# Custom chinese Zodiac signs and your future told here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405 "2000-05-02T23:54:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/21 "2000-05-03T03:57:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Kat: > > 1940-2000 The years in between would be 1940,1952,1964,1976,1988,2000 > > Sign? Dragon > > You are eccentric and your life is complex. You have a very passionate nature and abundant health. Marry a rat or a monkey. Or you could have cyber sex with a Cock like myself…uh o here comes mrs cock…gotta run. Wow. That’s amazingly accurate, considering that I lied and I don’t fall into those years. Well, the first part of the description anyway. 😉 Plus, I like dragons. (My actual Zodiac sign describes me pretty well, too.) Give my regards to Mrs. aha, Ed and Jerry. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/22 "2000-05-03T04:53:17Z")
Narile: 1947-1995 Sign? Boar Your friends will be life long. You are talented and articulate. Now peer deep in to your computer screen to see the reflection of yourself… there lies the real bore. heh heh Watch out for tigers, because they eat boars for breakfast and shit them out for lunch. Marry a sheep. ---
**Author:** ![Profane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e47774/32.png) [@Profane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/23 "2000-05-03T05:03:08Z")
1974=Tiger. Watchoo got for me? ---
**Author:** ![learae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@learae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/learae)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/24 "2000-05-03T05:11:37Z")
Hey Big Boy, Do me next. I’m one of those Monkeys you keep talking about. Give me a really good reading, I could use some of that ‘hot rabbit, or Monkey sex’ you keep teasing everyone with! My year is 1944 (or actually 1956, but I did the math for you, so you could rest up and give me a great reading!!!). Waiting on pins and needles…OUCH! learae ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/25 "2000-05-03T05:38:41Z")
OhOh Please do me… wait… that didn’t come out right _shakes her head_ Um November 1982 I was born. ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/26 "2000-05-03T08:21:46Z")
I was born in 1960 which would put me in the 1936-1996 area(Rat). Seeing I’m the first rat you have, tell me mine, aha. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/27 "2000-05-03T12:45:51Z")
pipefitter: 1936-1996 Sign? Rat You are ambitious yet honest. You are also prone to spend easily. By that the Swami aha means prone to spend time in city dump grounds. Resist if possible. Also try and refrain from saying things like. "Who gives a rats ass? And “Crazy as a shithouse rat.” These kinds of phrases are bad for your self image. You are most compatiable with other rats as most of you run together in packs. ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/28 "2000-05-03T12:53:22Z")
How 'bout 1975? Chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/29 "2000-05-03T12:57:19Z")
learae: 1944-1992 Sign? Monkey You are very candid and sensitive. You are easily influenced by others. That is why the Swami aha would like to influence you to come down to Oklahoma some time for some iced tea and good old hot steaming nonstop monkey sex. Ohhh yeah I got what you need baby come on and let your daddy do …ummm sorry the exalted Swami aha got carried away there for a minute. Now just take a pencil in your little monkey hand and check yes\_\_or no\_\_\_. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/30 "2000-05-03T13:10:03Z")
TopazAntares 1946-1994 Sign? Dog Generous yet stubborn and often selfish. Marry a horse or sheep late in life. Avoid other dogs as they tend to sniff other dogs asses right in front of other people. In the future refrain from hunching the leg of visitors that come to your house to visit just because their pant legs smell like their dog. And stay out of the road. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/31 "2000-05-03T13:13:49Z")
What the hell. Hit me, you little gerbil. 1944-1992 ---
**Author:** ![the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f1d935/32.png) [@the\_Scarlet\_Pimpernel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_Scarlet_Pimpernel)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/32 "2000-05-03T13:14:20Z")
1939-1999, please. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/33 "2000-05-03T13:25:44Z")
Chrisbar 1939-1999 Sign? Rabbit Luckiest of all signs. You are talented and articulate. You are also have an unhealthy fixation with carrots. Just try and avoid phrases like. " I would rather have a cold carrot shoved up my ass rather than do that or hey you old carrotwaxer how you been?" Marry a boar and if one isn’t available a hog will do. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/34 "2000-05-03T13:43:25Z")
WallyM7 1944-1992 Sign? Monkey Popular and attractive with tendencies to prefer anonymity. That way you can play with your little monkey balls without anyone seeing you. The Swami aha predicts that your future will be bleak as paying for your son’s law school will suck the very life force right out of you. And put a diaper over that nasty little red monkey ass of yours ok? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/35 "2000-05-03T13:58:59Z")
the Scarlet Pimpernel 1939-1999 Sign? Rabbit You seek peace throughout your life and you are very affectionate and shy. However, the Swami aha predicts bad things for you in the future. He devines that you will wander off into the wrong part of the forest and Elmer Fudd will pop a cap in your ass. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/36 "2000-05-03T14:19:55Z")
1947-1993 You better be nice or you could lose your best friend Go for it ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/37 "2000-05-03T14:26:40Z")
1968 here, and I know I’m year of the Monkey (also a Libra with Saggitarius rising). Sock to me, baby! Esprix ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/38 "2000-05-03T14:27:08Z")
lunasea 1938-1998 Sign? Tiger Tiger people are very aggressive. You are also candid and sensitive. The Swami aha devines however that you are in for a good bitch slapping by winnie the pooh for blowing urine on the scrubs and trees in order to mark your territory in the forty acre wood…wait… or was that Tigger? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/39 "2000-05-03T14:35:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > 1968 here, and I know I’m year of the Monkey (also a Libra with Saggitarius rising). Sock to me, baby! > > Esprix > \*\* Esprix 1944-1992 Sign? Monkey Elegant and creative you are most compatible with cocks. Ring a bell? As far a Saggitarius rising? The Swami aha has your Saggitarius rising right here. Oh wait that doesn’t sound right does it? ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/40 "2000-05-03T14:41:48Z")
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