I’m confused why a married couple goes “dutch”. Do you have your own distinct and separate bank accounts, budgets, etc.? 
I always “pay” when we go out to eat, go shopping or out to a show, travel, etc. because it’s not my money or her money, it’s our money.
To prevent this from turning into a major hijack, I’ll just ask Larry what he thinks of apologizing to his wife and let it go at that.
(Sorry if I sounded accusatory earlier, Eureka. I was just surprised by the idea that he had anything to apologize for.)
[QUOTE=featherlou]
(Sorry if I sounded accusatory earlier, Eureka. I was just surprised by the idea that he had anything to apologize for.)
[/QUOTE]
No problem–in a perfect world, my post would have been clearer.
[QUOTE=ArchiveGuy]
I’m confused why a married couple goes “dutch”. Do you have your own distinct and separate bank accounts, budgets, etc.?
[/QUOTE]
Yes, many of us do, for various and sundry reasons. Finances are just one of the many aspects of marriage where one size does not fit all.
Woof! More replies than I expected, and not nearly as condemning, either. That’s a relief.
Re: apologizing to my better half. Waaaaay ahead of you, Eureka. First order of business, actually. She was embarrassed, and that warrants an apology. (Hell, I was embarrassed.)
As for goin’ dutch, yeah - I guess that’s a bit weird. We have “yours,” “mine,” and “ours” accounts - but “ours” is generally reserved for rent, groceries, bills, and big ticket items that we share.
We’re still “Who’s buyin?” when it comes to eating out and whatnot.
Thanks for all the advice, folks - I feel better.
I think I will buy a gift card or movie coupons to have ready the next time I go in. (I do feel bad about turning down the order, still.) I’ll tell the owner in detail why I was bothered and present the poor cashier with little make-up gift.
(Seriously, if it wasn’t such a damned good place, I’d just avoid it out of embarrassment.)
Actually, you were much more accepting of poor service than I would be. But I was taught by an expert that in-person customers always take priority over phone calls (which are only potential customers, after all).
Last time this happened to me, I just reached across to the phone and pressed the button to hang it up. Then gave her my order. The phone rang about a minute later, she started to reach for it, then looked at me, and called for someone in back to get the phone.
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd]
<snip>
I think I will buy a gift card or movie coupons to have ready the next time I go in. (I do feel bad about turning down the order, still.) I’ll tell the owner in detail why I was bothered and present the poor cashier with little make-up gift.<snip>
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You’re so Canadian. 
[QUOTE=bannerrefugee]
Don’t go there for a couple of months. Spending my money elsewhere usually is satisfaction enough for me.
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But you see, they don;t know you have a grievance.
To the OP- you have to go in and explain this. Explain politely that although you accept that a phone order does have some priority after that many interruptions it was getting rude. If they have that many calls, they need an extra person.
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd]
I think I will buy a gift card or movie coupons to have ready the next time I go in. (I do feel bad about turning down the order, still.) I’ll tell the owner in detail why I was bothered and present the poor cashier with little make-up gift.
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Huh? A gift? For doing a shabby job? I would just go back and try again. That’s “gift” enough–you’re trusting them that it was an aberration and you still want to give them your business.
I’m confused on how they sent your order back to the kitchen when you had only told them the first item so far?
Gift card? Waaaay overthinking it. Sure, tell the manager about the crappy service you had, but leave it at that. The gift thing just seems weird. To me, anyway.
And I agree with the others that she should have picked up the phone and asked the caller to hold before taking your order.
[QUOTE=gigi]
Huh? A gift? For doing a shabby job? I would just go back and try again. That’s “gift” enough–you’re trusting them that it was an aberration and you still want to give them your business.
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Yeah, are you kidding? No gift. I’m very rarely the type to complain about service, but the situation in the OP would have most likely had me retracting my order and stomping off. There’s really no excuse for keeping a customer waiting ten minutes like that. Has the cashier never heard the words “please hold?”
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd]
Last night we stopped to pick up sushi on the way home.
Ordinarily, the service there is great. Exceptionally great. Really, really great.
