# Custom Profiles By UncleBeer! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400 "2000-04-03T18:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/61 "2000-04-04T20:59:00Z")
This is just fucking great. A thread that is only 26 hours old has created 40 hours of work for me. How did I get so far behind? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/62 "2000-04-04T21:18:00Z")
Hey, Unc, it’s just your lucky day. Speaking of which, would you do a profile for the poster who you said was “doesn’t seem too bad” for a government bureaucrat? * * * “Love flies out the door when money comes innuendo.” - Marx ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2000, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/63 "2000-04-06T11:54:00Z")
I’m still shirking my duties. Maybe later today. Maybe not. * * * I’m _still_ on Wally’s shitlist. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/64 "2000-04-13T18:25:00Z")
Ok UncleBeer, we have been very patient with you. Now bump this back up, and get to work. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/65 "2000-04-13T18:42:00Z")
Tell you what, UncleBeer and Wally, I’ll craft mash notes for each of you if you’ll supply me with a profile and a sig line. Don’t worry, they won’t be mash notes from me to you, you breeders…Wally’s will involve a fistful of fifties and a drunk hooker as requested, and for you Unc, how about an ode to beer that you can recite to your favorite mug o’ hops and pretend was written by you, thereby impressing the other barflies? * * * Live a Lush Life Da Chef ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/66 "2000-04-13T18:45:00Z")
Hey, Unca! Do I have to whine? ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/67 "2000-04-13T19:06:00Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/68 "2000-04-13T19:07:00Z")
How ironic this should be revived when I just finished whining about this very same thing in my “disappointed” thread. Huh. Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/69 "2000-04-13T19:16:00Z")
Sigh…no Wally .sig, no UncleBeer profile…oh the tragedies of being a newbie … ☹ * * * Catapultam habeo. Nisi pecuniam omnem mihi dabis, ad caput tuum saxum immane mittam. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/70 "2000-04-13T19:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **NightRabbit** : > > Sigh…no Wally .sig, no UncleBeer profile…oh the tragedies of being a newbie … ☹ Tragedy, shmagedy - I don’t have one either. We must suck (in a bad way). Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/71 "2000-04-13T20:47:00Z")
me too! Me Too! ME TOO! Thanks in advance, Unc. * * * VB I’ve performed a complete diagnosis of your car. It’s broken. - A Wally original! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/72 "2000-04-13T21:24:00Z")
Hey Unc, you ought to be able to put _something_ appropriately slanderous about your favorite lazy gummint bureaucrat and pencil-pusher in a profile. 🙂 * * * “Living in this complex world of the future is not unlike having bees live inside your head.” - F. Scott Firesign ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/73 "2000-04-13T21:25:00Z")
All righty then. Since you guys begged and whined so nicely, I promise I’ll complete the 50-odd profiles requested over the weekend. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/74 "2000-04-13T21:28:00Z")
Thanks, Unc! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/75 "2000-04-13T21:41:00Z")
\ Wish I had the courage to ask for one. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/76 "2000-04-13T21:42:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by Esprix: > \*\*How ironic this should be revived when I just finished whining about this very same thing in my “disappointed” thread. Huh. > > Esprix > > \*\* Where do you think I got the idea to find it and bump it back to the top? At least I’m halfway there, I have my **very own personal sig line by Wally**. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2000, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/77 "2000-04-13T22:00:00Z")
Actually, this will be a quite speedy response for my procrastinating self. If you recall it took me several weeks to write the SqrlCub Vacation Diary. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/78 "2000-04-14T13:54:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **ultress** : > > Where do you think I got the idea to find it and bump it back to the top? At least I’m halfway there, I have my **very own personal sig line by Wally**. See? I just don’t rate. ☹ Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/79 "2000-04-14T13:55:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **UncleBeer** : > > Since you guys begged and whined so nicely, I promise I’ll complete the 50-odd profiles requested over the weekend. **WOO HOO!** We love you, **Unc!** > [@](#): > > If you recall it took me several weeks to write the **SqrlCub** Vacation Diary. But well worth the wait and effort! Esprix * * * ## [Ask the Gay Guy!](http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html) (or, if you prefer the Jesusfied version, [Asketh the damn Priest Guy!](http://www.askjesus.org/ask.cgi?http://boards.straightdope.com/ubb/Forum7/HTML/001376.html)) “Never assume a malicious intent when stupidity will explain just as well.” ---
**Author:** ![Strainger](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strainger/32/244_2.png) [@Strainger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strainger)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/80 "2000-04-14T15:33:00Z")
Well, UncleBeer, I feel like you know me well enough. Do you think you could fit a profile for me into your busy schedule? OK, great. Terrific. ::Wondering what my sig line says since I haven’t used it forever. Let’s see, may have to bug Wally…:: * * * “Well, walk it off! And next time, _stretch_ before you ovulate.” – Al Bundy [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400.md?page=5)