# Customer Service Agent from the Security Department of Windows **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 21, 2016, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272 "2016-12-21T00:43:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/41 "2016-12-27T20:01:49Z")
> [@Skywatcher](#): > > I wonder what would happen if you pretended to be a chatbot. Lol. Made me think of the chatbot that went off the rails into right wing neo-nazi shit. And if you started doing that sort of slow breakdown to completely off the rails over the course of a 10-15 minute conversation with them. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fotheringay-Phipps](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/d9b06d/32.png) [@Fotheringay-Phipps](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fotheringay-Phipps)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2016, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/42 "2016-12-27T20:15:50Z")
I sometimes mess with these guys a bit, depending on my mood and what else is going on. But what makes it frustrating sometimes is that IME their command of English tends to be too weak for them to really pick up on what you’re saying. After a while they get the sense that you’re playing with them and they hang up, but my impression is that they’re not fully grasping what you’re saying to them. I imagine they know well the English words and phrases that they need to access your computer etc. but are pretty shaky otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/43 "2016-12-30T04:46:31Z")
> [@Fotheringay-Phipps](#): > > I sometimes mess with these guys a bit, depending on my mood and what else is going on. But what makes it frustrating sometimes is that IME their command of English tends to be too weak for them to really pick up on what you’re saying. After a while they get the sense that you’re playing with them and they hang up, but my impression is that they’re not fully grasping what you’re saying to them. > > I imagine they know well the English words and phrases that they need to access your computer etc. but are pretty shaky otherwise. A co-worker who was from India told me that a lot of the people working in these outfits (and also in legit call centres) do it to practice and improve their English. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/44 "2016-12-30T15:02:20Z")
Then it’s my duty to teach them common phrases that their English teacher may not have covered. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2016, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/45 "2016-12-30T17:42:43Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Then it’s my duty to teach them common phrases that their English teacher may not have covered. > > Regards, > Shodan “Son of a bitch! Shit!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/46 "2017-01-05T18:56:52Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > If you don’t want an extended conversation, but still want to hit home, try “Does your mother know you are a criminal?” I’ve had them argue with me when trying that one. Of course, there was the fellow who said she DID know :p. Maybe next time I’ll try a variation: “You might want to ask your mother if she can get you some honest work down at her whorehouse”. Since we have Nomorobo, though, we almost never get these calls. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/47 "2017-01-05T21:58:42Z")
My ex had the funniest way of dealing with calls like that. He’d let them go through their entire spiel which was usually a couple of minutes long and then say “pardon?”. Then they’d start over and he’d wait while they said the entire thing over again and go “sorry, what?” and they’d try again. Usually by the 4th time they’d just give up and hang up. I’d laugh so hard I’d have tears running down my face. ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/48 "2017-01-05T22:13:45Z")
Sometimes, when I get calls from scammers, or from “legitimate” telemarketers, I put my now-three-year-old daughter on. She _loves_ to talk on the phone. I don’t do it as much now that she can understand more, but when she was two, she would just sort of keep repeating “hello, hello,” and smile a lot. ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/49 "2017-01-05T22:25:43Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Lol. Made me think of the chatbot **that went off the rails into right wing neo-nazi shit**. Which, in the kind of rich circle-of-life irony that makes me appreciate life, was [a Microsoft product](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tay_(bot)). ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/50 "2017-01-05T22:48:16Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > My ex had the funniest way of dealing with calls like that. He’d let them go through their entire spiel which was usually a couple of minutes long and then say “pardon?”. Then they’d start over and he’d wait while they said the entire thing over again and go “sorry, what?” and they’d try again. Usually by the 4th time they’d just give up and hang up. > > I’d laugh so hard I’d have tears running down my face. I’ve done that too. The first time, I was actually listening to the guy, and about halfway through asked him to repeat part because it was garbled. He relaunched into his spiel, and the light bulb went on above my head. I waited until nearly the end, and interrupted with something like "Did you say “\”? He’d relaunch. He was clearly agitated on the third attempt, and hung up when I interrupted him before the fourth. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2017, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272/51 "2017-01-05T23:49:58Z")
I don’t exactly welcome a call from one of these “service representatives,” I wouldn’t mind fucking with anyone who called. I’ve tried baiting the 419 scammers a few times via e-mail, but I’ve not had one respond to me. [quote=“Machine\_Elf, post:11, topic:775272”] For “scamming the scammer” fans, one of the best legends is that of the [P-P-P-Powerbook scam.](http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/p-p-p-powerbook) Executive summary: [ul][li]Seller lists Powerbook for sale on eBay. Scammer makes an offer, asks for shipping to a foreign address and proposes an external (fake) escrow site for managing payment.[/li] [li]Seller agrees to the sale, and ships a three-ring binder with keyboard keys haphazardly glued to it and an icon-filled screen drawn freehand on it with a magic marker. He lists the customs value as $2000, thus requiring the scammer to pay 27% in import duties before he can receive the package. [/li] [li]Scammer does indeed pay the taxes, receives the package, and responds with an internet attack against the seller (the seller claimed that the attack wasn’t particularly effective and was easily stopped). [/ul] The KYM page doesn’t give all the details, but the whole reverse scam is very well documented elsewhere on the net; helpful UK members of the SomethingAwful forum (where the original story was posted) even staked out the delivery site in an effort to identify the scammer and maybe even get his picture.[/li][/QUOTE] This is grand! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customer-service-agent-from-the-security-department-of-windows/775272.md?page=2)