# Custom chinese Zodiac signs and your future told here **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405 "2000-05-02T23:54:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/41 "2000-05-03T14:45:06Z")
And to my best friend ultress Ultress 1947-1995 Sign? Boar te he he he err sorry…( the swami adjusts his turban and clears his throat) Wise and intense you have a tendency towards physical beauty. You make lasting friendships. You also have a tendency to make friendships with others who have friends in high places…like Ed Zotti and Jerry Davis for instance. ::ducking and running::::: ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/42 "2000-05-03T14:51:28Z")
Unless I missed the post, I have yet to see where Jerry Davis welcomed you to the board. Where is it? ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/43 "2000-05-03T14:55:16Z")
It’s titled jdavis ---
**Author:** ![learae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@learae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/learae)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/44 "2000-05-03T17:06:57Z")
Aha, You’d better watch yourself…I’d hate to have to come down there and put you through your paces. For one thing, you wouldn’t be able to spend so much time on this message board…as you would have to ‘rest up’ in between bouts! The idea of a break…with refreshment…and then 'wild, hot, steamy, monkey, rabbit, marathon… I think I need to go fill the car with gas…send me directions! (consider that an x in the yes box) and keep that sagittarius rising…okay! learae ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/45 "2000-05-03T19:05:42Z")
> [@](#): > > send me directions Just go to your search engine and type in [hotstud.com](http://hotstud.com) it should give you directions right to my house…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Derfel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lord\_Derfel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Derfel)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/46 "2000-05-03T19:50:20Z")
I’ll take a horoscope: 1939-1999 ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/47 "2000-05-03T20:10:29Z")
Lord Derfel 1939-1999 Sign? Rabbit You are often ostentatious and impatient. You quest after knowledge. You need people. And people who need people are the luuuuukyeest peeooople in the wooorllddddd. ( clearing throat _ahem_) Sorry Swami aha got a little carried away with that smarmy assed song. To continue… Marry a sheep or a boar. Your opposite is the cock. ( I’m sure you are glad to hear that) ---
**Author:** ![Nen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Nen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nen)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/48 "2000-05-03T20:39:38Z")
_ **Great Swami aha** _: 1939-1999 And if you’re nice I’ll nibble on your carrot… …wait a second, you wouldn’t like that… …then again, neither would I… ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/49 "2000-05-03T20:54:56Z")
Please do CanadianSue…her year is 1962…she has an office full of kids and can’t send her request ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/50 "2000-05-03T21:07:03Z")
Nen 1939-1999 Sign? Another Rabbit? The rabbits are beginning to test the Swami’s patience. You are loyal and ambitious. At times vain and high tempered. You are prone to fits of anger. As a matter of fact you are guilty of pitching a hissy fit from time to time aren’t you? Which means you are a bit immature. So learn to simmer the hell down ok? And grow the fuck up. Now hop your little bunny ass out of here, because Easter is over and I have a shotgun. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/51 "2000-05-03T21:24:59Z")
CanadianSue 1938-1998 Sign? Tiger Tiger people are aggressive, candid and sensitive. You are also devoted to your work. You promote the idea that cat fights are sexy. The Swami buys into that theory as well. Marry a snake or cock. The Swami just happens to have both but unfortunately neither is up for grabs at the moment. Perhaps when Mrs Swami catches him typing this shit on the computer they will be. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/52 "2000-05-03T21:35:46Z")
Dear Swami A-ha: Please tell me the fortune for a person born in 1969, as, by coincidence, I was. Please do not give me a crappy fortune just because I couldn’t resist yanking your chain about how you spell your name. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/53 "2000-05-03T21:57:30Z")
Jodih Sign? Cock ummmmwwwahaaaa Sorry. ( one moment while the swami gets his turban back straight) You are a pioneer in spirit. You also quest after knowledge but are sometimes selfish and eccentric. Rabbits are trouble for you as they tend to prematurely ejaculate, however that does not tend to bother you one bit cause you are one fridged bi…sorry the Swami is just upset that you typed his name wrong. Marry a Snake or Oxen ( if you are turned that way, and I am guessing you are.) ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/54 "2000-05-03T22:55:05Z")
I may be a selfish cock, Swami, but at least I know how to spell “frigid”. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/55 "2000-05-03T23:12:45Z")
Hello, Swami aha. I was born in the 1947-1995 era. That makes me a boar I guess. Regale me with your wisdom, please. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 3, 2000, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/56 "2000-05-03T23:49:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > Hello, Swami aha. I was born in the 1947-1995 era. That makes me a boar I guess. Regale me with your wisdom, please. > \*\* Purplebear A word of ancient wisdom. Do not attempt to tell the Swami what your sign is before he has told you. He is screwing this cat, you are just holding it’s tail. Ok? On with it then. 1947-1995 Sign? Boar You are noble and creative. Your friends will be life long. The simplicity of your character is admirable. However you have a tendency to snarfle your food down at the dinner table. Avoid other Boars as it would tend to be a mess at feeding time. Marry a Rabbit, they can do marvelvous things for your sex life with a simple carrot. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/57 "2000-05-04T00:42:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\* > I may be a selfish cock, Swami, but at least I know how to spell “frigid”. 😉 > \*\* True, but I think you just like typing the word Cock ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/58 "2000-05-04T16:20:32Z")
> [@](#): > > Elegant and creative you are most compatible with cocks. Ring a bell? As far a Saggitarius rising? The Swami aha has your Saggitarius rising right here. Oh wait that doesn’t sound right does it? Damn, you’re harsh, boy! C’mere and give daddy a little Sagittarius… 😉 Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/59 "2000-05-04T17:46:58Z")
> [@](#): > > True, but I think you just like typing the word Cock. That is a vicious cocking lie! I can go all cocking day without once including the word “cock” in a single cocking post. And don’t you forget it, you . . . well, you know. ---
**Author:** ![Pandora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pandora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pandora)\ **Post date:** [May 4, 2000, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405/60 "2000-05-04T18:04:47Z")
Me too me too… 1974 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-chinese-zodiac-signs-and-your-future-told-here/18405.md?page=4)