Of the many WWTBAM contestants, I was was most amazed that one guy (I think he was 21)who didn’t know that Gavin MacLeod was captain of the Love Boat.
But I guess that just makes me feel old, as opposed to making him an idiot.
“Don’t look at me–I’m irrelevant.”
That is odd. An attractive Cornell alum?
Marge: Your father is… resting.
Bart: “Resting” hung over? “Resting” got fired? Help me out here.
No one’s mentioned Jay Leno’s interviews with the Morons on the Street. It literally almost made me cry, so I don’t watch it anymore.
The stalest old chestnut, the pseudo-UL that is absolutely true…
I was working the Ref desk and a lady walks up and asks for a picture of the Crucifixtion. So the usual follow-up questions (the ref interview) followed: artist? period? etc. etc.
No…she wanted a picture, i.e. a photograph. A moment of pure gogglement followed, a few deep breaths and then an very tactful explanation of relative time lines for Biblical history and the development of photography.
BTW, for those who doubt, the questioner was dead serious. Of course I babbled and compounded the fracture: “Steiglitz. Uh, Matthew Brady!” “Who?”
No, we are not doomed. Are we not hanging out here, fighting ignorance?
Checking pocket for white flag,
Veb
I often find it sad that so few people nowadays know who Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy are. I hope the web page I made helps fight that chunk of ignorance, but it still upsets me.
As an executive board member of the Binghamton Speech and Debate team, the crowd I’m often with tends to consist of people whose favorite pasttime requires them to keep up with the news, so I don’t get many of these stories day to day. The closest thing I have to contribute here (aside from the Charlie McCarthy thing) is about a student in a class I have; we were assigned to read A Modest Proposal and this student took it at face value.
Mayor of Snerdville, the home of Mortimer Snerd
“I’m just too much for human existence – I should be animated.”
–Wayne Knight
I have this one friend that I believe was raised in a box. I once mentioned “The Twilight Zone”, and she gave me a blank stare, swearing she had no idea what I was talking about.
Also, she had never seen “Star Wars”, until I sat her down to watch all three of the movies. She was surprised to learn that Darth Vadar was Luke’s father.
I beat my head on a wall for that one…
My son, 11,just kills me.He and I have a running disagreement over whether Micheal Jackson is black of white.My son swears he’s white and no matter what evidence I offer, he refuses to even entertain the notion thet Mike is anything but caucasion.
I have even gone so far as to get on the internet and look up the Jackson Five and try to show him.
He just wont be swayed.
Yikes! I meant ‘Vader’.
This is truly frightening…or liberating. There used to be lame jokes I never got called “Tom Swifties”; so is there now room for “Jonathan Swifties”: scathing, erudite humor that scalds and illuminates?
Nah. We’ll probably limp along with the McLaughlin Group.
Yawning,
Veb
My sister, an intelligent woman who has just in the last year finally completed her bachelor’s degree and is working on her master’s (this would be my older sister, you understand (she lurks here only on invitation, so I think I’m safe!) and I were discussing the movie “Hamlet” some years ago, the one with Mel Gibson.
I made some reference to Hamlet dying at the end, and she yelled at me for giving away the ending . . . .
-Melin
Whoever mentioned the emmy award winners that Jay Leno finds on the street for his JayWalking segment, I totally agree. I got so annoyed at how stupid these people were that I can’t watch it. It upsets me.
“The idea of a walk-in closet sounds frightening. If I’m ever sittin’ at home and a closet walks in, I’m gettin’ outta there.” ~George Carlin
There are only a few I can think of.
The first is when I was a sophomore in college. I was talking to some friends in my English class about how my 6th grader cousin had to do a paper about euthanasia. Someone chimed in, asking what she was going to write about, specifically, since asia is a big place and youth there would undoubtedly be very diverse from country to country. She got many flat stares and said “What?” several times.
Another is when some buddies of mine and I were watching Animal House and getting liquored up at our fraternity house. Everyone but one guy laughed when John Belushi asks “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?”
He says, very sternly “Why is that so funny? You guys are fucked up. Lot’s of people died when the germans bombed Pearl Harbor.”
S-I-L-E-N-C-E.
Then…the inevitable.
He never came back to our house, I think he even dropped out of school.
Then another time much later, whilst at a bar, my brother’s date comes over to ask if she can buy me a beer while she’s up. I respond “Does the pope wear a funny hat?”
She looks at me blankly…
“So do you want one or not?”
Some people kids, man, I tell ya…
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
I just can’t believe it… I thought there were only ignoramuses in Indiana! I’m sooo happy that it seems to be an almost nation-wide problem.
