# Customers called "Fat Girls" on receipt at restaurant **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595 "2012-12-10T14:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/181 "2012-12-11T01:51:54Z")
Man, I’m glad this didn’t happen at my deli. This is not the kind of free publicity I’d ever want. The waiter is either dumb or mean. I’d want neither quality in one of my servers. ---
**Author:** ![Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/77aa72/32.png) [@Fluffy\_PickleSniffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fluffy_PickleSniffer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/182 "2012-12-11T01:56:42Z")
Okay, I’ll jump in and be brave. I’m fat. And I love to eat - bad combination. I was at a Chinese restaurant with a friend and we had been to the buffet only once. We decided to go for seconds and stood up in the tiny booth. My friend walked out and then I leaned on the table to follow - and tipped the entire table over into the aisle. Several people at nearby tables laughed and said things along the lines of “How many helpings have you had?” “Are you sure you ought to be going back up there?” and I wasn’t offended at all - was laughing right along with them. Darn flimsy tables. I’m sure I’ve had things written on waiter’s notes about me but I’ve never looked and I wouldn’t be offended. I’m the first to admit I’m fat. I do find it annoying though when people try to tell me I’m “just fine and don’t need to lose weight” - what? Who are you trying to kid? I know better! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/183 "2012-12-11T02:03:57Z")
Just wanted to say that\*\* Fluffy Picklesniffer\*\* is my new favorite username. And probably the name of my next cat. Or dog. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/184 "2012-12-11T02:09:00Z")
I’m wondering if they walked out on the check in anger and then contacted the media because in addition to being angry and thinking that some attitudes needed to be adjusted, they were also worried that they could be criminally charged. It’s hard to tell what the sequence really was. And if they were regular customers who had seen other people comped for smaller mixups, a chuckling offer of 25% off would have felt like another judgement. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/185 "2012-12-11T02:11:39Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > It seems like you don’t understand what a manager’s position really is. Some people are unclear on the difference between blame and responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/186 "2012-12-11T02:14:54Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Why do I get the feeling you don’t place me in that .1 percent. First, whether you believe me or not, I wasn’t trying to insult you with my post; I _totally_ get why you would complain to management and try to get a free meal out of the whole fiasco and in fact, I might well do the same, depending on how management acted when the situation was called to their attention. What I can’t ever understand is why in the name of sweet holy mollyfock you would ever even _dream_ of simultaneously TIPPING the asshole who insulted you in the first place? He savagely sasses you, which you (rightfully) object to, eventually causing your meal to be comped, (thereby costing his employer money) and yet smartass is still financially rewarded for his rudeness??? Makes no sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/187 "2012-12-11T02:17:55Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > We all use potentially-offensive shorthand in our internal dialog (“Okay, I have to give the report to the bird-looking lady with the funny hair, and then have it signed by the slow guy with the unibrow…”) but it’s bad professional practice to write these things down or say them where they have any potential for being overheard. Sing it, sister. I mean, it’s not like it’s a nonprofessional interaction where you’re silently-but-aggressively elbowing all those assholes off _your_ armrest on the airplane or something. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/188 "2012-12-11T02:47:08Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > And plenty of us don’t give a shit, because, you know, it’s not like it’s a big secret that we’re short. It’s more annoying when people strive NOT to point it out. Amen, brother! I am 5’3". If I am describing myself on the phone to someone I have never met who is coming to my office, I say, 'Look for the short, Italian guy." It is the easy way to distinguish me. If someone on the floor were asked where to find Tony, they would say he’s the short guy in Maintenance Control. Why not use it as a descriptor if no malice is intended? Why ignore the easiest descriptor because some people would use it in a hurtful way? If they are offended, at least they can lose weight. I am almost 43 years old, I ain’t growing anymore. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/189 "2012-12-11T02:51:59Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > First, I don’t believe that shortness carries anywhere near the same stigma as fatness. A completely false equivalence. > > No one has ever, ever said: > > “What did that person do to get so short?” > > “I used to be short, but kind of let myself go.” > > “You need to get a little taller, or it will take a toll on your health.” Yes, but the fact is tall people, on average, make more money. Cite:[http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html) And if you don’t think some people think that short people’s opinions can be discounted, you should chop 6 inches off of your legs and walk around down here for a while. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/190 "2012-12-11T02:54:27Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > Yes, but the fact is tall people, on average, make more money. Cite:[http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html) > > And if you don’t think some people think that short people’s opinions can be discounted, you should chop 6 inches off of your legs and walk around down here for a while. If I did that, I still wouldn’t be ‘down there’ with you. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/191 "2012-12-11T02:55:30Z")
Sorry for hijacking the thread, but if anyone thinks that my above two posts contradict each other let me explain it like this: I beleive that if more people used descriptive terms such as short, fat, or even black, as neutral descriptions, and did not tolerate their use to belittle people, then the world would be on its way to being a more tolerant, less bigoted place. P.S. I said “belittle” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/192 "2012-12-11T03:34:02Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > Yes, but the fact is tall people, on average, make more money. Cite:[http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html](http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/Careers/02/02/cb.tall.people/index.html) > > And if you don’t think some people think that short people’s opinions can be discounted, you should chop 6 inches off of your legs and walk around down here for a while. His user name is descriptive. So he’d still have a foot on you. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/193 "2012-12-11T03:50:49Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > I beleive that if more people used descriptive terms such as short, fat, or even black, as neutral descriptions, and did not tolerate their use to belittle people, then the world would be on its way to being a more tolerant, less bigoted place. Yes, when people no longer feel the need to demean others for their race, stature, gender, religion, or sexual preference, it will truly be a happy day. We will trade jibes and slurs freely and in good cheer, knowing that nobody truly thinks of anybody else as lesser or inferior. It will be a time of joyous peace and loving harmony. And when my grandma grows wheels, I’ll be able to ride her around the neighborhood like a little bicycle. In the meantime, I guess we’ll just have to do our best not to say or do things to people that we know damn well will hurt their feelings. Woe is us. ---
