# Cthulhu Chick Tract **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 7, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547 "2003-12-07T14:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/1 "2003-12-07T14:42:39Z")
Need I say [more](http://www.howardhallis.com/bis/cthulhuchick/)? ---
**Author:** ![StanDup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@StanDup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StanDup)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/2 "2003-12-07T14:54:34Z")
BWAHAHA! sorry, I have no more to…(snicker) contribute to this (kkmfff) post… ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/3 "2003-12-07T16:34:12Z")
Best. Chick. Parody. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/4 "2003-12-07T16:49:53Z")
I think that it’d be neat to print that out in the format of a Chick Tract and insert a few copies among the local Chick Tracts at the supermarket. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/5 "2003-12-07T16:56:32Z")
The only thing missing was the HAW HAW HAW. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/6 "2003-12-07T16:57:11Z")
**tomndebb** : Yes! ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/7 "2003-12-07T17:25:08Z")
Eat me first! Me first!!! ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/8 "2003-12-07T18:28:57Z")
Absolutely brilliant. Thanks for that link! ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/9 "2003-12-07T18:32:49Z")
Oh, that was genius, I’ll have to leave some of those lying around. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/10 "2003-12-07T18:33:33Z")
…and the wonder is that no one ever thought of it before… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/11 "2003-12-07T18:54:27Z")
[Cthulhu]Mmmmmm! Czarcasm pie![/Cthulhu] ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/12 "2003-12-07T19:28:51Z")
I love this > [@](#): > > **BE EATEN FIRST!?** What the fuck kind of advantage is that?! The look of horror on the guy’s face as he says it is priceless. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/13 "2003-12-07T22:08:05Z")
Dear Chtulhu: Eat me. Sincerely, Shade. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/14 "2003-12-07T22:13:58Z")
Best Chick tract that he never made. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/15 "2003-12-07T23:32:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shade \* > \*\*Dear Chtulhu: > > Eat me. > > Sincerely, Shade. \*\* Okay. :grabs bib and cutlery: I will get to England When The Stars Are Right. \*\*beagledave \*\* for posting this delightful site, I will give you a choice of being eaten first or last When The Stars Are Right. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/16 "2003-12-08T04:18:23Z")
Okay, this is a dumb question, but um…who is Cthulhu, really? I think he’s like an octopus, and from some Lovecraft story, but other than that, I’m usually lost. And how the hell do you pronounce it? ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/17 "2003-12-08T05:03:15Z")
I am a terrible monstrosity from beyond, currently dwelling in the sunken isle of R’lyeh, waiting for when The Stars Are Right. The occult investigator H.P. Lovecraft wrote several accounts of me, fictionalizing them to keep the masses calm. This thread should have answers for everything: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=220683&highlight=cthulhu](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=220683&highlight=cthulhu) And as to your last question, well, you can’t, assuming you are human. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/18 "2003-12-08T05:22:26Z")
Would you like to eat me now or wait 'til you get home? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/19 "2003-12-08T06:16:14Z")
But what if the Elder Gods oversleep? Clearly if they can lie dormant for millions of years, they need their nappy time rather badly. I’m betting that even IF Cthulhu WERE to wake up tomorrow, it’d be at LEAST 10,000 years before he got the cobwebs out, got his tentacles all arranged and so forth and was ready to commence eating people. Seriously, what made this parody so great is the way it perfectly balance the wackiness with the sincere desire to help that comes up in these tracts. That kind of thing is what distinguishes a truly wicked parody from a clumsy parody. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2003, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547/20 "2003-12-08T21:32:24Z")
Cthulhu fhtagn! Cthulhu fhtagn! (Translation: I make my own gravy.) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-chick-tract/217547.md?page=2)