# Cthulhu doesn't scare me **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 23, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741 "2011-08-23T02:55:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/41 "2011-08-23T19:58:54Z")
While I am no Cthulu expert, I did read it and some of the authors other works about 12 years ago. IIRC, one aspect of what is supposed to be so scary about Cthulu is that he IS. JUST. THAT. DAMN. SCARY. Doesnt the author go to great lengths about telling us just how scary Cthulu is? Without really explaining why? Its kind of like Picard and the Borg. Picard ain’t scared of nutin. Mention the Borg and he about shits his pants. Same sorta thing goes for Dr Who. Danger is fun for the Doctor. But even one Darlek shows up and the Doctor has brown underwear post haste. The Voyager Series had Species 679? Stargate had the replicators. ISTM that Cthulu was an early model of that kind of bad guy/ evil. The details of why and how they were scary as shit was just icing on the cake when it came to the story telling. They were scary as shit because they were basically the definition of scary as shit. Maybe I am misremembering the whole Cthulu thing. Or, maybe that sort of suspension of disbelief/lack of a reason why doesnt work for some readers. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/42 "2011-08-23T19:59:22Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Contrawise, most of us live in conditions that would drive a man from 1900 insane already. (I love my city, but the social pressures are bizarre. And that doesn’t even mention hurtling about like a madman on the roads.) We grasp concepts… even if partially, that hold inherent contradictions, and have some shadow of the true understanding of the universe. (Relativity, quantum mechanics.) > > Perhaps we would go insane. But we understand, to some degree, insanity now. We can use it. Yes. That’s how it starts. Mwahahahaha! ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/43 "2011-08-23T19:59:32Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > Seems to me like Cthulhu is just a Mary Sue type villain. “I have a great idea for a bad guy. It automatically wins. Brilliant!” Why does its presence drive people insane? “Just does.” _Lame_. That’s a bit unfair to Lovecraft. First, Cthulhu isn’t really a bad guy in the classic sense. As someone already said earlier, he’s more a force of nature than a slobbering monster that wants to eat us because he’s evil. Cthulhu only wakes up in one Lovecraft story, and while he’s mentioned in a few other stories, he’s not taking an active role in the world. He represents a future apocalypse, “when the stars are right” he’ll wake up which will spell doom for humanity. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/44 "2011-08-23T20:04:44Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > …The Voyager Series had Species 679?.. Aw, what are 7793 species between friends?: [Species 8472 | Memory Alpha | Fandom](http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Species_8472) ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/45 "2011-08-23T20:12:03Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Seriously, though, here’s my favorite Cthulhu pic: [http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzDoleXWrf8/TWU3mz99jbI/AAAAAAAAASA/S0de81-TFfc/s1600/cthulhu-rlyeh-rising.jpg](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-zzDoleXWrf8/TWU3mz99jbI/AAAAAAAAASA/S0de81-TFfc/s1600/cthulhu-rlyeh-rising.jpg) Call me a wuss if you will, but that’s actually a sort of scary illustration ;). Dunno if it would drive me ( more ) insane, but I think if I were in that boat I’d definitely poo my pants. ---
**Author:** ![Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Swords\_to\_Plowshares](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swords_to_Plowshares)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/46 "2011-08-23T20:17:28Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Satan will win this one. Jesus has bad hands. While that may be so, arm wrestling is about forearm and wrist strength, which I bet as a carpenter he has plenty of. Some of my friends and I frequently debate about which American football positions historical figures would play. We figure Jesus wouldn’t quite have the hands to be a wide receiver, but he would probably be good enough to play cornerback. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/47 "2011-08-23T20:17:42Z")
> [@Tamerlane](#): > > Call me a wuss if you will, but that’s actually a sort of scary illustration ;). Dunno if it would drive me ( more ) insane, but I think if I were in that boat I’d definitely poo my pants. I always figured that wanker would have a ocean going McMansion 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/48 "2011-08-23T20:18:17Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Might well be, but I’m envisioning total Disney image status overkill. Cthulhu backpacks, Yog-Sothoth tee-shirts, Night Gaunt shaped breakfast cereals, the whole nine yards. I am not appearing on no damn t-shirt! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/49 "2011-08-23T20:22:00Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I am not appearing on no damn t-shirt! [Too late.](http://images4.cpcache.com/product/142473754v1_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/50 "2011-08-23T21:15:29Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Simply by being conscious, he drives people around the globe insane. Long before you’re consumed by dread Cthulhu, you’re most likely to be sacrificed on a profane altar by his deranged and often subhuman cultists - assuming you haven’t become one of those cultists (subhuman or otherwise) yourself. OOO! Church Picnic! ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/51 "2011-08-23T21:25:30Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > The next step in the over exposure plan wil be the debut of the “Cthulhu Kids” cartoon show on Disney in Fal 2012. [Here ya go.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOHJUrcVdJk) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/52 "2011-08-23T21:47:34Z")
Oooooh! that was too cute for words! Uh-oh. I may be entering the Grandpa Zone. Daughters were babysitting a friend’s infant. I didn’t go near it. Wish they hadn’t either because the damned things are contagious. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/53 "2011-08-23T22:04:50Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > Might well be, but I’m envisioning total Disney image status overkill. Cthulhu backpacks, Yog-Sothoth tee-shirts, Night Gaunt shaped breakfast cereals, the whole nine yards. Hastur Flakes: For a breakfast that’s unspeakably good! ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/54 "2011-08-23T22:13:57Z")
> [@Infovore](#): > > [Here ya go.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOHJUrcVdJk) 🙂 AHHHHHHHHHH! (In a good way.) For the record, I love Cthulhu. He’s _tentacular_. He hangs out with Buddha on my bookcase (riding a giant stegosaurus.) He makes me so happy, my husband says my betrayal will be the downfall of civilization. But is it really betrayal if I’m upfront about my loyalties to begin with? ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/55 "2011-08-23T23:02:28Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Too late.](http://images4.cpcache.com/product/142473754v1_480x480_Front_Color-Black.jpg) Fool! That is Shub-Niggurath! Do you see any globes on that? Do you?! No! Somebody has mistaken a picture of Shub on vacation for me! Somebody going to get thrown into the dark gulfs between the stars for a few vigintillion or so years :mad: I know we are both eldritch abominations, but whoever thought Shub and I looked the same is racist! We’re totally different. Shub has tentacles and mouths while I am a collection of globes. I don’t need mouths to eat, Yog Sothoth is the key and the gate. Food appears \*in me \*when I want it ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/56 "2011-08-23T23:19:40Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > I am not appearing on no damn t-shirt! I feel I must point out that the “fair use” doctrine allows the limited use of artistic, factual, or academic material for personal use. I hereby notify you that your personal likeness will adorn my next speedo. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/57 "2011-08-23T23:29:15Z")
What about his buddy, Strange Ian? ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2011, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/58 "2011-08-23T23:52:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Satan needs a good **dental plan** for his Infernal Minions. (bolding mine) Damien needs braces! ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/59 "2011-08-24T00:22:34Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I hereby notify you that your personal likeness will adorn my next speedo. That’s what you get for demanding to be a collection of globes **YogSosoth**. Is 2 a collection? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 24, 2011, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741/60 "2011-08-24T00:29:36Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I feel I must point out that the “fair use” doctrine allows the limited use of artistic, factual, or academic material for personal use. > > I hereby notify you that your personal likeness will adorn my next speedo. Well, you’ve certainly nailed down the “mind bending terror” part of the Cthulhu mythos. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-doesnt-scare-me/593741.md?page=4)