# Cursing without cussing?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [May 13, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853 "2002-05-13T17:50:16Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/1 "2002-05-13T17:50:16Z")
I thought about putting this in IMHO, but with the language that may come forth I thought it better belonged here. Mods, please feel free to move if this is the wrong forum.
I work in a cubicle…four walls, no privacy. I have been known to get frustrated with the workload, the computer software, the computer network, stupid questions. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.
As a result of this frustration, I have been know to let loose a string of four letter words. I’m not Erin Brockovich, and I am trying to watch the language, but sometimes I can’t help it.
I have also strangled myself, with a “Son of a…biscuit eater,” “Mother…of God,” and “Godd…bless America.” Not very imaginative, I’m afraid.
However, cursing my computer with “You noxious piece of shit” is not going to endear me to my nearby cubicle mates. I’m looking for imaginative curses I can use at work that will allow me to vent my frustration without offending my co-workers. On the temp board I read a thread that contained “Diaper-sucking troglodyte” but I want to save that curse for a really bad day.
So, if you are at work and you want to curse without cussing, what do you say? Could I borrow any of them?
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### Author:  [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/2 "2002-05-13T18:51:13Z")
Odds bodkins?
Zounds?
Darn?
Drat?
Curses?
Blast it?
Confarn it?
Dang?
Dang-nabbled?
See anything you like yet?
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### Author:  [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/3 "2002-05-13T18:56:24Z")
Allow me to direct you to [David’s Favorite Captain Haddock Curses](http://www.interlog.com/~tbaikie/homepage/haddock.htm)
Nothing relieves that frustration like an ear-piercing “Blistering barnacles!”
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### Author:  [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/4 "2002-05-13T19:18:29Z")
I usually let forth with a hearty “AAAARRRRGGH!” when I get frustrated.
-Dirty
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### Author:  [@Washte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washte)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/5 "2002-05-13T20:10:46Z")
Sugar, Smeg
Bastages, Basket
Piggin’, Frellin’, Feckin’, Flippin’, Chuffin’, Smeggin’
Rassimfrassen… 😃
Shazbot!
Perhaps curse in another language? German, Spanish… Pig Latin even…
Sometimes just mumbling incoherently helps… trust me… and the voices in my head…
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### Author:  [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/6 "2002-05-13T20:19:58Z")
My nephew taught me a good one: “Oh, tartar sauce!”
Give it a try.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/7 "2002-05-13T20:54:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Spritle \*
> \*\*Odds bodkins?
> Zounds?
>
> Darn?
> Drat?
> Curses?
> Blast it?
> Confarn it?
> Dang?
> Dang-nabbled?
>
> See anything you like yet? \*\*
Thanks, but those aren’t quite the strong, “clean” ones I was looking for. These are ones I used when I was in school and to afraid to use the real “swear” words.
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### Author:  [@kitarak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitarak)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/8 "2002-05-13T22:27:05Z")
I use “Fluff” and “Smurf”. 🙂
Fluff: Well, why not? Plus it sounds sufficiently close to fuck that people get confused and do a double take when they realise what you said. It’s entertaining.
Smurf: Consider how often the smurfs use it. I figure any word that versatile _has_ to be obscene.
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### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [May 13, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/9 "2002-05-13T23:12:57Z")
My mom had a co-worker who used to say “Sugar Jets!” (think cereal) instead of “Shit!”
I also like “GOD . . . bless America!” which you listed. I learned that from a friend in high school who always used to say it.
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### Author:  [@cbtcad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cbtcad)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/10 "2002-05-14T00:52:05Z")
Bloody is a personal favorite of mine.
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### Author:  [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/11 "2002-05-14T02:13:58Z")
Living with children has the same effect …
“Mother … of Pearl.”
“That ff-ff-ffrippity-frappin’ stupid thing.”
“What a pile of piddly-poppity-poop.”
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### Author:  [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/12 "2002-05-14T02:39:12Z")
“Son of a (syphilitic) Soviet sea-cook!”
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### Author:  [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/13 "2002-05-14T05:25:24Z")
You know what’s funny? As soon as I saw the thread title, the first one that sprang to mind was “Ods bodkins!” Unfortunately, Spritle beat me to the punch.
The only problem with “Ods bodkins!” is that you must leap onto a nearby table and hold your fist in the air in order for it to have the full effect.
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### Author:  [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/14 "2002-05-14T13:14:13Z")
I sympathise. I called my computer a “son of an ape” earlier this morning, which I think has a nice _1,001 Nights_ sort of touch to it, and lends itself to variation, “Grandson of toads! Offspring of debauched camels! Spawn of the nethermost pit!”, that sort of thing.
I’ve been know to call my boss a “scrofulous Antipodean mooncalf”, but that might not work for you; your boss may not, in fact, come from the other side of the world from you.
I find invoking St Albert and St Jude helps - St Albert the Great is the patron saint of science, St Jude is notoriously the patron saint of lost causes, between them I reckon they cover the IT industry.
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### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/15 "2002-05-14T14:44:05Z")
I like frack, smeg, and merde.
I also learned “gouvno!” which means shit in Polish. It cracks up my Polish co-worker whenever I use it.
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### Author:  [@ShadowWarrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShadowWarrior)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/16 "2002-05-14T15:03:33Z")
\
Boil your Bottom!
Son of a Silly Person!
I blow my nose at you!
You Empty-headed animal food-trough water!
I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
\
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### Author:  [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/17 "2002-05-14T15:32:13Z")
I knew a girl in High School who would just say: “_Dirty_ words!” Simple, but very effective.
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### Author:  [@c\_goat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/c_goat)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/18 "2002-05-14T16:44:07Z")
I like to clench my teeth and growl at the computer…
GRRRRRR!!!
Then I go take a walk to cool off.
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### Author:  [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/19 "2002-05-14T16:49:58Z")
These are really funny…thanks guys.
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### Author:  [@Freyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freyr)
#### Post date: [May 14, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/cursing-without-cussing/108853/20 "2002-05-14T16:51:47Z")
Try de-riding its parentage:
“Your mother was the original Trash 80 from Tandy and your father was an Edsel!”
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