# Custom Profiles By UncleBeer! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2000, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400 "2000-04-03T18:19:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/81 "2000-04-14T15:38:00Z")
OncleBiere! I want one toooooooo… * * * You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. With love from the poster voted as having the **"Most Confusing Username"** ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/82 "2000-04-14T20:44:00Z")
Pop it back up. You can’t get out of this one Uncle. * * * \*\* _Sigh_. So many men, so few who can afford me \*\* _Original by Wally_ _I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it._ ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2000, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/83 "2000-04-14T21:21:00Z")
I’ve noticed you didn’t say _which_ weekend, Unca Beer… ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/84 "2000-04-17T11:53:00Z")
Here’s a few. **Jeannie** Homepage: [www.idreamofjeannie.com](http://www.idreamofjeannie.com) Occupation: Wish granting Location: I’m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble **Chrome Toaster** Homepage: [www.smallappliances.com](http://www.smallappliances.com) Occupation: Dessicator of flour/yeast food products Location: Within 2 feet of an electric outlet Interests: Bagels, Wheat Bread, English Muffins, and Silverware **Lucretia** Homepage: [www.borgiapopes.com](http://www.borgiapopes.com) Occupation: Housewife of arranged marriages Location: Italy Interests: My husbands. Giovanni Sforza of Pesaro, Alfonso of Aragon, Alfonso of Aragon - duke of Ferrara **purplebear** Homepage: [www.purple.com](http://www.purple.com) Occupation: Painting things purple Location: Lilac, Mississippi Interests: Purple finches, plums, grapes and Barney **Canadian Sue** Homepage: [www.curling.com](http://www.curling.com) Occupation: Canadian Enchantress Location: The Arctic Archipelago Interests: Snow, ice, sleet and Popeye **hightechburrito** Homepage: [www.tacobell.com](http://www.tacobell.com) Occupation: Corporate shill Location: 5000 outlets nationwide Interests: Choke-n-pukes, greasy spoons, disgusting diners in general **Shadowfox** Homepage: [www.ihatemyex.com](http://www.ihatemyex.com) Occupation: Slave for my children Location: The damned laundry room, again Interests: Hah! Who has time. **ultress** Homepage: [www.superlativeandsassy.com](http://www.superlativeandsassy.com) Occupation: Temptress Location: Ultra, California Interests: surpluses, excesses, abundances, extras, lagniappes **Coldfire** Homepage: [www.2112.com](http://www.2112.com) Occupation: Geddy Lee impersonator Location: Backstage Interests: Flying by night, Tom Sawyer, Bidding farewell to kings ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/85 "2000-04-17T11:54:00Z")
Here’s a few more. **PunditLisa** Homepage:www.where’smysig,[Wally.com](http://Wally.com) Occupation: Tormenting Wally Location: On Wally’s back Interests: Giving Wally a hard time, being troublesome for Wally, making Wally suffer. **WallyM7** Homepage: [www.putkill.org](http://www.putkill.org) Occupation: Putzin’ around Location: Putzy’s Pub, Albany, New York Interests: Creating sig lines for the dopers takes all my time. **Rysdad** Homepage: [www.guystuff.com](http://www.guystuff.com) Occupation: Side show attraction Location: Dad, Wyoming Interests: plagiarizing one-liners, filching witty toss-offs **Shirley Ujest** Homepage: [www.don’tcallmeshirley.net](http://www.don'tcallmeshirley.net) Occupation: Punchline Location: Joker, West Virginia Interests: B-movies, stand-up comedians, vaudeville **saucy potato** Homepage: [www.idahospuds.com](http://www.idahospuds.com) Occupation: Side dish Location: the oven, 400 degrees for 45 minutes Interests: fine dining, sour cream and butter. **MaryAnnQ** Homepage: [www.getahaircutnow.com](http://www.getahaircutnow.com) Occupation: Neck shaver Location: On my feet Interests: Sweeping up hair, vacuuming up hair and coughing up hair **BigRoryG** Homepage: [www.I’mbig.com](http://www.I'mbig.com) Occupation: Photographer wannabe Location: The darkroom Interests: Yes. **elelle** Homepage: [www.letmetemptyou.com](http://www.letmetemptyou.com) Occupation: I have red hair, isn’t that enough? Location: Nirvana Interests: making UncleBeer crazy, goat photography ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/86 "2000-04-17T11:56:00Z")
