")
I’m kind of new… Can I bite you too? ---
**Author:** ![hesredbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/9fc348/32.png) [@hesredbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hesredbird)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2000, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958/60 "2000-11-07T08:06:35Z")
I am hesredbird. I wandered in here one night while being a might confused. I took a look around and liked what I saw. I work for a large automobile manufacturer located at the home of the “Original Sitdowners”. I am interested in Colonial American history. I have been married to my bride for 29 years, have three children and three grandchildren. I grow my own sweet grass in the back yard. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crunchy-frogs-welcome-wagon-newbies-take-note/39958.md?page=4)