# Cthulhu for President! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 27, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740 "2004-08-27T04:13:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/21 "2004-08-28T02:09:34Z")
> [@RandomLetters](#): > > I am not sure, but I bet human sacrifice is involved. > > BTW, didn’t the Great and Dreaded Cthulhu used to post on this message board? He ate too many puppies and got banned. ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/22 "2004-08-28T02:36:13Z")
I fear the mods may feel His wrath, then. ---
**Author:** ![absoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@absoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/absoul)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/23 "2004-08-28T02:41:22Z")
I’ve been sportin’ my [Cthulhu For President 2004](http://www.chaosium.com/catalog/product_info.php?cPath=33&products_id=356&osCsid=1ad0613664662a64ab3a8a54298e4d94) t-shirt for about 3 weeks now. (not everyday, and yes I have washed it) Chicks don’t seem to dig it though… maybe I need to switch to pink polo shirt or whatnot. I’ll give it another try tonight. You here me Cthulhu this is your last chance to help hook me up! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/24 "2004-08-28T02:47:58Z")
It would be in His best interest to help you. Then He may eat your firstborn. Remember, Dread Lord Cthulhu forbids all use of birth control. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/25 "2004-08-28T03:33:12Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Probably you first have to meet this basic qualification: You are not driven mad by the mere sight of Lord Cthulhu. _I’m IN!_ ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/26 "2004-08-28T03:44:49Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > Probably you first have to meet this basic qualification: You are not driven mad by the mere sight of Lord Cthulhu. Have you _ **seen** _ some of my exes?! :eek: Cthulhu would be a cakewalk… ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/27 "2004-08-28T03:57:48Z")
> [@jayjay](#): > > Have you _ **seen** _ some of my exes?! :eek: > > Cthulhu would be a cakewalk… If you were to offer them up as collateral, Cthulhu may favor your candidacy. Your mental fortitude in His presence, as well as your willingness to make certain, shall we say human, sacrifices, would amply demonstrate your suitability. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2004, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/28 "2004-08-28T07:17:52Z")
> [@rjung](#): > > We’ve already got one [prominent joke candidate](http://www.spectrumz.com/z/gi_joke.html) in the race; everyone else pales by comparison. 😉 OK, let’s narrow this down as I’m sure the number will be less than 10. Are there any threads you view that you can resist slamming Bush? :smack: I already know the answer. :rolleyes: :wally ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/29 "2004-08-29T01:09:06Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > OK, let’s narrow this down as I’m sure the number will be less than 10. Are there any threads you view that you can resist slamming Bush? I’m sure you can dig up several dozen in Cafe Society and General Questions. (Geez, political jokes in a political joke thread – what were you expecting, recipes for carrot cake?) ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/30 "2004-08-29T01:24:32Z")
You have a two party system! If you don’t vote for Cthulhu you’re wasting your vote! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/31 "2004-08-29T01:42:09Z")
You are wise. You will be eaten in the presence of the naked celebrity of your choice. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/32 "2004-08-29T04:40:05Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > I think the native-born citizen requirement only applies to persons who are born or obtain citizenship after the ratification of the Constitution. Wasn’t Cthulhu resident in upstate New York in 1789? Oh, great. Another \*\*Great Creature Of Unspeakable Evil \*\* running for public office from New York! 😃 (Why should **rjung** get to make all the political jokes?) ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/33 "2004-08-29T04:57:07Z")
What? Another of the Old One’s dares vie with Lord Cthulhu for command? Who is this blasphemer? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/34 "2004-08-29T05:11:23Z")
The challenger is even uglier and more hideous than the Great Lord Cthulhu… [http://www.lifeisajoke.com/pictures4\_html.htm](http://www.lifeisajoke.com/pictures4_html.htm) The horror, the horror… ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/35 "2004-08-29T05:14:21Z")
She must die! Lord Cthulhu claims all of the newborn for Himself. ---
**Author:** ![Aldebaran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Aldebaran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aldebaran)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/36 "2004-08-29T15:05:04Z")
I can only say that it looks to me as if my presence on this board has the intended results : 1. Indoctrinating your minds with the Ultimate Truth. 2. Preparing your minds to accept your Final Destination, a mercyless defeat by means of The Inevitable Second Coming. 3. Provoking you to give me a Sign when you are ready to accept the Ultimate Ruling of The One that Can Not Be Named. I already gave the residents and visitors of this Cyberspace a Real Insight in my Real and True Identity. This during a rare visit of Complete Insanity in my Red Burning Cave. Now I feel compelled to lead you further on the Path Towards Total Destruction. Further details follow at the right time and right place. **Warning to those who dare to quote My Writings** Your translations are false and completely wrong. To find the True and Original meaning, search on the SDMB for my revelation about this, written while suffering from the said rare visit of Complete Insanity. Aldebaran The Mad Arab. Author of The Adipocere, falsely named The Necronicom after one of its irrelevant footnotes. This was done intentionally to cause the following Great Confusion. Yet my moment of revenge finally arrives. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/37 "2004-08-29T15:15:28Z")
> [@Aldebaran](#): > > Aldebaran > The Mad Arab. Author of The Adipocere I thought I read somewhere that you preferred to be called The “I Just Get These Headaches” Arab. And didn’t you also write the “Book of Humorous Cat Stories”? Or was that someone else? 😃 Go Cthulhu. Anybody But Bush!! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/38 "2004-08-29T15:19:23Z")
_La mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqqa sarmadi Fa idha yaji’ al-shudhdhadh fa-l-maut qad yantahi._ I see the stars are aligning…we await signs… ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/39 "2004-08-29T15:43:07Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > _La mayyitan ma qadirun yatabaqqa sarmadi > Fa idha yaji’ al-shudhdhadh fa-l-maut qad yantahi._ > > I see the stars are aligning…we await signs… Sinómë eanye, nyéra (Here I am, mourning) Tiruvanyë Andúnë. (I shall watch the West) ya ná Andúnë pella, (that is beyond the West,) Cúmanna, (into the Void,) ar loruvanyë cúmo. (and dream of oblivion ) Oops! Wrong mythos. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740/40 "2004-08-29T15:50:29Z")
Don’t blame me, _I_ voted for Shub-Niggurath. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulhu-for-president/261740.md?page=3)