The rest are gonna have to wait til lunchtime today. Ya know, I hope none of those “homepages” go anywhere bad. I didn’t check 'em. ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/87 "2000-04-17T12:31:00Z")
Gee, thanks, Unc! What a pal. * * * ## WallyM7 Homepage: [www.putzkill.org](http://www.putzkill.org) Occupation: Putzin’ around Location: Putzy’s Pub, Albany, New York Interests: Creating sig lines for the dopers takes all my time. Profile by UncleBeer and Elmer Fudd Enterprises. All wights weserved. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/88 "2000-04-17T16:36:00Z")
**Ayesha** Homepage: [www.houstonzoo.org](http://www.houstonzoo.org) Occupation: Lion Tamer Location: Just inside the cage, behind the whip and chair Interests: Large felines, raw meat, counting my extremities **evilbeth** Homepage: [www.villianess.edu](http://www.villianess.edu) Occupation: Professor at Purgatory Univ. Location: The Nether Regions (no, Coldfire, not The Netherlands) Interests: wickedness, depravity, corruption, vice, malignity, vice… **Kat** Homepage: [www.kitkatclub.com](http://www.kitkatclub.com) Occupation: Exotic Dancer Location: Weimar Republic Interests: High heel shoes, sexy stockings and revealing costumes **Nu Vo Da Da** Homepage: [www.dadaism.com](http://www.dadaism.com) Occupation: Confused Artist Location: Zurich, Switzerland Interests: Tristan Tzara, anarchy and nihilism **Pixiod** Homepage: [www.lightwave.com](http://www.lightwave.com) Occupation: Photon Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence **android209** Homepage: [www.smallwonder.com](http://www.smallwonder.com) Occupation: Mechanical slave to humanity Location: Let me check my programming Interests: Whatever I’m told **Mullinator** Homepage: [www.myhead’sintheclouds.com](http://www.myhead'sintheclouds.com) Occupation: Elevator shoe salesman Location: Towering over you Interests: Ducking, stooping, bending down, crouching and leaning over **Esprix** Homepage: [www.askthegayguy.com](http://www.askthegayguy.com) Occupation: Tight end Location: Any orifice will do Interests: Gay Porn, men and so-called deviant acts **SwimmingRiddles** Homepage: [www.aquaticquandary.com](http://www.aquaticquandary.com) Occupation: I’m the nemesis of Batman of Atlantis Location: The deep end Interests: The breaststroke, puzzles, the butterfly, enigmas, the backstroke and labyrinths ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/89 "2000-04-17T16:41:00Z")
I think this is the last of 'em. **JohnLarrigan** Homepage: [www.irishwhiskey.com](http://www.irishwhiskey.com) Occupation: Pub denizen Location: See above Interests: Anything except the Queen **RTFirefly** Homepage: [www.glacticgovernment.gov](http://www.glacticgovernment.gov) Occupation: Galactic Emperor Location: Trantor Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors **Chef Troy** Homepage: [www.epicureanmaster.com](http://www.epicureanmaster.com) Occupation: Pre-occupied Location: I have my head stuck in the fridge Interests: carbohydrates, proteins, food groups and cookbooks **Night Rabbit** Homepage: [www.nocturnallagomorph.com](http://www.nocturnallagomorph.com) Occupation: Easter Bunny Location: A cozy burrow Interests: Carrots and screwin’ pretty much covers it **Vestal Blue** Homepage: [www.wildblueyonder.com](http://www.wildblueyonder.com) Occupation: Stunt Pilot Location: 32,000 ft and 700 mph Interests: takeoffs, landings, bombing runs **Strainger** Homepage: [www.ultimateshearstrength.com](http://www.ultimateshearstrength.com) Occupation: Strain gauge Location: I’m stuck under this piece of Kapton tape Interests: Tensile strength, Young’s Modulus and Free-body diagrams **Canthearya** Homepage: [www.beltonehearingaids.com](http://www.beltonehearingaids.com) Occupation: Town Crier Location: 2 inches from your ear Interests: ear trumpets, megaphones, bullhorns and echo chambers If you don’t like what I gave you, tough shit. You’ll get over it. I know I already am. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/90 "2000-04-18T05:21:00Z")
