# Cthulu Folks, Balloon Folks, Spatially-Minded Folks, Advice Please **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 1, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520 "2005-09-01T00:53:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/1 "2005-09-01T00:53:01Z")
I’m going to be performing as a priest of Cthulu and giving away balloon animals. I could use the advice of those Mythos fans who are more knowledgable than I. I could use the advice of other folks with making Nyarlhotep and such out of balloons. I’ve been on the path to becoming a professional clown for the past few months. My costume is almost finished. The Fringe Festival starts on September second. Street performers are encouraged to perform around the sites of official FF shows. A clown in an odd tailcoat and tophat would be acceptable. A mad cultist of ancient and indescribable gods making balloon animals fits the festival much better. I have the robes and pamphlets from a Halloween costume. I have a Cthulu helmet, but given the heat and other factors I’ll mount that on top of a staff as a symbol of faith rather than wearing it. I _have_ studied the Cthulu Mythos and the art of balloon twisting. But, I want to be prepared when those geekier than I mention some obscure monster or spell. While some of the Mythos creatures are simple to make, or can be made by slightly modifiying a standard balloon animal, others will be very difficult. So, I need the help of other Mythos fans to further instruct and prepare me (I already have some answers for those creatures which are impossible to make with balloons “I could indeed make you a shoggoth. But, rather than deflating, it would grow. Very soon it would devour you.”) and I need the help of other folks to figure out how to make some of the other creatures. Oh, I absolutely do NOT want to hand out copies of the “Get Eaten First” tracts. I thank you for your help. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/2 "2005-09-01T01:22:59Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > Oh, I absolutely do NOT want to hand out copies of the “Get Eaten First” tracts. Aw, you’re no fun. :mad: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/3 "2005-09-01T01:52:26Z")
I’m no fun? Am I or am I not planning on standing in the street preaching the gospel of Cthulu and handing out balloons? Besides, as I said [I already have my own tract.](http://f1.pg.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/docvhf/lst?.dir=/Cthulu&.view=l) Printed out properly, leaf1 and leaf2 give you a six page pamphlet. from left to right leaf1-page 3, page 6, page 1 leaf2- page 2, page 4, page 5 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/4 "2005-09-01T03:54:48Z")
Well, if your link worked, maybe I could tell. ---
**Author:** ![jawdirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@jawdirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jawdirk)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/5 "2005-09-01T06:27:35Z")
I just read Dream-quest of Unknown Kadath: Moon-beast: toadlike lunar blasphomy (toad with small pink tentacles on snout) Gug: Big multi-armed thing with barrel-shaped head and a vertical mouth. Night-gaunt: Winged, horned, tickling demon. From others: Elder Thing: Cigar shaped, 5 wings and 5 tentacles. Conical entinty: like it sounds, pretty much just cone-shaped. Most of the others I remember are shapeless. If they ask for a hound of Tindelos (sp?) make them a right triangle. If they ask for something you don’t know, make them a cat instead. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/6 "2005-09-01T06:58:51Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > I’m going to be performing as a priest of Cthulu and giving away balloon animals. Is this a dream job, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/7 "2005-09-01T13:14:12Z")
_Cthulhu_. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/8 "2005-09-01T14:33:46Z")
**Doc** – I’ll probably be wandering around for at least part of this – where are you planning to be hanging out? ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/9 "2005-09-01T16:40:26Z")
Do you have squamous balloons? 'Cause that would really be key. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/10 "2005-09-01T17:55:33Z")
**Podkayne** Sadly, no. **Twickster** I don’t know yet. **Merijeek** No alphabet devised by humans can truly spell his name properly. **Jawdirk** I know what the creatures look like. The illustrations in the core book of the Call Of Cthulhu RPG are very thorough. But, this is very little help in discovering the best way to make them from balloons. **Guinastasia** On further investigation, even if it did work people would require a Yahoo ID to view it. I’ll try photobucket or another image host and post a new link. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/11 "2005-09-01T18:03:50Z")
…psst. Balloon straight jackets. Best thing to do! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/12 "2005-09-01T18:08:48Z")
