# Customers called "Fat Girls" on receipt at restaurant **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595 "2012-12-10T14:31:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/61 "2012-12-10T18:10:15Z")
> [@Blaster\_Master](#): > > The guy was an idiot. He shouldn’t have put something like that anywhere, even if they hadn’t seen it, who knows who is going to see it. They should have had their meal comped and that should have been the end of it. Their meal should have been comped, and each given a free dessert. Yeah, that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/62 "2012-12-10T18:12:53Z")
> [@Peremensoe](#): > > Except, it doesn’t, any more, evidently. A discount was offered, and publicity was not avoided. A grudging of half-off on your meal accompanied by a smirk from the manager doesn’t exactly spell contrition. Customer service: it’s not that hard. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/63 "2012-12-10T18:12:57Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > They were evidently so humiliated they went to ABC News to make sure the whole country knows about it? :thumbs up: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/64 "2012-12-10T18:14:39Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > Apparently too slowly for Super Cool Guy in a Porsche. He honked at me and told me to get my fat ass out of the way. **Ducati** buddy, an asshole that vile would have said it from a Saturn, etc. Twern’t the car talking. As an owner I’m naturally aware of the behavior of most other Porsche drivers. My sentiment is that 95% of them are comparatively conservative. Don’t typecast us, bro! We’re there for the parts, not the paint. 😃 As for the 3 women in question, I think I’d be far more offended if I was marginally overweight and at least trying to maintain. But in their case it doesn’t appear they’re making much of a concentrated effort to combat their obesity at all so I’m a little confused as to why they’d be surprised at a stranger’s perception. Sure, it was an stupid thing to put in print anywhere, but I don’t see it as having been intentionally malicious. > [@](#): > > The solution? > Don’t tip the guy, tell the manager, and don’t come back. Tell your friends. Exactly. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/65 "2012-12-10T18:16:03Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Is it ironic that one of the names used for Stockton, pre-incorporation, was Fat City? Leonard Gardner’s novel FAT CITY is set in Stockton. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/66 "2012-12-10T18:22:09Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Bullshit. ‘Yokel’ is slight. ‘Big-tit babes’ is degrading. ‘Fine-ass chiks’ is also, though a tad less so. > > These girls were fat; it’s a very plain descriptor. That reflects a blindness as to how the word “fat” is used in our society and the ways in which fat people are routinely degraded and marginalized. If “fat” is a plain descriptor, then so is “big-tit babes.” > [@](#): > > What if they were of less-than-average stature? ‘Short girls’ wouldn’t ping anyone’s radar. Yes, it would. Plenty of short people hate it when their slight stature is pointed out. > [@Modern\_Master](#): > > And they weren’t charged with theft of services? Who is going to charge them? The restaurant decided to apologize instead of pressing charges. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/67 "2012-12-10T18:28:19Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > That reflects a blindness as to how the word “fat” is used in our society and the ways in which fat people are routinely degraded and marginalized. If “fat” is a plain descriptor, then so is “big-tit babes.” Maybe I’m feeling particularly insensitive today, lemme ask you this: Do fat people think it’s ok to be fat? If yes, then it shouldn’t bother them to be referred to as ‘fat’. See the whole ‘big is beautiful’ movement. > [@Acsenray](#): > > Yes, it would. Plenty of short people hate it when their slight stature is pointed out. Then they need to lighten the fuck up. Seriously. If I refer to two women in the same group as ‘short Jane’ and ‘tall Jane’, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. If ‘short Jane’ gets annoyed, that’s her problem. If I walk up to ‘short Jane’ and rest my elbow on her head, and ask what it’s like to buy children’s clothes, she deserves to punch me in the balls. There’s a huge difference that I don’t think you’re allowing to be taken in to account. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/68 "2012-12-10T18:36:08Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > There’s a huge difference that I don’t think you’re allowing to be taken in to account. Yes, the difference is between people you already know and have a degree of intimacy with, and strangers or people in a workplace/business context. It’s always rude to bring attention to a stranger’s physical attributes. ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/69 "2012-12-10T18:42:29Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > Maybe I’m feeling particularly insensitive today, lemme ask you this: Do fat people think it’s ok to be fat? I think it’s fine that I’m jewish. Maybe I even wear a stylish kippah on my nights out. But if I start seeing “Jew” on all my cafe receipts, you’ll forgive me if I get a bit cagey about it. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/70 "2012-12-10T18:47:25Z")
> [@colander](#): > > I think it’s fine that I’m jewish. Maybe I even wear a stylish kippah on my nights out. But if I start seeing “Jew” on all my cafe receipts, you’ll forgive me if I get a bit cagey about it. We’re not talking about _all_ receipts, we’re talking about one instance. But why? Are you? Does what you are wearing visually set you apart from the other patrons, in a way that a server might use to tell you apart? What if there was a priest wearing..I donno, whatever priests wear. Would ‘priest’ at the top of the slip be offensive? What if I donned a fez for a lark…would it be ok for the receipt to say ‘funny hat’? Have one arm? Server notes ‘one arm’ on the ticket. Ok, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/71 "2012-12-10T18:57:53Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Yes, the difference is between people you already know and have a degree of intimacy with, and strangers or people in a workplace/business context. It’s always rude to bring attention to a stranger’s physical attributes. But people do it all the time. I wonder if any of those three women ever call slender women sticks, boney, scrawny, skinny bitches, or claim that women with a low to normal BMI aren’t"real women"? I’ve always been tall and thin, and strangers and coworkers think nothing of commenting on my appearance and it’s rarely nice or flattering. And I’ve never been offered a meal discount or a news segment. