# Custom chinese Zodiac signs and your future told here

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405 "2000-05-02T23:54:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/1 "2000-05-02T23:54:25Z")

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No charge. Just look below and pick the 12 year cycle you were born in and I will endeavour to tell you your chinese Zodiac sign, personality traits, physical and mental attributes and degree of success and happiness through out your lifetime.

Beware however!!

Some of the Chinese Zodiac signs may contain lighthearted jabs directly at your person. This may not be for the thin-skinned or easily offended.

\*Note from Swami:  
_please don’t try and tell the exalted Swami aha your sign or future before he has had a chance to give it using those silly Zodiac place mats found in most of your run-of-the-mill Chinese restaurants. He would never stoop so low as to use one himself. If you do, it will just piss him off._

If I have more than 10 takers I may answer in another thread entitled “Zodiac Signs”

Ok me first.

I was born in the 12 year cycle between 1945 and 1993. Chinese Zodiac sign?

The Cock of course. 😃

I am a pioneer in spirit, devoted to work and I quest after the plain old nookie. I am also selfish and eccentric. Rabbits and Snakes are ok with me but I draw the line at screwin an oxen. Well maybe, I would have to see the oxen first. 🙂

Pick the 12 year cycle you were born in and put it with your request if you have one. If born before 1936 you should be in bed anyway. Also please don’t get in a hurry.

This is for entertainment purposes only no wagering please.  
1938-1998  
1937-1997  
1936-1996  
1939-1999  
1940-2000  
1941-1989  
1942-1990  
1943-1991  
1944-1992  
1945-1993  
1946-1994  
1947-1995

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**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/2 "2000-05-03T00:00:15Z")

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oh oh oh! I want one aha! My favorite poster!

1946-1994

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**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/3 "2000-05-03T00:11:44Z")

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me me oh mr. aha.  
1944-1992  
(insert appropreate suck up phrase here)

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/4 "2000-05-03T00:22:42Z")

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Ok I may as well get a head start here…

B\_Line12 1946-1994

Sign? Dog

Loyal and honest you tend to work well with others. Very generous yet stubborn and often selfish. You also tend to piss on the pant legs of others during times of high excitement. In the future guard, against stopping to lick your balls ( if you have any) in the middle of the road and being run over by a semi trailor truck.

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/5 "2000-05-03T00:30:03Z")

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Osip

1944-1992

Sign? Monkey

You are a big achiever. You are very intelligent and are able to influence people. To bad you enjoy flinging your own feces through the bars of your cage at the customers and scaring the little children who had hoped for a fun day at the zoo.  
Stay away from the Snake and Horse. I don’t know why, you figure it out.

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**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/6 "2000-05-03T01:44:31Z")

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Why not?

1940-2000

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/7 "2000-05-03T01:51:24Z")

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Ok, maybe the nicotine withdrawal has made me loopier than I thought, but I am so confused by that 12 year cycle thing. I mean, I was born in 1961 which falls in all of those. What am I doing wrong?

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**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/8 "2000-05-03T01:56:36Z")

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Aha, you aren’t doing this right.

Chinese zodiac symbols aren’t based on twelve year periods.

Err…

Rather, they are, but not the way you’re doing it.

I’m not even sure HOW you’re doing it.

But look, Chinese zodiacs are assigned on a 12 year cycle, with a different sign for each year. After the twelfth year it starts over. I’m not sure how you’re doing this but I can’t see how it can possibly be right given the information you’re responding to.

You have to know the full date of birth to do it; year to find the right sign, and date to make sure their birthday doesn’t fall into the niche between Western New Year and Chinese New Year.

–John,  
who is always ruining someone’s fun and feeling bad about it.

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**Author:** ![Rosethorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Rosethorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosethorn)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/9 "2000-05-03T01:59:15Z")

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Im with Shayna…12-year cycles? Whaaaa?

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**Author:** ![Yue\_Han](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/eada6e/32.png) [@Yue\_Han](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yue_Han)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/10 "2000-05-03T02:03:24Z")

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Cross-checking your OP, my last post, and Shayna’s post, I THINK I see your system aha. It’s a system that would work, I think, but I’m not sure everyone understands it.

It seems to be going in 60 year loops, which is appropriate, but only if you’re referencing the person’s elemental sign, too.

And anyway, there’s the whole New Year’s problem.

I dunno, I’m too wiped to think clearly about this.

–John

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/11 "2000-05-03T02:09:03Z")

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The years fall in between those I listed. Sorry about that. If you don’t see your year in what I have listed in the op just give me your birth year and I got you covered.

Shaynas’s would be 1937-1997  
The years in between would be 1937,1949,1961,1973,1985,1997

Sign? Ox

You are bright patient and inspiring to others. You can be happy by yourself ( especially with fresh batteries in your vibrator) Marry a snake or cock. I guess ummm that would be a trouser snake not sure though.

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/12 "2000-05-03T02:21:40Z")

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Kat:

1940-2000 The years in between would be 1940,1952,1964,1976,1988,2000

Sign? Dragon

You are eccentric and your life is complex. You have a very passionate nature and abundant health. Marry a rat or a monkey. Or you could have cyber sex with a Cock like myself…uh o here comes mrs cock…gotta run.

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**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/13 "2000-05-03T02:47:36Z")

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well, let’s see. i was born in february 1983. what’s my sign?

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**Author:** ![Whammo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8dc957/32.png) [@Whammo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whammo)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/14 "2000-05-03T02:53:41Z")

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Oh yeah… wait… I think I jumped the gun. (What do you expect it was time for me to leave work but I wanted to get the first post in) I dont quite get it. Do I have to do math!!! ohhhh nonono. I was born in 1972. BTW, I liked my zodiac though.

Ahhhhhhhh… this might be too hard for a tuesday rum and coke evening!!

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**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/15 "2000-05-03T02:54:44Z")

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1944-1992, s’il vous plait.

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/16 "2000-05-03T02:57:51Z")

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ssskuggii:

Sign? Boar

You are noble and chivalrous. Be cautious when you marry as you will be prone to martial strife.  
You are also wise… and if your wise enough to you change that nick to something we can type and pronounce then your life on this board will be long and fruitful. Until then avoid others.

🙂

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**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/17 "2000-05-03T03:08:03Z")

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Mega the roo

1944-1992

Sign? Monkey

You are a very enthusiatic person. But you are easily discouraged and confused. Avoid tigers. You are most compatible with the rabbit because the rabbit is the most prone to give you hot rabbit marathon sex.

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**Author:** ![mega\_the\_roo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@mega\_the\_roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mega_the_roo)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/18 "2000-05-03T03:17:16Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> …you are easily . . . confused.

**DING! DING! DING!!!**

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**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/19 "2000-05-03T03:34:56Z")

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1947-1995 (1947,1959,1971,1983,1995)

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**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\
**Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/20 "2000-05-03T03:42:21Z")

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LMAO “You can be happy by yourself (especially with fresh batteries in your vibrator)” I knew I was missing _something_.

Note to self: Buy new batteries.

Thanks, aha. That was funny.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405.md?page=2)