> [@Podkayne](#): > > Do you have squamous balloons? > > 'Cause that would really be key. Gibbous and cyclopean balloons would be good to have as well. I had a bag of non-Euclidean balloons, but sadly I dropped them, they rolled uphill, and somehow keep showing up behind me. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/13 "2005-09-01T18:15:39Z")
> [@Merijeek](#): > > …psst. > > Balloon straight jackets. Best thing to do! > > -Joe Um, would that be strait-jackets _for_ balloons, or strait-jackets _made out of_ balloons? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/14 "2005-09-01T18:43:53Z")
Another attempted link [![](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a151/doccathode/4066409e.jpg) ](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a151/doccathode/4066409e.jpg) [![](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a151/doccathode/58d60523.jpg) ](http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a151/doccathode/58d60523.jpg) Remember, the two images were designed to be printed out on a single sheet of paper and folded into a six page pamphlet leaf1-page 3, page 6, page 1 leaf2- page 2, page 4, page 5 ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/15 "2005-09-01T19:29:07Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Um, would that be strait-jackets _for_ balloons, or strait-jackets _made out of_ balloons? Umm…B, Alex. However, A would also be kind of cool. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/16 "2005-09-01T20:43:00Z")
During Halloween, we used to have a box with to holes: one to candy, the other to a jelly plastic figure that we put glycerine on. Guaranteed to get them screaming. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/17 "2005-09-01T21:12:31Z")
So, where did this idea come from? Planning on hanging out where Chick tracts are usually found? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/18 "2005-09-01T21:17:31Z")
[The Philadelphia Fringe Festival](http://www.livearts-fringe.org/2005/templates/home.cfm). ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2005, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/19 "2005-09-02T21:26:50Z")
Progress. As I slept last night I swam down to vast sunken cities. I explored strange avenues lined with phosphorescent gardens of leprous coral. Figures, horrible and alien in aspect yet warm and welcoming swam out to join me. “You must speak as though you are from a great city of our kind.” “Like ah, Bawston?” “Nah. Like Joisey. Youse try a New England accent in Philly, they’ll just laugh at ya.” “What do I do if somebody makes a reference I don’t get?” “What would a regualar street preacher do?” “So - I should say I’m hear to bring word to the heathen, not to debate fine points of theology with the initiated?” “Bingo. And you should dress and act to bring out yer fine hybrid features. Who knows, maybe you’ll meet a nice Dagonish girl. Youse ain’t gettin any younger.” “Uncle Woohhereawwg, can we not have that discussion now? I’ve decided to preach near the box office- should be a steady stream of heathens. A friend is helping print out the pamphlets. Yeah, the Incan. Hopefully, she can fix the last page.” “What’s wrong wit the last page?” “I don’t think people will find the images of people being washed away in floods very funny at the moment. Which is another thing, if it comes up I’ll stress that we had nothing to do with Katrina. Our Lord Who Dreams had many followers in that area. If any of Them was behind it, it was Ithaqua.” I’ve found the vestments. I’ve got a fine Y’hanethliean chalice to use for the collection. I think I can really do this. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2005, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520/20 "2005-09-04T14:24:16Z")
Things did not go well yesterday. Over ninety percent of passing pedestrians had never heard of Cthulhu. As a result, they assumed I was an actual insane street preacher. Any city dweller knows that you do not give such people money, you do not engage them in conversation, you do not stand within twenty feet of them. Worse, parents also believed I was an insane preacher. They would not allow me to give their children balloon animals, even when I offered them for free. So, I had to do something different. I considered wearing my regular clowning outfit. That would certainly get me an audience, and more money, but what about my artistic integrity? What about my vision? Today, I will bring with my folding shopping cart. On top of the cart, with a ouija board as a floor and a red handkerchief/scarf/whatever it is as curtains, shall be a stage. Upon that stage, I shall enact stories from the Cthulhu Mythos. Standing in for the actors shall be an assortment of toys. I hope that seeing the role of captain Obed Marsh portrayed by a figurine of Cap’n Crunch will convince people that I am just an entertainer putting on a show. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cthulu-folks-balloon-folks-spatially-minded-folks-advice-please/319520.md?page=2)