My wife ordered, paid, and sat down. (We went dutch as a compromise, I’d gotten the movie tickets and wouldn’t hear of her getting dinner because I typically eat five times as much as she does.)
As I was ordering, the phone rang. She picked up the phone, and took a delivery order. Fine. Short call, maybe three minutes.
She finished with that, and I reiterated my order, which she scratched on a notepad. I got out my wallet, and the phone rang again. “Hang on.” This person had several questions about hours, location, specials, etc. Again, short call, two - three minutes.
She hung up, picked up the scratch pad, walked over to the till, and entered the first item of my order as I got my card out in anticipation of completing the transaction. And then the phone rang, again. “Oh, hang on a minute.” More than a minute, actually - this was a large order. I waited another four - five minutes with my wallet out.
As I had been standing there for ten minutes with my order no closer to the kitchen, I waved my hand at her and said “Forget it, I’m not hungry.” She furrowed her brow a bit at that, but carried on with her call. Then I went to sit down with my wife and wait. And fume.
I was a bit mad; I don’t see this as any different that allowing three customers to cut in line ahead of me - at some point I expect that I am going to be served and that the other customer is going to be asked to “wait a minute.” My wife’s order had already gone to the kitchen, at that point I just wanted to get home and did not want to wait another 15 minutes after her order was ready.
But we did wait. Turns out she went ahead and passed my order to the kitchen after I sat down. I said, “I’m sorry, I though you understood that I had cancelled my order - as I was waiting for you I realized that I didn’t really feel like sushi after all.” This is true, actually - sushi was my wife’s idea and I remembered I had leftover lasagna waiting.
Now this is bothering me a bit. My wife was mortified and had no problem expressing that - and ordinarily I am not a “difficult” customer; I know that customer service is difficult and hate people that are assholes servers. On the other hand, I feel bad that they went ahead and prepared my order and had to bin it.
But I had decided against it and said so, so I don’t feel responsible for that. I also don’t think it’s reasonable to leave a customer standing there for that length of time, I think that well before the five minute mark she should have asked the other party to “hold” and allowed me to finish my business and sit down with my wife.
I know that if I feel crap about it it’s probably not for nothing, I could have explained myself better and maybe ought to have taken the order anyway, but I had honestly lost the taste for it.
The worst thing is that it’s my wife’s favourite sushi place and right on the way home from work, so at some point I am going to have to confront it. Hell, I am partial to the place, myself. The owner and the sushi assembly guys are friendly to the point of remembering tiny personal details disclosed at the last visit and asking follow-up questions about them. This girl was a new hire.
The whole situation was so atypical, in both the poor level of service and my reaction to it. Usually, they are awesome - and I am usually mellow to the point of milquetoast when it comes to my expectations. I probably would have just put up with it if I was craving sushi myself, but I stood there long enough waiting to get pretty damned sour.
What’s the right thing to do, here? Mild complaint letter? Abject apology? Some weird combo?
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The first thing to do is explain to your wife that you cannot eat sushi and poo-poo at the same time. This is what they restaurant was serving. I have been in your exact situation myself, and realizing that you are being dissed is one of the MOST effective appetite suppressants that one can imagine. And the women in our lives think that we are being ‘difficult.’ Let her know that at least one other doper behaves this way. I, also, let things slide, in restaurants, bad service, sloooow orders, etc, but, sometimes, the abuse is intolerable. For the prices charged, you should be getting a neck massage, as well as competent, efficient, and timely service.
To your OP, blow it all off. They won’t listen to an apology, or complaints. Business as usual.
[QUOTE=Max Torque]
…So, yeah, she was wrong to keep you waiting. And she was also wrong to send your order to the kitchen, although she very likely thought that was what she had to do to keep you happy after her initial mistake. So, she was wrong on two counts, but at least with the second one she was trying to make things right…
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True, but in that case I’d expect his order to be free. It’s not foodservice, but I work in a small store (part of a chain owned by a very big coporation). I was told by the district manager that if the phone rang while I was physically in the process of ringing a customer up to simply ignore it until the transaction was complete, then ask the next customer to wait. His reasoning? “The customer in the store is more important that anyone who could possibly on the line.” Granted we don’t take orders over the phone or anything like that.