# Cthulhu doesn't scare me **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741 "2011-08-23T02:55:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/21 "2011-08-23T14:31:39Z")
But life is already like that. Defeat is inevitable, destruction is inevitable. And madness takes its toll. The thing is, we also understand madness a lot better than we used to. And we can work with it. I’m minded of a story by William Tenn about a peaceful race of aliens that come to Earth. Thing is, our best brains go out to meet them and, very shortly, go insane and also develop superhuman powers. It’s sort of a parable on how Europeans destroyed Native American society. Thing is, in the end, a businessman is able to deal with these aliens, not by understanding them, but by not caring about understanding them and just trading, back and forth. The trades are incomprehensible, but they are a standard from which more things can grow. There are ways to comprehend the incomprehensible. Abstraction, modeling, willful ignorance and so on. If an atom bomb won’t affect something, then something else will. At the very least, it _has_ an interface with our reality, and we can affect that interface. In theory. ---
**Author:** ![chrisk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@chrisk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chrisk)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/22 "2011-08-23T14:33:05Z")
Is the insanity effect of Cthulhu supposed to be effectively magic? If so, then yeah, that’s at least medium-scary. And on a different note, I’m sitting less than a mile from the Fairview street Walmart in Burlington. If I heard there was anything Cthulhu like over there, yeah, I’d be doing what I could to make tracks away, and hoping that he didn’t head in the direction of my office or my home. Hi, Rick! I don’t think I realized that there was such an active, prolific, and wise Doper so close nearby. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/23 "2011-08-23T14:35:14Z")
Well, Cthulhu did [save the world](http://store.steampowered.com/app/107310/) with the help of his groupie friends, so he can’t be THAT scary. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/24 "2011-08-23T14:40:04Z")
> [@Gray\_Ghost](#): > > Personally, I think aliens, should they exist, (and eldritch horrors too) are going to more resemble the Strugatsky’s [Roadside Picnic](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roadside_Picnic): completely indifferent to humanity, and probably near totally incomprehensible as well. Thanks for that - I’ve downloaded the PDF. It should be good reading. 🙂 It sounds like ScyFy’s “The Lost Room”, which I liked a great deal. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/25 "2011-08-23T15:00:22Z")
> [@chrisk](#): > > I’m sitting less than a mile from the Fairview street Walmart in Burlington. If I heard there was anything Cthulhu like over there, yeah, I’d be doing what I could to make tracks away, and hoping that he didn’t head in the direction of my office or my home. I’ll just befriend REH’s Conan. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/26 "2011-08-23T15:18:32Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > Well, to be fair, they did, canonically, defeat Cthulhu (note defeat, not “kill off forever”) by ramming him with a boat. So he’s like a giant eldritch rubber shark. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/27 "2011-08-23T15:25:11Z")
Meh, not scary, as long as I retain the power of mint and berries with a tasty–yet satisfying–crunch. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/28 "2011-08-23T15:28:20Z")
No doubt, the OP also feels he can take [Yahweh](http://biblewalk.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/god-the-father.jpg). “C’mon, he’s just an old guy with a beard.” Don’t confuse the aspect with the whole. (Thanks to this thread, I came across this [picture](http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm286/lkp7488/Yahweh/devil_vs_yahweh_by_ongchewpeng2.jpg) while searching for the above image.) ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/29 "2011-08-23T15:59:35Z")
You fear not Dread Cthuhlu? Excellent! Lovecraft’s ploy is working. You see, once he realized the terrible Elder Beings existyed, he devoted his life to preparing humanity against the day they might return. Absent the ability to defend humanity, he opted instead to immunize us. We may not eb fully protected, yet within a mere handful of generations no mortal shall look at the Elder Horrors with anything other than a mild disgust. Yes, we shall soon be safe from their madness. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/30 "2011-08-23T16:16:29Z")
The next step in the over exposure plan wil be the debut of the “Cthulhu Kids” cartoon show on Disney in Fal 2012. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/31 "2011-08-23T16:19:06Z")