Woohoo! Thanks, Unc! And to think that I once thought it was a big deal to be President of Freedonia. 😉 * * * Homepage: [www.galacticgovernment.gov](http://www.galacticgovernment.gov) Occupation: Galactic Emperor Location: Trantor Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors –Profile by **UncleBeer** ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/91 "2000-04-17T19:18:00Z")
Woohoo! Thanks, Unc! And to think that I once thought it was a big deal to be President of Freedonia. 😉 * * * Homepage: [www.galacticgovernment.gov](http://www.galacticgovernment.gov) Occupation: Galactic Emperor Location: Trantor Interests: Palace intrigue, hereditary successors –Profile by **UncleBeer** ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/92 "2000-04-17T21:29:00Z")
I know I’m a newbie and all but… Am I too late? Can I have one too? Please? _does the big doe eyes_ I’ll worship the ground you walk on forever and ever if you do. ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/93 "2000-04-17T21:44:00Z")
Clap hands, squeal for joy!!! I had given up, thank you, Uncy Beer. * * * Drink up, dear. I made it just for you. _sig by_ **WallyM7** ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/94 "2000-04-17T21:51:00Z")
Thanks Beer! This Bud…er…Amstel is for you! ---
**Author:** ![inertia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/d07c76/32.png) [@inertia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inertia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/95 "2000-04-17T22:04:00Z")
If I didn’t buy you a beer when we were in Springfield, I meant to. Isn’tit the thought that counts? (I left that space out on purpose. He He He) Gimme’ a profile ya’ big goof. ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/96 "2000-04-17T22:48:00Z")
UncleBeer, how can I ever repay you? Wait, don’t answer that! Tell you what–at the ChiDopes gathering, I owe you a beer. I know I complain about lame jokes about my name all the time. But this is actually funny. I was ROTFLMAO when I first read it. Thanks so much! 🙂 * * * ## Homepage: [www.idreamofjeannie.com](http://www.idreamofjeannie.com) Occupation:Wish granting Location: I’m still stuck in this damn bottle in Cocoa Beach, Fla. Interests: Getting Major Nelson in trouble, getting Major Nelson out of trouble –_Custom profile courtesy of **UncleBeer** _ I never hate myself in the morning. I sleep till noon. –_Custom sig line courtesy of **Wally** _ ---
**Author:** ![Pixoid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Pixoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/97 "2000-04-17T23:33:00Z")
You like me, you really like me! Or at least tolerate, which I’m good with. 🙂 Thank you, thank you, thank you! -Pix * * * ## My classes are optional. So is graduating. (Certifiable **WallyM7** Sig) Homepage: [www.lightwave.com](http://www.lightwave.com) Occupation: Photon Location: I’m still stuck on this phosphor screen Interests: Illuminescence, Phosphorescence and Florescence (Profile by **UncleBeer** ) ---
**Author:** ![Jeannie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e480ec/32.png) [@Jeannie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jeannie)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2000, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/98 "2000-04-17T23:58:00Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by UncleBeer: > **Ya know, I hope none of those “homepages” go anywhere bad. I didn’t check 'em.** Mine does go somewhere. Three guesses what “[www.idreamofjeannie.com](http://www.idreamofjeannie.com)” leads to. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/99 "2000-04-18T01:27:00Z")
My, UncaB, how far into the cups were ya when you came up with mine? Hee! Thanks a bunch. And, a 21 goat salute to your honorable sensability! * * * The ride is short and the thrills are cheap- Men and rollercoasters. - - -Courtesy of Wally, that Signifying Guy. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [April 18, 2000, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400/100 "2000-04-18T02:17:00Z")
How far in the cups? Why not at all. I wrote that at about 5:15 while I was waiting on the coffee machine at work this morning. And oddly enough, I’m still at work at 10:15pm, but I’m leaving in 10 minutes. A quick malt beverage and off to bed. I’ll see you all tomorrow bright and early. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/custom-profiles-by-unclebeer/16400.md?page=6)