# Cupid hates me. The feeling's mutual. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 4, 2001, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670 "2001-03-04T00:32:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hazel-rah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/73ab20/32.png) [@hazel-rah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hazel-rah)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/21 "2001-03-07T02:37:25Z")
I’m sorry, **malkavia**. It’s a terrible thing when it goes wrong. You’re a relationship pioneer… falling in love online and then making a go of it in a distant city takes a lot of strength and there isn’t really a path to follow, and your friends and family often have trouble understanding something none of them have been through. It looks like you’re in good company here, though. I moved to another city so my online LDR could fully flower, and it was a very educational experience, among other things. I missed my home and friends something fierce, and I never for a second thought it would be a problem until I got there. The new climate also did a number on my psyche. You just can’t predict that stuff. How would you feel about moving to his town? The question might send him into a panic if he hadn’t been forthcoming about his reasons for not returning, but if you’re serious about the relationship, it’s a fair proposition. Sorry if I’m being presumptious making suggestions. -fh ---
**Author:** ![TV\_time](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f17d59/32.png) [@TV\_time](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TV_time)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/22 "2001-03-07T02:41:23Z")
Malkavia: Here’s an idea. You live in Phoenix, right? On this same MPSIMS board, strainger and Padeye are talking about heading to the Chandler Ostrich Festival not that far from Phoenix this very weekend. I beleive it was Freud (or possible Jung) that said, “The best antidote for a tragic manipulation of the emotions is an ostrich festival” (I could be a little off on the exact quote). Give those two dopers a call/e-mail and grab the kid and take in the festival. I mean, what better way to put life into perspective than by going to a celebration of a goofy looking eight to nine foot tall bird in a town with the same name as a “Friends” character? You need some unserious time, try it. TV ---
**Author:** ![Eo\_Echo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ebca7d/32.png) [@Eo\_Echo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eo_Echo)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/23 "2001-03-07T02:47:25Z")
**malkavia-** I’m sorry; I’ve been in a similar position and it really does hurt. **Trip** and **lurk:** Please! Enough frigging hockey metaphors. ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/24 "2001-03-07T03:03:37Z")
I’m so sorry, **Malkavia**. It wasn’t anything you did, or didn’t do or could have done differently. He just plain wasn’t ready to accept what you gave. And **TV** is right; no matter what, he didn’t handle the parting well. You deserved better in the way of basic kindness and consideration. Wishing you comfort, Veb ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/25 "2001-03-07T04:38:37Z")
Sorry you’ve been dealt this nasty blow, **malkavia**. You do have friends at this board. Like **TV time** suggested, why don’t you join Padeye, his GF, and me at the Chandler Ostrich Festival this weekend. I’ve opened a thread about it [here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=62491) Hope you can join us! ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/26 "2001-03-07T09:09:50Z")
(((malkavia))) ☹ cant think of anything else either ---
**Author:** ![malkavia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malkavia/32/5621_2.png) [@malkavia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malkavia)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2001, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/27 "2001-03-07T11:02:58Z")
Wow. You are all wonderfully supportive and I thank you all for your consideration. Sometimes shit happens, eh? Im dealing okay with it. I’m a good girlfriend and I have a great kid. We had 5 wonderful months… and he even admits that he misses me and cares about me. But its his home. And I understand missing home. Of course, Im in that “my world is so over” mood right now… but I know that logically… in time, this too shall pass. And Im totally up for a silly Ostrich Festival. Thanks again, everyone. “There are other worlds than these.” -Jack, Drawing of the Three ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/28 "2001-03-08T04:57:39Z")
I’m so sorry, **malkavia.** I wish I had some words of wisdom…I don’t, but I do admire how well you are handling this. Scotti ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2001, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670/29 "2001-03-08T12:48:15Z")
I agree that this he did not handle this well. Maybe he wasn’t such a prince, but it still hurts. I hope you will have fun at that Ostrich Festival, and meet some nice people. Who says Internet friends aren’t real friends? SDMB, I love you! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cupid-hates-me-the-feelings-mutual/56670.md?page=1)