**Author:** ![tonyfop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/85f322/32.png) [@tonyfop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonyfop)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/194 "2012-12-11T04:00:40Z")
> [@colander](#): > > Yes, when people no longer feel the need to demean others for their race, stature, gender, religion, or sexual preference, it will truly be a happy day. We will trade jibes and slurs freely and in good cheer, knowing that nobody truly thinks of anybody else as lesser or inferior. It will be a time of joyous peace and loving harmony. And when my grandma grows wheels, I’ll be able to ride her around the neighborhood like a little bicycle. > > In the meantime, I guess we’ll just have to do our best not to say or do things to people that we know damn well will hurt their feelings. Woe is us. And if we can’t use words like short, fat, or black as descriptors without being called a bigot, we can never have a true dialogue about these subjects, and everyone knows we should never have a dialogue between people with differing views, we should just mock them. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/195 "2012-12-11T04:06:18Z")
> [@taskmgr.exe](#): > > Do you mean “you can insult, upset or offend anyone in any way, because you made of them in the past.”? > > Seriously, I am confused. Should there be any excuse for offending, insulting or upsetting people? I honestly don’t even know what you’re talking about. > [@Loach](#): > > I’m a member of the MOL Fanclub. What does that make me? A sucker. > [@tonyfop](#): > > Amen, brother! I am 5’3". If I am describing myself on the phone to someone I have never met who is coming to my office, I say, 'Look for the short, Italian guy." It is the easy way to distinguish me. Aye, true story. I went to the world’s tiniest Dope Fest not too long ago here, and I didn’t even bother to show a picture or describe what I was wearing. Given the neighborhood where we were gonna be, I was like, “Look for the black girl.” And if there happened to be more than one, which I knew there wouldn’t be, I threw in that I wear glasses. I mean, seriously, sometimes living on the North side of Chicago, all I have to say is I’m black. Big whoop. And guess what? I was Psst’d the moment I walked in. Obviously it’s insulting if people can’t see anything about you other than your weight or your race, but when you’re talking about a crowd of people, where there’s nothing to know about them other than what they look like, an easy way to separate them is by, well, what they look like. Again, an internal note presumably meant to help identify them is very different from the waiter greeting them with “Evening, fatties.” ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/196 "2012-12-11T04:12:46Z")
> [@tonyfop](#): > > And if we can’t use words like short, fat, or black as descriptors without being called a bigot, we can never have a true dialogue about these subjects, and everyone knows we should never have a dialogue between people with differing views, we should just mock them. What the waiter did was not part of a dialogue about any of these things. Using physical descriptors that carry negative judgments in contexts that does not require them to be used is not part of any kind of dialogue about society. And the workplace, whether serving customers or interacting with colleagues, is not an appropriate context for such “dialogue.” If you want to have a dialogue about perceptions of and treatment of fat people in society, no one is going to stop you from using appropriate descriptive words. Don’t even try to pretend that randomly labeling people using socially disfavored physical traits is part of some high-minded social reform. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/197 "2012-12-11T04:26:34Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > What the waiter did was not part of a dialogue about any of these things. Using physical descriptors that carry negative judgments in contexts that does not require them to be used is not part of any kind of dialogue about society. And the workplace, whether serving customers or interacting with colleagues, is not an appropriate context for such “dialogue.” If you want to have a dialogue about perceptions of and treatment of fat people in society, no one is going to stop you from using appropriate descriptive words. Don’t even try to pretend that randomly labeling people using socially disfavored physical traits is part of some high-minded social reform. So “clinically obese girls” would have been appropriate? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/198 "2012-12-11T04:29:09Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > So “clinically obese girls” would have been appropriate? You’re joking, right? Because nothing that I said would suggest that I agree with this. Unless you are a health professional and these customers are your patients, there is no context for you to comment on clinical anything. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/199 "2012-12-11T04:44:19Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > You’re joking, right? Because nothing that I said would suggest that I agree with this. Well, what are appropriate descriptive words? Is “tattoo guy” okay? “Big hair”? “Shorty”? “Skinny chick”? “Stretch?” Go ahead, tell us which of these is an acceptable descriptor so we know how to think. Because the waiter, no matter how clueless, works for tips and most likely didn’t intend to hand the guests that ticket. It was a stupid oversight, and taking umbrage because he noted that the most obvious and memorable descriptor of his table of 3 big girls was their size isn’t going to change perceptions, either. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/200 "2012-12-11T04:53:54Z")
Heck, if only an actual server had offered a solution to this apparently impenetrable puzzle … oh, yes, someone did! You can refer to them by their shirt colors. And hey you can even use that newfangled technology of numbering your tables. I hear there are a couple of pioneering restaurants that have managed to make that work. And again you offer the straw man of trying to control someone’s thoughts. Who but you has expressed that desire? Mature members of society know that in workplace situations there are some things you don’t say, and not saying something includes not writing it down, even if you don’t think that anyone is going to see it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=11)