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/72 "2012-12-10T19:01:08Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > But people do it all the time. I wonder if any of those three women ever call slender women sticks, boney, scrawny, skinny bitches, or claim that women with a low to normal BMI aren’t"real women"? I’ve always been tall and thin, and strangers and coworkers think nothing of commenting on my appearance and it’s rarely nice or flattering. And I’ve never been offered a meal discount or a news segment. Has it been done to you by someone who’s offering you a service that you’re paying for? What did you do about it? What if they had called you “ugly” or “stupid” or used a racial epithet? It’s up to you to complain or go to the press. No one’s going to do it for you. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/73 "2012-12-10T19:07:06Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Has it been done to you by someone who’s offering you a service that you’re paying for? What did you do about it? What if they had called you “ugly” or “stupid” or used a racial epithet? It’s up to you to complain or go to the press. No one’s going to do it for you. You honestly don’t see the difference between a note of ‘Dirty stinking (racial epithet’ and ‘Fat girls’…? Will you at least acknowledge that they are at different places on the offensiveness scale? ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/74 "2012-12-10T19:07:22Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Plenty of short people hate it when their slight stature is pointed out. And plenty of us don’t give a shit, because, you know, it’s not like it’s a big secret that we’re short. It’s more annoying when people strive NOT to point it out. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/75 "2012-12-10T19:11:16Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Has it been done to you by someone who’s offering you a service that you’re paying for? What did you do about it? What if they had called you “ugly” or “stupid” or used a racial epithet? It’s up to you to complain or go to the press. No one’s going to do it for you. Sure it has, I have a big appetite which servers mention. But I like to eat far more than I like to complain. What I’m getting at is it’s obviously socially acceptable to comment on weight, height, eye and hair color, and nearly every physical attribute but fat. No one ever produces a rational reason for that double standard, and the outrage in the media today over this isn’t doing anyone a favor. “He called us fat!!” “Are you fat?” “Obviously!” _storms off in a huff_ What is the purpose of bringing national attention? What will it solve? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/76 "2012-12-10T19:11:58Z")
> [@Sicks\_Ate](#): > > We’re not talking about _all_ receipts, we’re talking about one instance. But why? Are you? Does what you are wearing visually set you apart from the other patrons, in a way that a server might use to tell you apart? > > What if there was a priest wearing..I donno, whatever priests wear. Would ‘priest’ at the top of the slip be offensive? > > What if I donned a fez for a lark…would it be ok for the receipt to say ‘funny hat’? > > Have one arm? Server notes ‘one arm’ on the ticket. Ok, I think. Yes, referring to my faith-based headgear would certainly help servers tell me apart. And yet, using Jew as an identifier on a receipt would still raise major alarm bells. Even if it only happened once. As for whether a fez-wearer or priest or one-armed man would feel upset about being called so on a receipt, I sure don’t know for sure. You’d have to ask them. But here’s a good rule of thumb for addressing people respectfully: don’t draw unnecessary attention to characteristics they posess that society at large perceives to be a liability. Maybe you don’t mean any harm, who knows? But once it’s out of your mouth, it kind of doesn’t matter what your intent was. Look, nobody’s going to call the cops on you for commenting on a mother’s ugly baby or for telling a crippled WW2 veteran that he’s a pee-reeking crippled old gimp. You’re allowed to say pretty much whatever rude stuff you want. But if people get upset about it, well, that’s allowed too. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/77 "2012-12-10T19:13:42Z")
The word we are looking for is “unprofessional.” We all use potentially-offensive shorthand in our internal dialog (“Okay, I have to give the report to the bird-looking lady with the funny hair, and then have it signed by the slow guy with the unibrow…”) but it’s bad professional practice to write these things down or say them where they have any potential for being overheard. Waiters usually aren’t compensated professional wages, so it’s not surprising that they sometimes act unprofessionally. But sometimes you get caught and have to take the fall. A lost waiting job hopefully won’t ruin this guy’s future, and he’s learned a valuable lesson about professional conduct. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/78 "2012-12-10T19:14:55Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > “He called us fat!!” > “Are you fat?” > “Obviously!” _storms off in a huff_ > > What is the purpose of bringing national attention? What will it solve? Puella quoniam pinguis pro totus , non iustus pro desumo. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/79 "2012-12-10T19:19:13Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > The word we are looking for is “unprofessional.” > > Waiters usually aren’t compensated professional wages, so it’s not surprising that they sometimes act unprofessionally. But sometimes you get caught and have to take the fall. A lost waiting job hopefully won’t ruin this guy’s future, and he’s learned a valuable lesson about professional conduct. Agreed. But blowing this disagreeable situation into a national media blitz isn’t going to advance fat acceptance or whatever the diners hoped to accomplish. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2012, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595/80 "2012-12-10T19:20:41Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Agreed. But blowing this disagreeable situation into a national media blitz isn’t going to advance fat acceptance or whatever the diners hoped to accomplish. What they had hoped to accomplish were paid appearances on Oprah. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/customers-called-fat-girls-on-receipt-at-restaurant/643595.md?page=5)