One little thing before I get to my two cents worth: Coldfire, you do have a point about the stereotypical American. In all honesty, the American education system is a wreck compared to most all European countries as well as several developed Eastern countries (eg. Japan). And, if it makes you feel any better, as a future educator, I plan on doing my best to quell the rampant ignorance in America, bad spelling not included! (I will accept donations to help)
#1.) When I was about 10 or 11 years old, I wanted to get change from a register at a local discount store. But, unfortunately she had to wait to have the drawer open for a transaction before she could break my bill. So, I waited, for there was a gentleman in line waiting to pay. The guy pays with a check, to which the cashier examines carefully. She then proceeds to ask the cashier in the next aisle over where Iowa is. (The store only accepted checks from with in a 50 mile radius…and Iowa isn’t within 50 miles of anywhere in Indiana)
#2.)My high school class had several typical jocks. Great athletes, but about as ‘sharp as a marble’ to quote another post. One guy in particular had no idea what so ever that Vietnam was actually a country in Southeast Asia. To him, it was only a war.
#3.) I am currently in a world geography class, which is a 300 level class here at the U. of Southern Indiana. One day a few weeks ago, the prof tells us of a question he asked to a previous year’s class. He said that 40% of the class missed the question “What country is the Panama Canal located in?”
#4.) Same geography class, different question posed to that same previous class. He asked one student to name ONE European country. The student couldn’t answer.
#5.)I was explaining my shock of the above ignorance to a co-worker of mine. I then proceeded to ask her to name me ONE European country. She couldn’t either. (I had to dig my foot out of my mouth on that one for during my explanation I said something to the effect of "If you can’t name at least one country in Europe, there is something really wrong with you.)
I’m sure I’ll have many more in the future!!
“If we submit everything to reason, our religion will have no mysterious or supernatural element. If we offend the principles of reason, our religion will be absurd and ridiculous.” Blaise Pascal
I mentioned this once before in another thread but I have a friend who has no grasp of geography. I fully expect to see her on Leno one of these days. Once when my mom was complaining about the high cost of plane tickets to England, this woman asked, “Why don’t you just drive?” Of course, we thought she was joking. But she wasn’t.
After we explained to her why that was not possible (entailed us getting out a map to show her because she didn’t believe it was a separate country) she asked why we didn’t just take a ferry. After thirty minutes of explaining that the Atlantic Ocean is a very large body of water (“But it doesn’t look that far away on the map!”), we just gave up and told her we would look into it.
I have a hobby. I have the world’s largest collection of seashells. I keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you’ve seen some of it.
I thought of a couple more, but please don’t shoot me for a hijacker.
What with how our society has become so computer obsessed, you would think that there are a few things that everyone would know.
Uh-uh, no way, na-ah. I work in tech support, and these are a few of the gems I’ve had to deal with:
–while troubleshooting a problem in DOS, I tell this guy to make a blank space in the command line.
I said “Leave a blank space with the space bar.”
No shit he says “Space Bar? What’s a space bar? My computer didn’t come with any bars!”
–When trying to look at Dial up networking, I tell this lady to double-click “my computer”
Her response? “How can I click on your computer?”
–A lady calls up all pissed off,
“I just got my $3500 system blah blah, It don’t work, blah blah, it doesn’t even turn on, blah blah blah, I’m gonna sue you.”
Upon checking out the system, we find out that she plugged the surge protector into itself. She hung up.
how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…
VvvV
All heard from the same source.
[list]
[li]person x: Look! Lifesaver holes! At least now they aren’t wasting them.[/li][li]person x: I’m glad they gave Russia “Most Favored Nation” Trade status. I was afraid it would go to China![/li]me: I think Canada and Mexico might be a bit miffed about that.
[*]person x: (while looking for a particular address in San Francisco, to no avail 
Is there a difference between Third Street and Third Avenue?
Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.
—Red Green
Vyacheslav Molotov (1889-1986) was Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union at the time of the signing of the Nazi-Soviet Non-aggression Pact, August 23, 1939.
<P ALIGN=“CENTER”>
-Lily Tomlin
Tris </P> <HR>
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”
<FONT FACE=“Webdings” SIZE=5 COLOR="#ff2400"> ** - ** </FONT>
Ok, I’m not Lily Tomlin.
<P ALIGN=“CENTER”> Tris </P> <HR>
“I always wanted to be somebody, but I see now I should have been more specific.”
-Lily Tomlin
<FONT FACE=“Webdings” SIZE=5 COLOR="#ff2400"> ** - ** </FONT>
OK, here’s a good one. I spent 30 minutes explaining to a tourist in a Bar I used to work in, that
a) Leprechauns didnt exist. no really, I had to talk to this one for a while.
b) The Famine happened 150 years ago.
c) That we drive on the left.
And I also spent an hour, last year explaining to a ladyfriend of mine, the same age as me, what Star Wars was.
J
I’m a maniac, a maa-ianac thats for sure,
ANd Im dancin’ like I never did be-foor"
Groundskeeper Willy