# Customers called "Fat Girls" on receipt at restaurant **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595 "2012-12-10T14:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/221 "2012-12-11T14:19:12Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I’ve never been a waitress, but wouldn’t the table number be adequate to identify which customers ordered the items on that check? I’ve never been a waitperson, but when I look at a restaurant with 50 tables it makes me wonder how long it takes to learn table numbers. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/222 "2012-12-11T14:22:58Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I’ve never been a waitress, but wouldn’t the table number be adequate to identify which customers ordered the items on that check? Normally, yes, and that’s what I’d expect. However, the story in the OP mentions that the server who made the comment was the bartender, which indicates that they ordered stuff at the bar. In that case, he’d have to keep track of the individuals. So he’d need some memorable characteristic of the individuals to link them to the bill. Also, allegedly, the place was busy. ---
**Author:** ![Tarwater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9de0a6/32.png) [@Tarwater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tarwater)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/223 "2012-12-11T14:27:19Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Why is that not ok? If someone has very little money, they are poor. I can say ‘That person is poor.’ > > Christ, can we never describe anybody as anything?? Here’s a simple solution. Ask yourself: is it conceivable that this description could offend the person being described? If yes, don’t use it. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/224 "2012-12-11T14:29:03Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > At the grocery store recently, I was pushing my cart to the cart corral across the aisle. > Apparently too slowly for Super Cool Guy in a Porsche. He honked at me and told me to get my fat ass out of the way. > > Now in his defense, virtually anyone would say I’m fat. My wife for example. At 300 lbs, I clearly weigh more than I should, but it’s no one’s fault but mine. I am solely responsible. > > My reply was “Really? That’s all you’ve got? Fat? A five year old can see I’m fat. Why don’t you see if you can come up with something more original, something with some thought behind it?” > > He simply replied “Fuck you fatty” and drove away. Predictable as sunrise. > > Notice that I did not contact CNN and have a camera crew come confirm for the world to see just what a lardass I am. > > While I accept responsibility for my weight, but I ain’t braggin about it. > > The solution? > Don’t tip the guy, tell the manager, and don’t come back. Tell your friends. If it happens again, you might say: Well, I’m starting my diet tomorrow, but you’ll never be able to lose the stupid. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/225 "2012-12-11T14:30:43Z")
> [@Tarwater](#): > > Here’s a simple solution. Ask yourself: is it conceivable that this description could offend the person being described? > > If yes, don’t use it. Problem solved. Ridiculous. It’s conceivable that anybody could be offended at anything. Which brings us back around to ‘we can never describe anybody as anything.’ ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/226 "2012-12-11T14:33:48Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > If have tipped a penny and written “Thanks for the service, tiny dick guy!” and moved on. Anyway… > > This is truly about unprofessionalism and how easy it would’ve been to simply comp the meals and apologize. However, as former waitstaff, there’s absolutely no reason to use descriptors that might upset someone. As has been pointed out, if that county has one of the highest obesity rates in the state, surely they weren’t the only “fat” patrons? How did he differentiate? 1 fat guy and 2 fat girls, 3 fat kids and a fat grandparent, 14 fat band members? Doesn’t sound like a system that would work very well in the long haul. > > When I needed to keep customers straight, amazingly all I had to do was either number them on the back of my order pad for the night or list their shirt colors. Because, you know, they all had those on. Never once was it necessary to resort to short, bald, big nose or stinky, even if those things were factually true. And if _that_ was the point he was jumping off from in the first place, why not label them as “overweight women”? Same idea. > > Finally, perhaps the reason these three ladies were willing to risk public ridicule is because they felt it was for a good cause. Crazy, I know. Ooh, and for the record, I _am_ a fat chick who doesn’t bitch or make excuses for my weight. It simply is what it is. My main belief though is that people should be professional at work, own up to their mistakes, try to make restitution and not use rude epithets that might upset their clientele. Beyond that, I don’t much care. Frankly, I wouldn’t care if someone described me as “the shortish woman with the thick glasses”, because that’s accurate and IMO not insulting. Calling me “the fat shorty four-eyes” would be an entirely different matter, even though it’s equally true. For me, it has a lot to do with how it’s said, and one reality of our culture is that the media and fashion industry keep pushing the “thinner makes you a more worthy human being” meme. Thus, in a society obsessed with “thin = valued human being, overweight = subhuman”, calling someone “fat” does attack their human worth, even if they are. That word has seriously negative connotations one really shouldn’t use about customers one hopes for repeat business from. That said, going melodramatically wailing to the press about how abused and victimized one is over a word is more than a little immature and excessive. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/227 "2012-12-11T14:38:38Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > For me, it has a lot to do with how it’s said, and one reality of our culture is that the media and fashion industry keep pushing the “thinner makes you a more worthy human being” meme. I wouldn’t blame the media and fashion industry. People generally prefer looking at thin people over fat people. The eeevil media and fashion industry are catering to what people want to see. ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/228 "2012-12-11T14:44:05Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I’ve never been a waitperson, but when I look at a restaurant with 50 tables it makes me wonder how long it takes to learn table numbers. A fair number of restaurants I’ve seen have the number on a little sign on the edge of the table, where the server can see it. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/229 "2012-12-11T14:46:21Z")