Cartoon, because the live action version (Hanna somethingorother) premiered a few years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/32 "2011-08-23T16:32:51Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Simply by being conscious, he drives people around the globe insane. Long before you’re consumed by dread Cthulhu, you’re most likely to be sacrificed on a profane altar by his deranged and often subhuman cultists - assuming you haven’t become one of those cultists (subhuman or otherwise) yourself. > > [snip] > > Anyway, the point is that he’s not just a Toho rubber suit monster. His very existence warps reality around him, and long before he assumes his throne amongst the bones of this world, most of us will be long since dead in an unending series of cataclysms both physical and psychic. This. Cthulhu isn’t a monster, really - he’s a natural disaster, an extinction-level event. He’s frightening for the same reason a gamma-ray burst would be frightening - entirely unpredictable, no defense is possible, and death will be slow and painful. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/33 "2011-08-23T16:39:06Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > (Thanks to this thread, I came across this [picture](http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm286/lkp7488/Yahweh/devil_vs_yahweh_by_ongchewpeng2.jpg) while searching for the above image.) Satan needs a good dental plan for his Infernal Minions. ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_A.Robrin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sam_a.robrin/32/14497_2.png) [@Sam\_A.Robrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_A.Robrin)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/34 "2011-08-23T17:18:50Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > The next step in the over exposure plan wil be the debut of the “Cthulhu Kids” cartoon show on Disney in Fal 2012. Marge and John Stanley beat them to it with their _Little Cthulhu_ comic… ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/35 "2011-08-23T17:28:23Z")
> [@Sam\_A.Robrin](#): > > Marge and John Stanley beat them to it with their _Little Cthulhu_ comic… Might well be, but I’m envisioning total Disney image status overkill. Cthulhu backpacks, Yog-Sothoth tee-shirts, Night Gaunt shaped breakfast cereals, the whole nine yards. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/36 "2011-08-23T18:24:01Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Do you have a link? Unfortunately, it looks like you have to purchase books of his letters, there doesn’t seem to be any online repository. I got a few quoted to me once, the one is question involved the two talking about what black people (with… more derogatory names) would taste like, and how they should try to lynch and eat them. There may have been a bit of simple black humor in there instead of COMPLETE malice, but it was hard to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/37 "2011-08-23T19:00:23Z")
Seems to me like Cthulhu is just a Mary Sue type villain. “I have a great idea for a bad guy. It automatically wins. Brilliant!” Why does its presence drive people insane? “Just does.” _Lame_. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/38 "2011-08-23T19:26:08Z")
> [@Jragon](#): > > As far as I’m concerned, even if it’s EXPENSIVE, if one or two governments founded something similar to the Special Containment Protocol Foundation, with 24 hour dedication and some money we could stun lock the bastard indefinitely. [Already have it.](http://missiledefense.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/pentagon.jpg) Though we dodged a bullet on 9/11/01 that the plane did not entirely breach the walls and free Yog Sothoth, which was Bin Laden’s plan. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/39 "2011-08-23T19:32:58Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > (Thanks to this thread, I came across this [picture](http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm286/lkp7488/Yahweh/devil_vs_yahweh_by_ongchewpeng2.jpg) while searching for the above image.) Satan will win this one. Jesus has bad hands. > [@Miller](#): > > Simply by being conscious, he drives people around the globe insane. Long before you’re consumed by dread Cthulhu, you’re most likely to be sacrificed on a profane altar by his deranged and often subhuman cultists - assuming you haven’t become one of those cultists (subhuman or otherwise) yourself. You misspelled Obama. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/40 "2011-08-23T19:48:54Z")
He - it - doesn’t scare me, either!: [http://www.amazon.com/Toy-Vault-12-Cthulhu-Plush/dp/B0006IEX7C](http://www.amazon.com/Toy-Vault-12-Cthulhu-Plush/dp/B0006IEX7C) Seriously, though, here’s my favorite Cthulhu pic: [http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzDoleXWrf8/TWU3mz99jbI/AAAAAAAAASA/S0de81-TFfc/s1600/cthulhu-rlyeh-rising.jpg](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzDoleXWrf8/TWU3mz99jbI/AAAAAAAAASA/S0de81-TFfc/s1600/cthulhu-rlyeh-rising.jpg) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741.md?page=3)