# Crystal Bernard

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [August 29, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123 "2005-08-29T17:20:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 15\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/1 "2005-08-29T17:20:28Z")

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In cleaning out a closet, I found a poster showing Crystal Bernard leaning up against a yellow 1995 Yamaha FZR600. There’s a Long EZ in the background. An airplane, a pretty girl, and a bike! Three of my favourite things! 🙂

I looked up Crystal Bernard on imdb. I haven’t heard of any of the things she’s done since _Wings_.

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**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/2 "2005-08-29T17:47:52Z")

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I know she did some country music here in Nashville for a bit after Wings but nothing big. I don’t know if she’s still here but I keep watching the streets so that she can meet and marry me someday.

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**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/3 "2005-08-29T17:54:39Z")

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I watched some Lifetime or Lifetime-like movie a few weeks back with my Mom that she was in where her Dad was accused of murdering her Mom. I don’t find this type of movie interesting, and this was no exception, but I did like seeing Ms. Bernard again. I find her awfully cute, even in this role that she seemed a bit too old for.

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/4 "2005-08-29T18:26:19Z")

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Her [IMDb entry](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004751/) has a string of TV movies and a couple of small movie roles.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/5 "2005-08-29T18:39:45Z")

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I used to date her sister Robyn in school while Crystal dated my fraternity brother, “Speedway”, so lots of good times together for the four of us. Their Dad is evangelist Jerry Wayne Bernard, so Crystal and Robyn grew up singing in front of a congregation and their affinity for the spotlight is understandable. A bit snobby until you’re her friend, then everything’s cool.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/6 "2005-08-29T19:24:05Z")

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Heh, I was trying to find some recent info on them and came across [this site, her Dad’s.](http://www.jerrybernard.com/JERRYBIO.htm) It’s got some early pics of Crystal… check out 1961.

And **Johnny** , her Dad’s into Harleys. Dude, you’re in.

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/7 "2005-08-29T20:34:53Z")

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> [@lieu](#):
>
> And **Johnny** , her Dad’s into Harleys. Dude, you’re in.

Not really. I’ve heard she’s a pretty devout Christian. And I’m a Yamaha guy, so her dad would probably hate me.

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**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\
**Post date:** [August 29, 2005, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/8 "2005-08-29T21:19:38Z")

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> [@lieu](#):
>
> Heh, I was trying to find some recent info on them and came across [this site, her Dad’s.](http://www.jerrybernard.com/JERRYBIO.htm) It’s got some early pics of Crystal… check out 1961.

Wow, and her sister is the pretty one. Quite a family.

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**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/9 "2005-08-30T02:12:48Z")

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I always thought that Crystal Bernard was one of the prettiest women on TV. But I hated her for marrying Joe. 😉

Hmm, this reminds me to be annoyed that _Wings_ still isn’t out on DVD…

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**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/10 "2005-08-30T02:50:46Z")

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There’s an anecdote about Crystal “Bernhard”[sic] in the superlatively trashy portmanteau memoir [You’ll Never Make Love In This Town Again](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0787104043/qid=1125370406/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-5351418-1732131?v=glance&s=books) (pp. 183-190. O.K., it’s a short chapter’s worth.) Granted, the anecdote in question is related by a former prostitute of Beverly Hills, so you might want to take what “Liza” says with a grain of salt. (Or penicillin. Whatever…)

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**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/11 "2005-08-30T04:55:52Z")

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> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> There’s an anecdote about Crystal “Bernhard”[sic] in the superlatively trashy portmanteau memoir You’ll Never Make Love In This Town Again

Please, give us the straight poop. Don’t need the entire chapter just the jist of what happened.

Marc

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/12 "2005-08-30T08:36:01Z")

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Incidentally, her Dad is a rare but growing group of Evangelists who aren’t End-Timers, but Preterists - the End Times were 70 AD & Christ now reigns over history.

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**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/13 "2005-08-30T11:11:33Z")

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> [@lieu](#):
>
> Heh, I was trying to find some recent info on them and came across [this site, her Dad’s.](http://www.jerrybernard.com/JERRYBIO.htm) It’s got some early pics of Crystal… check out 1961.
> 
> And **Johnny** , her Dad’s into Harleys. Dude, you’re in.

How do you defeat that automatic scroll? WHY would a site have an automatic scroll? Curse you, Crystal Bernard’s Dad!

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**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/14 "2005-08-30T13:09:48Z")

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> [@MGibson](#):
>
> Please, give us the straight poop. Don’t need the entire chapter just the jist of what happened.

Gee, and I was hoping to spur those of you with prurient interests to pick up the book. 😉 It boils down to this: C.B. apparently isn’t dialing a zero on the Kinsey Scale – but then, few of us do.

It’s interesting that she’s a preacher’s daughter, though, considering. Poor thing!

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [August 30, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/crystal-bernard/319123/15 "2005-08-30T16:46:14Z")

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You’re still just hinting. I’m not going to buy the book, so can you say exactly what you’re getting at?