> [@brazil84](#): > > Evidently fat people – particularly fat girls - do not like being reminded that they are fat. Which I totally understand, but the irony is that denial and self-deception surely play a role in obesity. Tru dat, but you go to a restaurant to have a relaxing time and eat some tasty food, not for an intervention. I could afford to lose 30 pounds or so myself, but if the waitstaff at a restaurant made it their business to remind me of that fact, they’d have seen the last of my patronage. Ditto anyone else I do business with, with the obvious exception of my doctor, who surely will say something about my weight when I get my checkup next week. But that’s her job. It’s not the waiter’s or the bartender’s job. And I’m flummoxed that the bartender didn’t think it was worth $25.50 of the restaurant’s money to make up for the fact that they’d insulted some customers. ---
**Author:** ![Hbns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hbns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hbns)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/230 "2012-12-11T14:46:35Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > People generally prefer looking at thin people over fat people. You should never use words to describe people like that. Your sentence should properly read: ‘People generally prefer looking at people over people.’ You can thank me later for cleaning that up. You will know it is me when you see the person. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/231 "2012-12-11T14:56:09Z")
And lo, a non-newsworthy story inspires a ponderous and excessively serious discussion thread. What hath Jeff wrought? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/232 "2012-12-11T14:59:07Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Which brings us back around to ‘we can never describe anybody as anything.’ What are these situations in which you are burning to describe people? How often are you describing criminals to the police? > [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > I wouldn’t blame the media and fashion industry. > > People generally prefer looking at thin people over fat people. The eeevil media and fashion industry are catering to what people want to see. This is not a universal human truth. Notions of beauty vary considerably over time and place. And it is absolutely true that the mass media has pushed a particular notion of beauty on the public. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/233 "2012-12-11T15:00:25Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Now imagine for a moment the diner was Ambvalid, and the waiter noted his wheelchair. > > Yikes! You’d be facing a lawsuit and a tv camera within an hour! And he’d be right, too. The waiter screwed up some, the manager screwed up large and now this eatery has pissed off tons of people who love to eat! Good luck with that! There is no justification for this insult to **Ambivalid**. He hasn’t expressed an opinion on this issue one way or another in this thread, and to strike at him out of the blue like this is unacceptable. Ellen Cherry IMHO Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/234 "2012-12-11T15:01:31Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > What are these situations in which you are burning to describe people? Well, there is always the time when you are working as a bartender and have to remember who owes the tab … like the sap in the OP. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/235 "2012-12-11T15:07:13Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > What are these situations in which you are burning to describe people? How often are you describing criminals to the police? Well pretty often, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. > [@Acsenray](#): > > This is not a universal human truth. Notions of beauty vary considerably over time and place. And it is absolutely true that the mass media has pushed a particular notion of beauty on the public. Of course it’s not universal, but the fact (unfortunate or fortunate, depending upon where you fall) is that most people prefer thinner people to fatter people. Now, there may be some argument about who is sexier, a 5’7" who is 160 or one who is 110. But most will not vote for the one who is 220. I don’t buy into the notion that we’ve all been brainwashed to like the skinny. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/236 "2012-12-11T15:09:05Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > What are these situations in which you are burning to describe people? How often are you describing criminals to the police? You know, this doesn’t exactly counter his assertion that we aren’t allowed to use any descriptive terms about people. You’re basically saying “well why are you going around describing people all the time?” Uh, I dunno. When you’re referring to any person you don’t know by name, maybe? ---
**Author:** ![brazil84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@brazil84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brazil84)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/237 "2012-12-11T15:13:53Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Tru dat, but you go to a restaurant to have a relaxing time and eat some tasty food, not for an intervention. I agree, I’m just pointing out the irony in this situation. Especially since the restaurant in question surely has a menu filled with fatty, caloric foods. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/238 "2012-12-11T15:15:37Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Uh, I dunno. When you’re referring to any person you don’t know by name, maybe? And when you are doing it with respect to a customer or a workplace colleague, you watch what you say, just like you do with a lot of things when you’re at work. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/239 "2012-12-11T15:16:15Z")
As far as I can see the only mistake the waiter made was not removing the descriptor from the check. He can use any terms he wants to keep track of tables for all I care. His sin was sloppiness of execution, not denigrating the fat chicks. Anything else and you are demanding thought control. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2012, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/240 "2012-12-11T15:18:03Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > And when you are doing it with respect to a customer or a workplace colleague, you watch what you say, just like you do with a lot of things when you’re at work. > [@silenus](#): > > As far as I can see the only mistake the waiter made was not removing the descriptor from the check. He can use any terms he wants to keep track of tables for all I care. His sin was sloppiness of execution, not denigrating the fat chicks. Anything else and you are demanding thought control. Exactly. He didn’t intend for them to see it, so the idea that you “watch what you say” is moot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=13)